Chapter 28
TWENTY-EIGHT
Her chest rises and falls at a low, unhurried pace. Her lips and cheeks are rosy again and oh-so kissable.
I love watching her sleep.
She has a birthmark in the middle of her left cheek, the exact placement and size as mine, but mine is on my right cheek.
I reach out to touch it with my fingertip, stopping just millimeters before making contact, yet I feel a soft tingle.
What the fuck?
I haven’t felt anything I have touched in years. But before I can mull it over, Sloan stirs, opening her eyes. She rubs them before yawning adorably and rolls over to find me lying beside her.
She gives me the most beautiful, sleepy smile, and my heart nearly leaps out of my chest.
“Morning, Casper,” she whispers.
“Good morning, Boo,” I tell her, my gaze softening.
Waking up beside her, or better yet, having her wake up beside me, is a heady feeling. It makes me think of scenarios where she could have been mine. Where we could have had this every morning after falling asleep, cuddling.
If I hadn’t been dumb enough to die before I met her.
“How did you sleep?” I ask while she sits up straight and stretches her arms over her chest, making her thin white top rise and giving me a view of her stomach.
“Good, it was warm.” She smiles again before getting off the bed, making me sit up too. “I’m going to use this opportunity and take a shower. Do you think you’ll still be here after?” She gives me a concerned glance as she grabs her bag from the floor.
Over the last few days, she has stopped talking about wanting me to find peace and started looking out for me, wanting to have me around.
Maybe she feels the same.
Maybe I can keep her.
I shake my head, trying badly not to obsess over something that can’t be, but it’s hard. “I don’t feel any pull yet, so I think I will be.” I grin, and she gives me a relieved smile before rushing out the door.
I lay back down, thinking about how I’m here and with her, the longest I’ve ever been without being pulled away. I don’t know if that’s a good sign, but I enjoy the heck out of it, being able to stay right where I want to be.
Feeling more alive than in years.
After maybe ten minutes, she returns to the room, sets her bag down, and goes to the mirror next to the dresser.
She starts to braid her hair into those cute braids she always wears for work, already dressed in blue overalls, but once again, she’s wearing Nash’s hoodie.
A twinge of jealousy courses through me.
She should wear one of mine.
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” she whispers to me when she’s done, grabbing her bag, pillow, and blanket and leaving the room. We’re making our way through the house toward the exit when Hunter’s voice comes from the kitchen.
“Good morning.”
I turn to see him standing in the kitchen behind Lio who’s sitting at the table, having breakfast.
“Why does this feel like déjà vu,” Sloan mutters before leaving her stuff in the hallway and walking over to them.
“Good morning,” she greets softly, but I can see that she’s uncomfortable.
“Morning,” Lio chirps.
“Did you sleep all right?” Hunter asks, prepping another plate with eggs and bacon.
“I did, thank you, and thank you again for everything you did and letting me stay here. You saved my butt last night.” She gives him a grateful smile, and I might see a little red tinge on his cheeks.
Oh, come on, him too?
Isn’t it enough that Nash pines after her like a lost puppy?
At least Hunter would deserve her.
“You’re more than welcome,” he offers, placing the plate in front of the chair next to Lio. “Here, eat.”
“Oh, no, you already did more than enough, really, I just wanted to say goodbye. I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”
“You can’t overstay something you haven’t had in the first place,” North mutters as he strides into the kitchen and goes to the coffee machine.
“Thundercunt!” I greet him, knowing he can’t hear me, but I’m convinced he needs to be called that at least once a day.
Nash comes in just behind him and ruffles Lio’s hair before leaning in and kissing Sloan’s temple, making me clench my teeth.
“Good morning,” he whispers into her ear.
She leans away and glowers at him.
That’s my girl.
“Have you looked out the window, pretty girl? If you couldn’t stay in your van last night, you probably can’t tonight, either.
Looks like you’re gonna stay with us for a little while longer,” Nash remarks, trying to steal bacon from the plate Hunter made for Sloan, but Hunter slaps him on the back of his hand.
“Oh no, it’s fine, really. I’m going to talk to Tally and find another solution.”
I scowl at her.
What would that even look like?
“Oh, how considerate of you, refusing the offer of the guy with the big house and free guest rooms just to sponge off a very pregnant woman who lives at her parents-in-law’s place,” North grunts out, taking a sip of his mug.
“North,” Hunter warns, shooting him a glare. But the damage is already done, and I can see Sloan deflate into herself, gnawing on her bottom lip.
Just perfect, now she’s gonna leave here and not ask anybody for help.
Perfectly done, Thundercunt.
“He’s a dick, but he’s right. Just stay here, Sloan.
It looks like the weather will get warmer again in a few days.
It’s just a drop in temperature. You’ll be back in your van in no time.
We like having you here,” Hunter reassures her, navigating her to sit in the chair with his hands on her shoulders.
North puffs out a breath, but Nash grins from ear to ear when he sits next to her. “Ignore him. He’s just grumpy because he can’t go on a morning run with the snow lying around. But Hunter’s right. We like having you here, right, Li-Li?”
Lio nods enthusiastically while shoving another forkful of eggs into his mouth, answering with a muffled “Yes.”
“And we can even carpool to work now.” Nash wiggles his eyebrows at Sloan.
“Jesus, help me.” North groans, rolling his eyes.
Then, the pull takes hold.
“That’s so freaking romantic,” Tally muses while leaning on the counter in the restaurant, her chin in her hands and her elbows resting on the counter.
“It’s not,” I argue while folding some more napkins, even though she’s right.
Hunter rescuing me was kinda romantic.
