Chapter 34 #2
“I know it’s hard for you to understand, but it’s not really about whether I want a baby, but more about if I can have a baby.”
“There is no can. We’re having a baby, Trooper, or at least I am. You have a choice in it, but I don’t.”
“I don’t think you understand what I mean.
As a man, my job is to handle shit. If I’m with you, I take care of, protect and be what you need me to be.
All that’s new for me because I’ve never been responsible for anyone but myself.
Now I have you, and not just you. To think about adding a baby to that has me stressing. ”
“But you don’t have to stress. I’m more than capable of taking care of myself.”
“That’s just it. I know you can, but some things are just on me.
My responsibility, whether I like it or not.
My parents brought me into this world and walked away like I wasn’t shit.
It was hard for me, but I survived. I’m not one of those people who walks around with a chip on their shoulder because life wasn’t easy for me, but I know I never want to fuck a kid up the way they did me. ”
“But you won’t. You may not know what to do, but you know what not to do, and that’s leave. You think I have all the answers? I don’t, but the idea of getting it right motivates me to get it right. So is this what you want?”
I tightened my hold on Sophie and lowered my head to her shoulder.
“Yes, but if you don’t…” She stopped and waited for me to give her a response.
“You have to be patient with me. If you can do that I’m here… for both of you.”
“Are you sure?” She searched my face, looking for any uncertainty.
I wasn’t sure if it was there or not, but I damn sure felt it.
“I’m sure.”
I placed my lips against hers and kissed her like I had done in my head for the past two weeks. I’d missed that the most and took full advantage.
“I missed you too,” she said softly after she had ownership of her lips again.
“Word, show me then. Take these off.” I tugged at her sweatpants with a smug grin.
My dick had been hard since I stepped off the elevator. I wasn’t about to pretend I didn’t need to feel her.
“Is that the only reason you came back?”
She now stood in front of me in the process of stepping out of her clothes.
“You know better than that,” I said as she pulled her T-shirt over her head and tossed it onto the floor. Now she stood before me naked and sexy as ever.
I was about to be a father. I damn sure never saw that coming.
Nothing about her body had changed yet and I tried to imagine what it would look like.
Not because I thought it would change how I felt or the way I wanted her, but simply because that would make it more real.
Other than the test she took, right now there were no signs that she was carrying my kid.
“I hope I do,” she replied before she moved closer to unbuckle my jeans.
I leaned back as far as I could, kicking off my shoes in the process.
I took over and worked my way out of them before Sophie climbed onto my lap.
She leaned in and kissed me while I grabbed her ass and worked my hands up her back, pulling her tightly against my chest.
At that point, I was so hard it damn near hurt. I was ready for Sophie to fix that for me, which she did by lifting her body and sliding down slowly until I filled her completely.
“It’s only been two weeks, Sophie. You look like you can’t handle it.” I smirked at the intense look on her face.
She sucked her teeth and began a slow grind against my body.
Even though I was the one talking shit, I wasn’t going to last long either.
Everything about Sophie just felt right.
The way she arched her back and her teeth sank into her lip.
The way she mumbled my name when I reached the deepest part of her, and right now, the way her eyes were on me, begging me to make her feel good. I planned to do just that.
Her head fell back, extending her neck, so I leaned forward to suck it, which made her grind faster and hard as she moaned my name.
That was all I needed. I took over and guided her movements while I thrust deeper inside her and massaged her clit.
That was her weakness; she wouldn't last long.
I needed both of us to get the first one out of the way so I could put in real work. Now, all I had to do was concentrate.
I leaned in and started sucking her neck again before I bit down on her shoulder.
“Cum for me, Sophie. Let it go, baby.”
Her body jerked when my lips touched her ear, and she fell against my chest, sliding her arms under mine and behind my back. I picked up the pace and used my free hand to grab her ass since the other still rubbed her clit. She let me know she was ready.
“I’m… I’m… Oh fuck.”
“You good, Sophie.” My eyes locked on hers as Sophie’s hips rotated against my body. I held her in place and guided her motions as she pressed her hands flat, firmly against my chest, letting her head fall back again.
