27. Theodore
27
theodore
The snow was falling harder than it had been this morning. The forecast said we would get at least five inches of snow, maybe more. If Sol had gone outside, I hoped she hadn’t walked around aimlessly.
I built a small stable by the house so we could put up our horses and not have to worry about putting them up in the barn if we were too tired. We had Luna here in case Sol wanted to go riding. She had been dead set on practicing so she could become a barrel racer. I didn’t have the heart to tell her no. Hula Hoop was also here, along with a duck named Howard and Sable, who preferred the animals to people.
I opened the door as Sable rushed to me. The barn was still cool, better than being outside. I installed a floor heating system that kept the floor warm, it was cheaper than heating the entire building.
“Hey beautiful, is Sol in here?” I kissed Sable's nose before she ran away from me.
I looked around making my way to Luna’s stall, tapping my fingers as I tried to stay calm.
Thankfully, Sol was inside brushing Luna’s hair with her jacket on, but she had her pajama bottoms on with her tennis shoes.
“Sunflower,” I said, holding my tongue from scolding her.
“Is my mom with you?” She glanced back at me.
“No, but she is looking for you,” I said, staying on the outside of the stall. “You scared us.”
“Did you know my momma has boyfriends?” Her big brown eyes glared at me like I was the problem or a part of it.
“Who said that?” I asked cautiously.
“I heard Luke tell Genevieve something about mom’s boyfriends,” she sniffled.
“Are you mad at your momma for dating?”
She looked at me as her lip trembled.
“Yes and no,” she sniffled. “If you were dating her, I wouldn’t mind or Colt or Atlas. Why can’t she date you guys? What if I wanted you to be my dads?”
She cried as I pulled her to me. I didn’t know what to do, should I tell her or wait for Nova. I had the foresight to bring my phone, and I opened up our group chat.
Me: I found her, but she is sad that Nova has boyfriends. She said she wanted us to be her mom’s boyfriends.
Colt: Where are you?
Me: Small Barn.
I rubbed Sol’s back as she continued to cry, I wanted to fix this, but I didn’t know how. So, I kept quiet as she cried in my arms, afraid I would say something wrong because I hated seeing her sad. The barn door opened quickly as Nova stomped in, looking furious. I shook my head not wanting her to be mad.
Nova took a deep breath before walking toward us. She knelt down, putting her hand on Sol’s back.
“Sweetheart,” she said softly. “Talk to momma.”
“Who are your boyfriends? Why can’t Colt, Theo and Atlas be your boyfriends?” Sol mumbled into my shirt.
“Is that why you have been mad at me?” Nova asked.
“I like them, and we could be a family,” Sol said, pulling away from me. “I like all the time we've been spending together.”
“Honey,” Nova whispered, as a tear slid down her face.
“I asked Santa for a big family, Momma,” Sol said, looking down at her hands.
My throat grew tight with emotion. Sol was the sweetest kid, and it was beyond me why her father wasn’t in the picture with this amazing little girl. I felt honored that she wanted to be my family and I hoped Nova was going to tell her because I would give Sol and Nova the world if they let me.
“I’m sorry, Sol,” Nova said, wiping her eyes. “I know things haven’t been easy for us and we've had to do this family thing alone, but the reason mommy didn’t tell you about her boyfriends was because she didn’t want you to get your hopes up. I didn’t want to give you another thing to be disappointed about, but if you really want to know, I will tell you.”
“What if they don’t like me, Momma?” Sol whispered.
“Oh honey, they adore you.” Nova reached for Sol, and she went willingly.
I looked away as Sol’s insecurities reminded me of my own and I didn’t want her growing up like that. She deserved to be told every day she was wanted and loved.
“Who is it, Momma?” Sol asked softly.
“I think you know them,” Nova said, hiding her smile. “Teddy Bear, Colty and Atty.”
Sol abruptly pushed away from Nova.
“Momma, they are your boyfriends?” She looked at me in disbelief.
“Yeah, they are.” Nova blushed. “I didn’t tell you because I thought I was protecting you from heartache, but now I see that I was wrong in doing so.”
“Momma!” Sol tackled Nova in a hug, and I laughed. “We don’t keep secrets.”
