CHAPTER 25
Katy
A xel was magnificent. He gave no indication that he had been yelling at his betrothed an hour before the performance. His acting was even better than when he practiced with her at the castle, the responsive audience feeding his character just as it had the previous time she had sat in this theater.
His eyes never sought her out. It might not mean he was upset with her. Maybe his character simply wouldn’t allow it.
Otto didn’t let her look for him after the show. It would ruin everything if someone realized the prince had returned to the theater. She hovered in the castle’s entrance hall for an hour after, but he never came in. When she asked, no one had seen him return.
Why hadn’t he come home yet?
It troubled her all night. If they hadn’t fought, or if she could convince herself that he had been acting, she wouldn’t worry. But his eyes...
He’d lost control.
The next morning found her pacing her sitting room, twisting her hands in front of her waist. She tried telling herself he had returned late and overslept; that was why he had not yet dragged her off to the music room. It was a plausible explanation.
He didn’t even make it to breakfast, an uncomfortable affair with only herself and his parents. His mother alternated between sniffing at his empty chair and glaring at Katy as if she was the cause.
Based on the snippets of conversation that she caught before servants fell suspiciously silent at her approach, everyone in the castle believed she was.
Everyone, including herself.
~
“I thought I might find you here.”
Katy looked up at his voice. Curled up on a loveseat in a corner of the library, she had been absorbed in her book and missed his approach. “Axel.”
His clothes were as perfect as always, but his face was uncertain. Gesturing to the book in her lap, he asked, “What are you reading?”
“A book about sheep husbandry,” she replied, holding it up. “I hoped to find some pointers for Liesl.”
“Ah.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, he looked down at the rug and then out a nearby window. Unsure what she should say to him, Katy watched her fingers as they played with the edge of the pages.
The awkward silence stretched out. Finally, Katy broke it. “You did well last night. I don’t know how Georg could ever compare.” She gave him a small, tentative smile.
“Thank you,” he said quietly. His eyes flicked toward her as he said it, but then they were gone again.
She debated with herself as she continued to play with the book. She wasn’t sure how to deal with a silent Axel, especially when he wouldn’t even look at her. However, surely it meant something that he had sought her out. “I missed you this morning.”
“I overslept,” he said quietly .
She’d never had so much trouble talking to the cheerful, loquacious prince.
“I’m sorry about last night,” he finally said. He peeked over at her. “I let things get out of hand.”
Dredging up a smile, she tried to joke, “Now you know what my blowups are like. It certainly gave you an excuse to flee.”
He chuckled a little at that, but even his chuckle had a downcast air to it. “That it did. Fueled along by my own reactions, of course.”
“I think you were justified.” Setting her book to the side, Katy sat up, lowering her feet to the floor and fitting them back into her shoes. She pushed off the seat and took a couple steps toward him, stopping an arm-length away. “I’m sorry, too, Axel. I never meant—” She paused. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
Yesterday, he would have reached up to play with the loose curls by her face, but today, his hands didn’t leave his pockets. “I’m glad to know that,” he acknowledged.
“Maybe we need to start over again,” Katy suggested awkwardly, holding out her hand. “Hello, my name is Katrin, but you can call me Katy. I heard you sing last night, and I knew I had to come find you.”
The left corner of his mouth tugged up a little. “Axel,” he responded, taking her hand and bending over it instead of shaking it. “It is a pleasure to meet you. I am glad that my humble voice was able to bring you pleasure as well.” He dropped her hand as soon as he was finished.
“It’s almost lunchtime, but I’m not sure I know the way from the library to the dining room,” she teased lightly.
“Shall I show you?” He gestured toward the door with a subdued sweep of his hand.
Katy watched him expectantly. “I believe the next move is yours,” she prodded gently. When one of his eyebrows raised a fraction, she added, “Isn’t the offer of your arm the next step in our meeting?”
At last, a bit of light entered his eyes. Lifting his elbow with something closer to his usual panache, he replied, “As a gentleman, it is. May I have the honor of escorting you to your meal, my lady?”
