Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
There’s nothing I find more boring than flipping through books on histories.
They’re just so dry. Give me something more interesting.
A romance between a knight and a common girl.
An epic quest to retrieve—or destroy—some ancient artifact.
Something that will actually keep my attention.
And yet, flipping through a history book is exactly what Adriana has me doing.
“The history of the courts is one of the most vital pieces of information you’ll need to learn if you’re to be living at court,” she had said.
I mean, I suppose it could be worse. We could be going through a language lesson all over again.
A lot of good the lesson this morning did.
I only made it far enough through to say hello, my name is Olivia before we gave up.
And even then, I don’t think I could replicate it now without actively looking at the words. Plus, my pronunciation is atrocious.
The only saving grace of this book is that at least it’s a copy that’s been translated into common language.
I mindlessly leaf through the pages on the Seelie Court. Flicking past pages upon pages of portraits of my parents and previous Seelie rulers but not really taking in their features. They all look fairly similar anyway. Fair skin, tall, slim, elegant.
I flip to where the Unseelie section begins and thumb through the pages to see how much information they really have on the Unseelie. It’s a larger section than the Seelie, which I’m not entirely sure if that’s a good or bad thing.
At the dawn of the realm, the two courts were set to rule over the lands as one.
An arrangement was made between the two rulers to bond their offspring: the Seelie Prince and Unseelie Princess were thus promised to each other from birth.
It was thought that through joining the power of the two courts in matrimony, their combined powers would exceed that of any other Fae in Alinea.
There were dissenters within each court that vehemently rejected the idea, but none as loud and persistent as those within the Unseelie Court.
Their dark and devious nature resulted in the brutal murder of the young prince.
The princess went missing around the same time, leading scholars to find the timing to be highly suspicious.
To this day, the Unseelie continue to be held responsible for the death of the Seelie Prince and reneging on the deal between the two courts.
They should never be trusted with such a deal ever again.
My eyes fly across the page, sucked in completely by the story of the young prince and princess. Betrothed? Did they even like each other? Was this only to be some sort of duty for them? Will I end up betrothed to someone out of some sort of duty to the court?
Gods, I hope not.
Especially after how tragic that story seemed to end for the couple. Let alone the effect it’s had on the courts for the subsequent millennia.
Flipping the page, I find similar portraits of the various rulers. Though these are darker, with more shadows; they’re haunting. Some of the smiles are downright vicious.
I start to flip through without even really seeing them, but my hand freezes mid-turn when my attention snags on the portrait on the next page.
My eyes are locked on that of what looks to be a teenage boy with the Unseelie King and Queen I remember seeing in Fleur’s vision.
The resemblance between the boy to both adults is striking.
What’s even more striking is the familiarity with which I recognize in his own features.
The sharp jawline.
The strong nose.
The slightly shaggy, dark hair.
The light eyes that I know are a shade of ice blue, even though the image is grayscale.
It’s Bastian.
But even worse, seeing him with the Unseelie King and Queen, I come to a realization.
He was the little boy in the vision. He felt so familiar, but I couldn’t place my finger on why at the time.
Now it feels like a puzzle piece has clicked into place.
I feel like an absolute idiot for not picking up on it sooner.
When we first met, I asked if he worked for the royal family. In a manner of speaking, he had said.
When Robin showed up to pass along a summons from his mother. Your hi—. He was going to call him ‘your highness’.
Suddenly, every conversation we’ve ever had about his past plays on repeat.
My mother… is not the kindest of Fae. In fact, she may play a rather large role in the perception that the humans—even several of the Fae—have towards the Unseelie. She’s vicious, ruthless and will take what she wants.
I was raised by one cruel parent and one passive parent. My mother is your Unseelie of legends. And my father? Well, he was kind, but he let my mother take the lead on everything, including my upbringing.
He quite literally confirmed he was there when Fleur consulted the fates.
No, I don’t suppose you would’ve recognized me immediately, unless you knew to look for me.
They weren’t wrong though to hide you away. The Unseelie Queen won’t be pleased to know you exist. I’ve told you how it’s common knowledge that she wants to overthrow the Seelie Court and rule over all of Alinea.
I really am such an idiot. How could I not see it sooner? It was all so fucking obvious and right under my nose the whole time.
You didn’t want to see it, my voice of reason whispers in my mind.
My vision begins to darken around the edges. I feel nauseous.
Did he always know who I was before I told him what I learned?
Was he just trying to get close to me? Use me?
I think I’m going to be sick.
My chest begins to grow tight, and I realize I’m struggling to breathe.
I slam the book closed and push away from the table. The chair clatters to the ground behind me but I don’t even care.
“Your highness?” I hear Adriana call from behind me, but it’s as if I’m underwater. Her voice is distant and warped.
I stumble out the door with no real destination in mind.
I blindly stagger through the halls and around corners until I find myself outside the palace in the gardens at the entrance of what looks like a hedge maze.
Taking a few steps into the maze, I find a stone bench and immediately collapse onto it.
I bend over my legs, holding my head up and take long slow breaths in and out, trying to calm my rising panic and ease the nausea.
I blink my eyes until my vision comes into focus.
Bastian’s room in the cottage.
My stomach turns with anxiety at the confrontation that I know is coming.
Bastian is sitting on the edge of the bed with a soft smile on his face which only sends a sharp pang through my chest, knowing he’s been lying to me. That all of this is a lie.
Between him and Fleur, can I even trust anyone? I’m seething. I want to break something. I want to scream and yell until my voice is hoarse. I want to curl up in my bed and cry for a week. A year.
I never want to see him again.
How could you?
