15. Nova
15
nova
The strawberry festival in Monroe was the distraction I desperately needed after my disastrous date ended with Theo kissing me as Atlas and Colt watched without a single protest. If the waitress hadn’t interrupted our moment, I don’t know what would have happened. The tension between us was supercharged and if they had lured me into their web, I wouldn’t be able to resist anymore.
Sol and I were on the bus to Monroe that ran just for the festival. It beat driving, dealing with traffic and paying twenty bucks for parking that was too far away. The bus from Sterling Ridge was ten bucks round trip and dropped us off right at the entrance of the festival.
“Momma, can we go get a strawberry croissant first?” Sol asked, bouncing in her seat as we got closer to Monroe.
She was decked out in a red dress with red converse and I put in red extensions in her hair for the occasion. Her cheeks had a dusting of blush and her lips were smeared with cherry lip gloss. I was also wearing a red dress with red extensions and a bit more makeup. We had enjoyed coming to the festival the last two years and learned people definitely liked to dress up.
“Yes, and I can get a coffee too,” I said, as the thought of coffee made me yawn.
Sleep had been shit the last few days and nothing but an orgasm or Tylenol PM could put me to sleep. I was out of Tylenol and getting off was hard when all I thought about was them.
“Maybe we can go get those fried Oreos with that strawberry drizzle.” Sol looked out the window. “Then can we go play some games?”
“Just a few games,” I said, feeling guilty that funds were tight and we wouldn’t be able to do everything she wanted.
The only reason we were able to come was because I had gotten a refund for the deposit I had given Marv for the roof since Colt had fixed it. I didn’t even have to ask for it, he just sent me a check. The relief I felt at seeing that money was almost enough to make me go over and thank Colt, but I was still mad. Well, at least I think I was.
The bus slowed down as we turned onto the street it was held on. The driver opened the door and Sol jumped out of her seat.
“Whoa, slow down, tiger. We have to let the people in front get off first before we take off,” I said, holding her back.
“I’m so excited, mama,” she said, jumping up and down.
“I know, baby girl, but we have all day here,” I said, as we watched most of the people on the bus get off before we walked off.
Music was playing and the smell of strawberries filled the air. Sol squealed as she grabbed my hand, making our way to the woman taking tickets. She tore ours, allowing us entry. Sol and I walked towards the enormous banner that said welcome. We took a selfie in front of it like we had done before. Seeing Sol growing in the pictures was a favorite of mine and I loved having this moment with her. It was hard just being us, but I loved these moments of just us.
“Come on! Croissants and coffee!” Sol yelled, dragging me through the crowd that thankfully wasn’t too crowded. As the day went on, way more people would amass.
We stopped in front of a small tent with a cafe that was from Mountain View. The line wasn’t too bad, considering the smell coming from their tent was so delightful.
“What can I get you?” Darcy, the woman who helped run the coffee shop, asked looking up at us.
“Sugar!” She beamed at my daughter.
My heart warmed that she remembered Sol.
“Ms. Darcy!” Sol jumped up and down.
“How are ya, munchkin? I have a surprise for you.” Darcy waved at me, turning around to get a box.
“Eeek!” Sol squealed.
Darcy put a box on the table, opening it to show four croissants with a sun painted on them.
“These two are strawberry and these two are pistachio,” she said, showing us which was which. “But don’t tell anyone I made you pistachio ones, ok. I remember how much you loved them last time.”
Darcy whispered the last part as Sol nodded her head. “I won’t.”
“What can I get you, Nova? A flat white? A snickerdoodle latte?” she asked, remembering my past orders.
“What's new?” I looked at her menu. “Actually, surprise me.”
“Oh, can I have tea?” Sol added.
“You got it!”
“Babe, can you make a pistachio latte with oat milk?” she called out to a man with gorgeous blue eyes and tattoos on his arm.
Word was, Darcy had two boyfriends or should I say husbands by the look of the ring on her finger.
“Got it,” he said, getting to work.
I pulled out my card and handed it to her. She ran it, giving me a receipt that only said three dollars.
“Darcy, I think you charged me incorrectly,” I said, handing the receipt back to her.
“Nope, that's right.” She smiled. “Come back and tell me if you liked the croissants, Sugar!”
Sol grabbed the box as the handsome man gave me my latte and Sol her tea.
“Thanks,” I said.
“It’s Darcy's newest concoction, it's pretty damn good.” He nodded, going back to work on orders that Darcy called out.
“Say thank you,” I whispered to Sol.
“Thank You, Darcy!!!!” She yelled.
Darcy grinned, waving at us. “Enjoy!”
We took our pastries to a grassy area and sat down to enjoy the croissants and our drinks. We polished off two croissants each, listening to the woman band on the stage that was doing covers. They played great songs until one of Sol’s favorite songs came on.
