12. Theodore
12
theodore
Iris had come to live in Sterling and for once, I was excited to have my sister living close to me. I knew she had been sheltered, our parents had kept her far away from me, like what I had was contagious. Once they had alienated all of their boys, I think they worried about who would continue the Malone legacy and that’s when they changed their tune a little.
They treated Iris so much differently than us and in turn, Iris was completely loyal to them, so much so, she hated us and the distance we kept between our parents. I wasn’t a smart man, but once I graduated, I knew I needed to leave. After seeing my older brother, Luke, leave and make something of himself, I had to do the same. The only reason my parents tolerated me was because I did my work at the farm efficiently and without complaint.
Getting into college was hard, but I ended up getting my degree in agriculture and with all the information I learned, I knew I could help my family out. There were so many things we could do with the farm but a bitter part of me wanted them to suffer. They never helped me, so why should I?
When my uncle passed his ranch to me, it was sweet relief that he gave me a sense of purpose. I never gave the farm another thought, other than moments of weakness when I missed having family.
Iris was six years younger than me and too young to understand what I had to go through, so when she blamed me for things not working out at the farm, it hurt, but she didn’t have the entire story. My brother blamed her, but she was only a product of my parent’s lies, and now that she was here, I was excited to really get to know my baby sister.
Izzy found a job at a bar just outside of town called the Boozy Bandit. While I hated that she worked at a bar when she could have worked for me, she needed to live life for her and no one else. I had a feeling she needed to prove to herself that she could do things on her own.
I was never a fan of bars, the noise level was always too much for me and drinking expensive drinks at a place never made sense to me. I could buy a twelve-pack for the cost of two beers, so why would I want to spend more?
Jude suggested we visited her and support her. Colt had been to the bar a few times and heard that Tuesdays were slow and not so crowded, with possibly less noise. My nerves were getting the best of me as we arrived.
“Just say the word and we leave, ok?” Colt laid his hand on my thigh.
I nodded, opened my door and helped Atlas out of the back. He kissed me, grabbed my hand and led me into the bar. I braced myself for the onslaught of overstimulation, but when we walked in, it was calm and not too noisy.
Atlas led me to a table, looking around curiously. I pulled out the seat for him and Colt, waiting till they sat before I did.
“I love your southern manners, babe.” Atlas grinned at me.
I blushed.
Colt chuckled, laying his hand possessively on my thigh. Iris was taking orders at a table near us, laughing with the customer. She looked good here.
“Should we order or wait for Jude and his best friend?” Atlas asked, looking around.
“We should?—”
Colt didn’t finish his sentence as I looked at him. His mouth was slightly open, his eyes wide and a look of disbelief on his face.
“Jesus Christ,” Atlas groaned.
I followed their line of sight when my heart stopped. Nova was leaning over the bar talking to a woman. Her shorts were hugging her ass, leaving nothing to the imagination of how much of a nice ass she had.
She laughed at something the bartender said, and grabbed a drink to deliver it. Our eyes all followed her to a table not too far from us. She smiled at the man who was devouring her with his gaze. I wanted to growl, bring her over to our table and sit her on my lap so that no one could catch a glance at her ass. The possessiveness startled me, but unfortunately it wasn’t a surprise.
“Hey, you made it!”
Iris’ voice was the cold bucket of water I needed.
“I have never been here,” Atlas said, saving me. “I like it.”
I was tongue-tied, sweating and hard for a woman that I had no business being hard for because I had two boyfriends, who just so happened to be right next to me.
“I like it, it’s not so bad, the crowds are good, except Fridays, when the mechanical bull is up and running.” She looked slightly uncomfortable.
“You ok working here?” I asked, feeling protective.
“Yeah, it’s been different, but I think I needed that,” she said, patting my shoulder. “Now what can I get y’all to drink?”
“Beer,” I said, not really a big drinker.
“Surprise me,” Atlas said.
“Top Bourbon,” Colt added. “Get Theo a Sam Adams.”
“Great, I’ll be back.” Iris walked away as my eyes instantly looked for Nova, who was nowhere in sight.
“Those shorts should be illegal,” Atlas murmured.
“They should be burned, but I thought she wasn’t supposed to be working,” Colt growled.
