Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Our walk back to the cottage is much more leisurely than my initial escape. I can feel Bastian sneaking glances at me. He’s still tense and on edge, but I think that may be stemming from his concern over my inability to tap into my powers.
He stops walking suddenly, looking like a guard dog on high alert, head cocked as he… listens?
I pause beside him, eyes darting around the forest but seeing the nothing amiss. “What’s wrong?”
His brows furrow as he concentrates. “There’s someone coming.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know,” he answers simply, an edge to his voice.
“You should get out of here. As much as I don’t doubt your abilities to glamour and appear human, there’s something about your physique that might still garner some curious and questioning looks.”
I could feel the smirk coming before it even passed over his lips. “I suppose you’re right. I’ll meet you at the edge of the forest once you’re finished and we can figure out what the plan is next. I won’t be far.”
I give him a nod. “Okay.”
He hesitates to walk away at first, seeming to argue with himself over something before he takes a step closer and cups my cheek.
He tilts his head down to press a soft kiss to my hairline.
It’s so quick I don’t know if I can even say it was a kiss, but it still causes sparks to shoot through me, nonetheless.
As he pulls back, he tucks a piece of hair behind my glamoured human ear, fingers trailing softly along it until he lets his hand drop. “Just… be careful, staellara. Okay?”
I bite on the inside of my cheek to hold in the smile that threatens to break free at his clear concern. “I will. But you too, sunshine,” I say with a smirk throwing his new nickname in his face for the hell of it.
He rolls his eyes. “Oh, I’ll be just fine,” he says with a wink as he steps away and turns, disappearing into the thick foliage.
I shake my head at his confidence and continue in the direction of the cottage, turning that interaction over and over in my head the entire time.
I can feel the vast emptiness that creeps in with his departure. It’s a weird feeling to always want him nearby. Especially since I still don’t really know him. The silence of loneliness nearly consumes me. I reach to twist my ring and silently curse myself once again forgetting it was destroyed.
Not even a few minutes into my trek, I hear a branch snap ahead of me, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end. I knew it was coming but I’m still instantly on alert about who else would be in these woods right now, pulse spiking.
“Livi. Thank the gods you’re alright!” Tom shouts as he appears from behind a tree a few feet ahead. “Fleur and I were so worried.”
“So I’ve heard,” I mutter under my breath. “How did you know I was out here?”
He stops in front me. “I stopped in to check on Fleur and she said you’d come back but took off after a conversation.
I knew this would be the one place you’d go to.
” He lays his hand on my cheek in a gesture that suddenly feels too intimate coming from him.
Too wrong. I can still feel the ghost of Bastian’s hand in the same place making my heart stutter.
I take a small step back, but his hand remains firmly in place.
“Are you alright? Did you two get into a fight? Did she say something to upset you?” He bends his knees enough to bring his face to my level.
I can see the concern etched across his face.
I huff a humorless laugh through my nose. How on earth can I even answer that? She did upset me. She lied to me for years. But I can’t really bring that up. Or at least not the entire truth of it. That would only bring on more questions from him.
I let out a resigned sigh. “It’s fine. I finally got her to admit some hard truths and it was a lot to process. I needed a minute to myself to think.”
His eyes narrow. “What did she have to say?”
“Um, just some more details about my childhood that she never told me. And some more things about my parents.” There. I think that adequately side steps the answer, while still giving him a partial truth.
"That's good, isn’t it?” He tilts his head in question. “You’ve been asking about them for years and she’s always been so tight lipped.” His face takes on an inquisitive look. “What about your parents?”
I grapple for another half-truth. “More details about their relationship and why she was the one to raise me, basically. It was nothing, really. I’m fine.”
I start to pull out of his grasp and turn to head back to the cottage, but his free hand shoots up to grasp my elbow. The hand on my cheek moves under my chin, tilting my face back to meet his gaze. I’m momentarily stunned by the action.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks.
I groan in annoyance. “Yes, Tom I’m fine.” Gods, why is he behaving like this?