“Boots Stop Working” played and we joined the few who were line-dancing to this song. Sol and I sang along as we danced, being goofy. Shake It Off by Taylor Swift came on and we continued to dance. Sol’s version of dancing was jumping up and down, occasionally shaking her hips. I laughed while taking a video of her, enjoying seeing her like this. She giggled as she sang, looking carefree, just how I wanted her to be. If there was one thing I did with my life, it was to make sure she enjoyed life to the fullest and try to ease the loss of not having a dad.
“Too Much” by the Spice Girls played and Sol squealed. I had transferred my love of Spice Girls onto her and I couldn’t be more proud. It was a slower rendition, so I picked her up and we slow-danced.
We sang the first verse together when someone tapped me on my shoulder. My smile faded when I saw Atlas with Colt and Theodore on the side of the dance floor.
“You mind if I cut in, Sol?” Atlas asked, holding his hand out to me.
“She’s all yours!” Sol pushed herself off of me, running into Theo’s arms.
“Can they take her to play games?” he asked. “They won’t be too far.”
I nodded, too stunned to say anything. He waved to the guys as Sol squealed, waving to me. Atlas slid his hand around my waist bringing me closer to slow dance. My hand rested on his shoulder, and I stared at my nails, feeling his gaze on me. I couldn’t look at him because I didn’t know what I'd see. Theodore’s kiss had branded me. The first time I panicked, thinking I had ruined their relationship, the second time he told me to look at the men who he was in a relationship with.
What game were they playing at?
“Say something.” Atlas’ velvet voice teased me to look up at him, but I held strong looking over his shoulder to where Sol and the guys had gone.
“I’m confused,” I said truthfully.
“So are we.” He let go of my waist, tilting my chin up to look at him.
He didn’t look confused, he looked like a man on a mission, like the man I met that stormy day. He had changed so much in that small amount of time, and had only gotten more good looking. He was also almost nine years younger than me. They were all younger than me.
“I don’t know what you want?”
“Well, if you would talk to us maybe you'd find out,” he said, tucking a hair behind my ear. “We've gone to the house, and you haven’t been home. I even stopped by for a haircut and you were busy.”
My cheeks flushed. I had been avoiding them. I even went so far as to bring Sol to work with me at the bar. If I ran away, we couldn’t talk about them ruining my date or about my feelings and what was going on.
“Maybe I was angry you ruined my date,” I clipped.
“Then why let Theo kiss you?” he countered.
“Who could resist a kiss from Theo? I am only a woman.” A woman who had needs and Theo checked all of my boxes. I didn’t say that, of course, even though I wanted to, just to see his reaction.
He chuckled. “You are right, anyone who would refuse that man is an idiot. He’s warm, kind and there's something so endearing about him. Theo is one of the best men I know. If you needed a shirt, he would give you one off his back.”
“Exactly, but it was a mistake,” I said the words, except they felt like dust in my mouth.
As much as I told myself it was a mistake, my heart wouldn’t believe it.
“Is that why you’ve been dodging us, because it was a mistake? Or did we make you feel something?”
His gaze was penetrating, like he could see right through me. I had to look away or else he would see the truth.
“What’s this, we? Colt can’t possibly be part of that.” I ignored his question.
“And what if he is?” He spun me around as the last note hit and a new song came on, a little more upbeat.
I shook my head because Colt didn’t like me. We didn’t like each other. This had disaster written all over it.
“Just talk to us, or just listen to us,” he pleaded.
Atlas and I were the only ones not dancing as we got looks from the other dancers since we were in the way. I could hear them out and then shut them down, but a part of me didn’t want to shut them down. What would it be like to have three boyfriends? I was exhausted just living on my own and taking care of Sol. I don’t know if I would have the energy for the three of them.
They could entertain themselves.
My thighs clenched together as I thought of them and what it would look like to watch them. I bet they were beautiful together.
“Momma!” Sol yelled.
I turned around to see her carrying an enormous stuffed animal.
“Look, Colty won it for me!”
“That's amazing, baby!” I looked over at Colt who was looking at Sol with affection in his gaze before he looked at me.
Butterflies erupted in my stomach. Colt was gorgeous, he had that drop-dead bad boy look that I think we all fantasized about. When he was with Sol, my ovaries threatened to explode. He went from a ten to a fucking one hundred. They all did, and the way they behaved with Sol made them even more attractive. I wanted to dive into this headfirst, but it wasn’t just me. I know if I told Sol anything about us, she would be crossing her fingers that they would be her daddies and if this didn’t work out, it was not just heartache over one man, but all three of them.
“Mama, let’s go play some more games!” She grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the small section of games.
I laughed at her enthusiasm. “Ok, a few games though, let me get some tickets for the game.”
“I have some, Mama,” she said, showing me a stack of tickets that I knew had to be at least fifty dollars’ worth.
“Oh, ok.” I followed an extremely excited Sol.
“Let me hold it, Sunflower.” Theodore took the bear from her.
He smiled at me, a blush rushing up his neck. I glanced at his lips wanting another taste, wanting so much more. As Sol dragged me to her favorite game where you had to throw rings at bottles, I always felt someone's eyes on me and every time I looked up to see one of them staring at me, my resolve weakened. If they kept this up, I might be putty in their hands in no time.