Chapter Twenty-Seven
Judah’s fingers gripped the plastic clamshell container so tightly he could hear it threatening to crack, and he forced himself to relax his hold as Gideon knocked on the door.
“She’s going to kill me for showing up, and she’s going to kill you for bringing me,” Judah warned.
“Twenty bucks says she won’t,” Gideon countered just as the door opened, and Liana’s delighted smile filled the frame.
“Hey!” She rose onto her toes to plant a kiss on Gideon’s lips. “I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”
“Surprise,” he said with a grin, then whipped out the clamshell from behind his back. “And an even better surprise.”
Her eyes widened as she pulled it from his hands. “Ooh, is that carrot cake? That is an even better surprise. If I weren’t already engaged, I would totally marry you.” She was about to kiss Gideon again when she finally noticed Judah lurking behind him. “Well, hello there.”
Judah gave her a tight nod and a quiet “hey,” wondering if he could still escape.
“Ari!” Liana called over her shoulder. “You have a visitor!”
So much for that.
Judah clutched the plastic container behind his back and waited as Gideon and Liana disappeared inside, his heart pounding in his chest, and then there she was, a ribbed white tank top clinging to every curve, black drawstring pants hanging low on her hips.
There was a sliver of skin peeking out between them, and he wanted more than anything to drag a finger across it. Or his tongue.
Finally, he met her eyes—narrowed but not as cold as he’d expected. “Hi, Ari.” He held out the clamshell. “Brought you cake.”
“What are you doing here?”
He let his arm fall to his side. “I was on a date with Gideon, decided we’d bring dessert for the afterparty.” She cocked her head, no trace of amusement on her face, and he sighed. “I came to apologize, and to see if we could talk.”
“Judah—”
He stepped up to her and tucked a wild curl behind her ear. “I’m sorry about the date. I’m sorry that while you’re my dream girl, I’m your … nightmare boy. I really did want it to be good. You deserve everything good.”
Ari stared at him for what felt like a full minute, and finally, she exhaled and stepped aside.
“Get in here and give me that cake.” He promptly did both, taking a seat on the couch while she went to the kitchen to get a fork.
Gideon and Liana had already disappeared into her room and closed the door.
“Seriously,” she asked, “what were you doing out with Gideon?”
“Just getting a beer. I don’t have many ‘get a beer’ friends. Figured I should make one.”
“One who’s coincidentally marrying my best friend?” She arched an eyebrow as she made her way to the dining table.
“No,” he said with a wry smile, “one who’s intentionally marrying your best friend.”
She dragged the fork between her lips, watching him watch her. “Talked about me, did you?”
“I couldn’t say. Gideon was really set on keeping our conversation confidential.”
Her snort was far cuter than it should’ve been.
“How’s the cake?”
“Delicious,” she admitted. “I’m kind of mad you remembered that chocolate raspberry is my favorite.”
“You’re not going to offer me any, are you.”
She took another bite. “Nope. You do not get to have my cake and eat it too.” She swiped a finger through the jelly and sucked it into her mouth.
“You’re so bad,” he said, laughing, not even bothering to hide the effect watching her tongue swirl around her finger was having on his pants. “So this is how it’s gonna be? Because I can handle a little torture.”
“Oh, I believe you enjoy a little torture.” She rested her elbow on the back of the chair and propped up her head. “I mean, that’s what you keep coming back for, right? The torture?”
“Maybe I just like to look at you.”
“Shut up.” There was a trace of amusement in her voice as she said it, but he watched it slowly leach out of her eyes, her smile. She set down the fork. “I appreciate the apology and the cake, Judah, but I think you should go.”
“Please can we talk? Five minutes.”
“What’s there to talk about?” She huffed out a breath. “You tried to make this more than it was, and I told you to stop. Then you tried again, and in a moment of stupid weakness, I said yes. And then we went on the most disastrous date of all time. Doesn’t that tell you anything?”
“Nope. Because here’s the thing,” he said, leaning forward and bracing his hands on his knees.
“I don’t think I am making this more than it is.
I think I’m the one trying to call it what it is.
