Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
the setback
MATTY
I’ve never jumped out of bed so fast on a Monday morning. The second my alarm goes off, the thought of spending the day with Blair has me kicking the sheets away and scrambling to get dressed, more eager than I’ve ever been to report for work.
I’m so damn gone for this girl.
The simple promise of sitting across from her in the command center, feeling the quiet hum of her presence as we get lost in our tasks, makes the day feel brighter before it’s even begun.
I can already picture those dark eyes peeking up at me over her monitor, brow creased and lips pursed in concentration– all those cute little mannerisms of hers that drive me wild.
I’ve always enjoyed working alongside Blair, but now there’s the added thrill of knowing there’s something more blossoming between us.
Something still largely unspoken, yet undeniable.
I get ready in record time, anticipation buzzing through my veins as I run a hand through my messy chestnut hair on my way out the door.
I dash down to the dining hall, the smell of fresh coffee filling the air as I stride inside and make my way past the busy tables.
The clatter of dishes and murmur of voices is drowned out by the whirlwind of thoughts in my head.
My mind is solely focused on Blair– on making today just as good as yesterday, if not even better.
Heading straight for the coffee bar, I grab two paper cups off the stack, hands moving on autopilot as I pour steaming dark liquid into each one.
I add vanilla creamer to one of them– because Blair seems like someone who would appreciate a little something sweet to combat the bitter– but leave the other black, just in case.
I’m still not sure how she takes her coffee.
She’s never accepted any of the ones I’ve brought her before, but I’m almost positive that’s been more about taking a stance against anything I offer her than actually disliking the stuff.
As I turn to leave, I spot Gia making her way across the dining hall toward the coffee bar, rapidly closing the distance between us. Her smile is friendly as always as she approaches and stops in front of me, eyes flickering down to the pair of cups clasped in my hands.
“Hey, Matty,” she greets, a playful lilt to her tone. “Are one of those for me?”
I shake my head with a soft chuckle, knowing exactly where this is going and glad to have the opportunity to get ahead of it. “For Blair, actually,” I reply casually.
Gia’s eyebrow quirks up. “Well, aren’t you an accommodating co-worker,” she remarks, flipping her hair over a shoulder. “I’ve been meaning to ask you what the heck all that was about on Friday night.”
I draw a deep breath, bracing myself to say the words aloud. It’ll change things between me and Gia, but it has to be said.
“We’ve been seeing each other,” I admit, a weight lifting off my shoulders the moment it’s out in the open. “Well, kind of,” I amend, belatedly realizing that it’s still a little unclear where me and Blair actually stand. “It’s complicated, but we’re figuring it out.”
Gia’s mouth rounds in an ‘o’ shape, eyes widening in surprise. Her throat bobs with a swallow as she stares back at me, like she’s digesting the information, and a faint flush creeps up her neck as she finally speaks.
“Well shit, I didn’t see that coming,” she remarks with an awkward chuckle. “But I guess it makes sense, with the way you’re always working together.” She runs a hand through her hairs, shifting her weight. “Sorry, I just… I never would’ve pegged her as your type.”
“I’m not sure I’ve ever really had a type,” I say with a shrug, a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. “But I like her.”
Gia’s expression softens, head tilting in quiet contemplation. “Well, then that’s all that matters,” she replies, nodding.
Damn, she’s taking this better than expected.
“I really hope we can still be friends,” I murmur.
She flashes me a warm smile, slipping right back into her usual cheerful demeanor. “For sure,” she chirps, stepping in closer. She pats a hand against my chest, gazing up at me sincerely. “You’re one of the good ones, Matty. Hope she realizes that.”
I shift backwards with an uncomfortable chuckle, putting some distance between us before lifting one of the coffees in an awkward wave. “I’ll see you around,” I say as I sidestep and start for the exit.
It doesn’t take long to navigate the hallways of the squad complex to the command center, offering friendly smiles to everyone I pass along the way.
The people who live and work here are now accustomed to my presence, and I’m finally starting to feel like less of an outsider.
This place is actually starting to feel like home, which is strange considering the circumstances that brought me here in the first place.
I never would’ve imagined that I’d be welcomed by a bunch of wolf shifters after hunting their kind, let alone come to feel at home amongst them.
