Chapter 29
Fifteen Years Earlier
It had been three days since our explosive dinner with Magnolia, and Lincoln and I had exchanged precisely five bare-bones
texts. Even my best girlfriends told me I was wrong—that I, the one who knew Magnolia, should’ve done everything necessary
to avoid that encounter.
“Having him lie about his family to your mom is as good as telling him he’s not good enough.”
“Did you even warn him in the least?”
“I’m not surprised he wants space—and maybe for a while, Mack.”
These were things my best friends had said, the ones who were usually rife with forget that guy or he wishes.
Probably because everyone loved Lincoln. He had no pretense; what you saw was what you got, and my eyes couldn’t find an insincere
or ugly part to him—even if he was a bit overly obsessed with financial planning for a twentysomething.
Lincoln wasn’t taking my calls, so I’d apologized via text. He’d said it was ok, but again, it was over text and unconvincing.
Plus, I was faced with the reality of his absence, a test run of what my life would be like without him. I didn’t want our
summer to end; I loved having him around. Maybe somewhere deep inside I loved him too.
Which made my appalling display at dinner even more regrettable.
So there I was at his door, knocking with an offering of the chocolate cake doughnuts he loved and I hated, hoping I could
get us back on track.
He didn’t exactly look thrilled to see me when the door swung open. He wore khaki shorts and an old concert T-shirt. It reminded
me of the night we met. “Hey.”
I held out the doughnuts. “A peace offering.”
Lincoln stepped back and lifted a hand. “Come on in.”
I dropped the doughnuts on his countertop, cluttered with mail and cups and take-out containers. He might’ve been a good guy,
but his cleanliness was on par with the rest of his gender.
“I know I said it over text, but I want to say it in person: I’m sorry. I thought I was protecting you from being stomped
all over by the Dragon. I know how much that hurts, and I didn’t want that for you. But instead, I just hurt you.” I looked
right into his eyes. “I should’ve thought the whole thing through, at least discussed it more, but it just felt like it should
be easy breezy like everything else with us. That’s the thing about us—it just comes so naturally.”
He dropped his hands at his sides. “Look, I don’t blame you, Mack. I believe that you didn’t mean for things to go the way
they did, but it’s just that you have to understand that they went that way for a reason.”
“Yes, because I shouldn’t have jumped in,” I said. “I should’ve let you do your thing, and it would’ve been fine.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.” Lincoln shrugged. “Honestly, it went that way because we come from two very different places. Magnolia
is a big part of your life, and we both know she’s not going to let you branch out from that. From her and her ways.”
“You’re right. She’s got way too much sway over me,” I said. “It’s something I want to change.”
“It’s probably not something that’ll resolve itself before the end of the summer,” Lincoln said.
“No, stop. I’m doing better at keeping her at bay every day—especially now that I’m here, and she’s an hour and a half away.”
I took his hands. “And there’s another thing I’ve been thinking about. Maybe if I could find my dad, it would remove some
of her hold on me. If I had a real-life second parent, I’d have more family than just her.”
Lincoln’s face twisted in confusion. “I don’t know, Mack. I think this thing is between the two of you Magnolias.”
“But it’s worth a try,” I said. “I’ve always wanted to know him, and it could make over my entire family tree. What if I have
half siblings? What if there were more people I could call my own?”
Lincoln leaned on his counter, looking at the floor. “I think that’s a you thing, Mack.”
I crossed my arms, a flash of anger in my chest. “So this is it? You’re done?”
He looked up and over at me. “I don’t want it to be.” His voice was tender, and he turned and walked closer. “But this whole
thing with your dad... It’s sort of a big deal, and I just don’t think it’s right to tie it to anything to do with us—or
me. I wouldn’t feel right about you doing it on my account.”
My hopes swelled at the sight of him moving in my direction and the gentle rumble of his voice. “No, of course,” I said. “It
wouldn’t be for you. It would be for me because I want to. I think it would help me, as a person in general—especially if
I want to be in a lasting relationship at any point in my life.”
I kept it general so I didn’t let on that he was the one who came to mind right away. The facts of him and me together might not add up, but everything about my feelings for him did. Still, I’d already come close to scaring him off, thanks to my mother. Coming back too hot and heavy was a risk I wasn’t willing to take. I might feel desperate to keep him, but I certainly didn’t want to look it.
Lincoln reached out and set his hands on my waist. “We’ve already got the summer clock ticking down, so why not enjoy what
time we have left?”
I dropped into him, wrapping my arms around him, and the feeling of his arms around me was pure relief. I hadn’t lost him.
“Well, yes and no on the timing.” I pulled back to look at him. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind us going past summer. What do you
think?”
Lincoln grinned. “Definitely no more dinners with your mother, but we can see how things go.”
I shuddered. “Definitely not.” I let out a deep sigh. “I hate that she’s all I’ve got.”
Lincoln released me from his grip and guided me over to the sofa. He sat, and when he tapped my leg to lift my feet into his
lap, I really believed he’d forgiven me. “So when you say she’s all you’ve got, what is the deal with your dad?”
I hated talking about it, but I trusted Lincoln. And that seemed as good a time as any to spill, considering my latest thoughts
on the matter.
“I don’t have much information,” I said. “Ok, any information, not even his name. Magnolia says he’s a bad guy, dark and twisted , et cetera, et cetera, and maybe she’s right.”
“But do you really think your mother would be with someone that bad?” Lincoln pulled a face. “As far as I can tell, she’s
picky about most things. Hard to believe her being flexible on picking a lover.”
“Skipping right past the concept of Magnolia having sex.” I shook myself out in a full-body wiggle to dislodge the thought. “I totally agree. She’s always surrounded herself with the ‘right type of people.’ Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s a great guy she just froze out. He probably wouldn’t agree to get the car she wanted or buy the house she wanted, and keeping me from him was her payback. I mean, it’s at least halfway plausible.”
Lincoln stared off, like he was thinking, and in the quiet my mind went to the next place it always did.
“And yes, Magnolia could’ve misjudged someone,” I said. “You and I both know from our very recent experience how wrong she
can be about people. But I think I’ve lived not knowing for too long.”
“You’re sure this isn’t about the dinner, right?” Lincoln asked. “This sounds serious.”
I sat upright and folded my hands in my lap. “I’m sure,” I said. “And I am serious about this. I realized over the last few days that Magnolia may very well never approve of the life I want to choose
for myself. Whether it be a partner, a job, a home, whatever it might be, she’s got a very specific idea of what I should
be doing.”
“And maybe your dad could be someone else to support you in being who you want to be?” Lincoln asked.
“Exactly,” I said. “And I’ve wondered for too long now how my life might’ve been different with him.”
Lincoln reached out and squeezed my arm. “It’s up to you, Mack. Always will be.”
I smiled tentatively and dropped into his side. Lincoln wound his arm around me, and I stayed there. Before long we found
our typical rhythm, turning on the TV, eventually poking fun and laughing out loud. I meant it when I said being with him
was easy breezy. Maybe after we’d survived the Magnolia challenge, the greatest of all from where I sat, the bond between
us had grown stronger.
It felt impossible that he wouldn’t see the same thing. He had to feel it too. It was like a physical being by now, the love between us.
He just had to feel the same way.