Chapter 19 #2
The next photo was taken a few months later.
Alec is laughing at something his father is saying, but I’m standing next to him, staring off into space.
I remember that day. That was the first time Alec hurt me.
We had been arguing over something stupid, and he shoved me into the door before storming off.
He apologized straight away, and I believed him.
No, I wanted to believe him so fucking bad.
I flip through photo after photo, each depicting the span of my relationship with the boy who would be my downfall.
The last picture was taken two weeks before the accident.
I had been feeling off for a few weeks and wanted to stay at home in bed, but Alec insisted we go camping with his friends.
We argued. He won, the evidence clear in the photo of my split lip and the ring of bruises around my arms that match the ones I’m sporting today.
After spending three days being humiliated and embarrassed in front of his friends, I was done.
I couldn’t handle his coercive, toxic brand of love anymore. It was slowly killing me.
A banging at my door drags my attention from the picture. I toss it on the table, move the box from my lap, and walk over to the window.
Spying Katy, I open the door and grab the bags she immediately shoves into my hands.
“You haven’t eaten yet, have you?”
I shake my head. “Oh, good. I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I just got the works. Everyone loves a cheeseburger, am I right? Well, unless you’re a vegetarian. Shit, you’re not, are you?”
I smile at her babbling and shake my head. I adore burgers.
I freeze when Banner steps in behind Katy, his eyes moving over me in a predatory way as Katy continues to talk.
“Phew, it dawned on me earlier that all I remember you eating from before was salads. You were always on some kind of diet.” Banner tilts his head curiously, knowing I’ve never been anything but slim. But slim was never good enough for Alec. He needed me to be skinny.
Katy takes the bags back from me and heads to the kitchen. I look at Banner as if to say What are you doing here?
He grins. “I told you I’d give you space. I didn’t say how much.”
I roll my eyes and follow Katy into the kitchen, where she shoves a now-full plate into my hand.
She does the same with Banner before sitting at the table with her own plate of food. She takes a huge bite of her burger as I watch on with amusement.
“So good.”
Banner pulls out the other chair for me to sit in, leaving him to stand. He doesn’t seem fazed by it all. He picks up his burger and starts eating too.
They’re both acting as if this is all perfectly normal, which it absolutely is not. I sit there, feeling like I’m having an out-of-body experience, when Katy looks at her watch and starts cursing.
“Shit.” She stands. “I didn’t realize the time.
I’m supposed to be meeting Casey to help her with…
a thing. I can’t cancel it now. It would be rude.
Banner will stay and help. You do whatever needs doing, won’t you, Banner?
” She doesn’t give him a chance to answer before she kisses my cheek, then his, and runs out the door, taking her burger with her.
Well, fuck. Hurricane Katy strikes again.
“She’s not exactly subtle, is she?” Banner grins.
I nod to the door with my head, telling him he should go.
“Yeah, that’s not happening.” He takes another bite of his burger before noticing I haven’t touched mine. “Eat. I’ll help you with whatever you need afterwards.” I look at the burger, then back at Banner and sigh. Why do I even bother with the stubborn asshole?
We sit and eat in silence. Banner never takes his eyes off me the whole time, unnerving me with his intensity.
I manage to eat most of it, but with my stomach churning, I don’t want to push my luck. I slide the plate away. I stand and grab two Cokes from the fridge, hoping he’ll leave when he has finished eating, but also hoping he’ll stay.
I hand him his drink before I start cleaning up. It isn’t until I realize how quiet it is that I turn back around and notice he’s wandered off.
I hurry to the living room, coming to a stop in the doorway, when I find him staring down at the photos I have spread out on the coffee table.
I brace myself for what’s to come. It’s too late to hide them now.
He doesn’t move for the longest time as his eyes rove over the photos that tell the story of mine and Alec’s ill-fated relationship.
Banner’s eyes move over them again and again, burning them into his memory before he stops on one and frowns.
Bending down, he picks it up and looks at it closer. I don’t need to see the photo to know which picture because his whole body goes rock solid before rocking backward as if he’s been punched.
I take a step back, remembering the last time he lost his temper. I don’t get far. Instead, his arms band around my waist, stopping me from going any farther. He isn’t hurting me. I can tell he is trying to be gentle. I don’t fight him—I just stop and wait.
He turns me to face him before looking deep into my eyes. He takes the hem of my T-shirt and pulls it up over my head, tossing it on the sofa beside him. He looks at my arms before looking down at the photo in his hand.
“Alec marked you?”
I don’t answer. I don’t know how to, but my silence speaks volumes.
“More than once?” Again, I don’t answer, but I know he can read the truth in my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I glare at him. Is he kidding me? He left. When the fuck would I have told him?
“This is all so fucked-up. I don’t even know what to do with this.” He stares off into space for a minute before turning back to me. “For the longest time, I was so mad at you.”
I swallow, feeling his pain as if it were my own.
“You shouldn’t have been driving out in the storm.
There were weather warnings all over the place telling people to stay inside.
My parents said you’d been arguing and that you took off.
And that Alec was worried about you, so he jumped into the passenger seat, yelling for you to stop.
If you hadn’t been out in the storm, you wouldn’t have lost control of the car.
If you hadn’t been drinking, your reactions would have been faster, and Alec might still be alive.
So many shoulda, woulda, coulda moments. ”
His words hit me harder than any fist ever has. He trails his rough fingers over the purple blotches on my arm, his gentle actions making my heart ache.
“But he hurt you and, suddenly, nothing makes sense anymore. Because if he’d lived, I’d have killed him myself,” he snarls.
He lets go of my arm and cups my face with both of his hands. “I didn’t know, I swear, or I would have stopped him. I would have done something. I—”
I shake my head at him sadly. Nobody knew. And looking back, if I had spoken up, I’m not sure anyone would have believed me.
“I’m sorry, Sorrow. I…Christ, this is a fucked-up mess.” He steps back from me, and straight away I feel the cold.
“I’m just gonna go. I need a minute to process it all.” He gave me just that earlier, and now it’s my turn to return the favor. I nod, rubbing my hands up my chilled arms.
He turns and walks away without another word.
I hear him open and close the door behind him, but I don’t make any effort to move from my spot.
A part of me is glad he’s gone. Just like him, I have a swirling mass of shit inside my head to deal with.
But the bigger part of me, the lonely part, wanted him, just for once, to stay.
I jump when there’s a knock at the door moments later and rush over to open it. I swing it wide and there he is, standing on my doorstep looking like every bad boy fantasy I’ve ever had. Something in me breaks wide open.
“You came back,” I choke out, stunning us both.
“Baby, I never left.”