Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
It’s unseasonably warm, but it’s still chillier than it has been lately. The cooling weather almost feels like an omen. A sign of more sinister things to come. Although, that could also be my hyperactive imagination after my weird nightmare from last night.
A light breeze stirs the hair I left loose around my face and causes the burnt orange, fallen leaves to dance around my feet as I head away from dropping my note at Tom’s cottage.
I weave my way through the nearest woods until I crest the hill on the other side.
It’s there that I set up my own little altar of sorts, to honor my parents.
Since they’re not buried in the town’s cemetery, I never had a place growing up where I felt like I could go to feel close to them.
Speak to them. For Samhain when I was fifteen, Aunt Fleur helped me to create this monument.
Now it’s my safe place. It’s where I go when I feel overwhelmed and need to escape for a moment.
Or when I want to feel close to them. To connect with them.
Or on days like today. I come here every Samhain to honor their memory.
I sit at the base of the altar, which is really just a fancy word to describe the chopped down tree stump with the words Mother and Father Mistral carved into the face. Not even their names.
I dig into my basket and pull out the candles, placing them onto the flat top of the stump.
Pulling out the tinderbox, I strike the flint until a spark catches on a small pile of kindling.
Using a thin, splintered branch, I hold it over the burning kindling until it catches and then light the wick on each candle.
I drop the branch into the pile and douse the pile with water from the flask, extinguishing the small flames with a hiss.
The smoky scent of a woodfire envelopes me as I settle in more comfortably in front of the altar.
“Hi mom. Hi dad. Hope you’re doing alright…
wherever you are. I’m… well I’m good, I think.
” I sigh in resignation. “I’m bored, I guess?
The simpleness of life in the village is starting to wear on me.
I’ve mentioned it to Tom and he all but said he thinks it’s silly.
I’m also so afraid of crushing Aunt Fleur’s heart if I tell her I want to leave.
Or even hint at it. But I want to explore the other villages nearby.
Maybe even see if I can make it to one of the bigger towns.
Even find a castle!” I exclaim with a wistful gasp.
“Wow, wouldn’t that be a sight? A castle, compared to this tiny village.
” I turn around so my back faces the stump, and lean against it, hugging my book to my chest. “I feel like there’s more out there for me than this, you know?
Is that wrong of me to wish for?” Gods, I really wish they both were here so I could ask them all these questions and actually get an answer in response.
“I love Aunt Fleur, I really do. But she’s so protective of me.
I’m afraid if I even tried to float the idea of leaving, she’d drop dead of a heart attack on the spot.
” I let out a sigh. I’m suddenly lighter, having gotten all these feelings off my chest. It felt good to confess how I was feeling to Tom, but he seemed so against it that I didn’t let myself get carried away with my feelings.
This was like a cleanse. Just releasing all the thoughts swarming my mind into the world.
I don’t even care that it’s to people who aren’t even present to hear or respond.
And now that the flood gates are opened, I keep going.
I drop my voice lower. “I keep having these weird dreams. This woman is saying things to me? At least, it certainly feels like she’s talking to me.
I wish I could make sense of it all. Right now, it sort of feels like she’s haunting me.
” I bring my knees up to my chest and cross my arms across the tops, laying my head down to rest on my crossed arms, I shut my eyes.
I sit like that for a moment, breathing in the autumn air. Taking in the scents of the fallen leaves. Listening to the birds chirping in the nearby trees. The rustling of animals scurrying around the forest floor. It’s calm out here.
At peace.
I don’t know how long I sit there listening, but it’s long enough for the chill to seep further into the air and goosebumps to break out across my exposed skin.
Something feels… different. The air has shifted.
I listen closer and notice that at some point, the forest has gone silent.
Completely still. Unnaturally so. The hairs rise on the back of my neck.
I could almost swear I’m being watched right now.
Without moving my head, I open my eyes and glance around but don’t see anything out of the ordinary. I slowly lift my head and gaze around the forest. I don’t see anything—
A shape looks to be tucked behind a tree. It looks almost human-like. But a large human. Freakishly tall. Or at least taller than any I know. I start to lean forward to get a better glimpse, squinting my eyes with a weird sense of deja vu—
A hand clamps down swiftly on my shoulder, and I practically jump out of my skin. “The faeries are gonna get you!”
I let out a startled scream and shoot to my feet, whipping to face my assailant, thick tome raised above my head to crush their skull. Or at least knock them unconscious.
“Fucking gods, Tom!” I gasp, clutching my rapidly beating heart.
“One of these days you’re going to sneak up on me when I have a weapon and you’re not going to like what’ll happen to you then.
