25. Runaway
Runaway
SAM
Tommy was in a shit mood when I pulled up to his school that afternoon.
And that was saying something. I opened my mouth to call out to him as he approached the van, but thought better of it when I saw him shoulder check some other kid coming down the front steps.
They nearly got into it—I was preparing to get out to intervene—then the other kid yelled something and darted away.
I leaned back against the seat, tapping the steering wheel in three long taps, thinking about the best way to see what was bothering him, because I couldn’t let him bring this home to his mother.
The other day when we’d gone to get pizza and I’d wanted to get him to open up a bit, I’d come at it sideways.
I told a story about making an ass of myself in high school—I tripped on the stage lights during a play and fell onto the audience.
True story. Tommy had actually chuckled.
Then he told me about some kid in gym class who’d tied his own shoes together and fallen on his face onto the bench press.
I laughed. I wished Tommy would have told a story about himself, but it was progress.
Also, poor other kid. Tommy even wondered out loud about the mystery of why falling was funny, when it could actually be super dangerous.
I loved it when I got him to talk—he was smart and thoughtful, when he wanted to be.
But today? Tommy’s face when he saw me could have melted stone. I couldn’t help feeling a little punched in the gut. I thought we’d made so much progress. He stopped on the sidewalk in front of the car.
“Happy project presentation day!” I said. I picked up the little noisemaker I’d got at the dollar store yesterday, blowing in it. The funny sound it made had Henry laughing in the back. But Tommy just glared harder. “How’d it go?” I asked weakly.
“Where’s Elizabeth?” Tommy demanded.
I lowered the toy. He called his mom by her first name when he was pissed off. It wasn’t even the version she liked. I knew it crushed her.
I smiled calmly, resting an arm on the open window. “You mean your mom, right?”
Tommy’s expression grew even fouler.
O-kay. Maybe I’d just have to focus on letting him calm down. “She said she was so sorry she couldn’t be here, but she’s going to take you out after. Just the two of you.”
“Nah.”
I frowned. Nah?
“I’m sorry, Tommy. I know it sucks, but it’s not personal. She probably would have come if I hadn’t insisted on coming out and getting you myself.”
“So why did you?”
Ouch. “Because it would help her out. And I thought maybe you and Henry and I could hang out a bit.”
“Nah. You know what? I’m good. We don’t need your help. I’ll take the bus.” With that, he started walking.
Fuck. His words stung, but I was too busy trying to recalibrate. I didn’t have this in my playbook. And I couldn’t run after him with Henry in the back.
But before I could think of what to do, Tommy started jogging. The bus was coming.
I couldn’t stop him from getting on. But I could make sure he stayed on.
“I’ll just be back here,” I yelled out the window. I waited for the bus to stop, then I pulled into the street, idling behind it. I lowered the passenger window.
“Are you fuckin’ serious, dude?” Tommy hissed from the back of the line.
I smiled. “Yup!”
Tommy’s safety was number one, and if Ellie worked her schedule around picking him up so he wouldn’t get into trouble, I was going to make sure he didn’t get into trouble.
Tommy looked like he wanted to punch me out. But at least he got on the bus.
The bus was a milk-run route: it stopped every other block, and on the highway, every other mile. It was an hour later when we arrived at the stop closest to Ellie’s place. Luckily, Henry had fallen asleep in the back, so he wasn’t fussy. Unluckily, at the stop, Tommy didn’t get out.
What the hell?
He didn’t get out at the next stop, either.
I started to panic. Had he somehow gotten off when I wasn’t paying attention? But I’d scrutinized everyone disembarking. At every stop. I’d even examined anyone who looked mildly like Tommy in case he’d somehow found a way to disguise himself.
By the following stop, I was in full-blown sweats, convinced he’d pulled some kind of stealth Houdini escape. I waited for the bus to come to a complete stop, then swerved in front of it diagonally, so it couldn’t move.
I jumped out of the minivan just as the driver laid on the horn.
“Sorry!” I called out to her.
I leaned into the backseat, the driver yelling inside the bus now. When I pulled out Henry, she paled, running out to meet me.
“Is the baby okay? Is it a medical emergency?” Before I could do anything, she blew a whistle she’d produced out of nowhere, which promptly woke Henry up.
His eyes were round. Then he burst into tears.
