Chapter 34 Rosie
thirty-four
Rosie
I accept a salty cracker from Marissa, take one nibble, then hand it back with a grimace.
“Thank you,” I say to my bodyguard as my wave of nausea passes. “But if I never eat another one of those in my life, it’ll be too soon.”
She grins and steps back as I reposition my in-ear monitor and accept my guitar from a member of the stage crew. He hovers for a minute while I settle the strap across my body, then moves away when I nod to say I’m set and give him a smile of thanks.
Beside me in the darkened wing, Pia slips her phone into her pocket and turns her attention to the host of tonight’s charity benefit concert.
He’s giving a presentation about the importance of therapy dogs on the mental health and well-being of military veterans.
The statistics are promising and the case studies heartwarming, and I’m close to tears when Pia gently touches my arm and guides me away from the stage.
“Are you all right?” she asks.
I sniffle and try to laugh. “I’m fine. It’s the pregnancy hormones. My emotions are so muddled these days. I can’t stop crying.”
Pia gives me an empathetic smile and offers me a tissue from her purse. “It’s not the hormones, Rosie, or not hormones on their own. You’ve been through a lot these last couple of months. More than most people experience in a lifetime.”
Understatement of the century, and though it might look like I’ve got my act together, the truth is that my emotions have never felt so out of control.
I’ve gone from the debilitating lows of fear, rage, and helplessness to the heady highs of more love, hope, and happiness than I’ve ever known.
I’ve embraced the very worst and the very best of life and I’m not going to lie. I could use a nap.
Preferably in bed, where the man I love is recovering from his injury, and not just in a physical sense.
I’m worried about Finn. He’s been quiet and introspective since they released him from hospital more than a week ago.
He’s compliant and uncomplaining with the rehab, so he’s healing well, and he’s more attentive to me than ever.
I’ve never felt more loved, but I can’t shake the feeling that he’s struggling with something.
Too often he becomes lost in his thoughts, like something is bothering him and he won’t tell me what. But I’ve got a good idea.
I’m here to perform tonight because this cause means so much to me, but I’m impatient to return home and tell him he’s got nothing to worry about. I know how to make things right.
I accept Pia’s tissue and dab at my eyes. “But the show must go on, right?”
She sighs and pulls me deeper backstage, finding an empty nook away from prying ears. The noises from the concert fade into the background.
“It’s not always easy to do my job,” she says quietly. “I need to balance a client’s personal life with her public image, and the choices I make don’t always make sense on the outside. I thought I was doing all the right things.”
“Pia.” I take her hand and give it a reassuring squeeze.
“We’ve talked about this. What happened with Lauren wasn’t your fault, and you’ve been so incredibly supportive ever since.
Canceling my appearances. Handling the media.
Giving me the time and space I need to rest and be with Finn. You’ve been wonderful.”
Her smile is warm, but I can see she’s still struggling with a misplaced sense of responsibility, so I give her an awkward one-armed hug around my guitar.
“We’re good,” I say as I let her go. “I promise.”
“Well, I have some good news on the publicity front,” she says. “I would have waited until after your set to tell you, but the production manager just let me know there’s a five-minute delay to our slot time, so we’ve got a little time to fill.”
“Good news?” I give her my full attention. “What is it?”
“It looks like Chip will be called as a witness in Lauren’s trial.
Their affair will be officially exposed, the truth about the breakdown of your relationship will become part of the public record, and the smear campaign he so diligently coordinated against you will be wiped from the collective memory.
He’s already feeling the ramifications in the industry.
Clients and company heads are canceling their meetings left, right, and center.
Nobody wants to be associated with him. I predict a disappearance from LA altogether in the not-too-distant future. ”
My smile is weak. “Thanks, Pia. That is good news and I’m glad Chip’s going to get what’s coming to him, but you know what?
” I laugh with a little disbelief. “I don’t care.
Isn’t that strange? I don’t care if he’s happy or not happy or in the business or out of it.
I don’t even care all that much about what people think of me.
I have everything I could ever want in life and I just… I don’t need anything else. You know?”
Pia frowns for a moment, like she’s never heard a celebrity declare they aren’t invested in their public image, then she tilts her head with a friendly smile. “Keep this up and you might be the easiest client I’ve ever had.”
“Well, if you’re looking for easy, stick with me. I’ve been thinking about my next move, both in music and in life, and I’ve decided that the best thing for my family is to step away from the spotlight altogether.”
“Oh?” Pia frowns. “What do you mean?”
I smile to myself. “Running away to a little cabin in the woods maybe.”
Her brows draw in deeper. “And what does Finn think about this?”
I scoop my hair off my shoulder to reset my guitar, and Pia fusses with my curls until they’re sitting just right.
“Finn doesn’t want this life,” I tell her.
“He doesn’t want to be chased and photographed and splashed all over people’s social media feeds, and I can’t blame him.
Look at what my fame has put us through already.
I need to start thinking about more than just me and what I want.
I need to think about the people I love—Finn and the baby—and I’ve never had to do that before.