“You may.”
The other side of his mouth lifted. “Are you sure you are not closer than is wise, my lady? You have only just met me, after all.”
Meeting his eyes, she replied, “I think I’ll take the risk.”
~
The next few days were a new experience for Katy. Like his mother, the prince had a habit of touching the people around him, whether that was a hand on a shoulder or a pat on the back. She still observed the behavior with others. But where before he would play with her hair, brush her cheek, or simply place a hand on hers while escorting her, he now seemed to avoid contact. He escorted her when proper, but he never patted her hand like he used to; she touched him, but he didn’t touch her.
He also stayed more subdued around her. Oh, he spouted off and waved his arms in grand gestures in public, but his eyes didn’t twinkle as brightly as they had before.
It was a pleasant day, with a light breeze drifting through the branches of the trees as she and Axel wandered through the arboretum. Fritz would probably have been in a short-sleeved shirt under a leather vest, but the prince still wore his more formal long sleeves and satin waistcoat. The lighter fabric of his shirt must have been the reason he could stand it. The day wasn’t so pleasant that Katy would have traded her own short sleeves for long.
His sleeve was soft under her hand, but she found herself wishing she could feel the roughness of the dark hair on his forearm instead.
Maybe when they returned to the castle, she should track down her cousin – he’d been unable to trail them today – and claim a hug. She was clearly starved for affection due to her lack of close acquaintances in the capital.
“Is something wrong, Katy?” Axel watched her with concern as she hesitated. Usually, she simply walked up and wrapped her hand around his arm after examining some blossoms up close. This time, she had the strangest urge to grasp his weapons-training-hardened hand instead.
But could she make the first move after he had retreated?
“No, of course not,” she replied as she took his arm, knowing her smile wasn’t quite natural.
They meandered another half hour before he turned them back toward the castle. Katy spent the entire time restraining her hand from gripping his arm more tightly. She’d missed her chance by yelling at him for trying to make her happy; she couldn’t ask for something he no longer wanted to give.
To her relief, as soon as they exited the gardens, she spotted her cousin chatting with another guard. Dropping the prince’s arm, she rushed in that direction. “Otto!” she called out. He acknowledged her with a wave, excused himself to his friend, and began walking toward her. When she was close enough, she declared, “I need a hug,” and plowed straight into his arms.
Otto’s arms closed around her, but she could hear the glare in his voice as he addressed her companion. “What did you do to her?”
“Not a thing,” Axel replied easily. “Don’t you trust me, Otto?”
“I’m fine,” Katy assured her cousin, squeezing him. “I just haven’t had a hug in a while. I needed one.”
He squeezed her back, crushing her ribs for a few seconds before relaxing his hold. “It has been a while since you’ve been home, hasn’t it?” She nodded into his chest. “I’m sorry, Kat. I’m here whenever you need me.”
“You can’t ever leave Himmelsburg, Otto.” Katy fought the ridiculous tears she could feel building in her eyes. “You’re a little piece of home. If I’m stuck here, so are you.”
Pulling back, he set his hands on her arms. He kept his voice low as he looked over her shoulder. “You could make a new home, you know.”
“I know.”
Otto gently guided her back to the prince. The hug had done her good, but sadly, it hadn’t erased her desire for Axel’s hand. She eyed it longingly before placing her right hand in his offered elbow and her left on his upper arm. His muscles tightened at her touch, so she didn’t rest her head on his shoulder like she wanted to.
Why did she want to? She’d never done that with Axel before. She’d never even done it with Fritz.
But it looked so comfortable.
“You’re so kind and understanding, Your Highness.” The voice pulled Katy from her thoughts. Following the direction from which it had come, she found Lady Ilse and two of her friends.
“Thank you, Lady Ilse,” Axel replied with a slight nod. “But to what do I owe such a compliment?”
Lady Ilse flicked her fan open, hiding the lower part of her face as she tittered with her friends. Sweeping it away, she explained, “Being willing to take your peasant girl back. And after such a display, too. Most men wouldn’t stand for it.”
