Chapter 6 Jude
jude
The fires west of us had been coming closer and the time off I had requested had been denied.
I had big plans to go to Sam, help him out for a few days and hopefully salvage our friendship.
Except life decided that wasn’t going to happen, and I had been swamped with work.
If I wasn’t at work, I was sleeping and I had to go west a few times to help out.
Winds were picking up. With no rain in sight, everyone was worrying that this was going to get worse in the blink of an eye.
As it was, we didn’t have a very large force here in this area, even though we did have help coming in from the bigger cities.
If things went south, we would have to wait for more help.
Today was a pretty chill day, and the Chief let me go a little early. Everyone was tired from last week and we were all getting out early when we could to rest. I glanced at my phone as I hopped into my truck, seeing a text from Theo.
Theo – Stop by for dinner if you can. I know you've been working hard. Eat, have a beer and I’ll send you home with leftovers, so you don’t have to cook tomorrow.
Me – Depends on what you are making.
Theo – Nova’s making green chicken enchiladas. Two big pans full of rice and beans.
Fuck, I was always down for Nova’s cooking.
Me – On my way.
I wasn’t in the mood for company, but food and beer would help me sleep better tonight.
I had a shift out west again tomorrow for a day.
Then I'd come back and do another shift at the fire station with hopefully two glorious days off after that.
I was desperate for those days off. My mental and physical health needed it.
The moment I stepped out of my car I smelled the enchiladas; my mouth watered and I walked faster. I knocked before walking in, seeing Colt, Atlas and Sol playing some game in the living room. Sol was giggling as I realized they were playing Uno.
“Jude!” Sol yelled as I closed the door. “Come play!”
“I will,” I said. “Let me say hello and I’ll be ready to kick some butt.”
She giggled, setting down a card as Atlas groaned.
I made my way into the kitchen as the smell of utter deliciousness made my mouth water more.
“Hey, Jude,” Nova said as she put a top on a pot. “Just in time. Rice will be done in about fifteen minutes.”
“Great, can I help with anything else?” I asked, giving her a hug.
“Nah, you need to go chill.” She opened the fridge, handing me a beer. “Theo was telling me you've been working nonstop. You need a break.”
My heart warmed. Nova was amazing.
“Yeah, I have to head west to Prosper to help with the fires tomorrow,” I said, taking a long drink of my beer.
"Be careful," she said, patting my arm. “I hate that you are having to go out that way. Makes Theo nervous as hell too.”
“It’s part of the job, but I’m usually away from the fire as back up,” I said, leaning on the counter.
“Well, make sure you are far away from the fire,” she sighed. “Now go relax while I finish up and I’ll pack you some for tomorrow too.”
“Thanks, Nova,” I said, hugging her.
I walked into the living room seeing Colt and Atlas arguing while Sol was laughing.
“That’s not how you play,” Colt argued.
“Yes, it is,” Atlas said, grabbing the instructions.
“He’s right, Colty,” Sol said, as he narrowed his eyes on them, grabbing the instructions and reading them.
I chuckled when Colt threw the paper on the floor. “I’ve never played it like that.”
“You just don’t like losing,” Sol said, calling him out.
“You know what, little girl?” He grabbed her, tickling her and the best sound erupted.
She giggled trying to get away from Colt. Atlas and I laughed as she tried to tickle him back. I grinned watching them all interact. The family they had made always tugged at my heartstrings and I was glad my brother was able to have found his family, even after our real family fell apart.
“Look, we can restart the game with the right rules,” Atlas said, as they calmed down.
“Yes!” Sol yelled, giving me a hug, grabbing everyone's cards and attempting to shuffle them.
“Here, let me help you,” I said, giving her a hand.
We played two games before Nova told us to go wash up. Iris arrived just as I was going to the restroom.
“Hey!” I gave her a hug and a kiss.
She was in her Boozy Bandits uniform.
“Coming or going to work?” I asked.
“Coming, it was my turn for the day shift which I don’t mind,” she said, yawning. “It was actually busy. That crew working on the highway came in for lunch and we had a steady flow of people. How are you?”
“That’s good,” I said. “I’m gonna use the restroom, I’ll catch up in a minute.”
The smell of those enchiladas was calling me and I couldn’t wait. I did my business, washed my hands and made my way to the kitchen to see if Nova needed any help.
“He looks like shit,” Iris said quietly. “Why doesn't he just tell Jude he’s here.”
I stopped before rounding the corner, hearing my name. Who was here? My heart pounded quicker. Sam??
“You should have seen him the day he got here,” Nova said. “He was worn out, and I couldn’t believe he was still on crutches. I don't know what's going on between them, but they're both hurting.”
“Webber and Jude have always been tight,” Iris whispered. “Something big must have happened, but why keep the fact that he's here a secret?”
