19. Crow
Chapter nineteen
Crow
She leans into Hunter and kisses him long and slow. The thought that I might feel jealous comes into my head and leaves as quickly as it appeared. She’s stunning, and my pack looks incredible with her. Saint grabs her from behind and kisses the back of her neck.
“You be good today with Crow.”
“We’ll be fine. Go do work stuff, and when you get home, we can do cuddles on the couch.”
Why is this ordinary life so perfect? I thought I might get bored with just cuddling for hours, but the calm that I gain from the experience is incredible. Just being together seems to fix things that I’d long since thought were destroyed in me.
The ability to be gentle and calm. The constant need for reassurance has lessened. I feel confident in my skin and making decisions in the pack.
Hunter is easing back on his formidable temper, and Saint is letting go of his iron control over our day-to-day living situations.
Today is the three-week mark, and I can feel it in her. She’s gathering her inner strength while I gather mine. She’s going to leave, but I will not let her. None of us are. We’re planning something special tonight, to do whatever it takes to keep her.
Do I love her? Is this what love is? This need to care for and protect her. A desire to be with her at all times just to ensure she’s breathing, to make sure she’s smiling. I don’t want to see a single tear, and if I do, I want to find a way to erase her sadness. To my surprise, I just want to know her, to understand her and all her moods. I just want to be by her side.
Is that love?
That I want to give her everything. Be her shield from the world, her sword to her enemies. I want to sacrifice everything for her.
She turns and smiles at me, and I feel my chest catch, squeezing as I look at her. Imagining her gone is devastating. I can’t see her gone.
We belong together.
All of us.
I’m going to find a way to learn how to love.
For her.
Her white hair catches the light, and her blue eyes seem to glow. She looks like something out of a fae dream. I reach out, and instead of disappearing into wispy smoke, she steps into my embrace. Her face nuzzles into my neck, and I enclose my arms around her, suddenly sure that this is my end game. This is how I live my happiest life.
“What do you want to do today?” she asks with a glimmer in her eyes. “Do you want to go on a hike around the reservoir again?”
I smile down at her, but I can’t refuse her. There’s no way I can deny her anything anymore.
“Yes. Let's go.” I jog inside and grab my keys, and then meet her at the car.
We climb in and don’t really talk. It’s a comfortable silence that I have never been comfortable in before. But I go through tonight and my plans one more time, just to make sure everything is accounted for.
She is soothing. Her hand on my thigh, fingers drawing comforting circles as the neighbourhood flashes by. I turn onto the road that will take us out, and the houses give way to the forest. It’s magical today.
“What shall we do for dinner tonight?” she asks, rolling her head towards me. “Shall we surprise Hunter and give him a night off?”
“I can’t cook,” I warn her with a smile, trying not to give any clues away. “Not even a little bit or at all.”
“Luckily for you, I can.”
I glance at her, and I’m captivated by the way the sun hits the side of her face, all dappled and beautiful. For a second, I forget I’m driving.
It’s just her and me in this wonderful world. It’s perfect.
I do love her.
I love her.
I have since I met her.
And with that thought comes such peace that it feels like it reaches in and changes me.
“Bethany,” I whisper her name. She smiles at me.
I glance back at the road and see the car heading straight for us.
It’s in our lane.
It wasn’t there a moment ago.
It’s going too fast.
My heart thumps into an explosive pace. Every second slows down to eternity. I see the man is asleep or something, and he’s got no idea. The car is a red truck with black custom paintwork stripes. I notice the calm of the morning; the trees blowing in the wind, the sun catches on the window.
The scent of passion fruit is so strong, filling my lungs and turning everything into razor sharp panic.
NO!
Bethany.
No, I can’t lose her! Not like this!
I yank on the wheel as hard as I can, putting my side of the car into the impact zone. It’s all I can do. Oh, god, Saint, Hunter. Oh, I fucked up.
All I have time to think is ‘I’m sorry’.
I hear her scream, the sound of metal crunching, and there’s great pain as the world violently shakes me like a rag doll. And then, I feel nothing.