“Good, because we were both so worried about you.” He pauses for a moment, considering his next words. “I was worried about you.”
I furrow my brow. I assumed he would be concerned but I almost get the feeling that there’s something more he’s trying to imply, but I can’t put my finger on it.
“I appreciate the concern, but I’m alright.” I try to brush him off, but his grip holds tight.
“I’m serious, Livi. I don’t know what I would have done if you’d been hurt. Gods, or worse, you never came back.” He leans his forehead against mine and lets out a deep breath. I tense, because this feels different. Again, too intimate.
I open my mouth to reply. Or pull away. Literally anything. But before I can make any effort to put an end to whatever this moment is, he tilts his jaw forward and presses his lips to mine.
My entire body locks up. I’m… confused? Shocked? Tom has never shown any sort of romantic interest in me. Especially with the number of young women from the village who are said to be stumbling out of the tavern and into bed with him on a daily basis.
Eventually my senses return as I’m flooded with rage. I shove hard at his chest, dislodging his lips from mine. “Tom, what the fuck was that?” I spit out.
“I just…” He scrubs a hand down his face and takes a step back towards me. “Livi. I—” I hold up my hand to stop his approach.
I let out an exasperated sigh and shake my head. Seriously, what the actual fuck was that? I start to laugh out loud, probably—no, definitely—sounding hysterical.
“Tom, I appreciate that you were worried,” I try to placate.
“But in what world did it seem like kissing me was the right move there? I’ve given you no indication that that was something I even wanted.
And neither have you!” I gesture my hands wildly in his direction.
“You’ve never once made it seem like that was something you even wanted with me!
” I’m all but shouting at him by the time I finish speaking.
The longer I think about what just happened the more my rage grows.
“Livi, I’m sorry. I only realized how I felt once you were gone.” He rubs the back of his neck and has the audacity to look embarrassed.
My mouth opens and closes several times, gaping at him like a fish out of water.
“I don’t even know what to say to that,” I finally manage to get out, still stunned by his admission.
He moves to take another step forward, but I back up a step and hold up a hand, maintaining the distance between us.
“Tom, I don’t think this is a good idea.
You’re my best friend, practically my brother.
” Not to mention the fact that I’m Fae and he’s a human.
I can see in his posture the way his hackles rise at the word brother. I mean, that was probably not the best method of trying to get my point across. But also, he is like my brother.
“I see,” he says through gritted teeth.
“Listen. I’m flattered. Really. But I don’t think it’s a good idea. We aren’t a good idea.” I don’t even know if I’m sticking around here after I speak with Fleur.
He balls his hands into fists and his nostrils flare. I can feel the agitation radiating off his body from here which only puts me further on edge. I’ve never seen him angry like this.
“I, um, should get back to Aunt Fleur.” The title feels sour on my tongue as it leaves my mouth now knowing the full truth.
“Right. Let me walk you back. You never know what could be lurking in the woods.”
It takes everything in me to bite back the laugh that wants to bubble out because I doubt Tom has any inkling of the brutish male that is most definitely lurking in the woods as we speak.
I simply nod as we start back off towards the cottage, but I find myself keeping additional space between the two of us that I never would’ve previously.
I leave Tom when the path splits between our respective cottages. He still seemed on edge and tense for the entirety of the walk, but he didn’t say anything further. I’m just grateful he didn’t fight to walk me all the way to my doorstep.
When I walk back through the door, Fleur is sitting at the small table in the kitchen with a mug of tea in front of her. I can smell the herby floral notes from here and know it’s the blend she usually drinks when she’s stressed.
Guilt flares in me again knowing I’m the reason she’s stressed. I don’t think I’m at a point to forgive her yet, but I can understand that keeping this secret must have weighed heavily on her. And I know for a fact that I probably didn’t react as well as I should’ve.
I close the door behind me and stalk to the table, taking the chair opposite her. I cross my arms over my chest and lean back in my seat, staring at her.
