Chapter 1
jude
The alarm at the fire station blared through the speakers. There were four of us today. We all kicked into gear as we headed towards the fire truck and figured out what kind of call we were dealing with.
“Ten bucks Mrs. Shultz left her burner on again,” Casey said, as we hopped into the fire truck.
“Medical call,” I said.
“Fire alarm!" Weston shouted.
“Dammit, Malone was right!” Bailey shouted, it was a medical emergency.
I grinned as we drove out of the station, putting my headphones on and watching Weston bring the ambulance behind us.
We were the only fire department within a thirty-mile radius and most of the surrounding rural areas depended on us to keep them safe.
I hated how thinly we were spread out, but volunteer firefighters could only do so much.
The call was just outside of Sterling Ridge and when we pulled up to the house I laughed. “Weston is going to be pissed.”
“I can’t wait to see how this plays out,” Bailey chuckled as she got out of the fire truck. I followed.
“I love this job,” Casey mumbled as we rounded the corner and Weston was still in the ambulance.
I chuckled, feeling sorry for Weston, but we had a job to do and that job sometimes was a pain in the ass especially if you were young and unmarried. We walked up to the front door, Casey announcing who we were and pounded on it.
“Oh, thank god!” Mrs. Robbins yanked the door open. “Lulu is in the backyard and she fell off a horse and—”
I didn’t stick around and listen. It seemed this time it wasn’t some elaborate plan to get Weston out here. Mrs. Robbins was dead-set on getting him and her eldest daughter Lulu together.
We rushed out back to the stable and nearby pen. The sisters were all huddled on the floor as we rushed to them. Lulu, the sister who was hurt, was sitting up, her hand close to her chest, the horse was still loose.
“Hey Lu,” Bailey said, setting the bag next to her.
Checking to see that they had her, I decided to bring the horse back to the stable before he got spooked and trampled us.
“What's the horse's name?” I asked.
“S’more.” Ella, the youngest of the sisters replied as I saw Casey rushing towards us. “We don't know what spooked him, he’s usually really good.”
I slowly walked up to the horse, he was a little scared, but I pulled his harness and walked him to the barn.
“Thank you,” Ella said, coming behind me. “I’ll get him sorted.”
I nodded before heading back, seeing Casey and Weston bring out the stretcher. If she got thrown off, she might have some broken ribs.
“Mrs. Robbins, I need you to calm down,” Bailey said. “You can follow Weston and me in the ambulance. We will take her to Monroe.”
Mrs. Robbins cried a little hysterically.
“She’s going to be fine, nothing life threatening,” Casey said, as we walked to the ambulance.
“Mom, come on,” the other sister said. I think her name was Riley.
Once they got Lulu loaded up, Casey and I took the fire truck back to the fire station.
It was times like these, I hoped we didn’t get a call.
It was terrible when there were only two of us.
Joey ended up coming in a little early and I was off the clock before Weston and Bailey got back.
It sucked that we didn't have a big hospital closer to us, but at least we had one, and it was a level 1 trauma hospital.
I hopped into my truck, getting ready to head home, but decided to head over to my brother’s house.
It was always busy there with his two boyfriends, his girlfriend and her daughter.
Lately being home alone hadn’t been so appealing.
If I stayed busy then that meant I had an excuse, and I didn’t have to lie.
I rubbed my chest as the familiar ache hit me and I hated it.
I hated myself, but I didn't know how to fix it.
I was in love with my best friend, Sam Webber.
I had been in dumb love for almost ten years and every year I fell deeper and deeper.
I was fucking pathetic, except when he needed me I bailed and when he called me out on it, I was an asshole to him.
I made it about my family and how he couldn’t respect my family and I was a real fucking asshole.
God, I missed him. We talked every day, but now I had created this space between us.
A part of me was grateful for the space, but a part of me was dying.
This felt worse than being in love with him.
My brother's house came into view as I sighed. I tucked away all my emotions into a small box because if I didn’t, my brother would know something was wrong, and he already knew there was.
He had been hounding me since his girlfriend's daughter's birthday when I didn’t show up, and my best friend had been here waiting for me.
I took a double shift and thankfully, I had been busy.
I got out of my car, seeing my sister and my brother’s girlfriend and boyfriend on the porch swing. They were all staring out into the distance and as I walked up to them, I saw what had captured their attention.
The new ranch hand Forest was chopping wood, shirtless.
Son of a bitch.
This man should have been illegal, sporting that tan with those muscles and that deep V. Those cum gutters. I tried to keep the shiver down that threatened to escape.
“Hello, brother.”
