Chapter 4
jude
It was a Saturday night, and here I was doing my usual thing.
Takeout and watching some crazy documentary or some movie that had finally come out, with my cat.
No matter what I did, I couldn't run away from Sam. I watched the Yeti’s lose the semi-finals a few days ago, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him and the look he had when the camera panned over to him.
He looked devastated that he wasn’t on the ice, but more than that, I could see the exhaustion on his face.
Something wasn’t right. I looked back at all of his text messages he’d sent, all of them unanswered.
Best Sam – Can we please talk about this? I didn’t mean to get upset. I just got excited about the possibility of you moving here. You being here with me was like a dream come true and it’s just been hard. I’m sorry. I was an asshole. I didn’t mean to snap.
Best Sam – Jude, I know you said you needed space, but please just call me. I’m sorry.
Best Sam – I know family means everything to you. I would never try to come between you and them. Can we please just talk?
Best Sam – Just hear me out. You don’t even have to say anything, just please listen. I’m sorry, Jude.
Best Sam – Answer me please.
Best Sam - I miss you. I’m sorry.
I clenched my jaw seeing his last text message.
Best Sam - Just tell me you’re ok. Please tell me you’re ok.
Sam wasn’t the asshole, I was. I sighed, running a hand through my hair not sure what to do.
Responding now felt like it wasn’t enough.
Do I just tell him I was in love with him and I needed this time to fall out of love with him, but god I just missed him.
This fight was at the worst time. I knew he was hurting because of his knee, and I wanted to be there for him except something was holding me back.
I was emotionally exhausted. Loving Sam Webber was slowly killing our friendship and that was the last thing I wanted.
Maybe this flirting with Forest would go somewhere, maybe he would finally help me get over Sam, and we could get our friendship back.
I needed to put Sam in that box. Friend-zone him and let go of this stupid fantasy I had. Sam Webber was only my friend.
Me – I’m ok. I hope you are too.
I stared at my phone expecting a response right away, but nothing came through. The message didn’t even change to read. Sam always messaged back immediately. I scoffed at myself. Why would he message back immediately or why would he be near his phone? We hadn’t spoken in months.
Did I fuck this up beyond repair?
It was only eight at night and if I stayed here, I would only obsess over him not answering right away, even though he had every right not to answer.
I got out of bed, quickly heading to my closet to change and head over to the Boozy Bandit.
Maybe Forest would be there and if not, I could always see Iris and say I was supporting her even though she had been there for a while now. I just needed to get out of my home.
He still hadn’t texted back when I arrived at the Boozy Bandit.
I looked at our text thread itching to say something more, but I slipped my phone in my pocket, got out of my truck and went inside the bar.
It wasn’t too crowded, since it was still early, and it was just the way I liked it.
I went to the bar, grabbed a beer and looked around at the few people who had already started two-stepping.
I searched for Iris, who didn’t seem to be working.
It was weird being here alone. I was always with someone, whether it was with Sam or my brother, I never did stuff just for me.
What the hell did people do when they came to bars by themselves?
People watch? Pick up people to have sex with?
I mean, I knew most of these people and if I took any of them home, half the town would know before I came.
That was off the table and hook-ups just never appealed to me.
Sleeping with someone right off the bat just wasn’t sexy, I wanted…
tension, the push and pull, I wanted more than just a night.
I took a deep breath, set my beer down on the bar and ordered another one.
One more and I'd go home to sleep, hopefully.
“I’m surprised to see you here.”
I turned around to see Forest, just the man I was longing for.
He looked good in dark jeans, boots and a tight, black shirt.
Forest was tall, dark and a bad decision on a good day.
I didn’t want a one-night stand, but I would break that rule just for him because Forest looked like he would rock my world, and then some.
“Yeah, I needed some fresh air,” I said. “Beer?”
“Shot?”
I pursed my lips before shrugging. Fuck it. I ordered two shots of tequila and a beer for him.
“What are we toasting?”
He looked me up and down. “Good company.”
“Good company.” I clinked his glass before I drank the shot, trying not to grimace at the sting.
Forest chuckled.
“Shut up,” I grumbled, putting my glass on the bar. “I don’t drink the hard stuff.”
“Sometimes, I think you’re so innocent,” Forest grinned.
