Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
SORROW
“I’m pretty sure you just went the wrong way, Arlo.”
“Huh? Oh yeah. I’m kidnapping you.”
“Interesting. Did you not want to tie me up, though, first?”
“No, I trust you not to escape.”
“You trust me? Aw, you’re too kind. I have to ask, am I the first girl you’ve kidnapped?”
“What? Oh no, you’re not my first.”
“Bummer. I’m your favorite, though, right?”
“Of course.”
“You’re so sweet. Well, if it helps, you’re a great kidnapper.”
“Really? That helps a lot, actually. If you had to review this experience out of five, what would you give it?”
“Five being the best one?”
“Yeah?”
“Oh, totally five stars, would recommend.”
“Okay, phew. I wasn’t sure if I needed to growl a little more or something. It’s harder than you think, you know? It’s not like you can just take a kidnapping course.”
“That’s true. You are so brave, Arlo, for forging your own path.”
“Thank you, Sorrow. I feel like you really get me.”
“Bless you. Well, I’m free next Thursday if you want to kidnap me again. You know what they say. Practice makes perfect?”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Of course. I mean, what’s a little Stockholm Syndrome between friends?”
It’s quiet for a beat before we both turn to look at each other, grinning manically, before we dissolve into fits of laughter. This was precisely what I needed after that ugly scene in the courtroom.
“Thanks, Arlo.”
“I told you I got you. Though I really am kidnapping you. I figured we’d spend some time with Matilda and the kids. It’s hard to be sad around that bunch. Oh shit, I never thought about the baby—”
I reach over and squeeze his arm gently.
“It sounds perfect, Arlo, thank you. And I don’t want to avoid doing things or have people worrying about what they say around me because they’re worried it will trigger a sad memory of my baby.
I’m more worried about my baby being forgotten altogether.
She deserves to be remembered. I never made it far enough to get a photo or hear her heartbeat for the first time.
My memories of carrying her for those few precious weeks are all I have.
Yes, it hurts to remember, but it hurts more to forget. ”
“You’re something special, Sorrow. I’m sorry shit went down the way it did, but I’m glad you found your way back to us.”
“Us?” I tease. “I thought I was dating Banner. I don’t have nearly enough daddy issues to add you to the mix.”
“Brat. I mean us, your family.”
“If you make me cry…”
“You’ll tell Banner, and he’ll kick my ass?” He smirks cockily. This is when I remember Banner telling me that this man is somewhat of a savant in the ring.
“No, I’ll tell Matilda that you hate her baking.”
His mouth drops open as he looks at me. “Wow. You think you know a person.”
I laugh loudly in his face, as we drive up a twisted driveway to the beautiful house on the bluffs.
“Wow. I loved this place as a kid. I always thought it was a place where princesses lived.”
“They do.” He winks at me before climbing out and walking around to open the door for me. He offers me his hand and helps me out before walking me to the door.
Before we can knock, the door opens, and Matilda is standing there with an apron on and a smudge of flour on her face.
I look up at Arlo, who smirks at me. “Yeah, it takes a little while to get used to.”
“Get used to what?” Matilda asks, taking a step back.
“To having Matilda Carson open the door to us like it’s a normal, everyday thing.”
She laughs, making me want to pinch myself because, holy crap, it is like being around royalty.
“What are you guys doing here, anyway? You okay?” She aims the last part at me as she closes the door.
I sigh, feeling stupid now. “It just got to be too much. Living through it once was more than enough. I couldn’t—” I swallow, choking on my words. Arlo reaches for me, but Matilda beats him to it, surprising us both by wrapping me up in a hug.
I hug her back gently, remembering someone mentioning to me that she’s not a huge fan of being touched, though she’s a lot better now than she used to be.
Pulling back, she looks at me in a way that makes me feel like I’m the only person in the room. “Trust me, I get it. What’s cannon fodder for everyone else are pieces of your life.”
I nod, fighting back tears. She gets it better than most, and I’ve only experienced a fraction of what she did with the media.
“Come on, the cupcakes should be done soon. The kids are in the den watching Moana.
“Ooh, I love Moana.” Arlo rubs his hands, bursting into song before heading off to find the girls.
