CHAPTER 3 ALEK #3
Lia Mara turns toward the door as well, her pace more sedate. “Walk with me, Alek.”
I hesitate, then follow. The instant we pass the hall guards, I see them exchange a glance.
“People will talk,” I say to her, dropping my voice. “You may recall I was once suspected of working with the Truthbringers myself.”
I’m sure she does remember— because it was her own husband who made the accusations, after Tycho kept running his mouth. I wonder if she’ll mention that, but the queen huffs a breath, scoffing. “People always talk.”
But then she says nothing else.
After a while, I glance over. Her eyes are still red- rimmed, her frame slightly slumped. The hallways are dim and quiet, emphasizing her emotion— emotion that seems to weigh on the entire palace.
I realize I have to say something, so I finally offer, “Forgive me, Your Majesty. If you are seeking comfort, I may not be the best source.”
“I’m not.” She pauses, looking wistfully at a window. “There’s no comfort to be found here. Not now.”
“You’re grieving the loss of the king.”
“I’m not grieving,” she says sharply. “He’s not dead.”
“Ah,” I say. “Forgive me.”
She’s quiet for a long moment, and then she lets out a breath. “You’re right, though. I am grieving. In a way.”
“If it brings any comfort at all, there is a feeling of relief in the Crystal City.”
She glances over at me. “Is there?”
I nod. “It was not just the Truthbringers who feared his magic.”
She sighs, a sound full of regret. “I know.”
“At the risk of being indelicate . . .” I pause deliberately.
“Go ahead.”
“I have heard some question whether you were actually the true ruler of Syhl Shallow. That King Grey was. That you were merely his mouthpiece.” I glance over, finding her lips have formed a line. “It may benefit the people to know that you are still strong without him here.”
“You are speaking of force.”
I shrug. “I am speaking of power.”
She laughs, but there’s no humor to it. “I will never be like my mother, Alek.”
“No one expects you to be like your mother.”
“No one expects it, but I certainly don’t think they’d complain if I ruled with an iron fist. Not even you.”
I nod, conceding. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
She glances at me. “Tell me your thoughts. I wouldn’t have asked you to walk with me if I didn’t want to hear them.”
“You are grieving. As I said before, I will be little comfort. At best, I can offer judgmental cynicism.”
This time, her smile seems almost genuine. “Perhaps I need a dose of judgmental cynicism.”
We’re still strolling through the palace hallways, but just now, we’re a good distance from any guards or servants. I drop my voice and say, “I do find myself wondering . . . is it possible to demonstrate strength while looking like the absence of King Grey has broken you?”
Her breath catches, and her steps falter. Perhaps another man would apologize . . . but I won’t.
“I suppose I asked for that,” she says breathlessly.
“You did,” I say. “And you’re strong enough to take it.”
At that, she squares her shoulders and lifts her chin. “He ruled at my side for years, Alek. That is not a small thing to undo.” She bites at her lip, and her voice drops. “But they targeted me to get to him.”
She’s talking about the splintered group of Truthbringers who threatened her life. The same ones Karyl is hoping I’ll align with to help eliminate the queen now.
“Yes,” I say carefully. “They did.”
“Grey was never able to discover who was behind that plot,” she says.
“Nor was I,” I say.
“Before he left, Tycho indicated that the Truthbringers may have been working with these scravers to drive the king out of Syhl Shallow.”
I nearly stop short. The Truthbringers couldn’t be working with scravers. They couldn’t be. They’re trying to eradicate magic. There’s no way they could be using it.
But I think of that line in Karyl’s letter.
I have discovered a way to ensure success for our family.
No. There’s no way. Karyl hated magic as much as I do. I turn to face the queen. “Impossible.”
“Possible, Alek.” She pauses. “The army abandoned my husband on the fields when those scravers attacked. My advisers urged me to send him out alone. I know there are still Truthbringers among the soldiers.” She glances at me. “I believe you know it, too.”
This is growing a bit too close to an accusation of treason— or maybe she’s hoping for an admission. Either way, I’m not playing.
I shrug noncommittally. “I suppose there could be.”
She smiles, and for the first time, it reaches her eyes. “So savvy, Alek.”
“My loyalty, as always, is to you.” I look over so she can see that I’m serious. “Not to him.”
She gives a disgusted sigh. “You sound like Nolla Verin.”
“Do I?”
“She is overjoyed that Grey is gone.”
“I won’t admit to feeling any great sorrow myself.” I glance at her. “His magic endangered you and all your people. We’ve already lost so much.”
To my surprise, her eyes well. “I know.”
Please don’t cry, I think, glancing at the guards stationed at a distance.
People really do talk, and I’m shocked gossip about this hasn’t been burning tongues all over the city.
It’s a testament to her staff that they’ve kept the full nature of the queen’s condition a bit quiet.
