Chapter eleven
Eisa
I should have awoken pleasantly sore, my mate wrapped around me, and a dull ache between my legs.
Instead I woke to my body attempting to kill me.
At least, it felt like that. A stabbing, throbbing ache had taken up residence in my abdomen sometime during the night, and it felt like my internal organs were trying to claw their way out of my body using nothing but blunted spoons.
I sat up, my breath catching as a wave of pain almost made me double over again.
“What is it?” Arik’s voice was rough with sleep as his hand found the small of my back. Heat radiated from him, and it momentarily soothed the jagged edge of pain that had taken over my consciousness.
When my only reply was a whimper, I felt him shift in the bed, his voice an urgent growl as he sat up. “What is it, Kjaere?”
I shook my head, not sure what was happening. Warmth pooled beneath me, but I didn’t think it was the remnants of our lovemaking as I trembled and tried to breathe through the pain.
Arik ripped the furs from the bed and cursed. There was blood all over me, staining the sheets red. I couldn’t see a weapon or feel a wound to staunch the flow, and I reached for Idunn in panic. Can you find the wound?
She hissed in pain, recoiling inside me. There is none.
Arik cursed again as he scooped me into his arms in a fluid movement, his face ashen in the dull morning light as he carried me to the bathing chamber that adjoined our room.
Another wave of pain throbbed across my abdomen as Arik turned on the water that poured into the copper tub.
It hurts. Idunn’s voice was a hiss of pain through my mind as she hunted for the source of the injury. What is this human stupidity? Why does your body bleed, drageling?
“Fuck.” Arik lowered me into the tub, blood and all. My teeth chattered in the water, which made no sense. I was freezing, but the water filling the tub around me was definitely warm. “Where are you hurt, Eisa?”
I could feel him channeling Baldur’s power in an attempt to heal me, but I was fairly certain this was not an injury even dragon magic could fix. The pain radiated out from my abdomen, and I knew what it must be.
I shook my head and curled around myself, wrapping my arms around my legs as I dropped my forehead to my knees. “I think it’s my cycle.”
Arik swore, one hand testing the water as the other scrubbed over his tired face. “Shit, I thought we had more time.”
It hadn’t even occurred to me to be worried about such a thing.
I’d only had my monthly bleeding a few times before, likely because I was too thin and underfed for my body to risk losing so much blood.
The few times it had happened, it had been barely noticeable, and it hadn’t hurt nearly this much.
Hearthmother save me, it fucking hurt now.
“I thought the drage couldn’t have children?”
“We can’t.” Arik soothed warm water over my knees and arms. “But you still have a human body. Revna told me her cycles are horrendous, but I hoped you might be spared.”
I was in too much pain to care about the sound of our door crashing open as both Branka and Jorgen came barreling into our room.
“Arik?” Jorgen demanded, at the same time Branka’s panicked voice called, “Eisa?”
“In here,” Arik said, his fingers combing soothingly through my hair as the tub continued filling. He shifted in front of me, hiding my naked body with his.
Idunn and I let out a simultaneous whine of agony, and Arik gave my scalp a comforting squeeze.
I glanced up enough to see that Jorgen and Branka had thrown on whatever clothing they’d stumbled over as they’d rushed from their room.
Branka was mostly covered to the tops of her thighs in Jorgen’s shirt, but Jorgen was far less covered.
It looked like he had tied Branka’s trousers around his waist in a sort of makeshift loincloth.
“This is certainly a choice,” Arik drawled.
“You’re one to talk,” Jorgen panted. Arik was completely bare, but I didn’t have it in me to notice how Branka was reacting. “You’re alright, Eisa?”
“She woke up covered in blood,” Arik answered for me as I replied with a whimper and dropped my forehead back on my knees. His voice was steady, but I could feel his pulse hammering in panic. “She thinks it might be her cycle.”
Jorgen made a noise of understanding, and I could practically hear the uncertainty in his voice. “Ah. Right. Well.”
“Oh, get out of the way,” Branka commanded as she knelt beside Arik. Idunn purred in relief at the warm pressure of her hand as she placed it against my lower back. “Why is she in so much pain if it’s just that?”
“Fuck if I know.” Arik’s hand momentarily left my head, and the water stopped. The pain had eased a fraction, but I was still too cold despite the steam rising from the water. “Maybe because of whatever makes her bleed so easily.”
“Come on, love.” I heard Jorgen sigh. “Let’s leave them to it.”
“I’m not leaving her.”
