Chapter 20 Sam
sam
The days at the ranch were becoming my favorites.
The cold was coming in quickly and we were prepping for what they said was going to be a cold winter.
I was a city boy, but going home with Jude a few times showed me a hard day's work very quickly and while I was in college I hated it, but now I could appreciate it.
Theo insisted on paying me, even though I insisted on not taking anything from him.
Not only did I get to spend my days with Forest, but the best days with Jude, Forest and I were amazing.
It made me work out muscles in my body I had not expected and it got me out of my house, which was the most important part.
Staying home and doing nothing was not good for me.
It gave me too much time to think about my life and what to do with it now that hockey wasn’t my every waking thought.
I had a kinesiology degree to fall back on, but what the hell could I do with that?
I hadn’t thought about my degree choice very well, my main goal was just to get into hockey and I kind of regretted not thinking about this more thoroughly.
I had plenty of money for the time being.
My financial advisor had steered me in the right direction with buying stocks and owning a couple of properties.
If I really wanted to, I didn’t have to work, but my mental health would have suffered.
I needed to be useful and keep myself busy or I might slip back into old habits.
“Sam, your phone is ringing!”
I dried my hair with a towel as I walked out to Jude’s living room, grabbing my phone and seeing a Monroe number.
“Hello,” I answered.
“Hello, may I please speak to Mr. Webber?” the man on the phone asked, sounding a little nervous.
“This is he,” I said, sitting on the sofa.
“Hi, Mr. Webber. My name is Vander Dalton and I coach hockey at Monroe University,” he said.
“Hey, Coach Dalton. What can I do for you?”
“Look, I’m sorry for calling you unannounced, but I heard you were staying close by.
I was wondering if you could stop by and maybe play with the boys.
You know, give them a few tips and a few words of encouragement,” he said quickly.
“They are a really talented bunch, and I think they could learn a thing or two from you.”
“Um… Can I think about it?” I asked, getting nervous.
“Yeah, of course,” he said. “I’m sorry. I know this is completely random, but my sister works at the PT you went to, and I happened to see you there.
You also work out with a friend of mine.
This is my first year coaching because the head coach quit and I was just supposed to be an assistant coach, and I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. ”
I chuckled.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said all that,” he said quickly.
“It’s fine, it's just I haven’t really been on the ice much and—”
“Take your time deciding. I know this is a long shot, but thanks for taking my call,” he sighed.
“Give me a few days,” I said. “Talk to you soon, Coach Dalton.”
“Thanks, Webber.”
I hung up the phone, staring at it, wondering if I could do this. I hadn’t played in months. What if I made an ass of myself?
Worthless. Brat. Useless.
I closed my eyes as my insecurities hit me.
“Who was that?” Jude’s voice pushed away some of the bad thoughts.
“A coach from the local college asking if I could come in and show the kids a few things,” I said, taking a deep breath.
“That sounds awesome,” Forest said sitting next to me. “What’s wrong?”
Forest lifted my chin to look at him and I shrugged.
“I haven’t played in months and—” I didn't know what to say.
“This might be the perfect way to get back into the game,” Forest said. “I mean, this could ease you into the game, right?”
“Can you imagine how excited you would have been if you had a hockey player come to Lubbock and help you play?” Jude sat on my other side.
“I think I would have been starstruck and in shock if someone from the NHL came and visited,” I said, knowing where he was going with this.
“So, why not get on the ice with them and give them some pointers?” Jude grabbed my hands. “You're not playing a game, you're giving these boys some confidence and I mean who wouldn’t want some advice from an NHL player?”
I knew he was trying to be nice and give me confidence, but what he was saying was making me feel worse. No one wanted advice from a retired, washed-up hockey player who could barely walk, much less skate at the level I needed to.
“They know injuries happen and what you went through wasn’t easy,” Forest said, grabbing my other hand. “I think you being out on the ice shows them to never give up, even if they stop playing tomorrow. You're not completely out of the game either. You're still a free agent.”
“I don’t… I don't know if I can go in front of a bunch of kids and pretend everything is ok,” I said, leaning back, feeling like such a sour puss.
“Then don’t sugarcoat it,” Jude said, like it was the easiest thing in the world. “Tell them it's hard, that sometimes it sucks and remind them that their reality can change in the blink of an eye.”
“That’s harsh.” I scowled.
“Is it though?” Forest asked. “How many of the people you were drafted with are still playing? How many failed in their first year or maybe never even got to play?”
I knew of a couple of guys who only played a few games before injuries hit or they didn't pan out like the team thought they would and they weren’t ever re-signed, nor did anyone ever sign them again.
It wasn’t uncommon to only play two years in the league, and this year would have been my eighth year playing.
I was luckier than most. They were right that it was a harsh reality that all hockey athletes had to come to terms with. You could have an injury take you out at any time.
“At least think about it, please,” Jude said, squeezing my hand. “I think it could be really good for you and who knows, maybe those kids could whip you into shape. You’re still a free agent.”
“Ok, I’ll think about it,” I said, getting up feeling unnerved with their gaze on me.
“Hey, who knows, this might be your calling,” Forest said, slapping my ass as he went into the kitchen.
“Oh yes, Coach Webber,” Jude said, taking food out of our bags. “One of my fantasies has been a teacher and student. Maybe if you get an office, you can fuck me against your desk.”
