Chapter Twenty-Two
Sky
I nibble on the KitKat I got from the vending machine as I leave the library and make my way back to Lamb Hall. The temperature has dropped significantly in just a few weeks, and I shiver as my steps crunch on the fresh fallen leaves.
I hope Ruby has the radiator running. I’ve become accustomed to the rattling it makes, finally sleeping soundly through the rumble it makes when it turns on and off. I’ve become accustomed to grounds, too, able to weave my way through the quads without looking up. I can even make it to all my classes with time to spare now.
And I think I like it here.
I mean, there’s the food, for one. I think I’m giving whoever restocks the vending machine a run for their money with the way I make it spit out candy bar after candy bar. Not to mention all the options for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
I’m sure Ruby thinks I have a binge eating problem—actually, I know she does because she said so. Even though it’s really just that I was never allowed carbs and sweets at home. And that’s another thing. Ruby. I never would have been friends with someone like her back home. For one, my father would have never allowed it, and two, I think I wasn’t ready to have a friend like Ruby. Someone who always speaks their mind no matter how brash the words may be.
There’s been moments when I want to tell her about Chase, something in me aching to not be the only one holding my grief, but I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t believe me. Just like everyone else.
But that’s another thing I like here.
No one knows.
I’m coming to terms with the idea that my father may have inadvertently done me a kindness. It was far from his intention, but I’m more than grateful.
I’m also coming to terms with the fact that I’m never going to see Cade again. I don’t know how in the span of a month, in a school of eight-hundred, I haven’t crossed paths with him once. He’s never come back to my room, he doesn’t come to the food hall for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, and I never find him studying in the library—a place where I’ve been spending a lot of time.
He’s still all I think about, like a splinter in my finger that just won’t budge, but I’m realizing if I stay busy enough, I can ignore the discomfort.
I think that’s where the library comes in. Part distraction, part habit.
But I’m perfectly fine. It’s not like I’m obsessed or anything.
I finish off the chocolate just as I let myself into Lamb Hall, shoving the wrapper in my bag. There’s a few girls on the velvet chaise, huddled around Britney. I skirt past her before she notices me, and make my way up the stairs. It’s bad enough that I have to deal with her sneers in the showers in the morning. The last thing I want is to catch one before bed. I was right when I thought I drew a line in the sand, with me on Ruby’s side, because it seems that if you aren’t on their side, the only few left are Ruby, Lana, and Callie.
Which is honestly fine with me. I know now how shallow people can be. I had all those so-called friends back home, but none of them were actually friends when I needed them. If I have just one good one, I’m happy.
When I drop my bag by the end of my desk, Ruby sits up from her bed and sticks her hand out expectantly. I roll my eyes and bend over, reaching into the side pocket of my bag. I don’t know when we got into this habit, but it’s annoying.
“Here,” I grumble, and hand her my last Twix.
“Thank you very much,” she says, and quickly starts to make work of it.
“That’s the last one,” I tell her. “Whoever restocks is trying to push the granola bars.”
“Well, good on them. They probably know you’re one more transaction away from diabetes.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “I don’t eat that many.”
“Yeah?” She takes a bite from her candy and nods towards the waste bin. “You wouldn’t call that ‘many’?”
I flinch when I see the little wire basket overflowing with wrappers. Maybe I do need to cool it.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought.” She smirks.
I ignore her and find a pair of warm sleep pants to change into, leaving my jacket on. The radiator can only do so much for a California girl. I’m about to flick off the light when Ruby props herself up.
“You aren’t going to brush your teeth, Barbie? Shouldn’t go to sleep with all that sugar coating them.”
I scoff, used to her digs, and click the light off.
“No. Are you?” I mock as I pull the comforter back.
“No, but I’m not the one who’s also been wearing a jumper that hasn’t been washed for a month straight.”
My bottom lip falls open, and I turn to see her shrug in the dark.
“Just saying.” She turns away from me. “You sure are attached to that thing for it being a lost and found piece.”
Okay, I have a minor obsession.