“He said he wanted to tell him,” Nova said. “Webber looked like a different man. He was timid and he kind of broke my heart.”
“Well, maybe we need to intervene?” Iris suggested.
“No, let them work on their shit by themselves,” Nova said immediately. “But maybe we need to be checking on Webber. I don’t like that he’s at the house all alone in crutches.”
“Well, since he’s close to the bar I’ll go check on him tomorrow,” Iris said. “It’s Michelle’s old house right?”
It was silent after that, and I assumed they had left the kitchen. I leaned against the wall, wondering what the hell I was going to do. Every time Sam was on his offseason he always came back to Sterling Ridge. We would take a vacation and stay together until Webber had to fly back for training.
Everything was changing this summer and all because I couldn’t handle my feelings anymore. This was getting messier than I had wanted. I just needed to go to Sam's house and—
“You ok?”
My brother startled me.
“Uh, yeah just had to take a call from work,” I said quickly.
“Is everything ok?” His brows furrowed.
“Yeah, we were just talking about tomorrow,” I said, hoping he didn’t ask anything else. “Just getting details squared away.”
Theo grunted his disapproval.
“I don’t like it either, but it’s part of the job,” I shrugged.
“I know. Come on, let's eat and then you can rest for tomorrow,” he said, patting my shoulder.
Dinner was a good distraction, or as much as it could be.
The food was great, my brother's family was always the best and being around my siblings was healing in a way.
Theo and I were always the closest. We had to be because I had to protect him from our parents and people at school who would pick on him because no one understood that Theo was different.
He was neurodivergent and in our small-minded town, no one gave him the time of day, not even our parents, who really only cared about our farm.
Luke, our oldest brother, left the house as soon as he could.
He got a football scholarship and made something for himself, leaving us to help our parents run the farm.
That created even more division between our family and when Theo and I decided to go to college, it was like we were betraying them.
My sister was the only one left with them and being the youngest, she was malleable to their nonsense and soon we were all strangers.
After our parents died, my siblings and I finally reconnected.
We understood the toxic life we had grown up in and we were healing together.
I didn’t realize how much I had missed them until we started talking again.
It would have been perfect if our older brother, Luke, lived in Sterling Ridge, but he had the taste of city life and I didn’t think he could ever come back to small-town living.
I was still holding out hope that he might come back to us one day.
Nova sent me home with more food than I could probably eat over the next few days, but she sent instructions to freeze the tray she gave me to make it last. Iris and Theo made sure to tell me a hundred times to text them that I was safe tomorrow or else they would worry constantly.
I made my promises, leaving before they made more requests.
I drove home, at least that's where I told myself I was going, until I took a right when I should have taken a left. My heart made a decision that my brain knew was a bad idea. I lied to myself saying I just wanted to prove Nova was wrong. Sam wasn’t here, he was in Denver getting the PT he needed.
The moment I turned onto the street to look for the house Sam was staying at, I didn’t have to look hard.
I found his car instantly. My heart started beating fast as I slowed down while I passed the house.
The lights were on inside, but I couldn’t really see anything.
I drove to the end of the street, turning around to go home, when I stopped my car one house down from Sam’s. I started to question my sanity.
Just fucking call him.
That was just too easy. I had to do everything the hard way, like get out of my car and sneakily spy on my best friend.
Thankfully, the street was quiet, and it was late enough I might not be seen.
The front window had a good view of the living room and there was a bush that would hide me from the street view.
The last thing I needed was to be arrested for stalking my best friend.
I inched between the bush and the house, staying by the edge of the window, to see Sam sitting on the sofa, his leg propped up.
He hadn’t shaved in a while, the dark circles under his eyes and his raggedy clothes were red flags.
Sam was usually so put together. He was like those Jersey Shore dudes that had a schedule: gym, tan, laundry. I had only seen him like this once and that was when he was a free agent a few years ago except, I don’t remember it being this bad.
I did this to him.
Guilt slapped me in the face. It seemed no matter what I did, one of us would be hurting. I didn’t know what the hell to do. In my haste, I lost my footing. I was slipping, and then falling on my ass, rustling the bush.
FUCK!
I stood up quickly as my ass burned from the fall and booked it to my car, hoping like hell Sam was slow in looking out the window. He opened the front door just as I rounded my truck.
“Who’s there?” he called out.
Jesus Christ, Sam needed to get his ass back in his house.
We had discussed this first and we had always agreed he would be the first to die in a horror film and this just proved it.
I chuckled, wishing I could tell him this and my ache for Sam grew tenfold.
I needed one more day to figure out what the hell I was gonna do, then I would call him and we would talk this out.
Maybe I would tell him my dilemma, that I loved him and we could work past it, because continuing to stalk Sam in the middle of the night was not a viable plan. I wasn’t made for stalking, for fuck’s sake I was a firefighter.