Chapter 14 #3
She presses on my shoulder until I reluctantly turn to face her.
“Wrong.” She rests a hand upon my knee for balance, as she turns herself about in order to lower her bottom onto the low step, so that we’re sitting side by side.
“I didn’t want my heart getting pummelled.
It hurt enough when I learned you were gay.
Dylan, I’ve had a stupid crush on you for as long as I can remember.
I didn’t want to be assigned to you because I didn’t want to follow you around like a forlorn puppy for the night, knowing that you were completely unattainable.
Even if you weren’t gay that would have been awkward. ”
The idea of her mooning over me tickles my slumbering sense of humour.
There wasn’t a single smidgen of affection in her when I think back over our first meeting.
She threatened to freeze me solid with her polar stare.
The disconnect between reality and what she claims tugs at the edges of my mouth, and drags out my smile.
“So you were a bitch because you were hot for me? And I guess you were doubly pissed off to walk in and find out I was shagging somebody?”
“It wasn’t the best foot for us to start off on, but I was determined to be professional. That’s all I had to fall back on.”
“And was it still professionalism driving you when you decided to give me a handjob in the car park while there was a crazy shooter on the loose?”
She gives me a sly glance. There’s a touch of pink across the ridges of her cheekbones.
She’s not proud of that moment, but nor I think would she do anything differently given the time back.
“I’d ascertained that you weren’t at immediate risk, and my timely distraction helped you deal with the trauma. ”
Yeah, there’s no denying it shunted my attention in a very particular, non-gun-related, direction. Actually, Kira Carter-Wells might be the biggest distraction my world has ever known. “What now?” I ask.
Her shoulders hunch together. “With regards to Adam, or us? Both of those things kind of depend on you. I hope you’ve sense enough to cooperate with the police to lock Adam away, as for us… I saw your reaction after the earful you got from that kid in the ho—”
“You heard that?”
“Dylan, it’s my job to look out for you. Of course I heard it.”
“You knew I was going to leave when I asked Johns to take us to All Stars HQ.”
She delicately nods. “Having a girlfriend doesn’t feature anywhere in your life plan.
You identify as gay, and there’s no reason why you’d ever choose to step outside of the nice cocoon you’ve created for yourself within that community.
I get it Dylan. We’re not meant to be. We never were, which is not to say I didn’t hope, or that I wasn’t hurt, or that I haven’t spent an ungodly amount of time cursing you. ”
“You cursed me?”
“A lot.”
“Spilled actual tears?”
She casts me some serious side-eye, whereupon I raise both brows quizzically. I know I’m not really helping matters, but part of me needs to know all the facts to better quantify exactly what our relationship entailed.
“Maybe a few,” she eventually confesses.
“But that’s my problem to deal with. Like I said, I knew what I was getting into.
I knew you weren’t for keeps, and that the best I could hope for were a few good memories.
” It’s hard to hear the resignation in her voice.
She’s already decided we’re over. “Dylan, I know we can never be more than two people who fucked as a sort of experiment.”
Is that the truth? I honestly don’t know. Maybe we could be something more than that. Maybe in a parallel universe we are so much more than that. It’s odd knowing that it’s my choices keeping us apart, and at the same time sitting quietly and allowing the inevitable to happen.
She’s right, we can’t be. I can’t be the man she needs me to be. It’s just not that easy to change your spots.
I stand, and stick my head out into the rain, using the deluge to mask the hot tears rolling down my cheeks.
“Dylan?” She looks up the length of my body.
I shove my hands deep into my trouser pockets and hunch up my shoulders. “I think I’m ready to go home.”
“Oh. Okay.” Up she rises beside me.
In her heels she’s almost my height. The wind catches her hair and blows the strands across her face. “Do you want me to see if Johns is available to drive you?”
I shake my head.
“Dylan, I’m not sure you’re in any state to be driving yourself.”
My alcohol consumption barely amounts to a few sips, but we both know that’s not really the issue. I’m too distracted to concentrate on something as meaningless as traffic.
“Do you drive?”
She tips her head right, and peers at me along the length of her nose. “Me? Yes, I do.”
“And you drove here?”
She nods.
“Will you take me home, Kira?”
For a breathless moment I imagine she’ll refuse. Then she nods, and links her arm with mine. “Yes, I’ll take you home, Mr. Drake. Do you need to say goodbye to the hosts, or we good to just slip away?”
I’m sure Dare will forgive me. The party is still raging, but Falchard has made him aware of the incident. “Let’s just leave.”