Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
“Earth to Sloan,” Tally berates as she sits on a table, munching on fries with ketchup.
She had a craving and was close to crying about how she needed them now, so Mac hurried to make some fries for her.
My portion is still in front of me, but I’m staring into space while polishing some forks, my movement having stopped.
We’ve been here for two hours already, but no customers have come in, so I try to occupy myself, but it’s no use. “Sorry,” I mumble, shaking my head and rubbing the forks again with my cloth.
“You all right, Mouse?” Mac asks from the kitchen.
I need to get my shit back together.
Since Hunter left a little after lunch, I’m in my head, panicking.
“Sure,” I say quietly, not looking up from my task.
“Sure, if you call being moments from up and running away, all right, then yes, she’s all right,” Saylor remarks from where he’s leaning against the table next to us, his arms crossed over his chest. He tried to make me talk earlier, but I told him the same thing I told them.
I’m fine.
But he can feel it. He sees it in my eyes. He told me I looked like my fight-or-flight response had kicked back in, and the lever was on flight.
“How come I don’t believe you,” Tally accuses before she chomps on another fry.
“Because she’s lying,” Mac states, stepping up to me, taking the fork and the cloth out of my hands, and setting them down on the table.
He then takes the chair next to me and slides his arms under mine, pulling me onto his lap, arranging me like a child, and grabbing my chin to make me look up at him.
His eyes search mine, and I can’t do anything to prevent them from tearing up.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” Mac asks in his gruff voice, frowning. “Whose face do I have to punch in?”
It makes me smile, but I shake my head so he lets go of my chin. “No one’s, it’s just…”
“It’s just that she’s getting cold feet,” Saylor dryly states, and when I look over at him, he’s biting his lip.
I hate that I’m so transparent to him. No pun intended.
“It’s what?” Tally asks, and I find her gaze over the table.
It’s a constant fucking battle between my head and my heart.
“Hunter was here today. He brought me everything to fix up the van. It’s running again, and the heater is fixed,” I tell them, and Mac squeezes my thigh.
“That’s good news, isn’t it?” Mac questions, not understanding what I’m saying.
“It’s giving her an out,” Saylor accuses, and I can feel his hurt.
I hate hurting him.
“I haven’t decided yet,” I grumble, giving them both an answer.
“Decided on what?” Tally furrows her brows. “It’s good, Sloan! No need to freeze anymore.”
They don’t get it, but I need to talk about it. I need someone to talk me out of this who isn’t a Jones, or I may just have a panic attack and drive away after my shift.
“It’s drivable again,” I start, not quite sure how to broach the subject.
“I fucking hope so, or you’d be a pretty shitty mechanic.” Tally laughs, and I give her a small smile.
“She’s thinking about getting back on the road,” Mac mutters, and a little roughly, he sets me back down on my chair.
“I—” I start, but he’s already standing again.
“The scared little mouse wants to run because it’s easier.” Mac crosses his arms over his chest, glaring at me, basically taking the same position as Saylor behind him.
“No, you don’t!” Tally accuses, holding her belly.
Fuck, I need to stop agitating her. I’m a selfish bitch.
I stand, facing Mac and Saylor. “I’m scared, okay? I’m fucking scared because, let’s be honest, if I stay, there is no way I’m not letting them back in because they are back in. They never fucking left!”
Saylor nods to himself, looking down at the floor.
“And what about that would be so fucking bad, Sloan? What? Having three guys who would do fucking everything for you? Getting the joy you fucking deserve after all those years of being alone? Are you this afraid to be happy?” Tally asks, her eyes welling up.
Fuck.
“What if they hurt me again? I can’t have all of them. I can’t get hurt again,” I state, biting my lip. “I’m broken as it is. I can’t let them shatter the pieces that are left.”
“Boo.” Saylor’s gaze is soft now. Gone is the accusation in it.
“And what if they are the ones to glue you back together?” Tally asks, but I just shrug. “What if you give them a chance to prove themselves?”
She can’t guarantee that. And the risk is so damn high.
I’m only holding onto strings that are starting to rip under my weight.
Mac pulls me to stand in front of him and crouches down so we’re at eye level. “There’s a thing with fear, you know,” he starts, gripping my upper arms. “It runs away if you run toward it.”
The door to the restaurant opens, and Nash and Tim stride in. Nash looks so damn good in dark jeans, a navy sweater, and a black beanie, brown strands of hair peeking out, and a grin across his face, dimples in full force as he sees me.
“Don’t run away, run toward it,” Mac whispers in my ear.
I can’t take my eyes away from Nash, who steps in front of us. “Mac, hands off my girl, man. I know you can kick my ass, but I will at least try to defend her.”
“Stay,” Mac mutters in my ear again before he steps back, his hands up in a surrender motion. “Oh, I’m so scared, baby Jones.”
Saylor chuckles from beside me, and I feel his hand touching mine. “You know, I can be anything you need me to be, even superglue.”
Tim sits next to Tally, kissing her cheek and stroking her belly. “Hey, baby, how was your day? Sorry we’re late. We had a little accident with the bait box and needed to grab a shower first.”
“Ugh, that shit’s the worst.” Saylor shudders in my peripheral vision.
“Oh, it was good, thank you. Sloan just told us that the van is working again with a heater, so it gives us a little more time to search for a room for her,” Tally tells Tim, her eyes lingering on mine.
“Evil Tally, I like it.” Saylor snickers.
Nash’s gaze is on me the whole time, but apparently, he’s done waiting for me to acknowledge him with a hello, so he just sits on the chair, pulling me into his lap.
“So first off, nice, no freezing nights anymore…” he steals some of my fries and mumbles around a mouthful, “… and why would she need a room?”
