Chapter 20
Cameron
G uilt ate at Cameron worse than ever before. He couldn’t believe what he’d done last night in front of everyone. He still didn’t know what that guy meant to Sophia, and since she didn’t seem interested in telling him, he wasn’t sure he ever would.
All he knew was that she had hit her breaking point, and he wasn’t sure he knew how to come back from it.
There was one glaring issue with his guilt, however.
He didn’t regret laying his claim on Sophia in the slightest. The crowd that had surrounded them as he tore into that guy who sniveled on the floor meant that everyone who was in attendance knew that Sophia belonged to him. They were an item.
Well, they were.
She hadn’t exactly broken up with him, and part of him wondered if that was what she wanted to talk about.
No. He couldn’t think that way. He needed to believe that she cared for him as much as she said she did. How could she put up with him this far and not?
He had the hardest time focusing on his work, and it was made even worse by the fact that Sophia hadn’t shown up to do her usual work. He lost track of how many times he’d nearly gone in search of her or asked some of the men if they’d seen her.
Heck, he’d almost asked Roman, but based on the less-than-pleased look the guy gave him, Cameron thought better of it.
The horses were doing well. The pregnancies were coming along as expected, and their bloodwork came back normal.
Mateo checked in periodically, but it was Sophia who usually got the full report. At the thought of her, he glanced over his shoulder, expecting to see her crossing over from the house toward the barn. But she wasn’t there.
He frowned.
There had to be something he could do to show her how sorry he was. He needed her to know he loved her. But what could he do?
Words seemed trite at this point. He’d lost track of how many times he’d told her that he was working on improving himself and that he’d do better.
She’d been right. He’d made a promise at that diner that day, and he’d broken it.
His heart sagged in his chest the more he dwelled on his problems. Doing nothing would be worse than biting the bullet and making a fool of himself in whatever way he could come up with.
After his work was done, he found himself in town at a floral shop.
Flowers didn’t feel like they would be enough, but they’d be a start.
He picked out a card, too. It had a cartoon night sky on the front, and inside, it had some silly note about the object of his affection being brighter than all the stars in the night sky.
It reminded him of the night they’d spent cuddled together talking about what was important in life. He traced a finger over the image for a moment, then placed it on the counter and picked up a pen as the florist put the flowers into a vase.
He’d make this right. Nothing could be worse than what had happened at the country club. Cameron had hit rock bottom, and there was nowhere left to go but up.
Cameron paid for the flowers, then gathered them into his arms and headed home.
He knocked on her door, but when no one answered, he situated himself on the porch and waited.
That was the hardest part. He hadn’t thought anything could have been worse than the way she’d looked at him last night, but waiting to see her again in the flesh was utterly terrifying.
What if she still didn’t want to see him?
What if she wanted to break things off?
He couldn’t think that way or he wouldn’t be able to continue waiting for her.
Time lost all meaning as he sat there, stewing over what he’d done. The side of him that believed he’d been in the right warred with the one that wanted to make Sophia happy. The only way to ensure that no one would try that again would be to put a ring on her finger, right?
She wouldn’t accept his proposal right now, though. And part of him couldn’t help but wonder if that wasn’t the solution at all as much as he wanted it.
Cameron heaved a sigh, and his head snapped up when he saw her car come closer to the house. Once parked, three doors opened and Sophia stepped out with her two sisters. Her eyes snagged on him for a moment, and then she glanced at her siblings briefly before nodding to them.
Isabelle and Camilla gave her reassuring smiles before they gathered their bags from the car and headed into the house.
He moved down the steps, the flowers in his hand. “Hey,” he murmured when they were alone.
“Hey,” she whispered back. Sophia couldn’t have been more guarded than she was at this moment. He could practically see the walls she’d erected since the last time they’d seen one another.
How was he going to make this better?
Her eyes dipped to the flowers in his hand, and he followed her attention. Then without missing a beat, he pushed them toward her. “These are for you.”
Sophia continued to stare at them, gnawing on her lower lip. For a heartrending moment, he thought she might refuse his offer. Just when he’d nearly given up hope, she reached for them. Her fingers brushed against his, and she whispered, “Thank you.”
Cameron shoved his hands into his pockets.
He’d never considered himself the type of person who struggled with his relationships.
He’d never had to deal with the sort of raging jealousies that came with caring for Sophia.
