CHAPTER 2
Katy
F or most of Katy’s life, spinning wheels had been banned in Flussendorf and the surrounding area. When King Steffan had repealed the law five and a half years ago, Katy’s father had promptly bought a flock of sheep and a spinning wheel.
Her youngest sister, Liesl, had been overjoyed to receive care of the flock. Katy discovered an aptitude for spinning, and Adele wordlessly moved into Katy’s position at the front counter of the mill. Now, Katy spent her days spinning as long as she had wool to spin.
The main room of their living space was packed with bundles of wool by the time shearing finished. Many villagers had yet to purchase a spinning wheel, and they brought their wool to Katy since they made a better profit selling it to her than hauling it to the capital. She encouraged everyone who wished to do so; it gave her hope that her father’s purchase wouldn’t ruin them.
Because he wasn’t the type to have savings lying around when an opportunity like the repeal of the ban presented itself, and he thought nothing of borrowing money. Thankfully, Katy’s yarn fetched a high price when her friend Angelika’s father sold it at the market for them.
Some days, she missed greeting her fellow villagers when they came to buy flour, but she enjoyed her spinning, so she didn’t begrudge Adele the front counter too much.
Besides, there was only one person she wouldn’t want to miss, and he hadn’t darkened their door in over five years.
“Katy, Katy, Katy!” Liesl exclaimed as she flew past the dividing curtain one evening in late summer. She had just arrived from leaving the sheep with the night watchman. “You have a visitor!”
“A…visitor?” Mother said weakly from her seat in the rocking chair. “Who is it?”
Katy hoped none of her family noticed the way her breath caught at the announcement. Carefully setting aside her work, she looked at her sister and waited for the answer to Mother’s question.
“Probably Fritz,” Adele snorted from her crouch next to the fireplace. She stirred the evening’s stew in a pot hanging over the small fire. “He’s been haunting the road out front for the last week. I’m amazed he finally worked up the courage to come in.”
“What does he want?” Father, who was home today, leaned over the dining table, causing the long bench to creak in protest. A lock of his straw-colored hair swung forward, but the rest was held back by a leather tie.
“Josef, stop it,” Mother scolded softly. “Fritz is…a good man. And he’s probably…”
Father pounded a hand on the table, his green eyes fierce in his pale face. “He wants to steal my daughter from me, that’s what he wants! Now that she’s proving how valuable she is, he wants—”
“Father!” Katy hissed. “He can hear you!”
She hoped he couldn’t. But if Liesl was announcing his arrival, he was in the building. He could be standing at the bottom of the stairs.
He could be standing on the other side of the blanket- covered doorway.
“I never said who it was,” Liesl cut in.
Katy’s head whipped back around to her youngest sister. Could it be—?
Liesl grinned impishly. “But you’re right. It is Fritz.”
Holding back a sigh, Katy rose from her seat. She should know better by now than to hope. “I’ll slip down and see what he wants.”
“Don’t…stay out too long,” Mother told her.
“Better just stay here,” Father grumbled under his breath.
Instead of replying to either of her parents, Katy simply gave them a small smile before slipping past Liesl and walking slowly down the stairs. They creaked under her feet, time and the mad dashes of her youth finally starting to wear on them.
Fritz was waiting next to the counter, facing toward the front windows while drumming the fingers of one hand on the wooden tabletop. He must have been lost in his thoughts and not heard her approach, because he jumped when she said his name.
“Oh! G-good evening, Katy,” he said, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat and tried again. “How are you doing?”
Her lips curved up. “Quite well, thank you. Liesl said you wished to see me?”
“Ah, yes. Yes, I did,” he said, bouncing a little on his toes. Running a hand over his tied-back brown hair, he continued, “I was hoping you might be willing to, uh, to take a little walk with me.”
Wondering where his usual self-possession had gone, she paused for a moment to examine him. When she and her friends had been almost-teenagers, Angelika had laughed at Fritz’s desire to join the guard at Reineggburg, a castle about six miles from Flussendorf, because of how thin he was. He’d managed to grow a few muscles in the years since then. Lean, wiry muscles, but they were still visible under the short-sleeved shirt that he, like most men in their small village, wore in the summer. She was surprised to observe that said shirt was spotless, as was the leather vest he wore over it. Even his boots had been polished until they shone.
