23. Elyssa
ELYSSA
I woke up feeling like I was burning up. I was engulfed in a big, heavy blanket, and I had never been more comfortable in my life.
The moment when you’re waking up, not dreaming anymore, but not exactly aware of your surroundings either—that moment is bliss. Because it’s the one time where you don’t think about the things that await you in the real world.
No responsibilities, no expectations, just warmth, sleepiness, and comfort.
Until the thing I believed to be a blanket against me started moving.
That’s when everything dawned on me.
My heart skipped a beat and my eyes sprung open, taking in the darkness of the room I had fallen asleep in. It was still cold around us, but Konstantin’s body had kept me warm all night, I had no idea how. He was only wearing a long-sleeve t-shirt and I suddenly had a flashback from last night of him pushing his sweatshirt onto me before I fell asleep, bone tired.
I had no idea sex could be so exhausting, especially when I hadn’t done anything but be on the receiving end of it.
Light shone through the cracks on the door up the stairs, meaning daylight had come.
Doing my best to sit up without waking the resting Russian next to me, I grabbed my phone and checked the time.
It was almost seven in the morning.
Breakfast was served at seven-thirty and I knew Mia would come and fetch me as she always did. I cursed under my breath before disentangling myself from Konstantin’s death hold on me. My heart was beating fast, not only at the idea of getting caught but also because this felt like a betrayal.
We’d shared a lot last night and knowing it had been a first experience for both of us made me feel out of breath. I loved it and hated it at the same time.
Loved it because of that secret little crush I’d had on Konstantin during all those years, despite his behavior and our rivalry.
Hated it for the exact same reason.
Because the mere idea of us getting together was laughable.
Our families would never accept it.
I knew deep down that my grandfather had plans for me: marry me off to the highest bidder, and see what his ugly duckling could eventually bring him.
That was the only reason why he’d taken me in and agreed to give me an education that equaled those of my cousins’: because I could be an asset to his schemes.
Still, a little voice in my head kept on whispering, ‘What if?’
The Korolov family did not care about mafia codes, they weren’t scared of my grandfather, or anyone in my family for that matter. The hope that maybe last night meant something other than sex to Konstantin blossomed in my chest. If he wanted me, he wouldn’t let my grandfather hurt me. I knew it deep down. He’d take me in and protect me, but I couldn’t let myself think about that.
Hope was for the weak.
My mother had been full of it when she met my dad.
A whole lot of good it did her.
By the time I arrived at my dorm, showered, and got dressed, it was already seven twenty-five. I sighed in relief because it meant I was on time. When a knock came on my door, I quickly grabbed my bag and went to answer it, fully expecting my cousin to stand on the other side of it.
What I didn’t expect, however, was that she would be bawling her eyes out.
“What happened, Mia?”
She shook her head, doubling over and crying hard. I hugged her and brought her in, not wanting my cousin to become the source of gossip from the girls in our dorm.
“I can’t believe I was so stupid, Lyssa. You warned me but I did it anyway.”
A knot caught in my throat as I helped her sit down on my bed, because I immediately knew what she was referring to.
“I sent him this stupid message, confessing how attracted I was to him, how gone I was for him, all that to be left on read!” She sniffed. “And then last night I—I looked him up and…”
Her shoulders shook with the force of her sobs. Unrequited love was a bitch and my cousin was learning it the hard way.
I couldn’t help but feel responsible for her state, I should have been more honest with her. I should have told her that whatever connection she had imagined between the two of them was just that: imagination. But I didn’t. Instead, I said nothing and let her hurt her feelings stupidly. I honestly didn’t catch on how serious she was about him until this year, and by then she was already a goner.
“Mia, babes.” I wiped the tears under her puffy eyes. “Don’t you think that, maybe, you didn’t really love him? Maybe you liked the idea of him more than anything else.”
She closed her eyes and shrugged, tears still sliding down her face silently. “He’s just so… fascinating. Like nothing can touch him. I feel like I could be safe with him, he—he would keep me safe,” she hiccuped the last part, breaking my heart a little bit.
