Chapter 26 #2
I have tried to bring it to paper, to somehow process the storm brimming inside me, but it’s no use.
Nothing that comes out helps or is the least bit good.
I don’t know how to stop this. I’m torturing myself with the memory of that night, even though she has never since looked at me again the way she did then.
And God, I tried.
Maybe that’s the whole point, why I can’t get her out of my head.
I tried, and she refused me.
I can still feel her nails digging into my shoulders, her hot breath next to my ear, her plump bottom lip between my teeth, and hear her soft whimpers.
“Fuck,” I exclaim, pushing away from my desk.
“Nash, get your lazy ass ready. We need to go.” North’s voice comes through the wooden door to my room.
Checking the clock, I see it’s still way too early. I just couldn’t sleep, so I’m already up and doing what I’ve been doing for the last few days whenever I’m alone.
Obsessing over her.
I just need to be with her one more time to fuck her out of my system and prove to her and myself that I can have her again if I want to.
Yep, that’s gotta be it.
“Coming,” I yell, making my way over to my dresser and grabbing a black hoodie.
I’m already wearing a thick sweater, but it got fucking cold yesterday on the boat, so I’m making sure I don’t freeze again.
The weather has been crazy lately, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it starts to snow this evening.
I head down the stairs to find North, Hunter, and Lio in the kitchen. “Morning Li-Li,” I singsong while I ruffle Lio’s hair, earning my regular scowl from Hunter.
I love to ruffle his feathers.
North is pouring himself a mug of coffee while I open the refrigerator and look inside. Not a single energy drink, again. I wanted to bring one with me and maybe share it with Sloan.
“Hunt, could you please get me some energy drinks next time you go grocery shopping? You know I would get them myself, but that damn store is only open while I work.”
Hunter doesn’t even look up from the scrambled eggs he’s making when he retorts, “They’re not good for you anyway.”
I chuckle, shaking my head. “They would be for Sloan too,” I share, hoping that mentioning her makes him budge. I noticed how he seemed to have a soft spot for my little siren yesterday. “Also, you’re not Mom, so stop mothering me.”
He stands straight and turns to me, and I can see North smirking to himself when Hunter tilts his head and says in a mocking tone, “Oh, I’m not Mom, but I can call her right now and ask her what her opinion on the matter is.”
I just give him the finger, close the refrigerator, then pull a fork out of a drawer, stealing some eggs from the pan he’s stirring. Hunter bats me away with the spatula, making Lio laugh.
Sticking my tongue out at Lio before grabbing an apple from the fruit basket on the table, I follow North out of the kitchen to where he’s already opening the door.
When we step out of the house, I shudder at the crisp morning air.
“Fuck, I hope I have some gloves in my locker, or my fingers are going to freeze to the crane,” I tell North as I open the door and sit in the passenger seat.
He starts the engine and turns up the heat. “Make sure they all wear some when you guys go out today.”
I nod, biting into my apple, which makes North shoot me a side-eyed glare, but I just ignore him. It’s just an apple. It isn’t like I could spill it in his precious car.
He’s fidgeting, tapping his finger on the steering wheel, and biting his lip, making me frown. His behavior has me pausing and wondering what is going on.
He’s never anything but his cold, sterile self anymore.
“What’s wrong?” I ask him, turning to look at him more closely.
“Nothing,” he states, void of any emotion.
“Why are you fidgeting then?” I ask as he drives into his parking space at the shipyard, and we get out of the car.
Instead of answering, he walks up to the front door and opens it with the key.
Once inside, we are greeted with the soft hum of music and the clinking of tools.
Turning, we both gaze over to the boat in the yard and see movement in the wheelhouse, a blonde head coming into sight before ducking down again.
I smile at North, but he turns and heads toward the stairway to his office.
I make my way up the boat’s ladder and lean onto the side of the doorway of the wheelhouse, watching as she’s on her knees, bending forward and inspecting the boat’s electricity cables. Her ass is up in the air, and I can’t help but curse myself for not taking her like that when I had the chance.
The sight is stunning.
Next time.
“Hey, pretty girl,” I greet, but my grin falls right off my face when she startles, straightening and hitting her head on the wheel before turning to me with a pained expression.
“Fuck, Nash, a little warning would have been nice,” she mutters, rubbing her head.
I get to my knees in front of her, reaching out to hold her head in my hands and pulling her toward me to inspect if she broke the skin with the force of it.
“This is going to form a lump.” I cringe, stroking over the red spot. “I’m so sorry, Siren.”
“Sloan, my name is Sloan,” she grumbles, trying to pull her head away from me, but I just crouch down to be at eye level with her, refusing to let go.
“Are you going to be okay, Sloan?” I ask her honestly, still feeling bad she hurt herself because of me.
She looks me in the eyes for a second too long before she gulps. “Sure.”
I fucking knew it.
She’s not as unaffected as she pretends to be.
I stroke her cheek, gazing into her eyes, but then her gaze turns to my right, and she tries to smother a short laugh.
“What?” I ask, smiling to myself. It’s not the first time she’s done that. She’s a little weird, but it’s kind of adorable.
“Nothing,” she lies, pulling away from me and hugging herself.
“Does it hurt that badly?” I ask, concerned.
“Oh, no, don’t worry, I’m just cold. It feels like I’ll never get warm again.” She shudders, stroking her upper arms over her thin, white long-sleeved cropped top.
She always wears it with those blue overalls, and I have dreamed about peeling her out of them.
Sloan gets to her feet, and I do too, before I pull my hoodie over my head.
Looking at me with wide eyes, I pull it over hers and down her body so she has to push her arms into the armholes.
I see her frown start to waver, and she finally gives in to the warmth, hugging herself again and breathing deeply.
“Thank you,” she mutters. “It was spring when I started my road trip, and I didn’t have warm clothes in the first place. The temperatures here are nuts.”
“Where did you come from?” I ask, genuinely interested.
That’s a first.
“San Francisco.” She shrugs, but my eyebrows shoot up to my hairline.
She came here from all the way over there?
Here, of all places?
“Why would you give up big city life to live in Lubec?” I ask.
I don’t think a girl who is used to the Golden State would be anything but bored here.
“Well, I’m more stranded than anything.” She shrugs, and I want to ask further, but she ushers me away. “I need to get going again here, but thanks for the hoodie. Are you sure you’re not going to get cold out there?”
Her eyes fill with genuine concern, and it feels like a little victory. I lean in, my hand resting on the small of her back, pulling her close. Her hands come up to my chest, and I can feel how cold they are. Her breath hitches when I lean in to whisper in her ear, “Worried about me?”
“Never,” she whispers back, and I laugh when I step back.
“Keep it. I can’t wait to take it off of you someday soon.”