Chapter 50
FIFTY
I always imagined this day. From the first moment I stepped foot into the Saint Valley academy, to today. This place holds a lot of memories, some good, some bad, overall, it’s been one hell of a ride. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
It’s our graduation day.
I graduated at the top of our year, much to Soren’s pretend dismay.
He thinks I didn’t see right through him, but I knew immediately he got lower scores on the exams so that I’d get higher ones.
My pride was wounded for a while, but on a deeper level, I’m thankful.
He sacrificed his own pride to let me win, and that speaks volumes.
Soren is with the boys on one side of the booth. He’s drinking, chatting with them, but his eyes are on me at all times. He doesn’t look away, the intensity of his gaze makes me giddy for the moment we’re finally going to be all alone.
“We should throw a party,” Grace says, sipping on wine.
I look away from Soren, glancing at her with a raised brow. “As opposed to the one right now?”
She rolls her eyes. “I mean a proper party, only the closest friends.”
“Alright, anything in mind?”
Avalon chimes in. “How about we finally make use of that castle of yours?”
I grin. “Perfect!”
“Where’s Lila?” Avalon asks, and I glance around, trying to spot the head of pink hair, only to come up empty.
“The church.”
With a sigh, I take a sip of my drink. I never got the chance to talk to Lila about everything regarding her past. With everything happening with Cassia and Soren, there was never an opportunity when the two of us were alone.
However, I did talk about it with Grace.
She’s known about it for years, and all I needed was Grace’s assurance that Lila isn’t some hardcore bully.
If Grace believes her, so do I. She’s been nothing but kind to me, and when Grace showed me legitimate evidence of Lila’s innocence, I dropped the subject and decided against speaking to Lila about it overall.
“Uh, Soph?”
Avalon’s voice breaks my train of thought. I turn to face her, lowering the empty glass on the table. She glances behind me, then her eyes turn back to me. She steps closer, lowering her voice to a hushed whisper.
“Sawyer’s here.”
Immediately, I spin around, completely taken aback. My parents were here already, taking pictures with me, and bringing me graduation gifts. However, it’s been two hours since they left, and I didn’t think I’d even see Sawyer anytime soon.
He’s wearing his best suit, carrying a bouquet of red roses in his hands.
He spots me, then starts walking in my direction until he reaches me.
He’s a couple of steps in front of me, and my entire body goes rigid.
I’m on high alert because the man standing in front of me is not the same boy I grew up with.
I no longer recognize him, and I don’t want to give him any weakness to exploit.
“Sawyer,” my voice is icy-cold. “What are you doing here?”
“These are for you,” he extends the flowers, and with a suspicious gaze, I take them. “I came to congratulate you on your graduation, Soph.”
“Why?”
“Because…” he steps closer, glancing behind me.
As if on cue, Grace groans when she’s being pulled away by Avalon, hating that she won’t be able to listen in on the conversation.
Once we’re alone, Sawyer looks back at me.
“I’m sorry, Sophia. I’m truly sorry for hurting you, and I know it’s too late.
But I am hoping that one day, you’ll be able to forgive me. ”
“Oh, I’ve forgiven you,” I chuckle. “But that’s all I did, Sawyer. I forgave you for my own peace of mind, not yours.”
He swallows thickly, hurt flashing through his eyes. The same emotion pierces through my chest, but I force myself to keep my head high. He sighs, rubbing his temples, while trying to get a grip on his composure that seems to be faltering with each passing second.
“So, that’s it, then?” He chuckles, the bitter sound filling my ears. “There’s no way for us to be close again?”
“I no longer trust you, Sawyer. Once I stop trusting someone, it’s done. I can’t trust you again, because there’s no point. I’ll be civil with you and Astrid at family functions, of course. I’m not some ill-mannered person, but that’s where my kindness starts and ends.”
“I lost you,” he concludes.
“You did,” I nod. “It’s not the fact that you are with Astrid. It’s the fact that you betrayed me, and it took you months to properly apologize. I’m writing you out of my life, Sawyer. We’re related by blood, but you’re no longer my family.”
“Sophia,” his voice almost turns pleading. “Please.”
“Don’t beg, you’re a Sloane. Begging is for the weak,” I retort, gripping the roses in my hands tightly.
“Maybe, one day, in the future, you and I will be able to talk without me hating your very existence. Until then, don’t talk to me.
Don’t contact me, don’t even try to be within the same vicinity as me unless necessary. ”
Sawyer swallows, but nods nonetheless. “Alright. I’ll respect that. But I am sorry.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry, too.”
Sawyer casts one, last lingering glance in my direction, and as soon as he turns around and walks away, it’s like a piece of me is leaving with him. It hurts terribly, but I know that I’d resent him even more if I forced myself to have a relationship with him.
So, I’m letting go of what’s hurting me, and focusing on my life.
Because the best chapters of my life are just starting.