The thing when you grew up with a violent father was that the one place where you should have felt safest, your home, became an arena. Every day you had to do everything in your power not to trigger a fight. Walking on eggshells was not the best way to be living life.
It might sound crazy, but sometimes I thought that, compared to her, I’d had it easy. My exile in the confines of the family estate meant I didn’t bump into my grandfather, cousins, or uncles very often. That much couldn’t be said about Mia.
So it made sense, her obsession with Dominik Korolov. He seemed so responsible, strong, and even maybe respectful in his way.
“I looked him up last night because he’d been working on this huge deal for his family’s firm for months and I wanted to know where that was at. I thought maybe that was the reason why he was not answering me. Maybe he was too busy with it. But the first article I saw was about his—his…” she sobbed. “His engagement.”
Mia went back to crying, hiding her face in the crook of my neck as she shook.
I closed my eyes, imagining how this could have felt like the last nail in the coffin for her.
“Maybe you’re right and I shouldn’t have fallen in love with him. Maybe I fell in love with an idea and not his real personality, but the fact is that I did fall for him,” she chuckled, self-deprecatingly. “That’s such a stupid thing to do. Maybe Dad is right and I am dumb.”
She let her head fall against my shoulder tiredly.
“Don’t say that. Your father is an asshole and he is not right. Never. You’re beautiful, smart, and literally the funniest person I know. You bring joy wherever you go. So what if one guy didn’t see it? There are plenty of other fish in the sea. You’ll find your soulmate, Mia. I know you will.”
She stared at me for a few seconds before a small smile made it through her tears. Sniffling, she grabbed my hand and squeezed.
“Thank you. It feels weird for you to say that, I thought you didn’t believe in love.”
Her words gave me pause. I did believe in love, had witnessed it first hand actually. But I also did believe that love destroyed you. Love made you do things you would have never done under normal circumstances.
Love builds you up… but as soon as it disappears you come crumbling down, unable to get back up.
KONSTANTIN
She was avoiding me.
After waking up alone this morning, that was abundantly clear.
I knew I had no right to hate it or be annoyed with her, but I did. I thought last night meant something to her, at least as much as it meant to me.
And fuck, it meant a lot to me.
I had never felt the way I did last night. Had never wanted something as bad as I wanted to touch her, taste her.
Just like the first time we kissed, I waited for disgust to hit me, but nothing came. It was crazy how anyone grazing me in the hallways made me want to retch, but the thought of touching tongues, licking and sucking every inch of Elyssa’s body only made me fucking horny.
This morning was the first time since I was fifteen and started discovering how my body worked that I had to rub one out.
I mean, sure, I’d done it since then, whenever I needed to release tension, but I’d never felt like I would die if I didn’t.
“How do you get a girl to… like you and, eventually, want to sleep with you?”
The question seemed to startle my brother to the point where he looked up from his phone. Mikhail had always been the most social out of all of us, except Devina and Dinara maybe. Still, it was unusual for him to spend so much time on social media. He also hadn’t bragged about sleeping with anyone in about two weeks, which was record time for this hoe.
“Excuse me? Repeat that question please.” He locked his phone and slipped it in his back pocket, a slow, devilish smile spreading on his lips.
“You heard me,” I gritted between my teeth.
“Yeah, but I want you to say it again. Are you finally ready to lose your v-card, mladshiy brat ?”
I would have paid good money to kick the smile off his face but Mother didn’t like it when we fought. One would argue she didn’t have to know, but we were waiting for Dominik to join us and he could be worse than our parents with sticking to rules. I saved myself an earful and remained calm.
“Tell me, does that have anything to do with a certain Italian princess?”
I groaned and got up from the bench, ready to leave. “Forget I said anything, I’ll ask Royal.”