“She doesn’t have her sling on either,” I clipped.
“It’s been three weeks,” Atlas said, turning towards us. “She might be able to take it off for a few hours as long as she isn’t lifting anything. It depends how well she is doing at therapy.”
“She shouldn’t be working,” Colt snapped.
“I agree.” I glanced at Colt, wondering where this protectiveness was coming from.
The last few days she had been with us, they hadn’t spoken to each other and I assumed it was because he had opened his big mouth and said something mean. He didn’t look like a man who hated her; he looked hungry for her.
“She’s a grown woman,” Atlas said, studying Colt. “If she feels like she can work, then we have to trust her judgement.”
“We can’t trust her judgment, she climbed on a roof and fell off,” he growled.
“Look, she was trying?—”
“Hey guys!” Jude came in at the perfect time with his best friend, Webber, right behind him.
I looked between Atlas and Colt wondering where this was coming from.
“Hey,” I said, dispelling the tension between them. “Nice to see you, Webber.”
“Hey, Theo.” He grinned at me.
“These are my boyfriends, Atlas and Colt,” I said, seeing Nova pass by us, still oblivious.
“Hey, we’ve met,” he said, shaking Colt’s hand. “But I don’t think we have ever met.”
Webber shook Atlas’ hand.
“I’ve heard about you many times, it’s nice to put a face to a name,” Atlas said, scooting over.
“Same, man.” Webber sat next to him. “Never thought Theo would have two boyfriends, but I can see it works. I might have to get me two boyfriends or maybe one girlfriend and a boyfriend.”
Webber grinned, looking over at Jude who wasn’t even paying attention.
“Three people is the way to go,” Atlas said, as Iris came back with a full tray.
“Hey guys! Here you go,” Iris said, handing out our drinks. “What can I get you?”
“Hey, Izz, we’ll have whatever you have on tap,” Jude said.
“Gotcha. You guys want some appetizers?” She put her drink tray under her arm, looking good as a waitress.
For her first job, I was proud of her.
“Whatcha got, sweetheart?” Webber asked.
I narrowed my eyes at him as Iris gave him a list of appetizers.
“You better watch out, you’ve got training in a few weeks,” Jude said, as Iris left.
Webber started talking about the new team he was playing for. He was traded to the Denver Yetis and it was apparently a whole new team. New owners, new players, coaches and everything. As they talked about hockey, I kept my eye on Nova. She was a busy woman, but she was only carrying things with one arm even if she had to make several trips. She came out of a door with plates of food, walking to us and when we locked eyes, her steps faltered.
“Here ya go, boys,” she said, putting the food on the table.
“Hello, Nova,” I said, as her cheeks turned pink.
“Hi, let us know if you need anything else.” She smiled.
“How's your arm? I heard you had a nasty fall.” Jude turned to look at her.
“Oh, better, but still a little stiff,” she said.
“I thought the doctor said to keep the sling on for six weeks?” Colt asked, not hiding the anger in his voice.
“My physical therapist says I can keep it off for a few hours a day,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him.
“You look good,” Atlas said. “It must be awful having to wear that sling.”
“Yeah, it is.” Colt and Nova continued to stare at each other. “Let Iris know if you need anything.”
She walked away before we could say anything.
“Damn, was it just me or was there tension in the air?” Webber asked, grabbing a fried pickle.
“Read the room, dude,” Jude said, shaking his head.
“The room says…”
Jude glared at Webber, who shut up instantly, but looked over at me and winked. I had no idea what that wink meant, but I knew I had missed something. The rest of the evening we didn’t see much of Nova and the longer we were there, the angrier Colt became until I had had enough and said we had to leave. I had never been more grateful for the excuse of waking up early before.
The July sun was draining. By the end of the day, I felt wiped out, even if it wasn’t that hot. We usually hit the mid-eighties, but every year it seemed to be getting hotter and hotter. I wiped the sweat off my brow as I walked Maleficent to the barn.
“Teddy Bear!”
I turned around to see Sol running towards me. She threw herself at me and I caught her.
“I’ve missed you.” She squeezed me tightly.
“I've missed you too, Sunflower,” I said, putting her down, seeing Nova walk up to us.
