25. All Systems GO
TWENTY-FIVE
ALL SYSTEMS GO
Holt
After Rose righted herself, flipped me the bird, blew Jules a kiss, and closed the door behind her, Jules and I settled back onto the bed. Her in my lap, the cookie container in hers.
Jules is three cookies in before I break the comfortable silence.
I kiss the top of her head. “I’m sorry for all the things I said that night.”
Her hand, in the process of bringing a cookie to her mouth, pauses. “You are?” She doesn’t wait for me to answer before taking a bite. I’m thinking the cookies were a good call.
Ignoring the waterfall of crumbs falling onto her lap, my lap and the bed, I focus on the right words.
“What I said, it wasn’t really about you.
” I blow out a hard breath, leaning back against the pillows.
“I didn’t realize I was still so messed up from my parents.
” I squeeze my arms around her. “I took it out on you and I’m sorry. ”
Jules speaks around the cookie in her mouth. “I take it your mom must’ve cheated on your dad.”
“Yeah.” I glance at the door, hoping Rose isn’t listening. “I’m not sure how much Rose knows, as she was so young, but yeah, Mom and Dad fought a lot, most of it about Mom’s not-so-secret affairs.”
Jules puts the rest of her cookie down and grabs my hand. “I’m sorry too.”
“You’re sorry?”
“Yeah.” She turns, catching my eye. “I should’ve told you about the texts.” She looks down sheepishly. “I should’ve told everyone about the freaking texts.”
It’s amusing and heartbreaking seeing Jules reprimand herself. “Can you tell me now?”
She nods, putting the cookies on the side table before leaning back and settling into my arms again. “Okay, so…”
Twenty minutes later I’m thinking of all the spots I could bury a body on my land where no one would be the wiser. “He drugged you and he drowned you and he might have crashed your jet.”
“I’m okay, Holt.” She throws me a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes as she pats my hand. “Safe and sound right here.”
I want to believe that she really is okay, but I don’t. I know her, no matter what smile she sends my way. “Jules?”
“Hmm?”
“You don’t have to comfort me. You don’t have to make sure everyone else is okay right now. Something happened to you. Something bad. You can be upset.”
She swallows. “I know.”
“Do you?” I grab her chin, turning her eyes to mine. “You don’t need to be tough. I’m not going to think you’re weak. No matter what, you are the strongest woman I have ever met and I am one hundred percent confident that you could kick anyone’s ass.”
She laughs, but it comes out half-choked and her hand grips my leg hard.
“He drugged you and drowned you, Jules.”
She doesn’t look away. She doesn’t make a joke. She doesn’t let go. “He drugged me and drowned me,” she repeats, her voice a rough whisper. Her eyes still on mine, I watch as one tear and then another falls. I lean forward and kiss them away.
I intended to be comforting. I planned on clearing the air between us and then just holding her, making sure she felt safe. But I should’ve known better. Jules always does everything full throttle.
Soon our mouths are fused and our skin hot. We break apart only to tear off our T-shirts.
With one hand she undoes my buckle. “I’ve missed you, cowboy.”
“I’ve missed you, space cadet.” I hook my hand under her waistband, pushing it over her ass.
God bless sweat pants.
“Are those…?” Jules is looking down where her hand has pushed my pants open, my pink boxers peeking out. Pink boxers with cows on them.
“Uh—” Before I can be embarrassed, she attacks my mouth, biting, sucking, kissing. I make a promise to myself to search and find every pair of ridiculous boxers known to man and wear a new pair each day.
I lift my hips to help her shuck off my pants. As soon as my legs are free, she pushes me back on the covers and straddles me, still in her bra and panties.
Crumbs dig into my back and I cringe, but I ignore them, focusing on the front clasp of her bra.
“Hold up.” She climbs off me.
“What’s wrong?” I crunch up and grab her face in my hands, checking her pupils. “You feeling okay? Are you dizzy? Was this too much after?—”
“Oh my God, Pollyanna.” She shrugs out of my grasp, sighing. “I’m fine.” She grabs my shirt off the floor and tugs it on. “Be right back.” Then she’s out the door, yelling for Jackie, leaving me hard and confused.
