Chapter 10
ten
“What is your problem tonight?” Ryan asked, throwing his cards down on the table. “I’m out, by the way.”
“Who are you talking to?” I asked, tossing a chip to match Romeo’s raising of the stakes. I didn’t have a problem. There were exactly no problems in my life. Which didn’t explain why I was in such a foul mood.
“You, asshole.” Ryan took a pull of his beer. We were having our poker night at his father’s house, and his girlfriend Isabel, brought a bowl of chips to an end table next to us. “Thanks, baby,” he said, giving her a kiss. “You’re so sweet.”
“Excuse me while I vomit,” Alejandro said.
Isabel wasn’t offended. She just smiled at Ryan and the rest of us. “Don’t be mean or I won’t give you the hot wings I just made.”
“Wait, seriously?” Alejandro asked, practically drooling. “You are the most wonderful woman in the world.”
I stared at my hand, grateful for her distraction from Ryan’s irritating question. But it didn’t take him long to circle back around.
“Lewiston. You’re off your game. What’s going on?”
“I got shot this morning,” I said. “It pissed me off. I’m just in a bad mood.”
“That’s not what it is. I’ve seen you hurt worse than this.”
“I hate Ricardo Davis.” I took a card after Romeo. “That’s all it is.”
“It was more than that. You seemed to have hit a nerve with Ricardo’s sister-in-law. She was spitting mad.”
I slapped my cards down, annoyed. “Like I’m going to be if you don’t shut the fuck up. What, you get a girlfriend and now you’re all in touch with your feelings? Go to hell.”
Alejandro whistled. “Dude, chill.”
Ryan looked unperturbed by my attitude. He was the calmest of our crowd, anyway, and now that he was getting laid on the regular, he was really chill. He was like a giant lion lulling in the sun, his woman next to him. I was jealous of that contentment. It was like regular sex with the same chick had made him perpetually satisfied and who wouldn’t want that? I did. I just couldn’t have it.
Looking after Isabel, who had retreated into the kitchen again, Ryan just grinned. “I’m in touch with a lot of things. You should try it.”
“I’m good.” What I was, was plagued by memories of Olivia against my kitchen wall, her soft cries in my ear, her body clinging to mine. I couldn’t go into that room again without picturing her there. Without remembering the way she had smelled, sweet and tangy. I could never make a cup of coffee or fry an egg in peace again.
Romeo laid down his cards. “Actually, you’re out fifty bucks, motherfucker.” He had a full house.
Damn it. I tossed my cards. I had two jacks. Whatever. I glanced at my phone again for the fifteenth time. For some stupid reason I kept expecting Olivia to text me. Which was ridiculous. She had made it pretty damned clear she didn’t want to see me again.
“No money and no lady,” Alejandro said. “Sucks to be you.”
It did.
Not only was I lusting after Olivia, I was worried about her. I figured she was safe now that Benito had been paid, but it concerned me that she was identical in appearance to Eva. That was the whole reason she’d been kidnapped in the first place. What if someone was too stupid to realize she was Eva’s twin? That Ricardo’s wife wouldn’t be attending college classes or living in a small apartment.
“I don’t see you with a woman, Alejandro,” I said.
“No, because I don’t exclude myself to just one. I need to share all this with as many ladies as possible. It’s too good to allow just one to have all the fun.”
That did make me laugh. “Keep deluding yourself, asshole.” But Alejandro wasn’t bragging with nothing to back it up. He was the kind of guy who was always smiling and laughing and women liked him. He coaxed even the most aloof and jaded girls to giggle and get naked with him.
“I’m going out tonight. Want to join me and see who gets more digits?”
I debated going. It sure as hell beat sitting at home and thinking about Olivia. But at the same time, I wasn’t in the mood to party. I would find the scene irritating. “No, thanks.”
“I thought so. Afraid to lose.”
That made me roll my eyes. The only thing I was losing was my patience. Normally hanging out with the guys was a good way to blow off steam, talk shit, and feel bad ass. But now I was just restless. I was only a few blocks from Olivia’s apartment, and she was all I could think about.
“He definitely sounds chicken shit,” Ryan agreed.
Normally, ribbing didn’t bother me, but I was on edge. “Yeah, well, easy for you to say. Not everyone has a stepsister they can date. You didn’t even have to leave your house to nail her.”
Ryan’s nostrils flared.
Romeo’s jaw dropped. “Man, that’s a little rude. He wasn’t even living here, you know that.”
Yeah, I knew that. I was just being a dick because I was in a nasty mood. “What, everyone else is allowed to give shit, but I can’t? Fine, I’m heading out.”