“I’m not,” I said, handing him his beer.
If he only knew how innocent I was.
“You get this look sometimes, it's like a deer in the headlights look, so innocent and I just want to—” He stepped closer. “I just want to see if it's all an act or if you really are this wholesome.”
My body flushed with desire as he crowded me against the bar.
“Just cause I don’t drink much, doesn’t mean I’m innocent,” I said, while taking a long sip of my beer.
Forest studied me, glancing at my lips before taking a drink of his own. If I wanted to, I knew I could ask him to take me home, and I was damn sure he wouldn’t bat an eye at the request. My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I immediately reached for it before I could stop myself.
Best Sam – Hey, its Valencia. Just thought you'd like to know. He made it out of surgery. The surgeon is confident the repair is better.
Before I knew what I was doing, I hit call.
“Hey, Jude,” Valencia answered as I walked outside the bar.
“What happened?” I asked forgoing the niceties. “Why did he go in for another surgery? I thought everything was fine?”
“Uh… Well—”
“Valencia what are you doing?” Someone murmured.
“He deserves to know,” she whispered.
“His first surgery wasn’t successful. He complained about knee pain, but everyone dismissed him until he finally got an MRI and they saw what was wrong,” she said quickly as more whispering was happening. “Just call him, I know he wants to hear from you.”
“Mamacita, don’t meddle.”
“What about hockey?” My heart was hurting.
“I don’t—”
Some commotion sounded as more murmuring came through the phone.
“So help me god, I won’t suck your dick for a month if you interrupt me again,” Valencia scolded someone, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Sorry about that, but hockey is up in the air. I don’t know what's happened between you two, but please call him. He misses you.”
“Ok, I will,” I said, rubbing my chest.
“Ok, I gotta go before these goofs start up again,” she said softly.
“Thank you, Valencia,” I said as the line ended.
Fuck. This was a mess.
“Hey, is everything ok?”
I started, quickly turning around to see Forest with his brows furrowed.
“Yeah, sorry, my best friend had to have surgery on his knee again and he didn’t tell me,” I said, leaning against the wall.
“That’s shitty,” he said, looking concerned.
“Well, we are fighting and… and it’s just a mess,” I said, not wanting to get into the details.
“He’s… just… giving me space because I asked for it and I messaged him because I missed him, but he didn’t answer.
That was the team’s social media manager telling me he had to have surgery for his knee again. ”
“The team's social media manager?” He cocked his head.
“Yeah, he plays for the Colorado Yeti’s, got injured in March and now he’s having to have surgery again because the first one wasn’t successful," I said, looking up at the stars.
“Damn, that's rough,” he said leaning against the bar with me. “Was the fight so bad, you couldn’t just go visit him?”
I'm in love with him. I wanted to say it, but if I wanted anything to happen between us, I had to keep my mouth shut.
“It was a big misunderstanding that blew up into something more and now it just feels like—”
“There’s too much to say and you don’t know where to start?”
I looked over at him and for the first time it felt like someone other than Sam actually understood me.
“Yeah, exactly that,” I said, wondering who he had fought with and left things unsaid.
“I wish I could give you good advice, but I’m shit at talking things out,” he sighed, running his hands through his hair.
“But I can tell you that saying you’ll call tomorrow will turn into years and the next thing you know you’ll be strangers.
Then you really won’t know what to do and having any kind of relationship will be hard. ”
Forest looked forlorn. Like a lost puppy. Now it made sense why he was constantly moving. Was he running from something he should have done or maybe it was too late to do?
“Thanks, Forest,” I said, pulling him in for a hug,
We both needed it.
“You’re welcome, Jude,” he said, clearing his throat as we leaned into the hug that lasted a little longer than necessary.
“Another drink?” he asked.
“Nah, I think I’m going to go home,” I said. “My mind is all over the place and I won’t be good company.”
He nodded. “You ok to drive?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” I said, pulling out my keys. “Thanks, for everything, Forest.”
“Any time.” He gave me a small smile before walking back into the Boozy Bandit.
My stomach soured at the thought of him taking someone home. Maybe I should—Nope! I needed to go home and sleep on what the hell I was going to do about Sam. That night all I did was dream about Sam and Forest. My dreams were not helping me one bit.