6. Javier
CHAPTER 6
“I need a verb.” Em tapped her pen on the counter while I rinsed a pot of rice.
This was at least the tenth Mad Lib this evening, and I was running out of words, so I reached for the familiar. “Murder.”
She giggled and jotted it down. “Adverb?”
“Hauntingly.”
“Is that an adverb or an adjective?”
Oh, now she wanted to be picky? “I think it can be either.” Did it really matter?
She hummed and wrote it down. I filled the pot with water, sat it on the stove, and turned the flame on high.
“Adjective.”
Annoying. “Funny.”
“You already said that before.”
“Like five stories ago.”
She sighed. “A noun.”
“Marco.” The man I hoped was going to be hauntingly murdered for buying her the stupid book. It was supposed to keep her entertained, but it was driving me insane.
“That’s a proper noun. I’ll use it below, but I still need a noun.”
I glanced around the kitchen for inspiration I hadn’t already used. “Cheese grater.”
“Oh, that’s a good one.” She wrote it down, then read the story we created about an ice-cream man who ended up murdering Marco, who didn’t like his ice cream, in a hauntingly funny fashion using a cheese grater.
I cringed. “Are you sure these are for children?”
“Yeah, but I don’t think they expect them to use such violent words.” She closed the book, and I nearly wept with joy. “Can I help?”
She never volunteered to cook, and we stopped asking after the third meal she had destroyed. It was for our safety as much as hers that we kept her occupied, away from the stove. Or air fryer. Or cutting board. Or spices. Even the measuring spoons.
“I’ve got things handled.”
“I’m bored,” she complained.
I chuckled. I was used to having three children around; adding a fourth to keep entertained was going to take some getting used to.
I waggled my brows. “I can think of something we can do.”
She eyed me while biting on her lip. “Do we have time?”
Shit. I couldn’t leave the stove right now, and it was my turn to cook.
“Why don’t you just relax? Put on a movie or read a book.” I pulled out the stir-fry vegetables from the fridge and began washing them.
“That’s boring.” She dropped her chin to the counter. “I want a mission.”
I already used up that favor when I asked Rod to give Em something to do. I was worried she was going to pull the drywall apart if she didn’t find activities to keep her mind busy, but that was a one-off. We couldn’t risk her being seen by any of Dias’s or Brazzi’s men.
I began chopping up the carrots. “Fresh out, I’m afraid. Ask Derek to train.”
“He’s too easy to beat.”
I chuckled. “Cruz should be home soon.”
“I’m not used to free time.” She sighed and traced the veins in the granite.
Obviously. After two days off, she declared she’d done everything there was to do in the apartment at least three times. Marco had run to the store to buy her books, puzzles, and video games, but that only entertained her for another day. Even with the impromptu mission, she wasn’t satisfied.
Now, nothing held her interest for longer than an hour. I was ready to call Rod and beg him to put us back in the field.
“You never just chilled at home?”
Her eyes met mine. “No. Growing up, it was training and school. Then once I graduated, it was training and missions.”
“Every day?”
“Yeah. If I didn’t have an assignment, I spent the whole day in the gym or running outside if the weather was nice.”
“How old were you when you started?”
We’d been late to the Velez build-a-soldier program. Emilia’s brows raised before she answered what was probably a basic question for those raised in the Pack.
“Everyone starts training at five. At least the kids at headquarters do. It’s just a part of school. I got more into it than most of the other girls. By the time I was ten, I was either training or doing homework when I was done with class.”
“And you were okay with that?”
She didn’t answer immediately but continued moving her finger in distracted curves along the counter. “I didn’t know any different. From what I saw, I could either train or breed. I hated the lives my mom and sisters had. I couldn’t imagine surviving a single day in their shoes, so I chose to train.”
“What if there was a third option?” This was dangerous territory. Playing the what-if game typically didn’t lead to happiness.
“Like what?”
“Like finding what you’re passionate about and pursuing it.”
She smirked. “That’s not possible. Not in the Pack.”
“What about outside of our world? With the rest of the shifters.”
She slowly sat up. “If I could do anything?”
I nodded.
“I’m not sure what I’d be good at. I’m okay at coaching, but I wouldn’t want to do it more than a few hours a week. I’m not very good at math or science. Being a healer was never an option. I did well enough in most of my classes at school, but I didn’t love anything,” she said, staring at a point over my shoulder. “Geography was my favorite class back in elementary school. I’d like to see more of the world, try different things, and maybe find that thing I’m good at.”
