Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Bayleigh
I’ve fucked up.
I know it. Kelly knows it.
“I should tell Brendon,” Kelly says as she paces the room. “Especially when I found out there were photos and video of you drinking in the park. But we managed to track down the footage and pay them off before it got leaked to the press.”
I have an entire team to clean up my messes. They are good at it too. They cleaned it up all Olivia Pope-style so there is no evidence of the messed up stuff I do.
Their time could be spent so much better.
If photos and video had gotten out, it would have been really, really bad.
“Thank you,” I say, but I know the words are not enough. They never are.
I’m still in bed. I came straight back here last night after running from Chase.
Max delivered me safely to Kelly, who’d been out of her mind with worry.
She had put me to bed where I had cried until I had passed out.
My head is throbbing this morning, but I’m grateful for the pain. It reminds me I’m still alive.
“This is the last time I’m covering for you, Bayleigh. You fuck this up again, I’m out.” Kelly hands me a fresh bottle of water, which I slug down. I’m so dehydrated.
I feel like shit. Not just physically, with a headache throbbing so hard it hurts to keep my eyes open, but I’ve hurt people. Kelly and Brendon are counting on me to get this right, and I’ve let them down. Again.
“I’m sorry.” My voice breaks as the tears sting my eyes.
Kelly sits next to me on my bed. She doesn’t know about my past or the accident, and in this moment, I really need to talk to someone.
Kelly takes my hand, and I know she will keep this secret stored away with all my other ones. She’s bound by an iron-clad NDA, after all, just like Max and everyone else who comes near me.
“Chase and I used to date,” I start, but shake my head.
“Not just date—we were in love. We’d planned a whole life together.
We were going to take our band to Nashville and make it big.
” I take a breath and Kelly leans forward.
“My little sister, Harper, started playing with us too. She was so talented and beautiful. Then one day, we were coming back from a music festival. I was driving, and I got distracted. It was dark, and the road was winding, and I lost control of the car and crashed.” I can’t hold back the sob that escapes. “Harper was killed.”
“Oh, my god.” Kelly moves closer and hugs me, her support and warmth cracking into my hard shell.
“My parents blamed me for the crash and kicked me out. I couldn’t stay in town after that.
It was too much.” My voice breaks as I tell her my story.
Tears wind down my cheeks, and I remember the pain and anguish on my mother’s face when she found out her baby girl had died.
Her sweet, innocent daughter. And it was her older daughter’s fault.
“I ran away. I didn’t even tell Chase I was going because I knew he would try to stop me.
” I wipe at my eyes. “I knew looking at him would remind me of her, and if I stayed in touch with him, I would never have been able to move on with my life.” So I built this half-life instead.
Numbing myself from the pain with alcohol, drugs and sex.
“That’s why I never wanted to come back here. Seeing this town, Chase. It’s all too much. Then I saw my mother, and she still hates me and blames me. She will never get over that.”
“I’m so sorry, Bayleigh. That is a horrible thing to have to go through. But it was an accident—it wasn’t your fault.”
I hear her words but don’t bother to tell her that I don’t believe her. That I could never forgive myself. I have spent eighteen years living with the guilt and remorse and nothing has ever been able to soothe it.
“Chase found me at the park last night. He saw me and tried to help me, but I pushed him away again. I don’t deserve to be loved. I deserve to be punished.”
Kelly wipes my tear-stained cheek and looks at me.
“You have been in enough support groups and enough therapists’ offices to know you need to take it one day at a time.
Of course you were triggered by seeing your mother.
You slipped up and made a mistake. But this isn’t the end.
You’ve gotten sober before; you can do it again.
Harper would hate seeing you like this.”
I nod and try to refocus. The concert is coming up, and this is still my last chance to redeem myself. Harper would want me to perform. She would want me to live.
“I can fix this,” I swear to Kelly. “I can put my life back together.”
“I know you can.” Kelly smiles at me.
I will do it for Harper.