A few minutes later she’s back with a dust buster.
“Y’all are one kinky couple!” I hear Trish yell.
“Earmuffs! La la la!” Rose screams before Jules slams the door shut, cutting her off.
“Up, cowboy.”
I stand, still hard, my cow trying to poke out of the barn so to speak, as Jules turns on the hand vacuum and runs it over the covers. “There.” She tosses the vacuum on a chair in the corner, a triumphant smile on her face. “Now you can fuck comfortably.”
My God. This woman.
Her smile dims at the serious expression on my face. “Er, sorry. I mean, have sex?”
I grab the hem of my shirt that hangs mid-thigh on her and tug it up over her head. “Oh no.” I turn her, pushing her back onto the bed. “We’re definitely going to fuck.”
Her eyes roll back and she shivers. “Damn, Holt.” She unclasps her bra, the cups falling to the side. Her nipples pebble in the cool air. “Then what was with that face?”
I push my boxers down, grab my dick and pump. “I was just thinking how much I love you.”
Jules’ eyes go wide, and I have a second to bask in shocking her quiet, before she turns the tables by sliding off the bed, onto her knees, and sucking down my cock in one swallow.
“Fuck, Jules.”
She moans, the sound humming against my dick.
“Ahh.” I fist her wild curls in my hand, letting her head bob a few times before pulling her back.
Her mouth is swollen, her eyes heavy with lust, all memories of today’s events forgotten, if only for now.
Eyes on me, her tongue darts out, licking the tip of my dick.
“Fucking hell, Jules.” In a moment, she’s on the bed again, and I’m pulling at her panties.
“Can’t rip these, eh, cowboy?”
I roll her onto her side. “Don’t need to when they serve a purpose.” I keep them anchored around her thighs.
“What are you—” She gasps as I enter her from behind. “Fuck that’s good.”
Her thighs tighten together, locking down my dick as I thrust.
One arm wraps around, grabbing her breast, pinching her nipple, anchoring her to me, while I use the other on her clit.
She can’t move, she can’t control anything, she can just feel.
“You’re safe,” I whisper as my fingers v on either side of me thrusting in and out of her.
Jules’ back arches, but I hold her still. “Holt, I?—”
My fingers move to her clit, circling slowly. “I got you.”
Seams pop as she fights her panties holding her legs in place.
“I love you.” I smack her clit.
“Oh my God!” Her whole body shakes and convulses as she comes. Her inner walls clamp down on me, sending me over the edge, but I force myself to concentrate, to pet her clit, bring her down slowly. Make sure she knows she’s cherished, taken care of.
Her body relaxes, melting back into mine.
I push her panties off all the way and move to pull out.
“No.” Her body tenses and I stop. “Can we… let’s just stay like this a while.” She sniffs, and I realize she’s crying. “Okay?”
Smiling, glad she feels safe enough to let go, I squeeze her in tight. “Sounds good.”
I have to strain and stretch a bit, but I manage to pull the covers up around us while staying seated inside her. We lie spooned like this for some time until her tears stop falling.
After a deep breath, Jules wipes her cheeks with her hand. “Hey, Holt?”
I kiss the top of her head, her curls tickling my cheek. “Yeah?”
“I, uh, love you too.”
I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing. “I know.”
Her shoulders stiffen. “What do you mean you know?” Apparently, I didn’t keep the laughter from my voice.
“I figured it out when I saw the kitchen,” I say soothingly as I run my hand up and down her side.
“Oh.” She’s quiet. When my fingers trace the underside of her breast, she sighs, then shrugs. “Whatever. I got cookies out of it, so I win.”
Chuckling, I kiss her neck, settling into quiet again.
She leans forward and clicks off the light. The movement has me sliding out of her and we both shiver.
I’m almost asleep, my brain and my body warm and fuzzy from having her back in my arms, when she speaks up in a whisper.
“Holt?”
“Mmm.” I tuck her tighter against me. “Yeah, babe?”
She clears her throat, her voice sounding back to her normal badass self. “You tell anyone I cried and I’ll junk punch you.”
I bite down hard on my lip again, nostrils flaring, but I succeed in keeping all traces of amusement out of my voice this time. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”