“One day, we’ll explore the world together.”
She scoffed. “Sure.”
The front door slammed. I flipped the chicken in the pan, and Cruz walked in with a long black garment bag over his shoulder.
“What’s that?”
“A gift,” he grumbled.
“For?”
“Em?” He waved the bag like a matador teasing a bull.
“Yeah?” She eyed it, then me and Cruz as she slid off the stool and approached him.
“That’s what it says.” He pointed to the small white envelope pinned to the outside.
She took the hanger and draped it over the back of the couch, detaching the note and reading it silently.
“What’s it say?” Cruz was as impatient as I was.
She sighed. “It’s an apology. Alessio wants me to give him another chance.”
Of course he did. So much for giving her space. She barely had a week to get over him kidnapping her.
“What’s inside?” Cruz pressed again.
She slid open the zipper and froze.
I put a lid on the pan and lowered the heat before going to her other side.
It was a red dress.
“Pretty,” Cruz commented.
“It’s the one I was staring at the first day I met Ama,” the corners of her lips twitched like she was fighting back a grin.
I huffed. Well, shit. That was pretty smooth on his part.
She shot me a smirk, then zipped up the bag and stepped back. “I asked him to give me space.”
“You did,” I agreed.
“Has it been long enough?” She didn’t look at either of us, just stared at the note like it might explode.
“That’s only something you can decide.” I stopped myself from touching her and comforting her. She didn’t need more pressure. How to deal with Alessio was truly up to her.
“Do the teams need more time?”she asked.
Cruz shook his head. We’d been giving Emilia time and waiting for Rod to let us know the beta team was in place. We didn’t want her to see Dias before she was ready, but they were now set and waiting for a signal.
“The next step is in place,” Cruz said.
She inhaled and pulled her shoulders back. “I’ll call him.”
“You don’t have to right now. You can make him wait a bit,” he offered.
She leaned against the couch, looking at each of us. “The longer I put it off, the harder it will be to get back into the swing of things. Being with you guys… It makes me not want to go back at all, but I have to.”
I reached out and took her hand. “We understand. None of us want you to go back to him either.”
“No, we really don’t.” Cruz slipped his arm around her shoulders, and she leaned her head against his.
“This is dangerous.” Her hickory eyes flashed to mine.
“Since when have you ever worried about that? You’ve proven you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself. Plus, Derek will always be close by.”
“No, not the mission.” She twisted her lips. “This.”
She squeezed my hand and shut her eyes, sighing into Cruz.
He and I stared at each other. This felt big. She was telling us she cared about us in more than a physical way.
“We’ll always be here,” he murmured into her dark, wavy hair.
“No. You won’t.” She blinked down at the floor. “Once this is over, we’ll all go home. You four will be together, and I’ll be alone again.”
I tugged on her hand, willing her to look at me, but she didn’t. “Maybe not. You have a say in your life. If you want to be with us, we can make that happen.”
She only had to ask, and we’d destroy the world for her.
Fuck what our Alpha or Pack wanted for her. She’d done more than enough to warrant a say in her own life. This mission could be her leverage. If we got Rod to agree, he could help her lessen the ties to the Pack’s base. She wouldn’t need to retire or even take different missions. She’d just live with us.
Why wouldn’t the Alpha approve?
I couldn’t think of a legitimate argument, but that didn’t mean El Lobo or his council would agree.
Her sad smile nearly broke me. “Let’s worry about that later. We still have to survive this before we move on to our next battle.”
She didn’t want to get her hopes up. If anyone could understand keeping your expectations low to protect yourself, it was the four of us. We’d known more loss and disappointment than anyone should.
“I’ll call him.” She repeated with more determination.
She went back to my room, and I expected her to stay for privacy. Instead, she came out, took Cruz’s hand, and leaned against me as she tapped his name on her phone.
It rang only once before he answered. She didn’t need to put it on speaker for us to hear his booming voice perfectly.
“Millie.” Dias sounded as relieved as I would have been in his position.
“Hi, Alessio.” She sighed. “I got your gift.”
“You did? Good.”
“Thank you. The dress is beautiful. I’m surprised you remembered it.”
He chuckled. “I immediately pictured you in it and knew I had to see it in person one day.”
She dropped her head against my shoulder, and I wrapped my arm around her waist.