His smile falters the slightest before he rises to his feet and starts to take a step towards me. “Staellara, I’ve missed you.” I hold up my hand, halting his approach. His brows furrow in confusion and the smile drops into a frown. “Staellara, what’s wrong?”
“Don’t call me that,” I say sharply.
His head rears back as if I’ve hit him. My words a physical blow.
“I— Liv, what’s going on?”
“Who are you?” I bite out.
He tilts his head at me as if he’s unsure what I mean by the question.
“You know who I am… Sebastian,” he draws out slowly.
“You know that’s not what I mean,” I retort, an eyebrow raised in challenge.
The moment my words land, the confusion leaves his face, replaced by surprise. His eyes wide and eyebrows climbing toward his hairline.
Safe to assume he didn’t expect me to figure it out.
How stupid could I be? He’s probably been laughing at me the entire time.
“Are you really the Unseelie Prince?” I ask, fighting back against the way my voice wants to crack, but the hurt is still evident all the same.
His entire body deflates with my question. He falls back to sit back on the bed, and he drops his head into his hands as he lets out a defeated sigh. He doesn’t answer the questions until his head lifts to meet my gaze again. “I am.” Something akin to regret fills his eyes.
“And you, what? Thought that wasn’t something I needed to know?
” My voice rises in volume with each word I speak.
“Because in case you weren’t aware that’s probably something you should’ve told me, oh, I don’t know, days ago.
Maybe when I told you who I was? That probably would’ve been a good place to start. ”
“I know.”
“Or perhaps you could’ve said something while we were stuck with each other’s company while we traveled across Alinea.”
“I know,” he repeats.
“Our courts hate each other. We’re literal enemies. Two sides of a tense conflict. What did you really expect would happen here?”
“I don’t know,” he grits out.
“Were you going to pretend not to be the prince and we would… what? What exactly was the plan here?”
“I was going to tell you.” His voice is sincere, but he’s also been lying to me this entire time. He’s an incredible actor so I take it with a grain of salt.
I scoff. “Sure.” I pace back and forth through the room, running my hands through my hair. I halt, whirling on him. “Did you know who I was when we met?”
He flinches at my words. “Liv, no. I was telling you the truth when I told you we didn’t know that the princess existed. You were such a closely guarded secret. How would I have known it was you?”
“Then how is it that you happened to be the one to find me when I showed up in Alinea? Are you trying to tell me that that was a random coincidence? Because I don’t buy it.” I pause a moment, looking into his eyes and suddenly get a flash of a memory lost to time.
Not a memory.
A dream.
I’m just about close enough that I could almost start making out features when the figure shifts once more and it’s suddenly looking in my direction. That starlight catches on piercing crystalline, blue eyes staring right back at me.
No. No. No no no.
“Wait a minute.” I shake my head in disbelief, because there’s no way.
But him being here, dreamwalking, is a clear indication that it is possible.
“You’ve been in my dreams before all of this.
” His eyes widen a fraction. “How did you find me in my dreams? And then coincidentally find me again when I ended up here? Did you create the wisps that led me here? Am I here because of you?”
“I swear to you Liv, I didn’t know that you were the Seelie princess before we met.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “That wasn’t my question. I’ll ask again. Did you lure me into Alinea with the wisps?”
“No.” His denial is vehement.
“Were you in my dreams before this?”
I see him picking over his words, carefully crafting his answer before he speaks. “Yes, I was.”
My stomach drops. “Why?”
He hesitates. “I was looking for… something.”
“Did you find it?”
“Yes.”
“And what exactly did that have to do with me?”
“Everything!” he shouts, standing and throwing his arms out to the side. “You’re—” he cuts himself off abruptly and spins, so his back is to me, pulling his hands through his hair roughly.
“I’m what?” I ask, venom lacing my words.
He glances at me over his shoulder for a moment, thinking over his response. “Never mind, it’s not important.” He sighs, dropping his head down between his shoulders. “It’s just… you’re the only one I can trust nowadays.”
I scoff. “Trust? Trust?! What part of your lies should I interpret as you trusting me? You clearly don’t, or you would’ve told me who you were before I found out for myself.
You just think you can manipulate me. We’ve shared a few kisses and now I’m so enamored with you that I’ll go along with everything you say because I’m the naive little princess who was sheltered her entire life and doesn’t understand this world—”
“Liv, no—”
“— you don’t trust me! That’s not trust. That’s gaslighting and manipulation.
How am I supposed to believe a single word that comes out of your mouth anymore?
I can’t!” Tears prick my eyes and I’m breathing heavily after I finish my tirade.
“I just— I need some time to think about all of this, Bastian. This is all a bit too much. The secrets. The lies.” I sigh and look down at my feet.
“I can’t trust you.” I let out a harsh laugh as the tears begin to fall.
“I don’t think I have anyone I can trust at this point. ”
I pace away from him to put some more distance between us.
“Staellara, you can trust me,” he pleads.
I whip around to face him. “How am I supposed to know that? Truly? You’ve kept this massive secret from me that impacts our… whatever the fuck this is,” I motion my hand between the two of us. “So tell me how I can trust you to tell me the truth?”
“What else do you want to know? I’ll tell you anything.”
“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think? I need some space. I need to process all of this on my own.”
“Liv don’t do this. Please.”
“I just…” I rub my hands down my face in frustration. “Give me some time, Bastian. Let me figure this out for myself.”
He looks at me, agony and devastation shining in his eyes before he acquiesces to my request. With a small dip of his chin, the dreamscape dissolves.
I jolt awake in bed, blinking around in my dark bedroom. I desperately wish it had all been a terrible nightmare, but knowing it wasn’t only brings on more tears as I cry myself to sleep in this lonely palace.