Chapter 18 #7
“Warrick is my first anything too,” I admit.
“I think I love him. But…” I trail off, wanting to tell Henry everything but not wanting him to judge me.
“My situation is different. Warrick and I didn’t meet on the street or in a bar.
I wasn’t wild camping, I was living in a tent, because…
” Swallowing thickly, I blurt, “Because I was homeless. I was living in a tent because I was homeless. I didn’t finish high school.
I was working as a stripper, and when they tried to make me sell my body, I ran away.
I was living in my car but it got stolen, and all I had left was the stupid tent.
I was living in it because it was that or sleeping rough.
I’m staying with Warrick because I have nowhere else to go. ”
At some point while I was talking, my eyes must have closed, because when I open them again, I’m expecting to find disgust or pity in Henry’s eyes, but instead he’s smiling at me sadly. “Sounds like you found each other at exactly the right time.”
“I don’t have a job. I don’t have any money.
I don’t have any other options. It’s his place or homelessness.
He’s called it our home since the moment he told me I could move into his spare room.
” Pulling out my purse, I find the bank card he gave me and wave it in the air.
“He put me on his bank account and gave me a card. He keeps filling the refrigerator with food and telling me to eat. He took me shopping and paid for these clothes and this purse and I…”
“You what?” he asks.
“All he’s getting is me. After we had sex, I had to really think about if I wanted him or if I was just grateful for everything he’d done for me,” I admit.
“And what did you decide?”
“I want him. Of course I want him, but how can I marry him when I literally bring nothing to the relationship except a mountain of metaphorical baggage and the ability to pole dance?” I hiss, feeling tears welling in the backs of my eyes again.
“But do you love him?” Henry asks calmly.
“Of course I love him,” I blurt.
“Then that’s all that matters,” he says emphatically.
“Warrick doesn’t care what you did to pay your bills.
I doubt he cares that you didn’t graduate from high school.
I know he won’t care that you’re broke and that you don’t have a job.
He saw you and realized that you are the one woman he’s been waiting his entire life for. Everything else is just details.”
“You make it sound so simple,” I whisper.
“Because it is simple. Most people don’t get to experience what we have.
They never have that total certainty that their partner is all in.
That they have zero doubt and no reservations.
Warrick loves you, and he wants to marry you because every cell and atom inside of him knows that you are his person.
Ask yourself this. If the house and the money went away, and you had to pitch your tent and live in it again with him, would you still want him? ” he asks.
My gut reaction is to say yes, but instead I give it some thought, and I come up with the same answer. “Yes. I’d still want him. Yes.”
“Exactly. Because deep down, you’re as sure of him as he is of you.”
Henry’s words circle on a loop through my head for the rest of dinner, replaying over and over while I listen to the insane lengths the guys have gone to when it comes to the people sitting at this table.
The Barnetts are clearly insane. Birth control tampering, kidnapping, stalking—there’s a laundry list of actual felonies, but ultimately, they did it all for love, and everyone seems blissfully happy.
I’ve never known anyone in a truly happy relationship before.
My dad had girlfriends, but it always ended with me never seeing them again after they’d screamed at him and called him names.
Some of the dancers at the club had boyfriends and husbands, but none of them seemed happy, judging by the moaning and complaining they did about them.
I don’t have anything to model a normal relationship on, and even though I’ve admitted that I love Warrick, I still barely know him.
The server brings the bill, but I never get a chance to see it. “It’s our treat, welcome to the family, Verity,” Cora says happily.
“They did the same for me the first time I went to dinner with them all,” Henry tells me quietly, and I’m grateful for the heads-up. I don’t want these lovely people to think I need them to pay for me. I’m already mooching off Warrick, I’m not going to do it to anyone else.
When we leave the restaurant, I spot Knight and one of the Barnetts leaning against Knight’s black SUV. The car is in the same place it was when he dropped us off. “Octy, did Knight not leave?”
Laughing, she shakes her head. “There is no way he’d leave me here alone.
He’s been sitting out here watching me through the window.
” She’s so nonchalant about it that instead of commenting, I nod, because given what I’ve learned about the men in this town tonight, Knight standing on the street for three hours while Octy had dinner with her girlfriends doesn’t seem that crazy.
