2. Elyssa
ELYSSA
Two months ago, the night before the last final.
T he cold wind against my skin made me regret not bringing a jacket. I tended to forget that, despite it being spring, the weather wasn’t getting any hotter on Longfield Island.
I sighed and tightened my arms around myself.
Where the fuck was he?
My stomach was in knots, not only from the fear of getting caught and what that would mean for me, but also and most importantly from shame.
I was ashamed of what I was about to do, but I didn’t have a choice.
Biting my lip to keep from crying, I decided closing my eyes, taking a deep breath and counting to ten was the way to go.
The last few days had been hell. Mom’s state, grandpa calling me and reminding me of how grateful I should be to be here. To be alive at all. More than once, I thought about just saying fuck it and disappearing.
But I couldn’t, because I knew the ones that would pay for it were mom and aunt Matilda. Especially the latter, since she was the one who convinced the others to let me study here with her kids.
No, I decided, I couldn’t disappear and let her take the blame. God knew mom had already done that once and Aunt Matilda still had the scars to prove it.
The sound of feet shuffling on the floor made my eyes snap open. It was dark, and although we could probably see the moon better than anyone on the continent, all the trees around me made it hard to see anything. A shadow was advancing towards me, but I didn’t know if it was him or if I’d just gotten busted.
“I have what you asked for.”
My shoulders slumped and a breath I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding finally made it out.
“Do you have the money?” he asked.
I nodded, unable to form any words. Shame clogged my throat, made it impossible to speak properly. I was doing something that could cost me my place in this school, that could cost my aunt and mother a good beating if I got busted and my grandfather came to know about it.
But the alternative wasn’t much better.
It was either cheat and pass this fucking test, or fail and never be allowed to come back here again.
I had to take the risk.
Silently, I handed him the money, three grand that I had to borrow from my cousins, and he took it hurriedly. Henson all but threw the manila envelope containing tomorrow’s test answers at me, and I scrambled to catch it so it wouldn’t hit the damp ground.
“If you talk, you’ll regret it,” was all my maths TA said before turning on his heels and going back to where he came from, quickly disappearing towards the castle.
My breathing was ragged.
I had never cheated in my life, never needed to.
But this was an exception.
Given everything that had been happening at home that week, I hadn’t had the time nor the drive to study for tomorrow’s final. And since my whole stay at the Academy depended on my grades, I couldn’t fail.
“It’s okay. It’s survival,” I muttered under my breath, my fingers playing with the bangles on my wrist that I never took off, not even to sleep.
I could feel myself starting to calm down, right before a cold voice emerged from between the trees.
“Is that how you want to call it? Survival?”
I stopped breathing, my whole body felt numb as I waited for him to appear in front of me. I would have recognized his voice anywhere, but I fooled myself into thinking I was mistaken.
Only, when Konstantin Korolov appeared, I knew I was fucked. His face was lit up by the moonlight, eyes digging holes into my skull, and he was standing there, like a king ruling over me, looking down on me.
“So that explains it, then,” he stated, eyed me up and down in what could only be described as disgust. “That’s how you managed to even compete with me.”
White hot anger burned deep in my stomach at his assessment. Of course he would think that, this egocentric, self-centered, holier-than-thou son of a? ? —
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” I gritted my teeth, trying my best not to let tears of anger, shame and anxiety stream down my face.
Konstantin chuckled humorlessly, taking a step closer to me. “Of course I don’t. It’s always best to fool yourself into thinking you’re doing the right thing than to think you’re a fucking cheater.”
“Shut up.” I had been on edge for days, my brain was foggy thinking about mom’s health, about my future at the Academy. I couldn’t talk to anyone about this because no one truly understood. The last thing I needed was fucking Konstantin Korolov calling me names.
Something that usually would have made me laugh to piss him off, now only made me want to cry.
“Tell me, what’s keeping me from going to the Dean right now and getting your ass thrown out of this fucking school, Ayaari?”
Ayaari.
He always called me that and not Bianchi like the rest of the school because he thought it pissed me off. Little did he know it was quite the opposite.
His eyes bore into mine. They were always so full of anger, full of contempt. Often, I found myself admiring their color and their depth, but I never let it go too far.
The last thing I needed was to feed the tiniest crush I had on Konstantin. Someone so cold and ruthless. Incapable of love.