“No, wait! I’m sorry, please let me help relieve you of your virginity.” He grabbed my jacket and I sent him a disgusted look. When he understood how weird his words sounded, he coughed. “Not like that! I meant, show you the moves so you can get rid of it yourself.”
I sent him a pointed look before slowly sitting back down.
“Lesson number one, it might help if you were nice, sometimes. Not overly so, but maybe just say hi. Calling a girl beautiful also never hurt anyone."
Grunting, I took mental note of that.
“Lesson number two, this one you won’t like because it implies bodily fluids, but women need lots of foreplay.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “If you don’t eat the pussy, you shouldn’t be in the pussy.”
That was where I drew the line. I pushed his hand off my shoulder, ready to tell him to fuck off when a voice called out or name.
“Korolov!” Both of us turned around, only to see a blond guy stomp his way towards us.
I recognized him immediately, Lorenzo Bianchi Gavini.
Elyssa’s cousin.
I was surprised by the way he was addressing us and walking our way, clearly angry and not afraid to show it. Up until then, Lorenzo could have been compared to a mouse: he liked to hide from danger, lurk in the shadows, and not make a sound.
Looking at my older brother from the corner of my eye, Mikhail’s playful attitude was gone, quickly replaced by a glare so dark it rivaled mine.
The closer Lorenzo came toward us, the less sure of himself he appeared. Especially since we both got up, crossing our arms over our chests and waiting for him to start talking.
“You—you tell that brother of yours to leave my sister alone!” he screamed, pointing his finger at us.
Lorenzo wasn’t short by any means, probably around 5’11, which was pretty normal for a dude. But both Mikhail and I were well over six feet. Lorenzo looked like he might shit himself, like he already regretted the way he’d spoken to us.
People stopped walking to stare at the altercation, which only seemed to make him more nervous.
He was about to say something else, like he wanted to prove himself to the onlooking students, but before the words could make it out of his mouth, Mikhail had him by the throat, pulling him up until the Italian had to stand on the tip of his toes to be able to breathe.
“ Sleduyet I privyazat' yego neskol'ko ?” my brother asked me in Russian, never taking his eyes from Lorenzo’s face, which was quickly becoming purple.
“ Nyet. Mama byla by v yarosti ” I rolled my eyes, telling him not to snap the fucker’s neck or else mother would be mad.
He squeezed a little tighter, causing Lorenzo’s eyes to bulge a little, his hands clutching at Mikhail’s wrist in a weak attempt to disengage himself.
After a beat, my brother let go of him, causing the Italian to fall on the dirty, wet ground. The bench we sat at was near the entry to the woods, so everything was pretty muddy.
“Now try that again. Respectfully.”
Lorenzo did nothing to get up at first, simply massaging his throat like the weak bitch he was. His eyes were trained on the ground, his breath uneven.
I couldn’t believe this was Elyssa’s cousin. She was nothing like her family.
No, Elyssa was strong and soft at the same time. She didn’t take shit from anyone, and if I were completely honest, it was something I respected a lot.
“I—listen, I don’t want any trouble.” He looked up at us, slowly pushing himself back to his feet and dusting his pants off.
“Could have fooled me.”
“I was angry because… look, Mia, my twin, she has this weird infatuation with your brother.”
“Dominik?” Mikhail frowned like the idea of anyone liking our older brother was strange.
“Yes. She sent him a message but he broke her heart. I just want to make sure that he stays away from her.”
“Dominik is engaged, you moron. And even if he wasn’t, I’m pretty sure if he’d had an interest in your sister, she’d be his already.”
Lorenzo’s lips pursed as he refrained from telling Mikhail to fuck off, probably from fear of getting his neck snapped for real this time.
“Good.” He nodded once, sending us one last look full of disdain, before turning around and marching into the forest, probably to lick his wounds.
“Weird fucking guy,” Mikhail commented as we watched him disappear between the trees.
I sighed and, just as I went to turn back to my brother, my eyes caught sight of deep brown hair and eyes the same color.