“I know a gift doesn’t make up for everything that happened. Nothing can, but I want you to know how sorry I am. I swore to keep you safe, and I failed repeatedly.”
“That’s not what made me mad. I have no doubt that if someone entered the room with a gun aimed at me, you’d do whatever you could to protect me. I never doubted that.”
There was a beat of silence. “Then why did you leave?”
He couldn’t possibly be that thick.
She shook her head, and Cruz’s shoulders rocked as he silently laughed.
“I was terrified. From the moment you called your guards to being shoved into a safe room and then whisked away in a helicopter without you telling me where we were going. It wasn’t just knowing your mom’s house was under attack and the fact that it was happening at all. She told me it was probably a robbery, but she knew it wasn’t. You knew it wasn’t. Your enemy sent men after me, to do fuck knows what.” She sucked in a breath, and I rubbed her back.
“I’m so sorry. I needed you to trust me to take care of you.”
“But that’s the problem. I can’t trust you. I don’t even feel like I know who you are anymore,” she shot back.
“Millie.” He sounded physically wounded. “You know me. The real me. Isn’t that what matters?”
“No!” She paused and shot me a wicked look. “You’re not just a land developer or club owner, are you?”
My brows shot up. She was calling him out? That was risky.
“Some of my businesses are more complicated.” That was probably the closest he’d get to admitting anything to her, at least over the phone.
“Are you in danger?”
“No.” His confident answer didn’t jibe with the home invasion just a few nights ago or the war he’d started since.
“Am I?”
He hesitated. “Not anymore.”
Her eyes widened at me and Cruz. He bobbed his chin to prompt her to get more information.
“What does that mean?”
“I’ve taken care of the Italians.”
I shook my head. Beyond an initial retaliation, he hadn’t. At least, not in a noticeable way.
She closed her eyes. “That isn’t reassuring in the way you might think.”
Cruz turned away, laughing with his hand over his mouth while she put her hand over her forehead.
“I’m trying to tell you there’s nothing to worry about now.”
“Well, you’re making it sound like you’re a mobster or something.”
Cruz dropped onto the couch face-first, his shoulders bouncing. Em looked up at me with pleading eyes as if I could fix him or Alessio.
I shrugged.
“Mobster?” Dias choked out a laugh. “I wish I was that interesting.”
She rolled her eyes. “Good.”
“So can I take you out soon? I miss you.”
“I have a few conditions.”
“Anything.”
She put her arms around my waist, and I held her to me. “No helicopters.”
“We won’t even use a boat,” he confirmed.
“No guns.”
“Security only. I won’t carry.”
“I’m keeping my guard with me at all times from now on.”
I turned toward her and raised a brow, and she shrugged. That must have been something she’d just come up with or she would have mentioned it before. I wasn’t going to argue. Having one of us around as much as possible was ideal at this point.
“That’s not necessary.”
“I feel that it is.” I loved her determination. This was our Em, not a damsel in distress. “I want him to have a room at your house when I stay over.”
“Millie.” He sounded exasperated.
“That’s the deal. I have my own security, or we’re over.”
“Fine.” He sighed. “Anything else?”
She paused and I mouthed an answer in a hushed whisper. “Last strike. One more mess up and…” I made a cutting gesture at my neck with the blade of my hand.
She nodded and spoke. “I’m serious, Alessio. I want nothing but your very best behavior. One more attack or fight, and I’m done.”
“Thank you, amor. I won’t let you regret it.”
I cocked my head and mouthed, “Let you?”
Her pinched brows told me she didn’t like that wording either.
But Dias sounded relieved. Hopefully, he appreciated the second chance. “There’s a party tomorrow evening, and I was hoping you’d accompany me.”
She scrunched her nose. “Do I get to wear the dress?”
He chuckled. “It would be perfect. I can’t wait to see you in it.”
Cruz lifted his head and mouthed, “Where?”
“Where is this party?” She asked.
“It’s one of my new places. We just finished remodeling, and I want you to see it.”
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“I’ll pick you up at eight.”
“Send me the address. Me and my security will see you there.” I wanted to kiss the smirk off her lips.
“Of course,” he replied smoothly.
Em hung up and dropped the phone next to where Cruz was lying on his side, watching her.
“You did good.” He offered a smile.
She chuckled, leaning back against me. “I give him a week.”