“Let’s talk about magic.” I uncross my arms and lay my palms on the table to lean towards Fleur. “Why does it feel like I’m human? Do I even have any power?”
Fleur cringes and a grimace reaches her face. “That would be my fault.” I furrow my brows in confusion, and she must be able to read the question in the action. Letting out a sigh, she continues. “When you were born and we decided to hide you away in the human realm, I performed a ritual of sorts.”
I tense at her words. “What do you mean? What sort of ritual?”
“As Fae children age, they slowly start to come into their powers, and they can sometimes manifest accidentally and at inopportune times. It’s also incredibly hard to control until you’ve had proper training.
” She pauses and I brace myself for the horror that I know is coming.
“To best protect and hide you, I bound your magic.”
“You what? What does that even mean?”
“Essentially, it’s like locking your magic behind a vault of sorts. It’s still there. Just tucked away for safekeeping and to avoid any accidental outbursts.”
“How do you unbind it?” I ask, the panic rising, chest tightening.
She flinches almost imperceptibly at my question. “Here’s the thing… I can’t.”
My stomach feels like it’s full of lead. “You… can’t? So that’s it then? I’m powerless for the rest of my life?” I’m frantic at the thought. Especially with Bastian’s worry that I will always be in danger and at a disadvantage. I feel like I can’t breathe.
Fleur shakes her head quickly. “No, not at all. As I said, it’s still in there. There’s nothing I can do to unbind it. It has to come from within you. You’ll have to dig deep to find that vault and unlock it.”
I breathe the smallest sigh of relief that there’s at least a way. “How can I do that?”
“Unfortunately, I don’t have that answer for you. Every Fae’s magic manifests in a different way. Which means, so will their vaults.” She offers me a sad, apologetic smile.
“…Right.”
“I can help you try to feel for it, if you’d like. Since I’m the one who did this to you in the first place.”
I hold up a hand. “I think you’ve already done enough.
” I gasp out around the tightening in my throat.
“I’ll work this one out on my own. Besides,” I pause a moment before I commit to the decision I’m about to make, “I want to go back to Alinea and find my parents.” I was still unsure whether I wanted to go before I walked back into this conversation but saying the words, I can feel the truth in them.
I’m going back. Maybe being on Seelie lands will help me find this internal vault she’s locked my powers behind.
Her eyes widen with panic. “You… want to go back? Olivia, you do understand the dangers that occupy the lands, right? Especially given who you are. It’s not safe.”
“No offense, Fleur, but I’ve spent the last several days there and I’ve been fine.
” I strategically choose not to mention the boggart, because really there’s no point in bringing it up now.
“And maybe I would know of the dangers had I not been hidden away and raised outside the realm, so you only have yourself to blame for that.” My anger at the situation I’m in once again rises to the surface, no matter how much I try to push it down.
She stares at me stricken, until she wipes the expression into something firm.
“Olivia, I won’t fight you on this. You’re an adult and I’m not your aunt, merely a guardian.
It’s your right to do as you choose. But keep your wits about you.
” Her nostrils flare, a sign of her frustration.
“And be careful who you trust. Not everyone will help someone out of the kindness of their heart.”
“Understood,” I reply with a curt nod, before rising to my feet and heading towards the front door.
“Livi?”
Her voice stops me as I’m about to turn the knob. I turn around to face her. “Yes?”
“For what it’s worth, I am truly sorry for lying to you all these years. It was only meant to protect you.” She looks down into her tea that has likely long since gone cold, the shame clear in her body language.
“I appreciate the apology. But it will take me some time before I can begin to forgive you. And my parents at this rate.”
She nods in acceptance, lifting her eyes to meet mine. “Be careful, my dear. You can only outrun your fate for so long.” I can see the silver of tears gathering along her lower lashes. The setting sun casts shadows into the room, emphasizing the solemn mood weighing down the air between us.
With her ominous warning, I stalk out the front foot of the cottage, setting off to track down Bastian.