” He laughs at my empty threat, knowing I’ve never once carried a weapon around, let alone even know how to use one.
I roll my eyes at him before letting my eyes drift back towards the tree where I thought I saw a person watching, but there’s nothing there. I rub circles into my temple.
Maybe I am going crazy. Seeing things. It’s probably the lack of sleep.
“How did you even find me out here?” I ask, settling back into my seated position leaning against the stump and tucking the book into my basket, out of sight.
Tom settles in next to me, our shoulders brushing.
“You always come out here on Samhain. I figured you’d probably spend most of the afternoon out here until dinner.
I wanted to come see if you were doing okay.
” He knocks his shoulder against mine, and his face loses all amusement, taking on a solemn seriousness. “Are you doing okay?”
I let out a sigh and lean my head against his shoulder.
It’s comfortable. He’s comfortable. “Yeah, I’m fine.
It’s hard, you know? I still know nothing about them.
Fleur refuses to talk about them. I guess it’s hard for her to talk about?
Her and my mother weren’t just sisters. They were best friends.
Same with my dad. I imagine it must be hard to lose both your best friends at the same time like that and then have to raise their infant child all on your own.
” I tip my head back enough to peer up at his face.
“I can’t even imagine if I were in her situation, and you were the one who died.
” My voice catches in my throat. “It would probably be difficult for me to talk about you. The grief would cripple me. But to not even give me any of their happy memories? It stings. And Samhain just reminds me of that. Picks at that scab until it starts to bleed all over again, keeping it from healing properly. We’re out here honoring our ancestors and lost loved ones and I don’t even know how I should honor them.
What did they like? Their favorite foods?
What were their hobbies? What were their names.
” My voice gets more exasperated the longer I go on. Riling myself up further.
Tom shifts so he can wrap his arm around my shoulders and hug me into his side.
I sink into his embrace, inhaling his comforting leather scent.
“I get it. It’s tough. I couldn’t imagine being in her position either.
You’re my favorite person, Livi, and I couldn’t imagine losing you.
” He’s quiet for a moment and I can almost feel him weighing his next words.
“What has she told you about them? Like, you know for a fact that they’re dead? ”
The question causes me to flinch as if I’ve been struck by a physical blow.
I tilt my head up to face him. I can see the unease in his expression from even posing the question.
“I mean, yes, of course I know they’re dead.
What would make you think they’re not?” I start to pull myself from his arms, but he holds tight, not letting me get far.
“Are you trying to say maybe they’re not and they chose to abandon me instead?
” I can feel the panic rising in my chest. My voice turning borderline frantic, heat building behind my eyes.
“No, Livi, of course not,” he rushes out. He runs his hand through my hair in what I assume is an attempt to soothe me. “Look, all I’m saying is that she’s always been vague is all. Maybe she’s not giving you the full story.”
I huff a breath, crossing my arms over my chest. “Well, we certainly know she’s not giving me the full story.
That’s a given. Every time I ask her how they died she shuts down, gets quiet and tells me ‘the how doesn’t matter.
’” I pitch my voice a bit lower in my best impression of Aunt Fleur.
“What reason would she have to lie about them being dead?”
“I don’t know, Livi. You’re almost twenty-one. I think you deserve to know the full truth at some point. I understand keeping it from you as a child, but you’re an adult now. You can go off and wed and yet she still won’t tell you? She needs to tell you.”
I let out a harsh laugh. “Wouldn’t that be nice.”
Obviously, I want the full truth. But I also hate trying to push Fleur into giving me something she’s not ready for. But if I really want to venture out on my own, I want the full story before I leave.
Tom remains quiet and I don’t try to fill the silence with anything. Soaking in the stillness of the forest.
We rest like that for minutes, maybe hours, I’m not entirely sure. Eventually, Tom nudges my shoulder and it’s then that I realize I had dozed off, the candles on the makeshift altar having burnt themselves out.
“We should get back. The sun is starting to set, and I’d rather not piss off Fleur and miss out on my chance at family dinner,” he says with a cheeky grin.
I roll my eyes and push up off the ground, taking a glance around the forest. The birds are chirping again, animals scurrying once more. It’s odd that it was so still and silent earlier and now it’s as if the forest has come back to life.
“Come on then. Let’s get back before Fleur locks us out and leaves us to be stolen by faeries,” I joke as I dump my books and the candle stumps back into my basket.
Tom snorts. “She would never do that.”
“We’ll just have to see about that then. Last one back has to wash the dishes?” I pitch with a smirk.
“Oh, you’re on,” Tom says before he takes off at a dead sprint.
I’m cackling as I take off behind, making every attempt to catch up but knowing I never will.