I was going to drive by Olivia’s, make sure she was all right. That would let me sleep better. They all looked at me like I’d lost my mind, but no one argued with me. I left the Spanish-style house, for once not jealous of the cool-ass house Ryan had grown up in with his father, our boss at Miami Security, Mickey Harris. I always hated that I succumbed to such a petty emotion as jealousy, but today I could give a shit about not feeling like I fit in anywhere, that I had no childhood home. That I was the mixed race kid who didn’t belong with the Haitians, or the Latinos, or the whites, even though my genetics could be traced to all three.
None of that usual shit was on my mind because I was focused on Olivia.
What I didn’t expect to see when I drove past her building was her, leaving with a short brunette, both wearing short skirts and high heels. Olivia’s hair looked curled and fluffed and she carried a sparkly little purse. They were going out. Fuck and fuck. That seemed like a lousy idea. And clearly she wasn’t feeling as wrecked as I since she planned to hit the clubs for a girls’ night out.
So, I decided to follow her. Because I was protecting her. Not because I was jealous. Or anything like that at all.
Not jealous at all. Nope. Not even when she went into a hot club on Ocean Drive and danced with a parade of guys, while I hung back and watched her like a stalker. I felt like a stalker. I felt pissed off and horny and betrayed. My arm was throbbing and a glance down in the men’s room had showed it was enflamed and red. I should have used the antibacterial cream and bandages Olivia had bought me. She was right. I was stubborn.
I was drinking too much. I had a buzz from multiple shots of tequila. But every time some guy approached Olivia and she smiled or laughed, I needed a drink. The club was loud, the lights pulsating, and I had a headache back behind my eyes, mingling with the alcohol buzz in a bad romance that wasn’t going to end well.
The bouncer approached me and said, “Hey, man, you need to come with me.”
I reacted defensively. “I have a conceal and carry,” I said, assuming he was going to toss me because of my gun in the back of my waistband.
But he shook his head and thumbed in the direction of the offices. If Ricardo Davis owned this fucking club I was going to lose my shit. So I stalked over to the office with him, brimming with attitude. But once inside, when I could actually speak without shouting, I was speechless when I realized he was pulling out a first aid kit.
“Man, you can’t be bleeding all over the club. Airborne pathogens and shit. Just wrap your arm.”
I glanced down. I was bleeding again, a sluggish red river weaving around my elbow. “Sorry. I didn’t even realize it had opened up again.”
The guy was older, more like my mom’s age. “You okay, buddy?”
“I’m fine.” Such a lie. I wasn’t fine at all. I was feeling things. Fucking feelings. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”
“Maybe loosen up a little. Dance with a girl or something. That’s kind of the point of going to a club, you know.”
“I thought the point was to go and watch the girl you’re into dance with other guys until you got so drunk you made a scene and embarrassed the fuck out of yourself.”
He laughed. “Or you could do that.”
“Your idea sounds smarter.” I rubbed my head, thinking I needed to drink some water. I was getting too fuzzy for my taste, especially since I was carrying a gun. “I’m going to go get some water.”
He reached behind the desk and into a mini-fridge. “Save yourself the trip to the bar.” He tossed me a bottled water and I caught it.
“Thanks.” I held my hand out and shook his. “I owe you.”
Sometimes a total stranger got you to pull your head out of your ass more so than your own friends could.
I went back to my seat, chugged the water and debated whether I should catch an Uber. Olivia hadn’t seen me, but she didn’t look like she was going to be leaving anytime soon. I’d seen nothing suspicious or anyone I knew to be involved with Benito. Maybe I needed to take my sorry ass home.
But then after maneuvering around a group of girls, I came face-to-face to Olivia.
If I had been feeling irritated, the look of her face said she was downright furious.
It made me smile.
The fact that Wester could smile after stalking me all night like some self-appointed cock-block, made my head want to explode. When you’re in the midst of an identity crisis, suffering from PTSD, and completely wasted on vodka and Red Bull, the last person you want to see is the guy you hooked up with. Like those are just rules. If a girl goes out to forget about a guy, he has a lot of fucking nerve to be exactly where she is trying to get over him.
Not that I needed to get over Wester. I just needed to forget him and what had happened. Too buzzed to be discreet, I poked a finger into his chest. “What are you doing here?” I asked. “Are you stalking me?”
He had on black jeans that he wore really, really well, and one of those form-fitting T-shirts that showed all of his muscles. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to yank his shirt up and lick his chest. Damn it.
“I’m your bodyguard,” he said. “I’m guarding your body.”