“The argument was at least half my fault,” he protested valiantly, resting his hand lightly on Katy’s for the first time in days. “It is hardly laudable to repent of saying such terrible things to my fair Katrin, and in public, no less. ”
“Argument?” Lady Ilse’s eyes slid sideways as she covered her mouth and nose with her fan again. Following her gaze, Katy saw nothing but hedges beyond Otto. “I was referring to something longer-standing. And more recent.”
Blinking at the lady, Axel quickly covered his blank expression with one of his easy smiles. “Despite your claim that I am understanding, I am afraid I must confess to not understanding at all. To what do you refer?”
Lady Ilse and her friends laughed again, but it sounded forced as they exchanged looks of confusion. She focused to the side once more. “I know he’s supposed to melt into the background, but everyone has seen how comfortable he and your peasant girl are. Surely you saw them five minutes ago.”
Otto’s tongue poked into his cheek as he caught Katy’s eye, fighting the laughter that wanted to escape. She tilted her head questioningly before the realization dawned. The giggles slipped out before she could stop them. Axel looked back and forth between them before his eyes lit with amusement.
Grinning, he turned back to the noblewomen. “I am afraid there has been a misunderstanding, my lady. Allow me to introduce you to Otto, my fair Katrin’s cousin.”
“Cousin?” Lady Ilse’s smile froze.
“Naturally,” Katy replied flippantly. “Do you honestly think I would go around hugging any other man in front of my betrothed?”
“Would you hug some other man not in front of me?” Axel interjected, raising an eyebrow at her.
She squeezed his arm and widened her eyes. “Would I tell you if I did?”
“Come off it, Kat,” Otto laughed. “You can’t lie to save your life.”
But she could hide things. The stranger and his deal were proof of that .
“Thank you for your concern, Lady Ilse,” Axel said, cutting them off. “Please accept my assurance that you need not worry.” He directed his next comment to Katy and Otto. “Shall we repair to the castle?”
Katy waited until they had put some distance between themselves and the noblewomen before lowering her voice and laughing, “Can you believe that she thought there was something between us, Otto?”
“It isn’t that surprising,” he replied with a little smile. “We have spent quite a bit of time together since your arrival. Including plenty of time without the prince.”
“Not to mention,” Axel added, “as soon as I was out of the picture the other day, you snatched him up in my place.”
She elbowed Axel in the ribs. “You know that’s not how it happened!”
Laughing, he said, “Maybe not, but I like my version better.”
As they approached the door that would lead them inside, Axel abruptly said, “You really do miss your family, don’t you?”
“I do,” she replied. She couldn’t help the wistfulness in her voice. “Until I came here, I’d never gone a day without them, except the trip when I met you.”
He nodded, a thoughtful expression on his face, as he stood aside while Otto opened the door for them. “I’m sorry that my father took that from you, too.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
He didn’t reply, only leading her through the door with a nod and murmured thanks to her cousin.
When they reached the library, he lowered his arm. “As usual, this is where I must leave you. Shall I return here when I am finished, or simply meet you at dinner?”
“I could pick out a book and bring it to your study, unless that would distract you,” she suggested quietly, not quite meeting his eyes. Instead of releasing his arm, she took a risk and let her hand slide down it until she could wrap her hand around his. His eyes widened slightly, but one side of his mouth pulled up in a lopsided grin as he tightened his fingers around her own. “Then you wouldn’t have to fetch me, because we would already be together.”
“I like that idea,” he murmured, reaching up with his free hand to brush one of her curls. “I’m headed to a meeting, but I’ll see you there when I get back?”
“As long as Bertram doesn’t bar the door against me,” she joked. Axel smiled, squeezed her hand as he lifted her knuckles to his lips, and then strolled off down the hallway.
Katy watched him go. If she had no choice but to marry him, despite the terrible possibility of the stranger’s words being true, she might as well make the best of it.
Thankfully, she didn’t think that would be too hard to do.