Katy gulped while he was busy staring at the floor. He wasn’t asking her to take a quick stroll down the street. He had come courting.
“So,” he ventured, peeking up at her before awkwardly holding out his left arm, “will you come?”
“Fritz, I—” Would it be dishonest to take his arm? Would it be crueler to walk with him only once, or to refuse him outright?
Would it be so terrible to enjoy walking with him and grant him a second?
When she failed to complete the thought, he began to withdraw his arm, cheeks reddening. “I apologize for my presumption. I’ll just—”
“Fritz, wait.”
She took a deep breath and met his blue eyes, willing him to understand without making her put it all into words. The poor man had wound himself up so much that he was about to bolt, and his eyes kept jumping around instead of staying focused on her. He folded his arms across his chest and tapped his fingers on his biceps while waiting for her to continue.
Taking a step closer, she gently took hold of his arm and pulled it away from his side. “No expectations?” she asked softly.
Fritz settled some at her touch. Taking a shaky breath, he agreed, “No expectations.”
“Then I will walk with you. Tonight.”
He nodded and headed for the door, starting with two long, hurried steps before visibly restricting his stride to something calmer and easier for her shorter legs to match. The song of the frogs along the riverbank increased in volume as soon as the door was open.
Following him into the late evening, Katy looked around at the twilit world. She’d been so busy lately; it had been a long time since she was last outside to enjoy this time of day. Across the river, the horizon was red, shifting through an array of colors before melting into a dark, midnight blue over their heads. A few stars peeked through the velvet sky, but most were waiting for the sun to complete its retreat before showing their faces.
The tension in Fritz’s arm decreased as they walked. Gradually, his gait became more natural, and his tight shoulders relaxed.
The frog song mixed with that of the crickets to make a dull roar, a peaceful sound to Katy. It was not unpleasant to enjoy it with Fritz. Mostly, he was quiet, but when he did speak, he was kind and thoughtful, just as he always was. He might be a tanner from a small village, but Katy was sure the most gentlemanly noble couldn’t be more of a gentleman than Fritz.
Any woman should be honored to be courted by him. And she was.
But a set of twinkling brown eyes brushed against her memories, and the old familiar longing tugged at her heart. Fritz was a good man, but he wasn’t… him .
“Katy? Is something wrong?”
“Hmm?” Looking up, she found Fritz watching her with a furrowed brow. “I’m sorry, I’m afraid my mind wandered away from me. What were you saying?”
He paused, drawing her to a stop next to him. He reached a hesitant hand up as if to brush a stray hair from her face but let it drop without touching her. “I wasn’t saying anything. But your face… Am I making you unhappy, Katy?”
His mouth was turned down slightly, and his dark eyebrows, stark against his pale skin in the dim light, pulled together. What kind of a terrible person was she, to hurt this sweet young man?
It wasn’t as if she didn’t like him. She did; Fritz was the sort of boy the village girls giggled over, and for all her protests to her friends, she hadn’t been immune. He was quite pleasant to look at, and unlike some men, he had a pleasant personality to match. And she knew that in another life, she would have been thrilled to be on his arm right now.
She should be thrilled in this life.
Closing her eyes briefly, she took a deep breath before meeting his gaze, willing herself to smile. “No, Fritz. You’re not making me unhappy. But would you mind if we went back now? Perhaps…perhaps we can try again next week?”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “Of course.”
“Fritz.” She set her free hand on his shoulder. “I mean it. Ask me again next week.” Gazing earnestly up at him, she silently begged him to see her sincerity.
“If you’re sure that’s what you want,” he replied softly, his mouth curving slightly.
She ruthlessly shoved the brown eyes from her mind. “I’m sure.”
~
“Fritz asked you to walk with him?” Babette exclaimed. She clapped her hands, bouncing a little on her toes. Then she narrowed her eyes at Katy. “You didn’t turn him down again, did you?”