Holy crap, why did he have to say that? My nipples hardened, remembering what he could do to me. I wished I wasn’t standing so I could cross my legs and quiet the ache he’d immediately brought to life. “You don’t need to do anything with my body.”
It was the wrong thing to say. The corner of his mouth went up in that sly, sexy smile that made me lose all inhibitions. “No?” he murmured. “There’s nothing you need me to do with your body? To your body? Nothing at all?”
That had me flustered, despite my intentions to stay angry and nothing more. “You’re supposed to be staying away from me.”
“I never agreed to that. I said I wouldn’t see you again.”
I frowned. “It’s loud in here, so obviously I heard you wrong because those are the same thing.”
“Who is this and does he have a friend?” Clara asked, tugging on my arm.
“He’s leaving.” Though I couldn’t resist pointing out the bandage on Wester’s arm. “By the way, I see you finally came to your senses and wrapped that wound.”
He shrugged, then turned to Clara and put out his hand. “I’m Wester, Olivia’s bodyguard.”
“You have a bodyguard?” Clara squawked, blinking at me with glassy and drunken eyes. “Shut. Up.”
“He belongs to Ricardo,” I said, because I knew that was rude and I was feeling petty. I couldn’t believe he was following me. I had been dancing with a bear of a guy who kept attempting to grind on me off-rhythm, but then I had glanced over and spotted Wester. It had instantly ruined my night. At first I had thought it was a coincidence or he might go away, but no, he had lingered. Watching me.
His eyes narrowed and I knew I had pushed it too far. That was just mean to refer to him as Ricardo’s property. So I masked my discomfit with more sarcasm. “Shouldn’t you be dancing with some hottie, Mr. 305? All you need is designer sunglasses and every girl in here will be all over you.”
“But then no one could see my beautiful eyes. Remember, you said how beautiful they are.” The smirk was back.
I had. Because they were. “Clara, can you go get me a drink?”
“No. This is way too good to miss.”
I turned and glared at her. “Please.”
“Fine.” She made a face. “Don’t leave me by myself though.”
“I would never do that!” I wouldn’t. The girl code didn’t allow it. “If anyone is leaving, it’s Wester. I’m going outside with him for two minutes. I’ll be right back.”
“I’ve been summoned,” Wester told Clara, giving her a wink. “Hold down the fort.”
I rolled my eyes. I breezed past the bouncer and stepped out onto the sidewalk. The air humid, as usual, and windy. My hair whipped across my face. I was never into South Beach on the best days, and now the press of the crowds walking past the club and the glare of the lights was really not helping my mood. This was supposed to fun. I had sort of been having fun until Wester had appeared. But not really. I didn’t want men grinding on me. Unless they were Wester.
“What did you want to say?” he asked me, putting his hands into his pockets. My eyes inadvertently went to his crotch. I couldn’t see anything but I knew what was there.
I had forgotten what I was planning to say. I was confused and freaked out and it was all his fault. “This is a disaster,” I wailed, too drunk to hold back the swell of emotion.
He looked alarmed and who could blame him? I was acting like a split personality. Furious one minute, crying the next. “What are you talking about?”
“I can’t see you, don’t you understand? I can’t be living my life and then look out into the crowd and there you are at random intervals. It’s… disruptive.” It was too much of a reminder. Of warm skin and fear and finding an anchor in his eyes.
Someone walked by smoking a cigarette and the smoke blew right in my face.
“Watch it,” Wester said to the guy.
The guy glared back. “Chill, it was an accident.”
“See, I don’t need you to do that for me,” I said, gesturing at the man’s back as he kept walking. “I don’t need you to be my muscle. That’s not a thing I need in my world. My real life, far away from my sister’s life.”
“But now you’re in your sister’s world, too. You need protection and if Ricardo can’t or won’t provide it, I’m going to. It’s my moral responsibility.”
“I don’t want to be anyone’s moral responsibility.” Now there was every woman’s fantasy. Talk about feeling like a burden.
“Don’t be stubborn out of pride.”
“I could say the exact same thing to you. You don’t need to do this. It’s not your problem. I’m not your problem.”
He looked away, down the street. The traffic was thick, as it always was, and a motorcycle was idling near us on the corner of 11 th Street. When I was an undergrad, I had thought I would want to live here, but now it was too noisy for me. But Wester looked like he belonged there. He was pretty enough. Cool enough. Sexy enough. I was out of my element, despite the cobalt blue heels I was sporting.
When he finally looked back at me, I almost took a step back. He looked fierce. Hungry.
“You’re not my problem, you’re my goddamn solution. Because my problem is I’ve only known you for thirty some hours and I can’t stop thinking about you.”
I had the same problem. It was a good and a bad thing.