The drive to the yard this morning was silent, besides Nash chattering about how the cold temperatures were bringing the lobsters nearer to the coast. I worked silently the whole day on the boat’s electronics, but I still couldn’t find the problem, which irked me.
The only good thing is North hasn’t given me any timeline for this one yet. Thankfully, after we left the BMW, I didn’t see him for the rest of the day.
The whole day today was just uncomfortable. Saylor was gone after breakfast too, so it was a silent day, giving me too much time to overthink. I missed him, but that is something I can’t dwell on too much.
I need to go.
The longer I stay, the more complicated it gets. I felt it yesterday with Hunter and all the time with Saylor. When I’m completely honest, it’s Nash and even North too. They are slithering their way through my walls.
And I can’t let that happen.
I can’t let anybody in.
I’m way too carefree with Saylor because he’s him.
But it’s not just the guys. It’s Tally, Tim, and Mac too. If I stay here and allow myself to make friends, it will hurt so much more when I have to leave than just continuing to stay alone.
If it isn’t too late already.
And how can I speed up being able to hit the road again when everything seems to work against me.
Tally giggles and stands straight, bringing my thoughts back to the present.
“He drove through a snowstorm to get to you. It sounds like a movie. But just so you know, Tim was over at the van yesterday too, but you were nowhere to be found. We both couldn’t sleep thinking about you staying there in that storm.
And we didn’t even know about the damn heater.
Really, girl, give me your phone number already. I need to be able to contact you.”
“Tim came over?” I ask, completely perplexed that he would go into the storm for me.
“If you haven’t already gathered, we like you, dummy,” she grumbles, reaching out to take my phone out of my hand as soon as I unlock it to put in her number and let hers ring once. “Talking about numbers, do you want Hunter’s? Or did he already give it to you?” She wiggles her eyebrows at me.
“I already told you—” I start, but she interrupts me.
“I know, I know, Jones boys are off-limits. That’s just stupid, though,” she mutters, grabbing some napkins to fold.
“It’s not. Tally, I… he made me feel things yesterday. And Nash already did too. That shit’s complicated. I’m going to be gone soon, and they are brothers, and…”
Tally reaches out to pat my hand. “I get it, okay? I really do. I just wished one of them would sweep you off your feet so you decide to stay, and I can keep my new bestie.”
Bestie?
She thinks of me like that?
My heart makes a whoop. This is precisely why I need to go. It feels good. It feels like home until the rug gets pulled out from under me when I act strangely or they somehow find out.
“Just try all of them once and keep the one that’s best in bed,” Mac offers from the kitchen, making Tally and me laugh.
“You’re unbelievable.” I chuckle, feeling my heart get lighter.
“Why? There are no strings attached. You haven’t promised anything to anyone. They know and are well aware of what’s happening, so it’s their own fault if they play along.”
“Oh, so tell me, almighty Mac, what is happening? Because I don’t know it myself,” I ask, my eyebrows going to my hairline.
Mac lays down his knife and comes over to stand beside Tally. “What’s happening is the Jones boys have all fallen for the same girl and are going to woo her, making sure she stays here with us.”
I huff dismissively. “You’re delusional.”
He chuckles. “I think you’re the delusional one, Mouse. I’m team Daddy Jones, though.”
“Oh, oh! I’m team Hunter. And Tim already told me he wants you to reform Nash’s playboy self so we can have double dates and stuff,” Tally shares, all giddy.
“Tim wants me to get with Nash?” I furrow my brow in confusion.
If anything, I thought he was the one trying to keep Nash off my back.
“He wants him to be serious with you first, of course, but Nash is his best friend, and it would be so cool to have his best friend and my best friend together. We would have so much fun.” She claps her hands, and another twinge of hurt races through me.
It would be freaking amazing.
But it will never happen for so many reasons.
Besides, how would that even work?
It’s hard enough to hide in public, when I could stumble over a ghost at any time.
But trying to have someone close? Several someones?
Always having to watch what I say, how I act, where I look?
It’s exhausting. And if they notice, if they get that something is strange about me?
Best-case scenario is them dropping me like a hot potato, leaving me even more broken than I already am.
Worst-case scenario?
I shudder.
I’d rather die than go into a mental health institution again. I know not all are like the one I was admitted to, but I’m sure as hell not going to risk it.
“Oh, I totally forgot to tell you, the day after tomorrow, Friday, is Tim’s thirtieth birthday, and we’re having a little get-together here in the restaurant. You’re coming, right?” Tally gives me her best puppy eyes.
“Of course,” I say, smiling. I don’t know when I last went to a birthday party, and I find myself excited, even though I know I shouldn’t be.
The dinner shift begins as usual, and thankfully, it’s not too busy, so we have time to talk about Tim’s party, and I promise to help with the preparations.
I love hanging out with her, even if it’s only when we’re working. But with each shift, each conversation, as much as I want to immerse myself here, I know I can’t. There’s something about Tally that I can’t help it.
Shannon is standing in the corner of the restaurant, watching Tally like always, but since we had our talk, she has kept her distance and isn’t dropping any comments anymore. I feel bad, like I intruded. I somehow need to tell her I won’t do anything she doesn’t want so she can feel safe.
Shortly before closing, Nash and Hunter come into the restaurant, making the already sleepy-looking Tally all giddy again.
“Your men are here,” she whispers, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Ha-ha,” I whisper, making her giggle.
I steel myself and walk up to them, forcing a smile. “Hey, the kitchen just closed, sorry.”
“We know, pretty girl, we’re here for you,” Nash tells me with his signature grin, making my heart flutter.
I look at Hunter with a questioning gaze, but he half-smiles and says, “We brought the truck to get all your stuff over to the guest room.”
My heart picks up a notch, and I don’t know if it’s from excitement or anxiety.
What am I even doing?