Katy rolled her eyes at her friend as she sifted through a barrel of potatoes. “What do you mean ‘again ’ ? This is the first time he’s ever asked me.”
It was Angelika’s turn to roll her eyes. “For all you’re so clever, Katy, you can be really dense sometimes. Fritz has been trying to get your attention since before you turned eighteen. ”
“He has?” Katy’s eyes widened as she spun to face her two friends. “Are you sure?”
Reaching past Katy to grab a handful of carrots, Babette chortled, “If you weren’t so busy pining over that noble, you would have seen it, too.”
“Noble?” Katy said, trying to sound innocent despite the heat spreading across her face. “Which noble?”
“Yes, we get so many of them in these parts. As if you don’t know who we’re talking about,” Angelika muttered. She waved her small fan, trying to find some relief from the heavy humidity. The dark clouds hung low, threatening rain, but the air was depressingly still, not even the lightest breeze stirring to cool them.
Katy negotiated with the stall-keeper for her purchases, then stepped back to let Babette do the same. “Where should we go next?”
“There aren’t many stalls today,” Angelika commented, glancing lazily up and down the main street. As the daughter of a merchant, she had more free time and disposable income than Katy. “Unless you have somewhere to be, let’s visit them all.”
“You aren’t looking for something specific?”
Flipping her fan closed and open a few times, she shook her head. “Not today.”
They resumed their stroll through the market when Babette joined them after completing her purchase. The savory aroma of roasted lamb drifted down the road, making Katy’s mouth water, but she didn’t have money for snacks.
“So, back to that noble,” Babette drawled, tapping a finger against her chin in pretended thought. “What was his name again?”
Katy said nothing, her eyes straight ahead as her teeth ground together. Her friend was baiting her, and she wasn’t going to fall for it .
“Don’t you remember, Katy?” Angelika asked. Her voice was falsely innocent. “I thought if anyone did, it would be you. After all, you were such good friends.”
They knew she didn’t remember. They’d had some variation of this same conversation many times over the last five years. Her friends thought it was absurd that she struggled to give up on someone whose very name escaped her.
Perhaps it was, but it ate at her, the fact that as soon as he was gone, so were his name and face. She should be able to remember.
Her fuzzy memories slid away from her. Why couldn’t she remember ?
“I said yes, all right?” she exploded, pulling her fingers away from her bracelet. “I walked with Fritz. I told him to ask me again next week. Are you happy?”
Her friends both stopped and stared at her. “You actually did?” Babette asked, her eyes wide.
Angelika studied her. “Shouldn’t you be happy?”
“Shouldn’t you?” Katy retorted, whipping around to face her friend. “Or are you going to tell me that you’re happy to just sit back and let your father finish arranging a marriage for you with his friend’s son, whether you like him or not?”
Angelika jerked back as if slapped. But Katy wasn’t finished. “Or do you think I should be giggling and blushing every time a man smiles at me, like Louise?” She flung a hand in the direction of their other friend. “Or that I should jump to marry the first man who asks me to walk with him, like Babette did?”
Ignoring the way Babette’s eyes began to glisten with tears, Katy raged on. “Or should I admit that I was a fool for wanting something I knew I could never have? For longing for someone that I knew would never want me, even if my father wasn’t a worthless drunk?”
By now, most of the eyes in the market were on her, but Katy didn’t notice. Her throat tightened, her breaths faster than normal. “Excuse me for struggling to move on! But at least I’m trying.”
The expressions on her friends’ faces and the quieter-than-normal atmosphere of the market edged into her awareness as her burst of anger faded. Mashing her lips together, she dropped her head and exhaled, frustrated with herself. Pasting on a tight smile, she gave a wave to the market in general and ignored the flush rising in her cheeks. “Sorry,” she called out. “Didn’t mean to disturb you.”
As the market patrons returned to their business, Katy turned back to her friends. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly, pouring all her penitence into her expression. “You know I didn’t mean it.”
“One of your blowups in public? That’s a first for me. I can’t say I look forward to the next one,” Angelika said coolly, crossing her arms over her chest. Babette wouldn’t meet her eyes.
“Babette?” Katy tried. “I know you hoped Emil would ask you to walk long before he did. You didn’t accept him because he was the first.”
