Chapter Twenty-Seven #3
“No way.” Liana crossed her arms and leveled Ari with a glare. “That guy is crazy about her, and she is crazy about him. Are you seriously letting a bunch of losers on the internet keep you from the happiness you deserve?”
“I am letting reality keep me from … whatever this may or may not be,” Ari said with a firmness in her voice she didn’t remotely feel.
“Yes, I like him, and yes, I believe he likes me, but he’s thinking short term, and at some point—and some point soon, because let’s be real about Orthodox Jewish dating in your thirties—the ‘wife’ question is gonna come up, and we all know I am not the answer. ”
“I don’t think we do all know that, actually,” said Liana.
“I think you’ve decided that being a wife means having a very specific skill set that’s somehow beyond your grasp, and that Judah’s going to expect you to be somebody you’re not.
But the guy who just walked out of here knows exactly who you are, Ari.
He’s thirty-two years old; he doesn’t need someone who knows how to pack him lunch or bake challah. He just wants you.”
Ari’s gaze shifted to Gideon, the voice of reason, waiting for him to tell Liana this was none of their business, but he just quietly said, “He really does, very much.”
“And when it puts his career on the line? When his fandom and the media start pulling his life apart?”
“And find what?” Liana demanded. “Oh no, he has a hot girlfriend he adores?”
“You weren’t there.” Ari’s chest squeezed tight as she remembered seeing Judah’s phone light up with comments during their date.
As she remembered Judah seeing his phone light up with comments.
“Imagine if Gideon’s friends not only thought you were a downgrade from Meredith but posted that for hundreds of thousands of his followers to see. ”
“I have so many questions about that sentence,” said Gideon. “For starters, what do these hundreds of thousands of followers tune in to watch me do?”
Liana sighed. “Not now, Gid.” She turned back to Ari.
“You think Gideon doesn’t have friends who like Meredith a thousand times better?
He does. But they’re attached to an older version of him, one they associate with Meredith, and as far as they’re concerned, I’m the final nail in the coffin of him joining a religious cult because they’re pissed he no longer parties with them on Friday nights. ”
“Yikes.”
“To be clear,” said Gideon, wrapping an arm around Liana’s waist, “she’s talking about two guys who are really weirded out by me becoming religious and thinking it was totally out of the blue instead of, you know, sparked by the most important and gutting thing that’s ever happened to me.
Which tells you how much of a shit I give about their opinions. ”
“Anyway,” Liana continued, “the point is, it’s not about you. As long as Judah Klein? was single, he was wish fulfillment. A fantasy. Of course people are gonna hate you for landing him. Think about how you felt when you found out Idris Elba was married.”
“People didn’t hate Mira,” she muttered.
“First of all, they sure as hell did,” Liana countered, “and second of all, I’ve seen all the posts, Ar. There’s not a single moment when Judah ever looked at her the way he’s looking at you in that one shot.”
That mollified Ari the tiniest bit, but it wasn’t enough. “Some of those comments are by people who know me, by people who are happy to drag my entire hookup history out there. You think Judah wants to be famous for being the guy with the slut? You don’t think that’s gonna hurt his career?”
“I don’t think he wants his entire life to revolve around the fringe Kleinatics who want to believe their idol is pure as the driven snow. Who cares what they think?”
“Pretty sure Judah’s manager does. And the guys he collaborates with. A bunch of his wedding clients. His—”
“Point taken.” Liana held up a hand. “But I think he’d choose you over them in a heartbeat, only you’re not giving him a chance to do that.”
“He had a chance to do that,” Ari pointed out. “He could’ve spoken up the night Mira’s whole brigade took my slutdom viral.”
“And said what? What would you have wanted him to say, Ar? To call you his girlfriend? To declare that he was in love with you? You would’ve run for the hills, and you know it.”
“How about ‘Stop being an asshole to my date’? Or ‘Actually, this is a major upgrade, motherfuckers.’”
“Ari.”
“Yes, I hear myself,” she snapped. “But it’s all beside the point.
I know he’s attracted to me. I know he even likes being around me.
But that’s not enough. I can’t go all in on someone who sees me as a backup while they look for the real thing.
With Danny, we knew the score, but with Judah…
” She rubbed her sternum with her knuckles, as if trying to dislodge something from beneath her very bones.
“I’m not doing that with Judah. I’m not keeping him company until he finds the right Mira. ”
Liana looked helplessly at Gideon, who said quietly, “I really, really don’t think that’s what’s going on.”
“Then he can prove that if he wants to,” said Arielle. “I’d like to see him try.”
And as she left them behind in her room to go have a good cry in the shower, she ached with just how badly she meant it.