It had been a week since I had seen her at the bar, and she was wearing those damn shorts again. They plagued my dreams.
“Hello, Nova,” I said, tipping my hat to her.
“Hi, sorry. She’s been anxious to come over and tonight’s the first night I have off.” Nova looked guilty.
“Well, I did say any time, so come on, Sunflower, let's go see Hula Hoop.” I held out my hand and Sol immediately took it. “I can watch her if you have things to do or you want to take a nap.”
Nova looked exhausted.
“Uh, I don't have anything to do,” she said.
“Momma, go nap!” Sol said, pulling me towards the barn.
“Lay down on the couch for a bit,” I assured her. “I’ll get you when she is ready or in forty-five minutes.”
Nova pursed her lips in indecision.
“Go, I got her.” I said, waving her away.
“Thirty minutes and we have to go back for dinner,” Nova said sternly.
“Ok, Ok!” Sol yelled, running to the barn.
I chuckled. “Have a good nap.”
She nodded. “Thank you.”
“Anytime,” I said, walking to the barn.
While Sol played with Hula Hoop, I did some much-needed barn maintenance. After I brushed our horses and gave them all treats, I realized it had been almost an hour.
“Sunflower, we gotta go get your momma,” I said, dusting myself off.
“Already?” Sol pouted.
“It’s been almost an hour.” I grinned.
I swear, she was a master manipulator, and it was so easy to give in to her.
“Five minutes, please!” She put her pig next to her little face giving me her best puppy dog eyes.
“I’m going to go get your momma, so you have till then, ok?”
“Ok!” she squealed, kissing Hula Hoop.
I shook my head, smiling as I walked away. Sol was always the best part of my day, and not having her here had made me wonder if I did want kids. I never wanted any because I was afraid of how much of my trauma I would pass along to them. Now I looked at Sol and wanted to help Nova give her the best childhood she could ever have. She deserved that, like so many other kids. But sadly, people, like my parents, never saw us as children, but just as workers. Our lives were a transaction, and I hated that.
I walked into the house to see Nova leaning against the island, drinking something. Her eyes were closed, setting off alarms in my head.
“Are you ok?” I asked softly.
Nova looked over at me with red-rimmed eyes.
“Yeah, I just get dizzy sometimes,” she said, looking defeated.
“It’s only been a month since you fell.” I stepped up to her, cupping her cheeks.
It felt natural to comfort her.
“I know, but I was hoping—” Her lip trembled. “I was hoping it wasn’t going to take so long. Being out of work for so long is hurting my finances.”
“Nova,” I said, wiping a tear away. “If you need help, we can always help.”
“No, I can’t ask you to do that, not when you’ve helped me so much.” She put her hand against my chest. “This is my dilemma and I’m just tired.”
“You don’t have to do this on your own,” I said, leaning forward.
“I have to,” she whispered, her eyes getting bigger as they looked down at my lips.
Before I could process what I was doing, I leaned forward, kissing her softly, wishing I could ease her burden. Her lips were soft as she pressed against me. Our kisses were sensual, and I licked the seam of her lips, needing more. She opened herself to me, igniting a need in me that had me deepening the kiss immediately.
Nova moaned, kissing me back with equal fervor. Running a hand through my hair as I weaved a hand around her waist to bring her closer to me. She fit perfectly against me, soft and full of curves. It felt right to have Nova in my arms and her lips on mine. Like rain after a drought or the first blooms of spring, she was the missing piece in my stained glass that I didn’t know was missing. Our kiss grew frantic as she pulled me closer until the sound of someone pulling up pushed us apart.
Nova’s eyes were wide in disbelief.
“Oh god, oh god.” She touched her lips. “I’m so sorry. Fuck, oh no, Shit! I’m so sorry, Theo!”
She pushed past me, running out the door as I stood there in shock. What the hell had I done? Atlas and Colt’s voices snapped me out of it with guilt crashing into me. I was an awful boyfriend.
Nova high-tailed it out of our house, leaving Atlas and Colt confused. They walked into the house and the moment I saw them, I knew I couldn’t keep this a secret, but something held me back. I wished I didn’t feel guilty about the kiss.