Isn’t that wild? For the first time in my life, I have a real reason to be selfless. ”
Pia rolls her lips, like she’s considering her words carefully.
“Rosie. You’ve worked damn hard and sacrificed so much to be where you are today.
You’re one of the good ones, and I don’t say that lightly.
Not everyone with your kind of money and influence uses their power to make the world a better place.
And I admit I don’t know Finn that well, but he doesn’t strike me as the kind of man who would expect you to give up everything you’ve earned just because he’s uncomfortable with the spotlight. ”
“No, he’s not.” I lift my chin. “He’s the kind of man who would give up his life for me. The least I can do is love him enough to hear him even when he’s not speaking. He’s not happy, Pia, and I’m determined to do everything I can to fix that.”
My publicist worries her bottom lip and her brown eyes warm with concern. “Even if it means sacrificing everything you’ve worked for? You’ve fought so hard to claw back control from Chip. Are you really going to put your fate into another man’s hands all over again?”
“Not my fate,” I tell her. “My heart. And yes, because I’m safe with Finn in a way I’ve never been safe before.”
A stage manager approaches and ducks his head politely. “We’re ready for you now.”
“Thank you,” I say before turning to Pia. I roll my shoulders back and shake out my hair. “How do I look?”
Pia smiles softly and something like pride lights up her pretty features. “You look perfect.”
“Thanks. Let’s go.”
We follow the stage manager back to the wings, and I’m about to step on stage when I notice someone is already out there.
I hesitate, looking toward Pia for instruction, but she’s grinning like she knows something I don’t, and when she inclines her head back toward the stage, I look again at who’s taken my set.
It’s a man carefully perched on a chair so that his injured leg is propped and set for comfort.
He’s wearing a tight white T-shirt over his tattooed arms, hair brushed back like he’s just run a hand through it, a familiar vintage Martin on his knee, and a look of anxious anticipation in his tender cognac eyes.
He watches me approach, and I float across the stage toward him like I’m walking on air, the crowd going mad with cheers and whistles.
I barely have time to register the earpiece in his ear or the battery pack at his waist before he strums the first notes of a song I don’t know. And then he starts to sing.
The hush that falls over the stadium is absolute as Finn’s smooth, sexy baritone weaves its way around the enormous room.
It trembles a little at first, and I’m stunned that someone who has never performed in any real capacity has chosen this moment to make his debut.
The glow of a single spotlight falls on Finn and his guitar, and his voice reaches all the way to the rafters and to the depths of my soul, his lyrics speaking of adoration and devotion and taking chances.
He sings to me about warm blankets and cool rivers, running through trees and red flannel shirts.
He sings about courage and commitment and wanting a life of adventure more than what might have been.
He sings about desire and trust and what’s meant to be. He sings about us.
I’m standing right there beside him when the final notes escape from beneath his fingers and the audience erupts in rapturous applause. Finn scans my face with nervous expectation, his brow furrowed and his manner more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen it.
“You wrote that?” I whisper. “For me?”
He nods as his throat bobs with a swallow. “Did you like it?”
My laugh is choked with emotion. “I loved it. And I love you.”
“I love you too,” he says, and when the audience breaks into ecstatic applause, he winces and covers his microphone with his large hand.
“How do you turn this thing off?” he asks, loudly enough that a stagehand swoops in to disconnect the mic from the sound system.
“What are you doing?” I ask in wonderment, glancing out at the thousands of people watching us with curious anticipation. “We can talk about this later offstage if you prefer.”
Finn shakes his head as he takes my hand. “What I have to say can’t wait. I’ve never been so scared as the moment I thought I was going to lose you, and it made me realize that I didn’t want to live another day without letting the world know how much I love you.”
“Oh, Finn.” I start to cry, and he carefully brushes the tears from my cheeks. Around us, the stadium cheers, and I laugh. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“I wanted to do it. You’ve given me so much, Songbird, including your trust. This was the only way I could think of to give you mine in return.
To let you know I heard you when you said there’s strength in vulnerability, and I believe you.
That it’s safe to step out of the shadows and be seen.
And that no matter what happens next, if I have you, I’ve already got everything I want.
Whether our life is on a stage in LA or a dusty cabin in the middle of nowhere, I’m up for all of it as long as we’re together. ”
I lean in and kiss him, laugh-crying against his mouth as the crowd starts to whoop and whistle. “Will you sing with me, Finn?” I ask.
“Yes,” he says. “Anywhere. Anytime.”
I release him with a sigh, then wave to a crew member to let him know we’re ready to go back on. He switches on Finn’s equipment and hands me a mic.
“Hey, Los Angeles!” I call out to the audience. “Have y’all met my man?”
They clap and call out, and I laugh as Finn drops his head with an embarrassed shake.
“If it’s all right with you, we’re going to give you a brand-new song that we wrote together. How does that sound?”
The crowd roars, and someone rushes out to give me a seat and put my microphone on a stand. When I’m settled, Finn strums the first notes of our song, and I play with him, our voices rising with the lift of my heart as we give our love wings.