“You need help with anything?”
As if on cue, the sound of a baby crying comes from the baby monitor sticking out of Matilda’s apron pocket.
“Any chance you can grab Juni while I finish cleaning up?”
“Um, sure.”
“Thank you. She’s on the second floor, second door on the left.”
She heads back to the kitchen before I can say anything else.
I swallow and head upstairs. The closer I get, the louder Juni’s cries become.
I push the door open and briefly take in a nursery, wondering why they have one when they don’t have a baby of their own.
But then, having a guest nursery is precisely the kind of thing Matilda would do.
I know that, and I’ve only just met her.
I walk over to the crib and see Juni wriggling around, her red face looking angry as she cries.
“Hey, pretty girl. What’s got you all upset?”
I lift her into my arms and can tell straight away how full her diaper feels.
I carry her over to the changing table and spy the little basket filled with diapers, creams, and wipes.
Laying her down, I strip her down and clean her up before putting her in a clean diaper and redressing her.
Picking her up, I can’t help but feel a tightening in my chest at the thought of what could have been.
Tucking her under my chin, I rub her back as I carry her carefully down the stairs to the kitchen.
“Here, take a seat and give her this.” Matilda hands me a bottle, so I sit at the table and adjust Juni so she’s lying in the cradle of my arms. As soon as I place the nipple against her lips, she starts sucking, making me grin.
“She’s adorable.”
“That she is. Can you imagine what Blake will be like when she hits high school?”
I look up at her with wide eyes. “Fifty dollars says he tries to send her to a nunnery.”
She starts laughing as the timer goes off. She turns it off and grabs the cupcakes from the oven, placing them on a cooling rack.
The sound of footsteps running toward us has me turning toward the doorway in time to see Zoe and Mia come running in.
“Slow down, you two. They need to cool down a little before we can frost them anyway.”
Zoe lets out a big, dramatic sigh before she spots me. “Hey, Miss Sorrow. Mom says you can talk now.”
I smile and nod. “I found my voice just when I needed it.”
“That’s awesome.”
“Thanks, Zoe.”
She turns back to Matilda. “Do we have time to watch another movie before we frost them?”
“How about you get Uncle Arlo to help you build a pillow fort?”
Zoe’s eyes go wide for a second before she spins on her heels and takes off for the den with Mia hot on her heels.
“If I could bottle her energy, I’d make a fortune.”
“Katy was always the same way. Can you imagine what it must be like to have twins, or triplets, for that matter?”
“I can imagine, and it makes me want to nap thinking about it.”
I chuckle as I look down at Juni, whose pretty eyes stare up at me without a care in the world. “I bet it all feels worth it, though.”
“Yeah, I bet it does, too.”
Neither of us says much after that. When Juni finishes her bottle, I place her on my shoulder and gently tap her back.
“You’re a natural.”
“I babysat through high school. I guess some things are hard to forget. When I found out I was pregnant, I was so scared. I wasn’t ready to have a baby.
I was so close to escaping a life that was slowly killing me, and I just knew a baby was going to blow all that out of the water.
I was terrified of turning out like my mom. ”
She sits down at the table beside me, her elbow on the table, her chin in her hand.
“I didn’t know what I was going to do. I was worried I’d mess her up, worried the Bannerman’s would try to take her from me.
I knew if they wanted her and fought me over it, they’d win.
So much was happening, I never realized how much I wanted her until it was too late.
For so long, I thought losing her was my punishment for not loving her from the moment I knew about her. ”
“Life doesn’t really work that way. I think we all feel guilty for things that are out of our control.
It’s the nature of the beast. I know there are a million things I wish I’d done differently, and if I had, maybe the outcome would have changed.
But if Marley hadn’t saved me, I’d be gone, and Zoe wouldn’t have the family she deserved.
I know if he were given a second chance to make a different choice, he wouldn’t change a thing.
” She wipes at a stray tear. “I know it’s not the same thing with you, but what-ifs don’t help any of us. ”
Fingers on my face make me jolt, my hand moving to slip protectively around Juni. But when I don’t feel her on my chest, I panic, my eyes flying open and colliding with Banner’s.
“Juni?”
Banner leans to the left so I can see Blake with his daughter sleeping over his shoulder.