“Arik will take care of her, love. Just like I’ll care for you when your blood comes. This is a matter for mates.”
“Yes, I’m sure men are experts at handling monthly cycles.” I felt her give my neck a squeeze. “You shout for Bryndis if you need anything, okay, Eisa?”
I nodded, tilting my head to blink at her in confirmation.
“Gods, you’re so pale.” Branka’s face was a mask of worry. “Are you sure we can’t help?”
Jorgen groaned from the door. “Love, I beg you.”
“Maybe send for a healer.” Arik’s hand returned to my back, and blessed soothing heat eased the pain another fraction. “Just in case.”
Branka nodded as she stood. “I’ll fetch the servants, too. She’ll need rags and towels, and the bed will need to be stripped. And she’ll need to eat if she’s losing so much blood.”
“Thank you.” Arik’s eyes were on me as he said it, but Branka nodded anyway, offering me one last weak smile as she followed Jorgen out.
He stroked my hair again, and I suppressed a shiver. I know you’re still cold, Kjaere. As soon as the bed is stripped, I’ll get you warm again, I promise.
Is the cold normal? Even mind to mind, talking was a challenge between the waves of pain.
I know little more than you, Kjaere. Arik turned the hot water back on to add some more heat to the still-steaming tub, his voice apologetic. We’ll have to figure it out together.
I nodded again, closing my eyes against my knees as I weathered the storm raging in my body. It felt like Idunn’s claws were trying to scratch their way out of me, but she was suffering just as much as I was, her soul thrashing violently.
Baldur wrapped his mind around hers in an attempt to offer comfort.
We should shift, she suggested. My body will not bleed.
The relief would be temporary. Baldur’s voice was anxious. If it is her human body that bleeds, then it would begin again as soon as you shifted back.
Then we should stay in dragon form forever, Idunn whined.
I was half inclined to agree with her if it would end the torture.
You would break the tub, Baldur countered.
Worth it, she hissed.
More sounds of shuffling came from our room. I heard Branka’s voice ordering around servants and making demands as if she, rather than Arik’s mother, were the queen of Stormhold.
“You’re lucky to have her,” Arik murmured, his lips pressed to the top of my head. “She’s a good friend.”
I’m glad she’s with Jorgen. Speaking aloud was too difficult with my teeth clenched against the agony, and I felt wholly pathetic.
Of course my cycle would decide to return after years of nothing at the most inconvenient time, when Arik was counting on me to save face before his parents and his father’s court and act like I wasn’t made of glass for once.
I don’t need you to act in any way, Kjaere.
I could hear the frown in Arik’s voice as he added some more hot water to the tub, drowning out the sound of the small army of servants Branka had commandeered to our room.
And it’s not inconvenient. It’s natural.
I’m guessing that’s why Baldur can’t heal you.
You know what I mean, I insisted, too focused on my pain to care about my unguarded thoughts. You’re the one having to deal with the misery of being in this place. The least I could do is not—
Kjaere. Arik’s voice was firm as he tilted my chin up to meet his eyes.
They were the usual stony gray, but a hint of silver at the edges of each iris told me Baldur was near the surface.
I need you to believe me when I say I’d abandon this entire mission and fly you back to Ironholm right now, if that’s what you needed.
I blinked as my eyes burned, and his hard gaze softened.
I don’t care about my father or his court or the damned Book of Chaos right now. He swiped a tear that had escaped unbidden, brushing my cheek gently with his thumb. You are the only thing that matters. Let me take care of you.
You did that last night. I’m not sure I’m up for another round. The joke came out weakly, but I caught the telltale twitch of lip that told me it had landed.
He pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. You’re a menace.
A knock at the door interrupted us, and I adjusted my arms over my breasts lest I scandalize a servant.
Arik growled protectively as Branka poked her head in.
“It’s just me, you overgrown watchdog.” She rolled her eyes as she entered the bathroom, her arms full of linens. She was fully dressed in her drage leathers as if ready for battle. “I have dry clothes and towels, and some rags for the bleeding. Ready to get out?”
“I can help her,” Arik insisted, standing to take the linens from Branka.
She stepped back, keeping a firm hold on the fabric as she scowled at my mate.
“No offense, Dragehersker, and I mean this with sisterly affection, but sometimes a girl wants there to be a little mystery in a relationship.“ Branka looked at me, frowning at the crimson water and my shivering form. “Dealing with the intimacies of one’s cycle is one of those mysteries.”
Arik looked at me, a brow raised in question and his jaw tight. What do you want, Kjaere?