I knew what he was waiting for me to say and I despised him a little more for it.
I hated myself even more for giving him something to hold over me.
I ground my teeth and closed my eyes, deciding the only way to go was putting my pride aside.
“Please. I—Please don’t say anything.”
A lone tear made its way down my cheek and I was too tired to wipe it off.
It wasn’t from sadness exactly, it was from so many things. Helplessness, anger, and my hurt pride.
My words were only met with silence, though.
I didn’t dare open my eyes to look at him because I didn’t want to see the satisfaction on his face, knowing he’d won.
But then he said, “I won’t,” and my eyes snapped open in surprise. “I won’t say anything, because knowing that you’re nothing but an imposter is enough for me. But you owe me, Ayaari. And Korolovs always come to collect their debts.”
He didn’t wait for an answer as he side-stepped me, always so careful not to touch me, and started walking back to the castle where our dorms were situated. Bringing a trembling hand to my face, I let out a ragged breath before angrily wiping away the couple more tears that had escaped.
It was a disaster.
“I missed you so fucking much!” Briar exclaimed, hugging me tight.
I usually wasn’t the hugging type, but there were a few people for whom I could look past that: Mia, aunt Matilda, and Briar.
I would have added mamma to that list but she wasn’t the hugging type anymore… if anything, I was the one coming close to begging her for a sliver of affection nowadays.
“I missed you too. How was summer at the Di Domenico mansion?” I smiled and sat down on her bed after she finally let go of me.
Briar and I were roommates in our first year at the Academy, since all first years had to share a dorm. She tried befriending me almost immediately but I had trouble letting her in. Growing up in a household where you were constantly put down even if you got the best grades and were basically a violin prodigy was hard. I easily grew wary of people and didn’t have any friends except for Mia and Lorenzo before coming to the Academy. Viola and Batista had always made sure of that, spreading rumors about me and making my high school years a living hell.
Briar was the epitome of Miss Popular, much like Mia. She was beautiful, with long curly brown hair and light brown skin. People were naturally drawn to her natural softness. She also was a rising ballet star, which made her my cousin Viola’s greatest rival. I actually started warming up to Briar when I learned that.
But it wasn’t until she got drunk one night and spilled the beans about her family life that I decided maybe we weren’t so different.
She was the granddaughter of Giuseppe Di Domenico, one of my grandfather’s greatest allies, but just like me, she was a bit of a pariah in her circle. Her father had decided to marry outside the Life, which in turn had him ostracized from his family.
Briar actually had a pretty normal childhood, much like me, but her parents died in a car crash when she was fourteen.
Her grandfather took her in, against the rest of her family’s wishes. They never truly accepted her, since her mother was black and crime families were apparently all racist cunts.
Yet, no one in her family would dare make her life hell like my cousins and uncles did to me, because she meant everything to her grandfather.
Sometimes I just couldn’t see how he and mine could be such great allies. Briar’s old man loved her; he’d never seen her as a bargaining chip that he inherited against his will.
“Pretty boring, just me and Grandpa doing s’mores in the backyard and watching movies.”
I smirked. “Yeah? He’s loving the retired life, isn’t he?”
“He is,” she sighed. “A little too much, actually. He’s going to Vegas with Titto this week.” She rolled her eyes. “Even though the doctor said not to drink too much or eat anything too sweet for his diabetes.”
I smiled at how mundane this conversation sounded. Like her grandfather was just a grumpy old man with health issues and not a dangerous—although retired—don.
“How was your break?” she asked and my smile immediately dimmed a little.
Shrugging, I looked away. “Fine. Hung out with Mia as much as her dad would allow it, and practiced in my room most days. Oh, and aunt Matilda convinced her husband to let me go with Mia and Lorenzo to their house in the Hamptons for a weekend. It was fun.”
I picked at my skirt, unable to look up into her eyes. I knew I’d see pity there and I couldn’t stand it.
“That’s great, Lyssa.” Her hand grabbed mine and she smiled genuinely but I went for a change of subject nonetheless.
“I’m actually excited for this year.”
Briar’s eyes widened in excitement and she was back to hugging me. “Girl, me too! It’s gonna be a great year, I can feel it.”
I smiled, but something churned in my gut at her words. I wanted her to be right, so much.
But I couldn’t help thinking about some blue-eyed devil fucking it all up for me because of a mistake I made two months ago.