Chapter 3 Soul
Soul
I could be your tether?
Where had that come from? The offer spilled from my mouth like he’d pulled it straight from my chest with those wet, blue eyes. Like on the shore of the Lake back home and the flowers that had led me to this place.
We were half crouched on the ground, and there was a part of me that realized I still hadn’t moved away from him.
I pressed against his slender body like I was stitched to his chest. I should have kept my teeth at his throat and torn his soul to shreds—I should have dragged him back to the Lake and thrown him at Death’s feet so he could explain how he’d gotten out to begin with.
I should have done a lot of things, but instead, I watched his face while the pain and confusion that was warring with his expression slowly melted away as my words sank in.
“Why would you offer that? You don’t even know me.”
I know. You’re nothing but a wayward soul.
That was the right answer. That was the only answer I should have given him, so I wasn’t sure why the words that came from my lips were anything else.
“It doesn’t matter… I could… if you wanted…” Wait. I frowned and shook my head to clear my thoughts that were drowning in the scent of him. “I… no. That’s not what I meant, I…”
My own words felt like they were choking me. I forced myself to let him go before I did something even more foolish, like offer to protect him. I made it less than a foot before it felt like something was jerking in the center of my chest, keeping me close.
The man stayed lying on the ground, looking up at me with those bright blue eyes and…
“You shouldn’t be so… touchable.” My fingers moved of their own accord, taking hold of his hand so I could pull him into a sitting position. He let me, and he didn’t jerk back when I somehow found myself keeping my hand on his wrist.
Maybe I was just holding him so he wouldn’t run? It sounded better than the odd alternative that I’d somehow meant the word tether literally, and I was incapable of moving away from him.
“I haven’t been… for a while now. Not since Sephtis took me to the Lake.”
Sephtis. I should have known he had something to do with this… after all, he’d been with the man who looked just like the one in front of me, but somehow not as pretty. I didn’t pay attention to the affairs of Reapers, so I’d never noticed when Sephtis brought him to the Lake the first time…
“What do you mean, you haven’t been?”
“I mean… I’ve been like a ghost? I guess that’s what I am, right?
Kind of haunting around the world. I was here, and no one could see me.
Even when I was back by that Lake, I felt like I was floating until I climbed out of the water…
I… I don’t know.” His honey-golden brows knit together, and he looked down between us.
“Nothing has felt solid like this since I died.”
His eyes were fixed where I was touching him, acting like the anchor I’d somehow promised to be.
“Lost souls shouldn’t be… tangible. I mean, my kind can touch, can tear apart with teeth and claws, but that’s different.
You’re…” I frowned. When soul hounds took spirits in our teeth, we weren’t touching them so much as shredding their very essence.
I couldn’t feel them. They didn’t feel… “You’re warm.
Not exactly alive, but you don’t feel dead. ”
He lifted his eyes to me again, and they were just a little wet, as the corner of his mouth ticked up in a soft, pain-filled smile. “Funny hearing you say that… I’ve felt cold for… a while. Until now.”
It sounded like he meant even before he’d died.
Gods… I’d been around a few souls who begged for their existence, who tried to fight me when I attacked them.
I’d never been around one that looked like its whole world was falling apart and they’d suddenly found solid ground by touching me.
I’d never been around one that I felt so compelled to touch back.
It had to have something to do with those strange flowers, with the way I’d put the petal to my tongue.
It had to be this form I was still in.
“I… I can’t do this,” I muttered, pulling back from him with a frown.
“What’s wrong?” The concern in his voice just made it worse.
“Everything is wrong. This form is wrong. I’m not supposed to be feeling… feeling…”
Any of this. Anything.
I wasn’t supposed to feel anything, except the drive to do my duty, to fulfill my orders.
And at that moment, the only thing I was feeling was the urge to reach out and take his hand again.
I had to get out of this form. If I could turn back to normal, maybe my instincts would get back on track. Nothing good could ever come from taking the shape of a human.
If I could be myself, maybe I’d stop being confused.
“Can I help? I—”
“No,” I snarled, taking another step back when he reached for me. I was afraid if he touched me, I wouldn’t be able to figure out how to push him away again. I needed to fix this.
I needed to put an end to this before it was too late. I’d been confused before. Maybe it would be better now—maybe I could shake the gossamer strands, the petals, his warmth, and get back to normal.
I went to my knees and let my palms hit the ground, shivering as I closed my eyes. Changing from one form to the other had never been so difficult before.
It was usually as easy as breathing, as easy as my heartbeat.
As easy as instinct.
And now…
Now, it felt impossible.
The pain was back, streaking through my body and making me twist, jerking me forward until I nearly fell to the ground. I let out a low groan, trying to find the air to fill my lungs so I could tell the soul in front of me that this was his fault.
That he’d done this to me.
That he needed to tell me how to fix it.
I looked at him through my hair, my eyes stinging, vision swimming with agony… but it wasn’t his face that caught my attention.
There was something there, a faint light floating in the air.
No, not in the air. It was the strangest thing, a faint red line tinged with blue, making it an odd shade of violet. It stretched between us, from my chest to his.
Tethered.
It was the fucking petal I’d eaten, somehow tying me to him. I could see the lines of soulmates, so it made sense I could see this one too.
It was somehow keeping me stuck in this useless, human form that was forcing me to feel all these strange emotions I’d never felt before.
I needed to tear him apart. I needed to drag him back to the Lake and throw him into the still waters so Death could see this line between us and sever it.
“This isn’t what I’m supposed to be.” I looked at him almost helplessly. “I’m all wrong.”
His brows drew together, and the concern on his face was almost too much. Too beautiful to look at. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” His voice was so soft when he spoke. “It looks like we’re both a little lost.”
Lost.
I’d never felt more lost, and I’d existed for more centuries than I could remember. But I’d always had a solitary purpose, a single thing that drove me—my orders, my missions, my instincts.
Instincts that kept me still and silent now as he leaned forward, carefully brushing my hair from my eyes. “Maybe we can help each other?”
Help each other? I was here to destroy him, to end him. I wasn’t going to help him. I didn’t want to help him.
“Okay.” Logic and my instincts were apparently at war, and as always… it was my instincts that won. In the end, I really was nothing more than an animal, and apparently that animal side had decided that the man in front of me was a thing I needed to keep.