My eyes widened as I stared at Jude. Where the hell had my shy best friend gone? Now I couldn’t get the image of college Jude bent over a desk while I fucked him roughly with my hand over his mouth.
“If that happens, I want to watch, or maybe you can fuck in the showers and I can be another coach watching,” Forest said, his voice deepening. “Two coaches fucking a student? Sign me the fuck up.”
I shook my head at where the conversation had gone and as the night wore on, I realized they were right. I could do some good for these kids and who knows, maybe one of them might end up playing in the NHL.
Monroe University had a Division 1 hockey team and I was very excited to learn about it after I agreed to come in on a Wednesday.
I asked Coach Dalton to let me come in a little early to skate.
I was too chicken to tell him the reason why, but now that I was lacing up my skates, the excitement to be on the ice was overwhelming.
I’m glad I decided to come early because I needed to do this alone and get all my emotional shit out of the way.
I did some stretching before I arrived and while my body felt strong, there was a part of me that expected the worst. This wasn’t the first time I had skated either, but today would be the first day I would push myself to do things I hadn’t done in months.
The moment my skates hit the ice all of my worries went out the window.
I skated a few laps around, testing my knee out, pushing myself to go faster and while I was stiff, my knee felt pretty damn good.
I grabbed a few pucks and my stick, running through a few drills that started off pretty horribly, but my body quickly remembered what the hell to do.
My alarm rang telling me the kids would be down on the ice soon and Coach Dalton wanted me to come down after they got warmed up.
I grabbed my pucks with a big smile on my face, feeling pretty fucking good.
I was an idiot for waiting so long to get back on the ice and start practicing.
If I had stayed in Denver and forced myself to get back on the ice sooner, maybe I would have signed with a team.
Except that's not what happened. That reality was hanging on a lot of what-if’s, and if I was being honest with myself, I didn’t know if I would have had the strength mentally to be on the team.
I made my way to Coach Dalton's Office, knocking before walking in.
“Webber!” he yelled, getting up from his desk too quickly, making his chair fall.
I didn’t know what I had expected of Coach Dalton, but it was not a young clumsy, nerdy-looking coach. He had to be my age or not much older.
“Hey, coach,” I said, holding my hand out.
“Hi. Hey, holy shit,” he said, shaking my hand. “I honestly didn’t think you would come.”
“I said I would, and I always mean what I say,” I said.
“I mean, I know calling you was a gamble, but never mind, I’m rambling,” he said, patting his chest.
“You, ok?” I asked, getting a little worried.
“Yeah, I’m just hoping this helps. I was only supposed to be assisting Coach Maynard, but when he quit right before school started, the Dean gave me the job when the other coach said he didn’t want the position,” he said quickly.
“Then he quit and now it's just me cause we can’t find a coach and I’m drowning.
I know the kids would look up to you and honestly, I’m just hoping for some pointers too. ”
“Well, shit coach. That sounds like a clusterfuck and half,” I said.
“It’s been crazy and I think the only reason we’ve won any games is cause this one kid, Parker, is pretty damn good and I have him on a line with Jensen. They seem to work well until one of them throws a fit or something that doesn't go right happens,” he said, looking overwhelmed.
“Well, I can’t promise a miracle, but I’m more than happy to help however I can,” I said.
“Thank you,” he sighed. “Let me get them all on the ice and get them warmed up. If you want, give them fifteen minutes and you can come and watch them.”
“That sounds great,” I said, as he left.
The door to his office was left open and I could hear the guys in the locker room.
They were rowdy, crude and it made me miss my college days just a little.
I waited twenty minutes until I made my way down to the rink.
It was chaos as they warmed up and poor Coach Dalton looked stressed out.
After a few minutes they all gathered around the coach, and I took that as my cue to come down.
Coach Dalton looked over his shoulder as I skated onto the ice, stopping right next to him.
“Hey guys,” I said, smiling at them.
“Holy shit,” one of the players said, before too many of them started talking all at the same time.
Dalton blew his whistle..
“Yes, this is Webber who played for the Colorado Yetis,” he said. “He’s going to be practicing with us today.”
“Why would we want some washed-up player?”
“Parker,” Dalton snapped, as some of the other players ooohd.
“I might not be playing right now, but if you can make it past me three times and score in ten minutes, I’ll leave,” I said, standing to my full height.
Parker looked like a cocky shit who needed to be brought down a few notches.
He scoffed. “That’s too easy,” he said skating away.
Dalton looked at me with a concerned expression, but for once, I wasn’t worried. I knew kids like Parker had talent, but they rode on that too hard and not on discipline.
“Alright, Coach. You do the honors.” I gave him a puck skating in front of a goal.
“You sure about this?” He raised his brow.
“Definitely,” I grinned.
Parker and I stood in front of each other as Coach stood in between us.
I smiled at Parker who only looked more annoyed.
The moment the puck dropped everything ceased to exist. While Parker was really fucking talented, he was too emotional and by the third puck drop he was making rookie mistakes.
When I scored the last goal, he glared at me, but gave me a nod.
“Alright, guys. Anyone else want a go?” I asked, watching everyone nod their heads. “Great, let's play some hockey.”
After Dalton blew the whistle for showers, I hadn’t felt this good in months and a part of me hoped this wasn’t the last time I would be on the ice.