“No!” I exclaimed. “A teenager emergency.”
She frowned, confused.
“The baby’s fine.” I didn’t have the time or energy to explain more. I ran onto the bus, Henry screaming now.
“Tommy?” I called.
My chest heaved with release as I saw Tommy, slouched in the back, his headphones on. When he saw me, his face flamed red.
It was a full bus. Everyone on it was staring. No, full-on ogling.
“Tommy,” I said. “Why’d you miss your stop?”
“Get lost!” Tommy said from between gritted teeth.
“Come on, I’ll take you home.”
Henry took a breath, then wailed louder than I’d ever heard him. He gripped my hair, managing to let his next scream loose directly into my ear.
“Kids these days, huh?” I said to the elderly woman next to me. I couldn’t hear a word of her response.
I bounced Henry, trying to calm him down, but he was truly agitated. So was I.
“Please, Tommy?” I pleaded.
Several people started expressing their discontent. “Get off the bus, kid!”
A grumpy-looking older man in front of Tommy huffed, stuffing his fingers in his ears.
I squinted. That was my old high school PE teacher.
He was an asshole. I think he called the unathletic kids names that ended up getting fired.
He didn’t recognize me, clearly. I strode over so Henry was screaming directly over him, which was also handy in getting me close enough that Tommy could hear me.
“Tommy, your mom’s going to get worried. She has this special thing planned for you tonight after dinner. I was going to order that chicken you like from the Purple Wok. It’ll be a good night.”
Tommy’s jaw pulsed. I knew I was probably fucking things up badly. He might never forgive me for humiliating him like this. But I needed to get him off the bus. I needed him safe.
Henry took a breath, then screamed again. I gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Sorry buddy. It’s okay.” In as gentle a voice as I could, I said to Tommy, “I’m not leaving you, Tommy.”
Tommy’s jaw pulsed.
But I didn’t drop my gaze. Because I meant what I said, and I wasn’t just talking about now. I didn’t ever want to leave him. Or Henry.
Or Ellie.
I tried to convey that through the way I was looking at him. And for a moment, I think I did. I saw that tight jaw wobble the tiniest bit.
Then the guy next to him said, “Kid, for the love of God, get in the car. For all of our sakes.”
Tommy’s redness intensified, and he abruptly shot to his feet, whatever moment had passed between us dead and buried. He squeezed past the guy.
The bus cheered as he stormed to the front. Normally I was a fan of a good stranger cheer. But this wouldn’t help. And it wasn’t kind to my kids.
“Hey!” I yelled. “We’re having a hard time here, okay? Be decent!”
The crowd’s celebration petered out. I ran after Tommy, but of course, he was storming down the street in the opposite direction on the riverfront walkway from home.
Making a quick decision, I strapped Henry into the van and took off, doing a tight u-turn.
“Sorry!” I called out the window to the bewildered bus driver.
I made it back to Ellie’s in record time, while still maintaining the speed limit for Henry. I rushed up the door, praying she was home. She should be by now, but if she wasn’t, I was handing Henry to Mrs. Oxford. Or Conrad, in a pinch.
But Ellie opened the door just as we were sprinting up the path, her expression bright.
Until she took in the situation.
Her face was immediately panicked, her voice high when she said,“What is it? Where’s Tommy?”
Henry had calmed down now, but he started crying again when he saw his mom.
“He’s okay,” I promised. I handed Henry to her, noticing vaguely that she smelled really good. Her hair was a little damp and she was wearing this pretty pink dress.
This current situation was quite literally the only thing that kept me from stopping and staring.
I looked Ellie in the eye and said, “He’s here. Somewhere. I’m going to find him.”
“Sam!”
I was good in dangerous situations. If you discounted that one time I wasn’t.
But I was confident when I said, “I promise, I’m going to bring him back to you, okay?
” I would. No matter what. Tommy may not be my son, but in this moment, it felt like he was.
I saw that hurt flash through his pain on the bus.
I felt it like it was my own. I’d stop at nothing to protect him. Not now, not ever.
Ellie’s chin wobbled. It broke me to have to leave her. Because I think I knew I was more than just crazy about her. I was—
I cut myself off, grasping her by the back of her head and kissing her forehead. I did the same to Henry. “I’ll be back, Ellie. I promise.”
Then I sprinted down the path.