“Tell that to them,” her friend sniffed, nodding in the direction of the crowds. She kept her focus off to the side. “They’re the ones you slandered me to.”
Katy could feel her ire rising again. “Would you like me to yell it out to them, then?” she snapped, waving her arm as her eyes flashed.
“Maybe we should just get you out of here,” Angelika sighed. Grabbing Katy’s elbow, she began steering her past the remaining stalls. Babette didn’t follow.
“She’ll get over it,” Angelika said when she caught Katy twisting to look over her shoulder. “It’s a small village; nothing you said was news.” Grimacing, she continued, “Most people just have enough discretion to keep their mouths shut.”
Katy winced. “I usually do.”
Pulling her to a stop, Angelika spun her and stared seriously into her eyes. “I know. But it only takes once, Katy. One of these days, either your temper or your rash behavior is going to land you in something you can’t back out of.”
“I know,” Katy whispered, dropping her eyes.
“I’m your friend, Katy,” Angelika said. She squeezed Katy’s arm and gave her a wry grin. “Even when you blow up at me. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I know,” Katy said again. She reached out and squeezed back. “Thanks, Angelika.”
Linking arms, they began walking again. Katy let Angelika lead, not wanting to go home yet. Closing her eyes, she let the familiar rumbling of the nearby river wash over her and leach away the remaining tension.
“Do you suppose I’ve chased Fritz away?”
“Hmm?” Angelika’s arm moved in hers as she turned to look at Katy. “What, you mean with that display in the market?”
Katy nodded, only half listening to her friend’s reply as she continued to soak in the presence of the Felsig.
“I’m fairly certain he’s witnessed – or at least heard of – worse from you,” Angelika said dryly.
“I meant by what I said about him,” Katy replied, her mouth turning down. “Or implied, by what I said about…” She wished she could remember his name. She hated calling him “the noble.”
Katy felt her jaw tightening. Why did something so simple – yet so important – continue to escape her?
For a few minutes, the only sound was the soft thumps of their feet on the ground, the song of a few birds undaunted by the coming storm, and the ever-present roar of the rapids. Distantly, the low rumble of thunder suggested that they would be wise to seek shelter.
“You know, Katy, I think you need a change,” Angelika announced suddenly. Opening her eyes, Katy glanced over at her friend. Angelika’s lips were pursed, but when she realized Katy was watching her, she smiled brightly. “My father and I are traveling to the capital in a couple of months. You should come with us to help sell the last of this season’s yarn.”
Katy felt her heart lift. While she loved her home, she’d never left it. Faintly, she could hear the call to adventure. To see far-off places, meet new people, experience new things—
Because that had turned out so well for her mother as a young woman when the allure of adventure took her to a festival. It was only after marrying the young man she met there that she discovered his love of drink.
“It sounds like fun. But I don’t know if—”
“Your family can spare you for a few days,” Angelika said shortly. “Someday you’ll get married, and they’ll have to live without you.”
Katy snorted. “Only if I can convince Fritz to overlook my many shortcomings.”
“Fritz isn’t the only man out there, Katy.”
“But none of the others will look at me!” Jerking her arm out of Angelika’s, Katy spun away and covered her mouth, squeezing her eyes to hold in the tears. “That didn’t come out right,” she gulped.
Sighing, Angelika wrapped an arm around her. “Katy—”
“Two years, Angelika,” she ground out. “Two years since I turned eighteen. And Fritz is the first one to ask me to walk with him.”
“Would you have agreed before last night?” her friend gently asked.
“I—what does that matter?” She rubbed the bridge of her nose to release the pressure .
“Men don’t like rejection any more than women do. Why would they ask if they thought they knew the answer?”
“I—” Pausing, Katy considered Angelika’s point. It was surprisingly valid. But it didn’t change the fact that Katy was undesirable. For many reasons.
Angelika shook her slightly. “Come to Himmelsburg with me, Katy.”
The pressure of her tears drained out as swiftly as her earlier anger, but this time, it left her feeling drained as well. Maybe it was the weather.
“All right,” she agreed wearily. “When do we leave?”