Chapter Thirty-Three
Cade
I t’s not late enough for the girls of Lamb Hall to be tucked into their beds, but I’ve had a day, to say the least, and all I care about is making sure Sky is safe. The anxiety that’s gnawed at me since the moment they drug me away from her has manifested into rage. I don’t have it in me to wait in the shadows. I need to see her.
Now.
I’m met with shrill gasps from a group of girls in the common room when I storm through the main doors. My hair and clothes are soaked from the torrent downpour outside, and my hood is low over my eyes. I assume I look exactly how I feel. Murderous, unhinged, and impatient.
I drip onto their plush red rug and tug my hood down, hoping to spot Sky amongst them. Whispers break out as they take me in, realizing I’m not a mass murderer.
At least, not yet .
I hear my name out of a few mouths, passed around like a scandal, but I don’t seek the source. I’m scanning for bronze hair, fair skin, and angel eyes. But the girls before me are all weak imitations.
I growl and stomp past them. Their whispers follow me up the stairs, but I don’t give a fuck what they think. They can spread their rumors or tell their housemother, but I’m seeing Sky.
With every step, my rage builds, and I start taking two at a time. What if she’s not in her room? What if he came for her while I was stuck with Rutherford and my mother? My boots rattle the iron spiral and clang around me like an omen.
I spent most of the forced dinner with my mother trying to figure out who would be sick enough to paint their face and go after Sky. Names flitted in between each of my mother’s fake bites. Bentley. Caleb. Henry. It was the only thing that distracted me from the way she finished every plate that was set in front of her. It was a show for my benefit, but I’m not stupid. We both knew where that meal was going to end up. And yet, she still had the audacity to lecture me about getting help.
It doesn’t matter though, that’s a war I gave up on a long time ago. The only thing that matters now is that Sky is safe in her room.
But when I push open her door, I’m met with an empty bed.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
Ruby Pelling gawks at me from her side of the room, like I’m crazy.
“Where’s Sky?”
“You can’t just barge in here.”
I’m already on edge, coupled with my hatred for Sky’s mean girl roommate, and any patience I had left evaporates.
“Where. Is. Sky?” I stalk across the room to tower over her.
I may not have been able to slice her throat before, but now my mind is just chaotic enough to do it. Fuck the mess, fuck the witnesses roaming the halls. I already have to worry about skull fucker. If I can eliminate Ruby, that’s one step closer to Sky enjoying her last year alive.
This juvenile cruelty ends now.
I whip out my knife.
The pupils of her scathing eyes go large, morphing into fear. Gone is the English snark she started with, the regret so potent I can taste it. I lick my lips. This is what I’m going to miss out on at graduation. No one will be the wiser that they are about to die. No one will look at me with regret. No one will fear me.
“Cade,” Ruby’s voice cracks as she scrambles back against the wall.
“Where is Sky ?” I flip the blade free.
Her eyes dart between me and the open door, but I doubt any of the selfish girls in this place will come to her rescue.
“You really are psycho!” She starts to tremble, but holds her chin up, trying to conceal it.
I smile, a crooked thing that tastes like poison, but I can’t help it. Yes , I am psycho. I spend so much energy trying to hide it, to not get caught, to bide my time, but here and now, it’s on display, and it feels liberating. I want to drench the room red and bask in it. Because maybe I’ve had it wrong all this time. Maybe I don’t need to go out with a bang. I can take just one, this rotten one that steals Sky’s happiness, and call it. I can just as easily slice my own throat after hers. It would feel so good to finally be done.
I lunge for her, but she throws herself to the left. It’s a valiant effort, and I snarl, as if her tiny frame can compete with me. I wrap a hand around her bare ankle and wrench her towards me. She shrieks and kicks at me with her other leg. I dodge it easily. She’s too short compared to me, too weak.
It’s barely a struggle to pin her to the mattress and clamp a hand over her mouth. I use my body to hold hers down, and bring the knife to her throat. Its sharp edge poised at her straining tendon. If she moves, she dies, and as if sensing this, she goes rigidly still.
