Chapter 19 #3
Have I unknowingly forced her into this? Does she even like me, or does she feel like she doesn’t have any choice? Rushing into the bathroom, I puke up the coffee and the omelet and everything else in my stomach.
Making my way back to my car on shaky legs, I pull my cell out and find Penn Barnett’s number, hitting call as I bring it to my ear.
“Hey, Warrick,” Penn says.
“Hi, Penn. Is Henry’s old apartment still empty?” I ask.
“Yeah, why?”
Sighing, I try to decide how to explain, then just spit it out.
“I thought I found my woman, but I don’t think it’s going to work out.
She’s living with me right now, but if she’s moving out, I’d rather she be somewhere safe with a landlord who will take care of her if I’m not going to be looking after her anymore.
I’ll cover the rent until she gets back on her feet, but it’s going to be hard enough to let her go, and I don’t think I’ll be able to do it if she isn’t somewhere close. ”
“The apartment is still furnished with all the stuff we gave Henry, but are you sure this is the right thing to do? Verity is yours,” Penn says.
“She is mine, but I don’t think I’m hers, and while she’s living with me up on the mountain, she hasn’t got any other options.
I don’t want to be her only choice,” I admit shakily.
“Can I swing by and grab the key? She’s interviewing for a job right now, but I’ll take her and show her the apartment once she’s finished. ”
“I’m at home, but Bay is at the garage. I’ll let him know you’re coming by,” Penn says.
“Thanks.”
Ending the call, I put my Jeep in drive, then head over to the Barnetts’ garage, accepting the apartment keys from Bay when I arrive.
“I don’t know what’s happening between you and your woman, but take it from someone who wasted six months by being an idiot—letting her go is a mistake. One that I promise you’ll regret.”
“Trust me, if there was a way of keeping her, I would. But right now, I don’t think there is. If you love something, set them free…” I let my words trail off. “Thanks for this,” I say, saluting him with the keys as I turn and leave.
Parking my car outside of the ranger’s office, my head pulses with every moment that passes.
I love Verity, but the idea that I’ve somehow made her feel like being with me and…
having sex with me was the price I expected her to pay to live in my house and eat my food…
makes me sick to my stomach. I know that she’s the only woman for me, but clearly, she doesn’t feel the same way.
Maybe she only picked me because her choices were my bed or homelessness.
She’s smiling when she steps out of the building and onto the street. When she spots my Jeep, she rushes over and climbs into the passenger side. “They offered me the job,” she gushes excitedly.
“Congratulations, that’s fantastic, I’m really proud of you,” I say, meaning every word. Because I am proud of her. I just wish that I could take her home to celebrate with a dozen orgasms instead of driving her to her new apartment.
“I can’t believe they just offered me the job right then and there. Erin said that I’d been one of their most reliable volunteers and that I already know most of the information I’ll need to be trained on.”
“They’d have been idiots not to snap you up,” I tell her, forcing a brittle-feeling smile to my lips as I put my Jeep in drive and pull away from the curb.
Instead of turning right to head onto the road that leads up the mountain, I turn left, driving the four blocks over to the garage and pulling up on the street outside.
“Is there a problem with your car?” she asks, glancing out at the garage.
“No. I wanted to show you something.”
“Oh, okay,” she says, waiting for me to open her door before she climbs out. “This is where Parker and Henry work, right?”
“Yep, Parker’s a mechanic, and Henry runs the office.” Leading the way, I make a beeline for the stairs that lead up to the two apartments that Penn and Bay used as bachelor pads before they met their wives.
Stopping at the door, I pull the key from my pocket and unlock it, gesturing for Verity to go inside first.
“What’s going on? Whose apartment is this?” Verity asks, cautiously stepping inside.
“This apartment and the one next door are owned by the Barnetts. Henry lived here for a while,” I tell her.
“Okay, so why are we here?”
“Because I thought this might be perfect for you. It’s safe, the rent is affordable, and it’s only a few blocks from your new job.”
Spinning around, her brows furrow. “For me?” she questions.
“Yeah, for you.”
Blinking, she looks up at me. “You’re kicking me out?”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “I want you to live with me. I fucking love you, Verity. I want to marry you and have a baby with you. I want a happy ever after.”
“I don’t understand,” she says slowly.
“This morning you told me you felt like I was trying to buy you,” I tell her, struggling to force the words out.
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that, and now it’s all I can think about.
I love you, but I never considered that me taking you to my place and doing what feels like the absolute bare minimum to take care of you might feel like I was bribing you, or buying you, or offering you a home in exchange for sex. ”
“Warrick,” she starts.
“I love you, Verity, and I never considered that I’d made myself your only option.”
“That’s not—” she starts again, but I shake my head, silencing her.
“I fucking hate that you feel like I was buying you. I…I’m sorry, I never…
” I choke out the words, unable to finish my sentence.
“So I spoke to Penn. This place is empty and furnished. I’ve told Penn that I’ll cover your rent until you get on your feet.
I’m not paying for it because I expect anything in return.
I don’t. I never did. If you’d prefer to pay the money back so you don’t feel like you owe me anything, then you can donate the money to a charity or something.
I’m going to go and grab your things, and I’ll drop them off with Henry.
I’ll ask him to bring them to you, so you won’t have to see me. ”
“Warrick.”
“I’m sorry, Verity. I’m so fucking sorry,” I say, placing the keys down on the kitchen counter before I turn and leave, rushing away from her without looking back, because if I do, I know I won’t be able to walk away.