She was gone the second I slid inside her, but being on the verge of cumming, she was totally out of it.
A smile spread across my face once I had control, and every time she tried to lift herself to get relief, I held her in place, pressing her deeper into my lap.
She gave up, closed her eyes, and let go.
“Fuck, Sophie.” I knocked her hands from my chest and pulled her into me.
My teeth sank into her shoulder again and I gently bit and tugged on her skin, which, of course, didn’t help either of our situations. Within a matter of minutes I felt my orgasm building and I moved faster.
We were on the same page because she held me closer, burying her face into my neck, and moments later, we came together. That was the first of many.
It was late as hell and Sophie and I were in her bed after a few rounds throughout the house, dinner, and a finale.
Sophie and I made up for lost time, and she was currently down for the count. I lay awake thinking about everything, trying to wrap my brain around how my life was about to change. The more I considered the idea of being a father, the more restricted I felt.
I slid away from Sophie, careful not to wake her, then headed to the living room. Dressed in only a pair of boxers, I searched her closet and found my stash.
Once I had it, I grabbed my phone and made my way out the balcony to call the one person who could keep me grounded.
I dialed and placed my phone on speaker next to my blunt and waited. It had been a while since I’d talked to Story so I wasn’t sure if the phone I supplied him with was still functional.
The guards raided their cells every so often and took all their shit and I had to get someone to smuggle in a new one for him. I made sure to do that so he had access to things. It was important to help keep him sane.
“It’s late, Troop. What’s on your mind, son?”
I chuckled as I fired up the blunt dangling from my lips and leaned back in the metal chair on Sophie’s balcony. I was convinced it was expensive, but it was uncomfortable as hell.
It was chilly out with a slight breeze flowing through, but it felt good. The city below me was moving but quiet, aside from the hum of the vehicles traveling the streets.
“So much shit I don’t even know where to begin,” I admitted.
I planned to make a call to him weeks ago, to set up a visit for Sophie, but then the baby situation happened and I never reached out.
Story laughed. “You’re alive and well, so whatever it is ain’t that bad. You wanna talk about it or you just wanna talk?”
He never pushed and I appreciated that. Some days I had a lot of shit on my mind and we’d talk for hours about anything but what I was going through. After I hung up, it was like I had all the answers, even though I never once mentioned what the problem was. Shit just worked like that sometimes.
“She wants to meet you.”
The line went quiet for a minute before he spoke again. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“She does and she’s not the type who lets people tell her what to do.” I smiled just thinking about it. If I didn’t set it up for her, Sophie was liable to show up there on her own with a court order demanding she be allowed to see him.
“When?”
“Soon, that’s up to you. Just let me know.”
“Whenever she’s ready. How is she?”
“Pregnant.” I had no idea why I let that out, but he would eventually have to know.
“Pregnant?” he repeated for confirmation. “And how do you feel about that?”
“I feel like I fucked up.”
“Did you tell her that?”
“I handled it all wrong, but she’s giving me a chance to fix it.”
“I see.”
“It’s a lot, especially for me.”
“I understand, but I hope you understand the blessing in it. There are no guarantees in life but there’s the potential for a lot of regrets.
Don’t make the same mistakes I made. My regrets far outweigh anything else in my life.
I can’t change that, no matter how much I wish I can. I should be an example for you.”
“Ay, some things are out of your control. You can’t control what other people do.” I knew what he was getting at. Letting Sophie go was fucking with him, even if he felt like he did it for the right reasons.
Story chuckled. “You’re a good man, Trooper. I trust you with my life and hers. I have no doubt you’ll find your way.”
“Shit, I didn’t know I lost that muthafucker.” I laughed and so did he.
“Most of the time we don’t realize it until we wake up in the middle of chaos like how the fuck did I get here?”
“You’re right.” I nodded and inhaled slowly, held it in, then released the smoke.
“Get some rest and I’ll be seeing you soon.”
“You too, old man, and yeah, you will.”
I leaned back and closed my eyes. Like it or not, I had to step up. I had my reservations, but it wouldn’t stop me from trying. I just prayed I could handle it.