“I know sweetheart. Momma was worried about you, you will always be my priority,” she said, cupping Sol’s face so they were looking at each other. “You are my baby and at the end of the day, I will do everything I can to protect you.”
The barn door creaked open, Colt and Atlas peaked around the corner.
“Everything ok?” Atlas asked, worry bled through his tone.
“Momma told me you're her boyfriends!” Sol yelled, rushing to them.
“You ok?” I asked, helping her up.
“She scared the shit out of me but I’m glad we got to the bottom of her being grumpy,” Nova said, dusting herself off. “I swear I thought I was doing the right thing but I got it wrong.”
“You were trying your best,” I said.
Nova sighed. “Sometimes it feels like that's not good enough.”
“You are good enough, Nova,” I said, cupping her face in my hands. “I know you think you are not, but you show up every day, you try, and you keep trying. That's all we want as kids, is a parent who tries and shows up.”
“Thanks, Theo,” she said, picking at my jacket. “I want her to have a life free of expectations and to just be a kid. I guess I want her to have everything that I didn't have emotionally and physically. I guess that’s what most parents want anyways.”
“Not all parents,” I muttered, as she gave me a sad smile.
Colt walked over to us with Sol in his arms.
“Now, Sundae, you can’t be running off on us like that, your momma almost had a heart attack,” Colt said. “She got really scared.”
Sol frowned. “I needed to think.”
“Well, next time, think in your bed. I’ll leave you alone, but you can’t be going outside by yourself where no one knows where you are at,” Nova said, narrowing her eyes at Sol. “Especially in the cold.”
“Ok, I’m sorry,” Sol said softly. “Sorry I made you worry.”
“Thank you. Now, let's never do that again.” Nova kissed her cheek. “Let's go inside because I am cold.”
“Can I get a group hug?” Sol asked, as we walked to the door.
“Yeah, we can,” Nova said, hugging Colt as I pulled Atlas towards me and we completed the circle.
Sol sighed dramatically. “Best Christmas ever.”
“Yeah, Sweetheart, it's a pretty great Christmas,” Nova said, as we shared a look.
It was one of the best Christmas’ in a long time. Atlas was finally home. Nova and Sol had found their way to us, and it was starting to feel like my life was shaping up to be what I had wanted and so much more. I hoped this was only the beginning.
“When was the last time we hung out like this?” Jude asked, as Luke, Iris, him and I rode horses down the pasture. “I think it was before the funeral; it’s wild to think that was a year ago.”
“I don’t think we have ever done it and it’s weird to think it's almost been a year,” Luke said, looking thoughtful as just the four of us rode together. “When I left for college, it felt like I got to see less and less of you guys even when I went home.”
“I don’t ever remember hanging out with you guys. If it wasn’t chores or cooking and cleaning, I felt like I was always separated,” Iris said, riding next to me. “It feels like it just happened yesterday.”
“I think this needs to be a yearly thing,” Jude said, looking around. “We don’t have anything holding us back. I miss you guys.”
“I’m glad we aren’t separated anymore. I've missed you guys. But when it's calf season, Luke can come down and we can all deliver calves,” I chuckled.
Luke made a face. “I don’t miss delivering cows, but sometimes I do miss the animals and farm life.”
“I don’t miss it,” Jude said disgustedly. “Waking up early and working all week till you were bone-tired sounds awful. I don’t know how dad did it for all those years.”
“He had no choice,” Iris said sadly. “All that debt was crushing him and in the end, it’s what killed them.”
“I’m sorry, you had to sell the farm, Iris,” Luke said.
“Maybe one day I can have it back, but for now I’ll live a little before I decide on what’s next,” she sighed.
“Live for you, Izzy,” Jude said somberly. “Find out what you want and if that’s the farm, then do it, but if it’s out of some obligation, it’s going to be a burden, just like it was for dad and mom.”
I expected an argument. “Ok,” she said softly. “It’s hard to want something else when your entire life was centered around it.”
“I struggled when I came here and I didn’t enjoy ranch life until I let go,” I said, pulling my horse close to her. “Let it go, and like Jude said, if it still calls to you, well, maybe we can figure something out.”
