2. Theodore
2
theodore
All my life I had struggled talking to people. I stammered, I tapped my fingers excessively, I missed social cues, and I didn’t get a lot of what people were saying. As I grew older, and once I learned of my Neurodivergent diagnosis, it got a little easier, I learned my tapping was called stimming and I could carry on a conversation for maybe a few minutes, but with people I wasn’t comfortable with, it was difficult.
Talking to Nova was especially hard; I floundered like I was a teenage boy talking to a girl for the first time. She made me forget everything I had learned about carrying a conversation and pretty much everything else. My mind was completely blank, the only concepts I had retained were not to stare and not to look mad.
Today was the day I thought I could speak to her, tell her Atlas was coming home and invite her and her daughter over for dinner, but I choked. Getting a haircut was stressful enough for me and wanting to talk to her just made me clam up.
I left the salon feeling defeated, almost turning around to go back in and figuring out a way to talk to her, but I knew I would freeze up again. It had taken me forever to work up the courage to go to the salon in the first place.
Taking a deep breath, I let that notion go, and walked across the street to the local mechanic shop. It had grown over the past few years. My boyfriend Colt worked here on occasion, usually when bikes needed to be serviced. That was his preferred work, but occasionally when they needed help, he came in to work on cars. He was also essential to the ranch, fixing stuff for me so I didn't have to pay someone an exorbitant amount of money.
The door was opened to the garage showing two bikes side by side and a man without his shirt showcasing his broad shoulders. He had a plethora of tattoos that looked like they danced when he moved, with a big scar on his lower back and a scowl that said not to talk to him. I smiled as I walked to him making noise so he knew I was coming. He didn’t know about the impromptu haircut, and I was curious how he would react.
“Bill, I’m almost done,” he snapped, the irritation loud in his voice.
“Chop, chop,” I said, trying to tease him, but wondered if I had missed the mark.
He turned around quickly with a look that could kill, except I knew how much of a softy he was. Colt Ramirez was an asshole to everyone else, but Atlas and I, we had him wrapped around our fingers.
“Holy shit” His eyes were wide and for a moment I wondered if I had made the wrong decision.
I randomly put my hand through my hair, feeling self-conscious and weird that I could no longer run my hands through my long hair. Maybe I had made too rash of a decision.
“It’s a good ‘Holy shit’,” he said, standing up, studying me. “Damn, hot stuff, you might make my boyfriend jealous.”
“Atlas doesn’t come in for a few days and I think?—”
“I was joking, you,” he said, threading a hand through my hair, stopping at my neck and pulling me in for a quick kiss.
It ended too quickly as I chased his lips. He gave me a chaste kiss before looking me over again.
“You look amazing, Theo,” he said with heat in his gaze.
At least I think that’s what it was. Over the years I had been able to pick up on when he was turned on, but sometimes I wasn’t always spot on.
“Thanks,” I said, feeling my blush hit my ears.
“What made you decide to cut your hair?” He squatted down to resume working on the bike.
“I know Atlas likes it short, and he wasn’t too fond of how I looked last time,” I said. “Even if he did say I was a lumbersnack, I still don’t understand what that is.”
“He was calling you hot, Theo,” Colt said, tightening a bolt.
“But he said he barely recognized me,” I said, putting my hands in my pocket.
“You don’t think the way he mauled you was evidence enough that he liked the way you looked,” he said with a raised brow.
“I guess?” I shrugged. “He was a little confusing the last time we saw him.”
“He was stressed, he also didn’t want to leave,” he said, standing up to walk to the other side of the bike. “This has been harder on him than on you and I.”
I knew things were rough for him, but I hated when he didn’t just tell me what was wrong. Colt always had to translate things and keep me in the loop emotionally. It hurt my feelings sometimes, but I also understood that not everyone had the patience to deal with me and my inept emotions.
“I know it’s been hard on him, but why doesn’t he talk to me?” I rubbed the back of my neck feeling uncomfortable.
Colt stood up, gazing at me with uncertainty, then walked over to me. His sculpted body and pierced nipples momentarily distracted me.
“He knew if he complained enough, you would have sold the ranch and moved out to the city for him,” Colt said, cupping my cheek.
“I—”
“Don’t say that you wouldn’t,” he said, resting his forehead against my own. “And once you decide, you don’t back down. It’s also so hard to get you to change your mind.”
“I love you guys, and I would do anything to make sure you are happy,” I said, feeling like I had to defend myself.
“I know, but sometimes you only think of us and not yourself, and while it’s cute, we don’t like to see you put yourself last.” He rubbed his nose against mine. “You’ve had to do that enough with your family. This is a compromise. Atlas knew what he wanted and that was to keep you here.”
“That doesn’t seem fair,” I said, pulling away. “Why does he have to suffer while I stay comfortable?”
“Because he loves you,” he said, matter-of-factly.
I nodded, wrapping my arms around him trying to process this.
“When he gets back, you need to have a nice long talk with him, that way, you get things off your chest and this doesn’t fester,” he said, kissing my temple.
“Are you almost done?!” A shout brought back that Colt scowl.
He glared over my shoulder. “I’m almost done.”
He rolled his eyes at me, I couldn’t help but love his grumpy self.
“I’ll see you at home,” I said, kissing his cheek quickly.
“I’ll bring home some burgers,” he said, turning around to go back to work.
“I can grill tonight,” I said. “We have steaks, broccoli and I can make some fries.”
It was about the only cooking I could do or in the crockpot.
“You sure you don’t want to save it for when Atlas arrives?” he asked, as he laid down. “I can get burgers today and we can cook for him when he gets back.”