“Not so tough now, huh?” I shake my head. “It’s all just so much fun talking shit until someone bigger comes along.”
Her eyes don’t flash in understanding, and I lock my jaw, agitated that I have to explain. But it’s imperative that she gets it before I kill her, least she be surprised by hell’s welcoming party for her.
“You fucked with Sky, my Sky, and that’s fucking with me.” I seethe over her, feeling the hot breath from her nose on my knuckles. “You think you’re special, untouchable, that you don’t have to answer for your cruelty. Well, newsflash, princess, there’s always someone meaner, stronger, and crazier. And you’re looking at them.”
Terror leaks from the corner of her eyes, but she still looks confused, brows crunching together.
I shake her. “You shit on people! You break people down! And for what? So you can feel better about yourself? That’s what it comes down to, right? That’s the problem with our world. Everyone needs to feel like they are on top, but no one is better than anyone. And that false hierarchy thrives in this shit hole. It breeds it. But I’ll damn myself making sure you parasites never get free. I’m doing the world a fucking favor ending your toxic existence.” I arch my elbow up, ready to drag my knife across her throat. “And to think you could have had more time if you just told me where Sky is.”
“I’m right here.”
I freeze, whipping my head around. Sky is standing in the doorway, clutching a towel at her chest, hair wet and plastered around her shoulders. Her eyes are wide, warring with confusion and panic.
“Sky…” My shoulders sag, and my vision blurs.
I’m at a loss for the sudden tears that pool in my eyes. I don’t cry. Not anymore. But seeing her washes away the rage so quickly that I can’t keep up. She’s like a blanket of snow on a rooftop, falling on the hot coals of my anger. I thought… I really thought… But she’s okay.
And she’s a sight too. All flushed from a steamy shower, just a towel away from naked. I’m transfixed in relief and wonder, lost in the way she slows my heart rate.
Her eyes dart between me and the hand I have clamped over her roommate’s mouth, and then to the hallway behind her. With a jerky movement, she shuts the door, closing the three of us in, and the spell is broken.
“What are you doing?!” she hisses, voice filled with alarm and despair.
Ruby whimpers behind my fingers, and I blink away the tears, coming back to the fact that I’m one flick away from nicking her artery. Reality sets in, hard and cold.
I’ve fucked up.
There’s no coming back from this. Ruby will go right to their housemother, who will go right to the headmistress. The headmistress will go to either Rutherford or the sheriff. I’m not sure which first, but it all ends with me being chained to Briarcreek.
And I’m not going back there.
I sniff and tighten my hold, resolve coursing through me as I look into the eyes of the girl I’m about to kill.
I’m doing the right thing, anyway. The only thing worth doing. Sky deserves this. I can cut my plans short for her.
“She hurt you,” I say, hating how hoarse my voice is. “You’ll get a better roommate when she’s gone.”
“Cade…” Sky’s feet creak on the floorboards.
“You’ll get a whole life once we’re gone.” The tears start again, and I choke on a sob. A fucking sob. I’m disgusted with myself.
The sooner I get this over with, the sooner it will all be over. I’ll be gone, and Sky can live past graduation. It’s perfect actually. Now I won’t have to look at her every day and have the guilt eat my insides. The paranoia will cease, the pain will cease.
I. Will. Just. Cease.
“I don’t want a life without you.” Sky comes beside me.
I laugh, turning to look at her. Her words are a catch twenty-two, and she doesn’t even know it.
“You won’t have a life with me,” I tell her.
Hurt flits across her features, and my chest cracks open knowing I’ve caused it. I have to grind my teeth and remind myself that she doesn’t know.
“Just let me do this for you.” I turn away, back to Ruby, unsure if I can do what I have to under Sky’s confused expression.
And now my hand is shaking. Fuck. The blade dances over Ruby’s throat. I squeeze my eyes shut, willing myself to get it together. All that planning, all that work, and in the beat of a minute it has become nothing, coming to an end here, with one petty kill under the gaze of the first person I don’t hate. If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t think twice of spraying them with the blood of their roommate.