“That’s generous.” I kissed the top of her head.
Cruz went to the kitchen. “At least he’ll be too distracted with you and finding a way to neutralize Brazzi to see us coming. Should make things easy for us.”
“He’ll probably think it’s them,” she said against my shirt before stepping back.
“That’s a good point,” I agreed and kissed her cheek before going to the stove.
The chicken was done, and the sauce thickened while we dealt with Dias. “Can you let Derek and Marco know dinner’s ready?”
“Sure.” She went down the hall, and the security room door squeaked open.
I turned to Cruz. “This is the perfect time to attack. Maybe we should have the beta team move up their schedule.”
He nodded while pulling out plates. “Anything to get this over with sooner.”
I dished out the rice and covered it with the chicken and veggies as my brothers filed in with Em.
“So I’m going out with him tomorrow. Derek will have full access, including a room in his house,” she explained, then looked at him. “But you have to promise to remain professional. No remarks. No facial expressions. No getting mad at what you see or hear. When I’m there, I’m Millie.”
She lifted to her toes and quickly kissed him. He closed his eyes and nodded.
“I know.”
I didn’t envy him. I wasn’t sure I could stay in control if I had to see her with Dias all day…and night.
“It’s not like Dias could have said no to you. He didn’t really have a leg to stand on,” Cruz grumbled.
“He didn’t bother arguing. I said his men have proven to be incompetent time and time again, and I was either leaving for good or bringing my own security.”
“That leaves an opening for us to come in if needed as well,” Javi replied with a smile.
While she finished catching them up, Cruz passed out the plates, and Marco poured five glasses of wine. The seamless way we moved around one another, anticipating the others without having to speak, was as normal as breathing for us. Em stepped in, handing out the glasses with napkins under each. She was a new addition, but it worked without us having to adjust.
She belonged with us.
I’d known for the past few weeks, but watching each of them fall apart when we had to leave her in danger was the final nail.
We loved her. We were falling in love with her. The five of us fit in a way I never allowed myself to imagine. Men like us, abandoned pups with no one to guide or fight for us, didn’t have the happy endings others in the Pack found. We were the misfits, the rejects who were incredibly lucky to have one another.
But being on our own wasn’t enough anymore.The memories of our old life were in black and white, while being with Em was full color.
How could any of us go back home and pretend like this mission hadn’t changed everything?
“Boss?” Derek nudged my shoulder.
I blinked. “Huh?”
“We were discussing tomorrow night. I’m still on guard duty, but we should think about keeping a second close from now on.”
“The two of us should be enough,” Em mumbled with her mouth full before stuffing in another forkful.
I suppressed a laugh. Her enjoying my cooking was such a simple thing that brought me so much joy. She didn’t need to rave or compliment me. The way she devoured it was better. Warmth filled my chest, pathetic sap that I was.
“From now on, you’ll be in the same room, always within eyeline.” I turned to Marco. “You’ll be on feeds. Cruz will be outside as backup. I’ll be on location, overseeing the beta team.”
“Do you know which club he’s taking me to?” she asked between bites.
“He said it just finished the remodel.” Cruz reached for his phone and tapped the screen.
“The dress is pretty fancy. I hope he isn’t setting me up to be overdressed.” She lifted her glass to her lips and took a long drink.
“One of his top guys mentioned a party three days ago on the feeds.” Derek put his phone onto the counter and slid it so Em could see the video.
The conversation was quiet, but I vaguely recognized the man talking about a twenties theme.
Marco shrugged. “That could be it. I’ll let you know if he sends any texts or emails about it.”
“Thanks.” Em finished her wine, and Derek refilled her glass before she had a chance to ask. “You’re wonderful.”
She smiled at him with the same love and admiration he felt for her.
I wanted to freeze moments like this or find a way to block out the rest of the world and the passage of time so we could enjoy them for as long as we wanted.
“Shit.” Marco jumped up from his stool. “Beta’s leader is calling.”
He rushed back to the surveillance room, and Cruz quickly finished off his food before taking his and Marco’s plates to the sink and rinsing them off. He loaded them into the dishwasher and then hurried to follow.
Em watched it all with a smirk.
“What?” I asked.
She looked at me and Derek. “Just thinking about how well trained I have you guys.”
Derek shook his head but didn’t protest. “We’ve come so far since the first day you arrived. Not a single pizza box or beer can in sight.”
She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Good boy.”