My sister, Iris, snapped me out of my stupor. She grinned at me. I rolled my eyes.
“Good afternoon,” I said, walking up to them.
“Back atcha,” Atlas said, never taking his eyes off Forest.
“Hey,” Nova said, getting up to hug me. “Just in time for the show.”
I chuckled. “Better get your fill before Colt or Theo comes back.”
“Take a load off, brother,” Iris said, patting the seat next to me. “Enjoy the show.”
“Poor Forest,” I said, sitting down, getting a glimpse of him again because how could you not.
He was a gorgeous man. Tanned skin, dark hair, five-o’clock shadow, chocolate eyes and a sharp jaw. I thought I had a type, which looked like my best friend, but Forest was the complete opposite.
“He likes it, why cut wood here when he could do it behind the stables,” Atlas said, raising his brow.
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” I chuckled. “Forest has no problem being sexualized.”
“Thank god.” Iris fanned herself. “Sweet tea, Jude?”
I nodded and she went inside.
“How was work?” Nova asked.
“Not bad, we had a couple of medical emergencies, our last call being the worst. Lulu Robbins got thrown off her horse,” I said.
“Ouch,” Atlas flinched. “Hospital?”
“Weston and Bailey transported her. Possible concussion, broken wrist and ribs,” I said, grabbing the glass Iris handed to me.
“Poor girl,” Nova said.
“I thought we needed a snack to watch a snack,” Iris said, putting down a tray of chips and salsa.
“Ooh, good thinking,” Nova said, diving in.
“Where is Sol?” I asked.
“The guys took her riding,” Nova sighed. “She is stuck on the idea of being a barrel racer, so she’s riding every chance she gets.”
“Don’t sound so excited about it,” I said.
Nova shrugged. “I’m just a worried mama. Instead of Lulu being thrown off, it could be Sol.”
“Yeah, but we’ll get her a good coach, and they will go through all that training with her, especially when to anticipate and jump ship,” Iris said. “The guys will make sure she is as safe as possible. You know they wouldn’t let anything happen to her.”
“I know, but I’ll always worry about her.” Nova leaned back. “You become a mom and it's like, you always think of the worst possible things all the time.”
“That's gotta be awful,” I said, seeing my brother come back with Colt and little Sol in tow.
She was adorable with her little pony and the enormous smile she had.
A little ache in my chest wished I had a family of my own.
I always thought that by now I would have been married with kids, a house and a few dogs.
Instead, I lived alone with a hairless cat named Barnaby.
He was my baby and I loved him to death.
“Nova, really?” Colt rolled his eyes. “You too, Atlas?”
“I mean can you blame us?” Atlas pointed at Forest, who was leaning on his axe watching us. “Oh, son of a bitch.”
I laughed as Atlas’ face grew red.
“Hey, Honey!” Iris yelled. “Lookin’ good, sweetheart!”
“Thank ya, ma’am!” he yelled, as he tipped his hat. While he was looking at the group it felt like he was looking just at me.
Forest always felt like he was undressing me with his intense stare. The longer his gaze was on me, the more I felt he was slowly discarding each item of clothing I had on until it really felt like I was bare to him.
“Stop sexualizing my ranch hand and get yourselves another hobby,” Theo grumbled, coming over as Sol made her way over to Forest.
“Ooooh, daddy, take off your shirt and cut some wood for us,” Atlas whispered a little too loudly.
“Gross!” Iris shouted.
“I did not need to hear that.” I grimaced.
“Fine, daddy Colt, take Forest’s place and we can all stay here and watch the show.” Atlas waggled his eyebrows.
That wasn’t better by much, but I’d rather see Colt shirtless and cutting wood than my brother.
“I think it’s time we go inside,” Nova said. “I got enough food for everyone so get washed up and we can eat in about thirty minutes.”
She corralled Iris and Atlas inside. I followed until my feet decided to walk to a man I had no business walking to.
Forest intimidated me, made me feel flustered and annoyed, but for some reason I loved being in his presence.
When I was with him, all thoughts of my best friend and responsibility went out of the window.
Ok, that was a lie. I still thought of Sam, yearned for him, worried about him, but with Forest he made all of that a gentle hum, allowing me to just be Jude.
I wasn’t some man who had been so in love with his best friend that he didn’t date or have a life outside of his friendship.
It wasn’t even Sam’s fault. I had been so preoccupied with everyone else's life that I had completely forgotten to just live, for me.
Forest was my guilty pleasure, even if nothing would ever come of it. Just being in his presence made me feel different and that made me feel like I was finding myself again. Maybe this was the year I lost my virginity.