Even when his brother had betrayed him by stealing his girlfriend’s affection, his temper hadn’t been this hard to contain.
That was either a good thing or a very bad thing.
She didn’t look up at him, choosing instead to stare at the flowers in her hand.
The only thing he wanted was to turn back time.
If he could go back to before he’d made a fool of himself, he would.
But there was no changing the past. He was at risk of losing her completely if he couldn’t pull himself together.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.
Her eyes lifted.
“I’m really sorry, Sophia.”
She swallowed audibly and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “I feel like I’ve heard that before.”
He flinched, his gut tightening uncomfortably. This wasn’t going to be as simple as an apology, and he knew it.
“I’ve really been trying to be patient.” Her words were barely above a whisper. “I’ve tried to make sure that I’m not contributing to your… issues.”
He grimaced again, and he hated how her words stung him.
She wasn’t wrong. He had issues. There was no denying them.
He ignored the self-deprecating feeling that came along with that acknowledgment.
Heat flared to life beneath his skin, and he couldn’t help lifting his hand to rub at the back of his neck. “I never wanted you to?—”
“Let me finish.” She pierced him with a pleading gaze.
Cameron nodded sharply.
She breathed out a sigh. “I get it, Cameron. With what happened with your brother, I can understand your concerns about losing someone you care for.”
Why did her statement not bring him the comfort he wanted it to?
“But it’s exhausting.”
The statement he’d started returned to the tip of his lips. He didn’t want to put this on her. The fact that he had only made the guilt worse. “I’ll do better.” Would she only hear an empty promise?
She frowned.
“I know I said that before. The problem isn’t with the guys who hang around you. It’s… with me.” He blew out a heavy breath and dropped his hand to his side. “And my brother.”
She opened her mouth as if she were going to reject his claim, but he pushed forward.
“To expect a stranger to have the same tendencies as my brother had when we were younger isn’t fair to anyone involved.”
Sophia’s brows pulled together. Apparently, she’d changed her mind about speaking whatever it was that she’d nearly said.
He stepped closer to her and took her hand in his own. His thumb traced circles on the back of her hand, and he stared hard at the movement as he considered his next words carefully. “If I’m completely honest, I don’t regret what I did—not entirely.”
She tugged to remove her hand from his, but he held fast.
“Sophia,” he said, his heart hammering in his chest. “I feel bad about how I treated the guy… but I don’t feel bad showing people how much I care about you.
We belong together.” He closed the remaining distance between them, pulling her to him by the nape of her neck before he pressed his forehead against hers. “You belong to me.”
The way her body tensed at his words gave him pause. They were probably not the best words to say at this moment, but at least she didn’t argue with him. That had to be a good sign, right?
He drew in a shuddering breath and closed his eyes, reveling in the way she smelled, in the way she felt beside him.
Then he opened his eyes and set them on her with a confidence he didn’t feel at all in his core.
“I know that I’ve made mistakes, Red. More than I can count.
But there is something drawing me to you that I have never been able to shake.
Over the last five years, I compared any woman who wanted to get close to me… I compared them to you .”
Her soft gasp gave him an ounce of courage to continue.
“The bar was high, and I’m not entirely convinced any of them could have come close.
” He searched her eyes, unsure of what he was looking for.
She seemed stunned. Gone was the anxiety, though.
And it almost felt like her walls were cracking.
All she needed was one little shove in the right direction.
“I love you, Red,” he whispered huskily.
Then he leaned down and brushed a feather-light kiss to her full lips. The only solace he had was the fact that she didn’t pull away. She didn’t push him back or hurl insults at him.
But what hurt the most was her utter lack of a returning confession.
He withdrew just enough to look her in the eyes, and all he saw were warring emotions. It was understandable. She didn’t have to return his sentiments with a confession of her own. That would happen in time.
At least, he prayed it would.
Cameron took a step back, dropping the hand he still held.
“Goodnight, Sophia.” With that, he turned away from her and headed to his truck.
He couldn’t stick around in case she chose to officially break things off with him.
His heart wouldn’t be able to handle such a rejection, not after he’d left his heart in her hands to do with as she pleased.
If this experience taught him anything, it was that he needed to focus on controlling his temper. There was too much at risk, and he wasn’t about to lose her over something as dumb as his jealousy.