“Ok,” I said. “I’ll see you at home.”
I walked out of the garage, heading to my car by the salon. The June air was humid, it felt like rain would be heading our way soon. Jumping into the truck, I noticed that Nova’s car was still in the employee parking lot. I glanced into the salon seeing her station empty. It was almost four and she usually had to go pick up Sol at this time.
Looking up and down the street, I saw her walking to the building that held summer camps for the kids. She was holding a few bags, her hair piled on top of her head, and I knew something was wrong.
Getting back into the truck I started backing out and headed towards her. She was walking quickly and by the time I caught up to her she was almost at the rec center. I rolled my window down as I pulled over.
“Ride?”
Nova looked at me, defeated. Her eyes were rimmed red, her cheeks were pink from the heat, a loose strand curled around her face, and she looked sad. I thought Nova was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. For years I thought I only liked men, occasionally appreciating the woman’s form, but Nova was the exception. Not only was she gorgeous, she worked hard for her daughter, and I admired her greatly for it, but she was also as stubborn as a mule. Nova hated to ask for or accept help.
“I’m sorry.” Her lip trembled. “My car didn’t start.”
“Why…” I took a deep breath. “Why didn’t you go across the street?”
She looked away. “I had to come get Sol and I knew they were going to tell me it was something expensive and I really didn’t want to hear the price.”
I nodded, I had seen the financial burden to raise one child alone. She worked her ass off to give Sol everything, except life was cruel sometimes.
“Get in, let’s get Sol,” I said, leaning over and opening the door. “Then think about the car.”
She took a deep breath. “Thank you,” she murmured.
“Any time,” I nodded, realizing this was the most I had talked to her in one sitting, immediately making me uncomfortable that maybe I was being too pushy or blunt.
She put her bags on the floor of the truck, hopped in as I rolled up the windows, turning the A/C higher. Her flowery scent filled the cabin as I put the truck into drive. She leaned forward into the vents enjoying the cool air with her eyes closed. I stole a few glances at her, admiring her beauty without interruption.
I turned into the rec center parking lot, stopping at the entrance.
“I’ll be back,” she said, rushing out of the car and into the building.
I took out my cell to text Colt when I noticed a text in our group chat.
Atlas: I’m so excited. I can’t wait to be home with you guys.
Colt: You better stretch before we see you, I don’t think we will be leaving the bed at all on the first night.
I blushed as all the dirty thoughts entered my brain.
Me: I’ll get Gatorade and protein bars for easy replenishment.
Atlas: I’ve been doing yoga out here, you guys better be stretched and limber when I get there.
Colt: Please tell me you have those sexy yoga pants.
Atlas: Maybe, I guess you will see soon.
Colt: *A drooling emoji*
I laughed as I opened the chat for Colt and I.
Me: Nova’s car isn’t working. Do you think you can look at it?
Three dots appeared and reappeared several times before they stopped. I sighed, Colt did not like Nova at all, even though he never gave me a reason why. He was rude and mean to her like he was with everyone else.
I started to type when he responded.
Colt: Ok
My nose wrinkled as I wondered why he hated her so much. Ever since meeting her, he would go out of his way to avoid her, but one good thing was he was nice to Sol. The door abruptly opened, startling me.
“Teddy Bear!” Sol said, hopping into the truck with the help of Nova.
“Hi,” I said, smiling at her.
“Thank you for helping Mama and I,” she said, as Nova stared at the seatbelt.
“We can go back for it,” I said, knowing she was realizing she left her car booster seat.
Nova looked up at me and nodded.
“Mama, I’m a big girl, I don’t need a booster seat,” Sol said, helping to put on the seat belt.
“Car accidents don’t care if you are a big girl or not,” Nova said, kissing her forehead.
Nova got into the car, and I took off back to the salon to grab her car seat. The drive wasn’t far or full of traffic, but it was better to be cautious.
“Mommy, guess what?” Sol squealed.
I tried not to flinch from the abrupt loud noise, but it was really hard not to.
“Sweetie, we are in a car close to each other, we don’t need to get too loud,” Nova said, as I felt her glance at me.
“Oops, sorry Mama and Teddy Bear,” Sol apologized.
“It’s ok,” I said, wondering if I should say more.
Sol talked animatedly to Nova about her day and when we picked up her booster seat, she spoke to me about the arts and crafts she had made. I nodded as she kept talking, not having to ask any questions because she talked a lot.
When we reached their house, I got out of the car with them to help take down the booster seat and their bags. Sol ran into the house with a quick goodbye, running into her room as I set her booster seat by the front door.
“I could pick you up tomorrow,” I said, putting my hands in my pockets before I started to fidget.
Talking to her was getting easier.
“I think I can get one of the girls from the salon to pick us up,” she said quickly, not looking at me. “You’ve already had to give us a ride. I also know ranch life keeps you busy.”
“It does, but thirty minutes outta my morning ain’t going to do nothing,” I said. “What time should I be here?”
“Is eight, ok?” She finally looked up at me.
She looked stressed and in need of a good night’s sleep.
I nodded. “Goodnight, Nova.”
“Thank you. Good night,” she said softly.
I closed the door, waiting till I heard her lock it. Once they were locked up, I hopped in my truck, and set a reminder. Mornings were always a little chaotic and I didn’t want to forget. I drove home and did some chores since Colt was bringing dinner home. It allowed me to decompress and think about Atlas coming home. It had been too long since we had all lived together, and tonight felt like my life was on the verge of changing. It made me a little itchy. Change was hard for me, but I knew it would be for the better or so I hoped.