When I first moved in, this arrangement was supposed to be temporary, but… maybe this could work long term. Maybe I could be happy here.
When I reach the command center, I’m greeted by an empty room– not surprising, since I’m usually the first to arrive.
I set Blair’s coffee on the corner of her desk, then continue around to my own and take my seat.
While going through the motions of logging into my computer, I can’t help but smile to myself as I picture my sharp-tongued IT partner walking through the door.
I hear her before I see her, the sound of Blair’s footsteps echoing down the hall as she draws closer.
That steady, rhythmic sound is now burned into my mind; a familiar, comforting thing that makes my pulse quicken every time.
I glance toward the door just as she enters, and the moment our eyes meet, it kickstarts my heart.
But she quickly looks away, moving to her desk with the practiced speed of someone trying to avoid a confrontation.
My stomach sinks at the unexpected coldness of her reception, the undeniable warmth between us having seemingly vanished overnight.
Did I misread something yesterday? Cross a line?
Blair drops her messenger bag onto her desk with a soft thud and lowers herself into her chair, sweeping her hair behind her shoulders as she settles in.
“Good morning, beautiful,” I greet, keeping my voice light and teasing to mask the concern tightening my chest.
She murmurs a soft, “Good morning,” in response, sinking lower in her chair and still avoiding eye contact.
Something’s definitely wrong.
I watch her for a moment longer, my brow furrowing.
Blair has always been hard to read, but right now, it’s clear she’s trying to shut me out.
What I can’t figure out is why. We had a great time last night, flirting and laughing and enjoying each other’s company.
As much as I don’t want to push, I also can’t just sit here in silence wondering what the hell went wrong.
“Brought you a coffee,” I say, searching for any excuse to get her to talk to me.
She flickers a glance toward the cup resting on the edge of her desk but doesn’t pick it up. She also doesn’t respond, or lift her gaze, or give me anything, my body coiling tighter with tension as the silent seconds tick by.
“Okay, did I miss something?” I blurt, unable to take another moment of this torture.
She finally glances up at me, the closed-off look in her espresso eyes hitting me like a gut punch. “I can’t do this, Matty,” she says dryly, giving a little shake of her head.
I cock a brow. “Do what?”
“Me and you,” she replies in a clipped tone. “This’ll never work.”
My stomach lurches, pulse skipping. Though her words land like a blow, I can’t help but scoff, trying to laugh it off. “Bullshit,” I grumble, rolling my eyes. “It was working just fine yesterday. What the hell changed?”
She shakes her head again, averting her gaze.
“What changed, Blair?” I ask again, gentler this time. “Talk to me.”
She doesn’t. Her eyes zero in on her computer screen as she chews on the inside of her cheek, pointedly ignoring me just like she did the first day we worked together. Except now, after everything that’s happened between us, being iced out like this fucking hurts.
“Blair,” I venture, refusing to let this go.
She snaps her head up, eyes narrowing on mine as she bites out a harsh, “Stop.”
I slap my hands against my desk, pushing back in my chair with a frustrated sigh. “No, fuck that,” I say, raising my voice. “You know what? I’m done.”
“Good!” she snaps back exasperatedly. “You should be done with me! This was never going to work, so it’s about time you stopped trying.”
I shake my head with a wry chuckle, stabbing my fingers through my hair. “No, Blair, I’m not done with you,” I clarify. “Not even fucking close. But I’m done letting you push me away when something’s clearly wrong. I’m done sitting back and giving you space like I don’t care when I do.”
Her tough exterior falters for a split second, and in that fleeting moment, I catch of glimpse of something raw in her eyes– a flash of pain before she quickly looks away.
It’s like a crack in her armor, one she’s desperately trying to patch up, but I see it.
She’s fighting herself, her emotions warring with her need to stay composed, to keep her distance.
And here I am, battling just as hard, trying to hold onto what I thought we were building.
“I can’t,” she whispers, her voice barely audible. She bites down on the inside of her cheek again, like she’s desperately trying to keep everything she’s feeling from spilling out. “Let’s just work, okay?”
“How can I do that when I know something’s wrong?” I grit out, my frustration mounting. It’s not just me she’s pushing away right now. It’s everything inside her that she refuses to let out; the vulnerability that she can’t stand letting anyone see.