I want to stand from his lap, but he holds me tighter, leaning in to kiss the side of my throat before he munches another fry.
“Because winter is going to be too cold to stay in the van, idiot.” Tally rolls her eyes. Tim tries to steal one of her fries, but she hisses at him, making him hold up his hands in surrender.
“I’m gonna make some more fries, it seems,” Mac mutters, making his way to the kitchen.
“No, I get that, but she has a room,” Nash states before he turns to yell after Mac, “Thanks, man!”
Tally grins at Tim, then at me. “Does she?”
Nash turns to look me in the eyes, his hand coming to my thigh, stroking up and down the seam of my jeans. “Of course she does,” he says softly. “She has her own, or she can share mine. Where I am, there’s room for her. Always.”
“Fuck, that was good. He’s getting better,” Saylor mutters while my heart flies out of my chest.
“I don’t want to live in your house,” I protest, but it sounds weak even to my ears.
Who am I kidding? All of us fucking know what’s up. Only the hurt and scared little voice in my head is left protesting.
Nash leans in to kiss my nose. “I know, but I’m working on it.”
“Oh, he so is.” Tim chuckles, and I frown at him, but he just grins and winks at me as he puts an arm around Tally’s shoulders.
The door to the restaurant opens again. This time, it’s real customers. Tally tries to stand, but I put a hand up. “Stay, I’ll take care of it.”
I attempt to stand, but Nash gently holds me for a moment, whispering in my ear, “Have a little faith in me, okay?” I gaze into his ocean blue eyes and nod absentmindedly. He smiles and adds, “Thank you.”
Later, during a short break next to the kitchen, I feel tingles on my waist and close my eyes, whispering a faint, “I’m sorry.”
Saylor hums and whispers back, “Don’t be sorry, but don’t shut me out. I’m on your side whenever, wherever, for whatever.”
“Sorry,” I whisper again, and he chuckles softly.
“I know you want to take the leap, Boo. And I’m here if it turns out badly. But I’m also here if it turns out good. You will never be alone again. You can allow yourself to try, even with Thundercunt.”
Just then, the door opens again, and North walks in. He appears a little perplexed when he sees Nash sitting at his usual table but decides to join them.
“Speaking of Satan,” Saylor whispers, and I chuckle.
The guys linger, waiting for the rest of us until it’s time to close the restaurant. We step outside, and North, Nash, and Saylor walk me to my van while Tally, Tim, and Mac make their way home with grins on their faces. Tally mouths, text me later, making me roll my eyes.
In front of the van, I fumble with the keys, my nerves causing me to drop them. When I turn around, the guys stand in a line behind me, looking way too good—all tall and dark—and with three sets of ocean blue eyes fixed on me.
Holy hotness.
I gulp, and Saylor chuckles. “Better get used to that, Slo.”
Nash bends to grab the keys and pushes me gently to the side, opening the van and getting inside. “Night, bro, or do you wanna join? It could be a tight fit, but you know I like to cuddle.”
“Not the brother in question, but still coming,” Saylor mutters, climbing in the van.
North furrows his brows, clearly taken aback. “He’s sleeping with you?”
“He’s not sleeping with me. He’s just… here,” I share. North’s eyes are unreadable, and for some reason, I feel the need to explain myself, even though I know I don’t owe him shit. “I don’t like to be alone at the moment, okay?” I whisper.
North nods and reaches out to grab my hand, pulling me in for the quickest hug and kissing my temple.
“Noted. Sleep well.” It happens so fast that I have no time to react or protest. Louder, he tells Nash over my head, “I’m gonna take her for our run tomorrow.
Get your ass out of bed early for once and join us. ”
I look up at North, still surprised, and he smirks as he looks down at me.
This man is going to be the death of me with all his smirks.
“Not gonna happen. Night!” comes from Nash, who sounds muffled, like he’s already in bed under the covers.
“Night,” I whisper to North, who lets me go and turns to leave.
I climb into the van, close the door, and turn to survey my space.
On the right side of the bed, Nash is laying under my blankets, sleepy eyes on mine, while on the left side, Saylor mirrors Nash’s position, smiling.
Butterflies take off in my chest, and my heart is beating so fast I have to take a deep breath to calm down.
“Come here.” Nash yawns. “I’m so goddamn tired.”
I put on the radio and look over to Nash again, but his eyes are already closed, so I slip out of my jeans and search for some sleep pants or leggings, but they’re all dirty.
I so need to wash my shit.
The heater works like a charm, and it’s warm in here.
I pull my sweater over my head and unclasp my bra to pull it out from under my shirt, leaving me in my white panties, a yellow T-shirt, and socks, which I toe off.
Saylor watches my every move but doesn’t comment.
He only nods to me to join them in the bed.
I wriggle under the covers, and Nash is already breathing deeply.
“I didn’t know he slept here,” Saylor whispers when he leans over me, stroking my cheek.
My stomach sinks. I should have told him about it.
I can’t seem to stop hurting the only one who never hurts me.
“He—” I start to whisper, but Saylor puts a finger on my lips.
“I’m glad he was here for you when I couldn’t be. I want all of them to be there for you. You need all of us. It’s like it’s meant to be.” I frown, but he leans down to kiss my birthmark.
That’s when Nash turns in his sleep and reaches out for me, pulling me to him, nestling my head under his chin.
His hand comes to my naked thigh, pulling it over his waist, his hand lingering on my skin, his fingers stroking up and down.
Saylor scoots in to lay behind me, his hand settling on my thigh directly under Nash’s, a mix of warmth and tingles spreading under their hands.
“Sleep, Boo,” Saylor whispers, and it’s a command my body wants to follow now that it’s warm and safe, nestled between two of the men who have my heart.