Chapter Fifty-Six
Sky
T he sun will make everything better. It will shine and bring everything back to life. Blooms will peek at the golden rays and open their sleepy petals to let the light in. Warmth will seep beneath skin and thaw veins. It will heal. It will save him .
That’s what I thought.
But it’s been weeks now, and the snow has melted into puddles, and Cade is still not okay. I thought, stupidly, that making us spend Christmas Eve with his mother could bridge the gap between them, that maybe their relationship was the cause of his decline. She genuinely seems like a nice person. And not fake nice like my father, but truly kind. If not a bit…broken? But if anything, that night seemed to have broken him . He’s become a shell, only smiling when our gazes meet, a weak upturn of his lips that softens his eyes and pulls the pin on the grenade that my heart has become. He looks at me like there’s a timer in my soul. A tick tick tick of a bomb that he fears will explode.
I’ve even begun to feel like I’m waiting for something. I’m jumpy, holding my breath, bracing for impact. The only time it ebbs is when Cade wraps me in his arms, when we’re so melded that even if a bomb did go off, we’d die together. He holds me like he’s trying to shield me and consume me at the same time. I give him everything to try and nourish him. I let him cling to me in hopes he will realize that I’m not going anywhere. And I cling back, that irrational feeling of waiting for a hammer to fall making me scared of losing him.
But where are we going?
“You should go look,” Ruby says.
We’re sitting on the fountain with Lana, Callie, and Bobby. There’s just enough sun left to make it worth it, and Britney has taken over the common room, anyway.
“I’m not sure I even remember where it is,” I tell her.
I’ve only been to Cade’s shack once, and I wasn’t exactly in the best state. And I probably shouldn’t have even brought it up. It just slipped out as I was contemplating where he was, and now everyone knows. I didn’t say he slept there, just that he sometimes hangs out there. Still, I feel bad about revealing his secret spot.
“How far out could it be?” Ruby flicks at the loose ice that floats in the fountain. “Just go get him. Your moping is making me almost as sick as those two.” She tosses a sliver of ice at Callie’s back.
“Hey!” Callie spins around, finally unlocking her lips from Bobby’s.
If I had known what I was encouraging between the two of them, I’m not sure I would do it again. They have become inseparable, kissing at every opportunity and giving PDA a new meaning. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were each other’s first kiss and are making up for lost time. I’m not as offended by it as Ruby is, though. It’s all very tame, just a series of pecks over and again, goo goo eyes, and hand holding. If I’m being honest, it’s actually kind of amusing. Bobby turns red after every kiss, never seeming to get used to his new reality.
“Leave them alone.” Lana scoops up a piece of ice and chucks it at Ruby. “You would be the exact same if you had a boyfriend.”
“I would not!” Ruby fishes for more ice.
Soon enough, ice is flying everywhere. It goes down my shirt, melting at the under wire of my bra, and Bobby sputters after a piece lands in his mouth. My hands are freezing as I scoop and strain little crystals, flinging them at Callie and Lana. Somehow it’s become me and Ruby against them. Bobby tries to shield Callie, thoughtfully choosing not to hurl ice at girls, but he’s smiling all the same.
We’re sopping wet and shivering within minutes, running towards Lamb Hall for the fireplace in the common room. Britney sneers at us, and Ruby shakes out her hair like a dog, misting her.
“You fucking bitch,” Britney shrieks.
“Oh no, the wicked witch is melting.” Ruby gives a faux pout before huddling us towards the stone behemoth where hot logs crackle.
“Ughhh!” Britney pushes off the sofa and stomps up the stairs.
We all cackle as we warm our hands, and my heart swells. I never had this much fun with my old friends. The only thing missing is Cade. My smile falls. This could have been the exact type of thing he needed.
It doesn’t take us long to dry off, and I swirl my hair into a low bun as I inch towards the doors.
“Where are you going?” Callie playfully smiles, like she knows exactly where I’m going.
I bite my lip and give a shrug, giddy at the idea of surprising Cade.
“Don’t get lost, Barbie,” Ruby flops onto the sofa. “If you aren’t back by lights out, I’m sending a cavalry.”
I roll my eyes and slip out into the setting sun.