Elyssa was staring at me from the path leading to the castle, ten feet away from us, clearly having witnessed the altercation. The expression on her face was a mix of anger, disappointment, and confusion. Nothing like how she had looked at me yesterday.
My mood soured even further.
She turned around and walked inside the castle, dismissing me.
Only I wouldn’t let her. Not this time.
Not bothering to tell Mikhail where I was heading, I started jogging towards her. In no time I was in the castle and she disappeared behind a corner.
Her legs were no competition for mine and soon, I was on her heels. When she noticed me, Elyssa started running. Blood rushed to my head and I ran after her, chasing her through the mostly empty hallways of the Academy.
She tried losing me by taking all the small corridors and less-used staircases, but it didn’t work. I knew this place like the back of my hand.
I could have easily caught her too, but I had to say this little cat-and-mouse game was deeply amusing to me. It made me hard too, but I was starting to think that everything she did had that power over me.
Without realizing it, Elyssa had led me to the basement of the castle, where the indoor pool and locker rooms were. She stopped in front of the double doors; the smell of chlorine and the sound of the water pump reached us from where we stood.
“Stop avoiding me, moshennik . I won’t let you slip away again.” I stopped a few feet away, leaning against the wall and smirking at her.
Her cheeks got that sweet pink color they always did when she was angry, embarrassed, or, as I learned last night, turned on. She knew she had nowhere to go unless she tried running through the pool room, risking slipping on the wet floor, to reach the back door which led to another staircase.
Elyssa stopped, still staring at the white doors, never turning to face me fully. Then, just like I knew she would, she pushed the double doors open and ran inside.
Not wanting her to hurt herself stupidly, I decided it would be better to put an end to this game. I followed her inside and grabbed her waist, pulling her to my chest.
“Let go of me, you brute!” she yelled, struggling against my hold.
It did nothing but make me roll my eyes. Also, turn me on even more.
God, what had I become?
I doubt she did it on purpose, but every time she flailed around, her little ass rubbed against my dick and it was fucking maddening.
“Konstantin, release me!”
“Are you gonna calm down?”
She stayed silent for a beat, ceasing to try and free herself from me.
“Yes.”
So I let her touch the ground again but didn’t release my hold on her waist, turning her around so she’d face me instead.
The fury on her face was addictive. I liked putting it there and making her scream my name in anger almost as much as I liked it when she had moaned it last night.
“What do you want?” she gritted.
“Why did you leave this morning?”
The question seemed to startle her like maybe she wasn’t expecting me to acknowledge it at all.
“I—I just… why would I stay?”
Pulling her to me so that her chest was flush against mine, I narrowed my eyes at her.
“Because I wasn’t done with you.”
Her breath caught in her throat, her eyes flashing with desire before something else washed it away. Elyssa looked away quickly, gulping and clearing her throat.
“That was a one-time thing.”
“Like fuck it was,” I growled, digging my finger further into her soft skin.
“Be for real, Konstantin. You know this couldn’t work. Yesterday was a—a… lapse in judgment. We were tired, let’s just… forget about it and go back to how things were. It was a mistake.”
The word echoed through my brain like a gunshot.
Mistake.
I hated that she’d used that particular word to describe something as special to me as what happened last night.
It took me a minute to comprehend that what I was feeling was hurt. It hadn’t happened to me since we came to live here in the States; I had sworn I wouldn’t let it happen again.
The realization that I’d let myself be fooled by her again felt heavy in my chest.
“You know what? Fine. Get lost.” Angry at both of us, I let go of Elyssa… by pushing her into the pool behind her.
The sound she made as she fell into the water was deeply satisfying and almost brought a cruel smile to my lips. I was hurt and thought maybe having to go back up to her dorm while completely soaked might be humiliating enough for her to put us on even ground.
But when I saw her struggling to come back to the surface, flailing her arms around and unable to breathe, that thought was quickly forgotten.
Because apparently, Elyssa Ayaari couldn’t fucking swim.