“I can’t get the taste of you off my tongue.”
Oh, my word, that sounded so damn sexy when he said that.
“And I can’t take no for an answer. I know you want me to disappear, but I can’t do that, Olivia. I can’t walk away from you.”
I was drunk, but he had lost his mind. Even though when I looked at him I was drawn straight into his orbit and wanted to live inside the sensual world he created. This couldn’t work. I didn’t even know what he was suggesting. There was a lump in my throat and I swallowed hard. Masking my emotions was close to impossible on the best of days, but now I knew whatever I was feeling was clearly displayed. Fortunately, it was mostly confusion. “What do you mean?” I whispered.
“I mean.” He took a step toward me and put his hands on my bare shoulders. I almost jumped out of my skin. “I want this to be real.”
Oh, no. No, no, no, and no. He was not going to mess with my head like this. I couldn’t handle him offering something impulsively that he didn’t really mean. My cheeks felt flushed. “Wester, you don’t have to do this. You don’t owe me anything. I’m a big girl. I knew what I was doing this afternoon.”
He threw his hands up in exasperation. “This isn’t me trying to make it right. I want to get to know you. I think I kind of might actually sort of like you.”
After that bit of stupid sunk in, I actually burst out laughing. It was probably a major concession for Wester, but that was a very lukewarm declaration. “Thanks. I think I like you, too, but it could just be the trauma.”
For a second he looked offended, then he gave a snort. “You’re a piece of work.”
“I’m drunk, that’s what I am.”
“So are you saying yes? Or if you say yes now will you change your mind when you’re sober?”
“What am I saying yes to?” I needed clarification. Specifics. Because I was buzzed and I was starting to think he was too.
“To me. To a date.”
The most ridiculous girlish delight rolled over me. He wanted to date me. He maybe sort of actually liked me. He wanted to kiss me. It was hard to keep my cool when I was so insanely giddy. “Just one? I guess I can do that.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Isn’t one usually a precursor to two?”
“Only in the first one goes well. It’s like an audition.” For once, I felt like I had the upper hand with Wester. This seemed almost painful to him.
“Fine. Friday night. I’ll pick you up at eight.”
He took a step forward and I knew he was going to kiss me. “Nope.” I put my hand over his mouth. “Not before the first date. And I’m definitely not going home with you tonight so don’t ask.” That was next, I could tell.
His powers of persuasion were too great for me to resist if he landed even one kiss and if he wanted this, whatever this was, to be real, then we needed to start at the beginning.
He looked completely bewildered. “Why not? We’ve already had sex. Twice.”
As if I needed reminding. “How can we date if we’re hooking up? The sex needs to stop until at least the fourth date.”
Now his jaw dropped. “What kind of bullshit is that?”
“That’s how people date! That’s how relationships start. Haven’t you had a girlfriend before?”
He looked away. “Not since I was eighteen. I’m more of a love ‘em and leave ‘em kind of guy.”
Well, this should be a complete and utter disaster then. But I didn’t care. I was stupid and drunk and wildly attracted to Wester and I just didn’t give a shit. “These are the rules of play. You want in the game or not?”
His eyes narrowed. “Oh, I’m in. I’ll all in. And I play to win.”
I spun on my heel. It would have been a great move except for the fact that I wobbled a little bit. “Then I’ll see you on Friday when you have an epic first date planned for me.”
When I glanced back at him I briefly saw panic before he schooled his features. “Excellent. I’ll see you Friday.”
Just before I went back into the club I said, “And no changing your mind if you wake up sober tomorrow and realize this is a bad idea.”
“Same for you.”
“Unfortunately for you, I never change my mind, especially when it’s a bad idea. It’s my character flaw.”
“Then I would say we’re a perfect fit, because I’m the same way.” He gave me a smile. “And there are no good or bad ideas. Just experiences.”
He’d said that to me the night we’d met, on Ricardo’s patio. Not even forty-eight hours ago, but it felt like a million years. “I think that’s called justification.”
“Don’t overthink it. Text me when you’re home safe.”
I wasn’t going to overthink at all. I was going to dive witlessly into what was sure to be a full-on disaster, but I was going to wring every second of pleasure that I could from it in the meantime. “See, that’s on point. Much more normal guy-girl than you stalking me.”
“Oh, I’m still going to do that too. You’re getting the full package.”
Fabulous. “I’m already had the full package from you. It’s almost more than I can handle.” Yeah, I was drunk. Otherwise I never would have said that out loud.
His eyes narrowed. “Go inside the club, Olivia, before I break all your rules and take you home.”
I ran inside, afraid that if anything was going to break, it was going to be my heart.