I press a hand to my chest and let out a relieved breath. “I nearly had a heart attack. How did it go?”
He opens his mouth before closing it again.
“That good, huh?”
“No. I mean, yes, it was good because it was blindingly clear to everyone that you were framed.” He tugs me to my feet before stealing my seat on the sofa and pulling me down into his lap so he can hold me.
“My parents’ lawyer tried to paint Stephenson in a light that none of us saw coming. Um…” He licks his lips as if trying to figure out how to say the next part.
“They painted him as a jilted lover, didn’t they?”
He looks at me in shock. “You knew about them?”
“My mom mentioned it back when she kicked me out. Something about how she wished I’d died instead of my dad, and how the chief could have me as he had such a hard-on for her.
She said he might as well take the younger model, since she wouldn’t downgrade for him again.
There was a bunch of other shit said, but I pretty much figured she’d been with the chief at some point.
Whether that was a fling or something more serious, I didn’t know, and I don’t care. ”
“They tried to imply there was some doubt regarding your paternity,” he tells me softly.
I look at him to see if he’s serious before laughing. Looking around, I see my bag by Felix’s foot. He’s at the end of the sectional, talking to Callie.
“Hey Felix, can you grab my wallet from my bag and throw it over to me, please?”
He looks like I just asked him to lick a live wire. Instead of doing what I asked, he hands the bag to Callie.
Callie looks at me and rolls her eyes. “What is it with women’s handbags that freaks men out?”
“They’re intimidating. Men can’t keep track of their phone, keys, and wallet when they only have pockets. Women could survive in the wild for days with the contents of their bags. Especially a mom bag.”
“What the fuck is a mom bag?” Felix asks.
Olivia walks past and slaps his head. “Language. To answer your question, a mom’s bag has a little of everything.
Mine, for instance, right now has tissues, wipes, pens, a coloring book, snacks, money, drinks, a portable charger, allergy meds, Band-Aids, and painkillers for both adults and kids.
Discount coupons for half a dozen restaurants, spare underwear for both adults and kids.
” She winks. “Tampons, Pull-Ups, nail clippers, my Kindle, and a tooth because a certain someone lost their tooth in the park yesterday and the tooth fairy didn’t get a chance to come and collect it yet, thanks to staff shortages.
” She glares the last part at Wade as I duck my head and laugh.
“Holy crap,” Banner mutters, but Felix shakes his head.
“See, this is why I don’t mess with a woman’s bag.
Nobody needs that much stuff, and who carries around teeth, apart from serial killers?
” he teases until Olivia smacks him in the face with a cushion before throwing me my wallet.
While everyone laughs about the dangers of a woman’s bag, I rummage through my wallet until I find what I’m looking for and pull it out.
“Here. This was my paternal grandmother before she died. Her name was Margret Sorrow.”
“Wait, her maiden name was Sorrow?”
I show Banner the photo and nod. “Obviously it changed to Wells when she married my grandfather. I’m guessing my parents called me Sorrow to honor her.”
“Well, fuck. You’re her doppelganger.”
“Right? Honestly, though, it wouldn’t have mattered if it had all been a lie and the chief had been my father. I’d have still disliked him. Sharing blood with someone means little to me. What does it matter if we throw one more fucked-up parent into the toxic pot?”
“I expected you to be freaked out. I won’t lie, but I forgot who I was dealing with, huh?”
“The queen of compartmentalizing? In my next life, I’d like to come back as something more exciting, though. Maybe the queen of coffee and mayhem.”
His warm laugh makes my stomach flutter.
I lean into him, letting the reminder wash over me that there might be fucked-up shit to deal with out there—like there always is—but in here, with Banner and everyone else, life goes on.
Nobody outside these walls deserves any more of my time or happiness. I’ve already given enough.
“You ready to go home?”
I look up at Banner and nod. “My place or yours?”
“How about our place?”
My mouth drops open. “Are you asking me to move in with you?” I whisper.
“Yeah, Sorrow, I am. I want to fall asleep beside you every night and wake up inside you each morning.”
“How could I refuse an offer like that?”
“So that’s a yes?”
“Yes, Banner. I’d love to move in with you.”