And the fact that our date was a disaster had nothing to do with us.
In fact, I was having a damn good time until that whole mess, and I think you were too. ”
“Except that whole mess had everything to do with me.” She shoved the cake away and folded her arms over her chest. “Yes, I was having a good time, but that night wasn’t an isolated incident, Hotmusic.
I’m not gonna keep being your dirty little secret just so you can maintain your squeaky-clean image. ”
“I’m not asking you to be,” he said firmly. “You might even recall that I asked you out on a very public date.”
“As if I could forget.”
Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best choice of ammunition.
“I’m sorry I didn’t speak up about those posts, but I’d do it in a second if I knew you wanted me to.
I thought it’d be better for you if I ignored them, but if you want me to respond, you tell me what you’re comfortable with me saying, and I’ll say it. ”
“I’m also not interested in fucking up your career, and I’m definitely not interested in your inevitable resentment over it.”
Her aqua eyes flashed, primed for war. Wearily, he stood, somehow feeling like he was losing a battle he never even knew they were having. “Can you please stop deciding the future before we even try to have one?”
“We can’t make a future out of the fact that I’m the first person ever to give you head, Judah.”
A muffled but still audible “Oh, shit” sounded from Liana’s room, and Ari pulled off one of her slippers and threw it at the closed door.
“Stop eavesdropping!” she yelled.
“Be less interesting!” Liana called back.
“Can we please have this conversation in your room?” Judah asked with a sigh.
Ari huffed but led the way and pointedly closed the door behind him.
“It’s not just physical between us, Ari. You know it’s not,” he said as she took a seat on her bed, crossing her legs. She didn’t invite him to join, and he didn’t expect her to. He leaned against the dresser instead.
“Come on, Judah. You think it’s a coincidence that the one girl you can’t stop pursuing is the only one who took off her clothes for you?”
Judah tried to choose his next words very, very carefully, and he knew the instant he was too slow to respond, because Arielle’s entire expression changed.
“I’m not the ‘only one,’ am I.” The anger in her eyes was replaced with a flash of pain that had him missing the fire, even as he could still feel it singeing his skin. “Wow. No wonder she hates you.”
“Mira has every right to hate me,” he admitted, his throat raw at the admission, “but she and I never—it was after I broke up with her. A last-ditch effort to save something that never had a chance to begin with.” God, how he’d tried to forget that day, and he was still trying now, shaking his head at the memory.
“I guess she thought that’s what I wanted …
but I didn’t touch her. I promise you, I didn’t.
And I didn’t want to. It wasn’t even a temptation; the only hard part of walking out was hurting a nice girl.
But there just isn’t anyone else for me, Ari. ”
Her expression stayed cool, but he’d learned to read her body language in other ways—the way her fingers grasped at her blanket, the way her delicate throat worked as she swallowed.
“That was just one girl.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper.
“You’ve only been with one girl since me, Judah. That isn’t enough to know.”
“Except that there were ten years of girls before you, Ari! Ten years of girls whose favorite cake flavors I couldn’t tell you under pain of death.
Ten years of girls who made me feel nothing, and then one girl who makes me feel everything.
It isn’t just that five weeks apart wasn’t enough to get you out of my head; it’s that no other girl has ever been in there for five weeks.
And I’ve been trying not to read into that, but Gideon’s right—why have I been trying not to read into that when it’s telling me every damn thing I need to know? ”
“Because I’m the one girl out of those apparent millions who led you into a life of sin and debauchery?”
Judah pushed off the dresser and walked slowly up to the bed, his gaze laser-focused on hers.
“Let’s get something straight, Arielle. When I kissed you, it was because I was dying to kiss you.
And when I waited around to kiss you a second time, it’s because I couldn’t even conceive of going home without kissing you again.
” He stood over her, tracking the guarded set of her jaw, the way her teeth nibbled at her lower lip.
“When we took things past kissing, that was me—I put my hand up your skirt.
I showed up at your apartment. That week was my idea.
I took off your shirt, and I asked to see you naked, and I asked to go down on you, and I asked you on a date after everything.