I patted her back, feeling a little guilty she had no choice but to sell the farm, but I knew she would have struggled to get the farm out of the hole.
“Ok, I’ll let you know.” She smiled at me, and I felt the crack in our relationship heal even more.
“Hell, start a new farm here,” Jude said, making Iris laugh.
“I’m sure you can get some good crops here, maybe even an apple orchard,” Luke suggested.
“All I need is a few acres, I could totally start an orchard, maybe with apples and peaches,” she grinned. “We could even have a festival and maybe dress up the cows.
“Whoa, how did we go from helping her to offering the ranch up and dressing up my cows?” I looked between them, confused.
They laughed. “I’m teasing, Theo,” Iris said.
“Oh.” My cheeks grew red.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” Iris chuckled.
“Well, I do have the acreage for it,” I said, realizing this might not be a bad idea.
“Mmmm, now I want some apple pie,” Jude said, rubbing his stomach.
“Peach cobbler would be great too,” Iris said, as she looked over at Luke.
“We could bond more over pie.” I looked over at him pleading with what I hoped was a cute, adorable face.
Luke laughed, “If one of you can beat me home, I’ll bake them; if not, you’re on your own.”
Luke took off quickly, but my brother hadn’t been on a horse in a while. Izzy took off after him, quick as lightning as Jude and I pushed our horses to run. I was confident that Izzy would beat him. She was amazing with horses and had always been a natural with them.
I laughed when Izzy beat him by a lot and as she made a lap around Luke, I had a really great idea. I might have found a new venture for the Ranch and possibly a new teacher for Sunflower. Maybe I could entice my sister to stay here by giving her so much more than our farm ever could.
I already interviewed a few people in January who didn’t feel right for the job as Ranch Hand. I needed someone I could rely on but no one seemed to fit or even realize what this job entailed. This time I figured a working interview might be easier and tell me what I needed to know in the first few minutes and save us some time.
A tall man walked up to the barn admiring the view. He was dressed in boots, jeans that had seen better days, a jacket lined with sherpa and a baseball hat. I instantly liked him as he reminded me of Colt except he smiled at me immediately.
“Hiya, you must be Theodore,” he said, holding his hand out. “Names Forest.”
“Nice to meet you,” I said, shaking his hand. “Ready for a ride?”
“Hell yeah.” He walked to the barn with no hesitation.
I let him get Atlas’ horse ready, watching as he did it with ease and caring for the horse. He got on the horse getting out a set of gloves. We rode out to the herd in silence as I watched him ride taking in the scenery with a smile on his face.
“Have you worked with cattle before?” I asked as we stopped on the edge of the herd.
“For two years down in Texas a few years ago, then worked a dairy farm after that and then I worked the circuit,” he said, looking at ease out here.
“Well, we don’t have an enormous herd. Our schedule isn’t as hectic,” I said looking out at the land. “My boyfriend and I manage just fine but it would be nice if we had more time off. We might also expand in the future and I’d like to have the crew before that happens.”
This was always the hard part. Not many people approved of our lifestyle and I didn’t need to subject the people I loved to idiots who were small minded.
“I think if I had to work with my boyfriend, I’d end up single real fast,” he chuckled.
I smiled not understanding what he meant but I didn’t want to be rude.
“I need to move the herd west, you up for the task?” I asked.
“Yeah I’m up for it,” he grinned and I knew he had the job already.
Sable’s bark had me turning around to see my brother Jude trotting towards us.
“Sorry, I’m late,” he said a little out of breath, looking at Forest.
Shit I forgot I asked him for help.
“Perfect timing,” I said. “Jude this is Forest, he might be our Ranch Hand.”
“Damn are you actually hiring someone?” he asked, glancing at Forest who was still looking out at the herd. “Seems like Nova’s been good for you?”
I shrugged feeling like my face got red.
“Come on let’s get these cows moved,” I shook my head.
Forest worked with us easily, he acted like support watching Jude and I and by the time we came back to the barn I knew he was going to work well here.
“When can you start?” I asked, getting off Maleficent.
“Tomorrow?” He grinned, glancing at Jude.
“Perfect,” I said, having a great feeling about Forest.