Honestly, I didn’t care who helped me. I was in so much pain I doubted I’d be able to stand on my own. But I could tell that Branka needed to feel useful, so I nodded and shot her a grateful smile. “Thank you.”
Arik pressed a kiss to my temple and made for the door, still completely nude. Branka kept her eyes pointedly on me as he passed. “I’ll be right outside when you’re done.”
For the love of the Hearthmother, please put on some clothes, I begged as he closed the door behind him.
I heard his answering chuckle over our mental bridge.
“Right,” Branka said, placing her pile of linens on the counter and picking up a fluffy towel. “Let’s get you dry, shall we? And you can tell me what horrors I’m in for when my own cycle arrives in a few weeks.”
It took the better part of an hour to get me out of the tub and dry, what with the violent shivers that racked my body. But Branka was right—there were some things that I didn’t particularly need to share with my mate, and trying to stuff rags in my undergarments was one of those things.
It was like my body was evicting twelve years’ worth of blood that I hadn’t shed when I was beaten and starved by Henrik, and I supposed I should thank the Hearthmother that my body was well enough now to allow such a thing.
“I don’t understand why we even need to have a cycle if we can’t have children,” Branka groused as she pulled a clean nightgown over my head.
I was perched on the lip of the tub, too shaky to stand, and it took some effort to shimmy the fabric over my thighs.
“Bryndis says we should just stay in dragon form and avoid the whole thing.”
I laughed as much as I could through the throbbing pain, which was increasing the longer I was out of the heat of the bath. “Idunn says the same. I’m beginning to agree with her.”
“Jorgen says they’re less frequent than human cycles.” Branka rubbed my arms as she pulled a fur around me. “But he knows about as much as Arik does, which is to say, nothing.”
“I heard that.” Arik’s voice was only slightly muffled by the wooden door between us.
“Mates.” Branka rolled her eyes at me in a long-suffering way. “Revna might be right about us being the worst.”
“Thank you,” I said, catching her hands to stop her as she reached for the door.
She turned back to me, her brow furrowed. “For what?”
“For being here. Helping me.” I sucked in a pained breath, wincing as another bolt of agony lanced through me. “I’m sorry that I dragged you away from Jorgen.”
“Eisa.” Branka bent so her eyes were level with mine. “There’s literally no place I’d rather be. Or, rather,” she grimaced apologetically, “there is, and it’s naked underneath my mate, but I’m happy to be here. With you. You’re my friend and my sister.”
“Oh gods, my mental eyes,” I protested, trying not to picture Jorgen in his makeshift loincloth.
Branka grinned and stood. “See, you’re already feeling better. Alright, guard dog, she’s all yours.”
Arik appeared before me, wearing trousers but nothing else, and scooped me into his arms. “Thank you, Branka.”
“You two. You are made for each other.“ Branka squeezed Arik’s shoulder as she passed. “The healer should be here within the hour. I’ll await your orders, Dragehersker.”
Still not used to that, Arik said as Branka left. The servants had come and gone, and the room was dark and peaceful as if nothing had happened.
I snuggled into the heat of Arik’s chest, wishing I could have him pressed against my lower back and my abdomen and every place that hurt.
Arik chuckled as he strode toward the bed, which had been made up with fresh sheets and blankets. We can arrange that, Kjaere. But first, you need to eat something.
“Stop listening to my thoughts.” My voice sounded weak and raw, and my teeth were still chattering as Arik settled me back onto the pillows and tucked the furs up around my chin.
“Stop shouting them at me.” He sat on the edge of the bed and reached for a tray laden with steaming dishes on the table next to the bed. “Here. This will help.”
I took about four bites of the rather runny porridge before my stomach decided to rebel, twisting painfully as another cramp rocked me.
I shook my head and dropped it back on the pillow. Can you just hold me?
Arik frowned as he placed the bowl on the side table. Always, Kjaere.
He slid into the bed behind me and pulled me close, my back flush with his chest and his hand cradling my low belly. The heat was glorious as I sank into him, the pain relenting slightly as he stroked the tender skin of my stomach.
This is nice. Idunn stretched sinuously in my mind. This is how it should be.
Like it was in the dark, Baldur agreed as his light twined around Idunn’s.
Sentimental creatures. Arik’s voice was a rough caress in my mind, a twin to the gentle thumb stroking over my skin.
They’re right, though. I closed my eyes, willing the peaceful oblivion of sleep to take my pain for a few hours at least. This is how it should be.