Knight and the Barnett—who I’m assuming is Bonnie’s husband, judging by the way she makes a beeline for him—are chatting, but the moment he sees Octy, he pushes off the SUV and strides straight over to her, scooping her off the floor and into his arms like he hasn’t touched her in a month, not a few hours.
No one else seems particularly surprised to see him acting this way, so I’m guessing this is pretty normal for them. Sighing wistfully, I wish that Warrick was here waiting for me too. He only left this morning, but I miss him.
I’m used to being alone. Even when my dad lived with me, I was still alone.
But I wouldn’t ever have described myself as lonely.
Now as I watch Bonnie’s husband wrap her in his arms while Knight has Octy pinned to his chest, I wonder if maybe I’ve never felt the loss of others’ company because I’ve just been waiting for Warrick.
After everyone hugs me and makes me promise to actually respond to the messages they send me, they all filter off into cars and drive away.
Climbing into the back of Knight’s SUV, I buckle my seat belt and watch the lights of Rockhead Peak slowly dwindle away until there’s nothing but the light of the moon to illuminate the road.
“Thanks for the ride…and for dinner,” I tell Octy as I slip from the car. Knight follows me to the front door, waiting like a guard as I pull my house key from my purse and unlock the door.
“Lock it behind you,” he orders, “and call if you need anything.”
“Thanks,” I say, waving to Octy before I step into the house and close and lock the door behind me.
This is the first time I’ve left the house and come back without Warrick.
Flicking on the light, I scan the room to make sure I’m alone, but I can already feel the lack of his energy.
Heading for the kitchen, I grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator, then contemplate if I should watch some TV or just go to bed.
Deciding on the latter, I turn the light off again, climb the stairs, and open the bedroom door.
The bed is freshly made with the sheets I washed earlier, but as I sit down on the edge of the mattress, I wish I’d left the dirty ones on, because all I smell is detergent and not his comforting soapy, manly scent.
Stripping out of my clothes, I drop them into the hamper, then pad into the bathroom in just my underwear.
Washing my face, I brush my teeth, then decide to take a shower instead.
Once I’m clean, I find one of Warrick’s shirts from the closet and pull it on, twisting my wet hair into a braid before I pull back the sheets and climb into bed.
It’s eleven p.m., and I should be tired, but as I pull the comforter over me, all I can think about is Warrick. He’s at work; I shouldn’t disturb him, but the urge to talk to him drives me to grab my cell and type out a text.
Me: Are you awake?
His reply is instantaneous.
Warrick: How was dinner?
Me: It was good, everyone was lovely, and they insisted on treating me and paying for my meal and drinks. Henry said it’s a thing they do to welcome people to the group.
Warrick: I’m glad you had a good time. Knight texted me to let me know he’d dropped you off at home. What are you doing now?
Me: I’m in bed. I miss you.
The screen flashes with a video call a moment later.
“Hi,” I whisper, resting the cell against the pillow.
“I miss you too. Being in this tiny fucking bed on my own and knowing you’re in our bed is a test in patience. I wish I was there with you.”
“I didn’t realize it would be like this,” I admit.
“Be like what?”
“Lonely, but only for one person.”
“You’ve never been lonely for anyone else?” he questions.
I shake my head. “I didn’t even really miss my dad after he left.”
“Tell me about him.”
“There isn’t much to tell. He wasn’t a great dad. But I guess I should be grateful that he at least stuck around until I was eighteen so I didn’t end up in foster care. He put the apartment lease in my name and took off after he told the landlord that I’d cover the back rent he owed.”
“I’m sorry, amore mio.”
Laughing softly, I shrug. “I got evicted the day I finished paying back everything that Dad owed. After that, I lived in a car that someone gave me for a while and worked at a diner. I got fired for taking home the leftover fries at the end of the night instead of putting them in the trash. That’s how I ended up at BJ’s.
No one else would employ an eighteen-year-old high school dropout, so I became Cherry Pie.
” This time my laugh feels bitter. “I’m a mess, Warrick. Why do you want me?”
“I don’t want to hear you say that about yourself ever again, Verity. You are not a mess; you’re a survivor. You did what you had to do to keep yourself safe, and ultimately those choices led you to me, right where you’re supposed to be.”