But if she breaks down in sobs in the middle of the hallway, it’s definitely not going to give anyone the illusion of control.
I tsk lightly. “Is it time for more cynical judgment?” I say, trying to lighten the mood.
She gives a little laugh through her tears. “Please.”
I reach out and give her sleeve a gentle tug. “Honestly. Who dressed you this morning? This drab frock certainly did not come out of my House.”
Her eyes flare wide, and then she whirls on me, her tears forgotten. “Alek!” she cries, swatting my arm in feigned outrage.
“I am simply saying,” I intone, “that if you want to look like a pillar of strength, it might be best to find some fabrics with less . . .” I let my gaze skip up and down her form. “Less that.”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“Thank you.”
“No wonder Callyn likes you.”
I nearly stumble in the hallway. She said it so lightly, but she might as well have punched me in the face.
Callyn, I think. Please be here.
Immediately after the words flicker through my thoughts, I want to punch myself in the face.
She needs to be gone, and the magic needs to be gone with her.
Despite all that, I keep thinking of that nightmare, how instead of showing me the damage Callyn could cause, my brain kept showing me visions of a scraver ripping her apart.
I’m not tormented by thoughts of her causing harm; I’m tormented by thoughts of harm coming to her.
The longing in my heart isn’t calling for me to drive her away; it’s pushing me to ride to her rescue.
But I can’t, and it’s making me crazy.
Maybe I should be wearing a drab dress just like the queen.
“Alek?” Queen Lia Mara says, peering at me.
“You mentioned Callyn,” I say, trying to keep any emotion from my voice— though I fail spectacularly. “Is she—” I have to clear my throat. “Is she still caring for Princess Sinna? I . . . I hadn’t thought to ask after her.”
I’m such a liar.
Worse, I sound like a liar.
The queen hesitates, and I know she can hear it. But she nods. “Callyn and her sister are doing a fine job keeping little Sinna busy.” She sighs heavily. “As you can imagine, she misses her father.”
Every word is as light as everything else she’s said, but inside, I’m reeling.
She’s still here. A burst of joy explodes in my heart.
But it’s immediately followed by dread. The same words flicker through my brain, this time shrouded with warning.
She’s still here.
As if she can read my thoughts, the queen looks over. “Why did you come to court this morning, Alek?”
I think through every possible answer, and eventually settle on the most honest one. “Because I was worried about you.”
She considers that for a long moment. “Do I have reason to be worried?”
I hear what she’s asking— and I appreciate that she’s given me a way to answer without implicating myself.
“Yes,” I say grimly. “I believe you do.”
Her breath catches, and she looks up at me. “Do you know who?” she whispers.
“No,” I say.
Her expression turns sharp. “Alek.”
“I have no real names,” I say, which is the truth. “Only suspicions.”
The silence between us is suddenly very heavy. Her voice quiets. “What proof do you have?”
I think of those letters, all written in code, signed with names that lead nowhere. We were all so very careful . . . but now it leaves me with nothing tangible to give the queen. “Nothing at all.”
She lets a breath out through her teeth. “You must give me something.”
I consider that for a while, weighing everything that’s at risk.
“The king left to protect you,” I finally say. “It is good that he is gone— but I’m worried that his sudden absence has left you equally vulnerable.” I hesitate. “The scravers may have left Syhl Shallow,” I say quietly, “but the Truthbringers are still here.”
“You’re certain?”
“Yes,” I say, and I keep my voice very soft. “And for now, they know you’re alone.”
She turns to face me, and a flicker of strength breaks through the sorrow, reminding me that she is the queen, and there’s a reason she was able to take the throne from her vicious sister after spending all those years hiding in the corners with her books.
“Then I will send word to Ironrose Castle,” the queen says, and there’s a note in her voice I can’t quite parse out. “I will send word to the king. He must know the risk remains.”
My heart kicks. I wonder how much I’m hearing is hope that he’ll return— and how much is fear that he won’t. I wonder how the king will react to such a message— and how the Truthbringers will react if he attempts to come back.
But I nod, because I genuinely don’t know which outcome would be worse— for her, and for Syhl Shallow. If I’ve learned anything in the last few years, there’s a difference between what she wants and what her people want. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
“In the meantime,” she says, “you and Callyn must resume your visits among the Royal Houses.”
I have to jolt myself to start walking, but my heart is pounding. Inside, I’m spinning. Part of me is rejoicing. Another part— the shameful part— wants to curl up and hide.
Callyn.
I glance at the queen and tug at my jacket.
I really need to get it together. We’re passing another set of guards, so I emphasize my words.
“It will be a true delight to journey with Callyn again. And it is always a joy to visit the Royal Houses. I’ll send word to arrange meetings within the week.
” I drop my voice. “What will we really be doing?”
The queen looks at the window. “I can’t trust anyone here, Alek. You may be loyal to me, but I know your feelings about my husband. I know you played some role in everything that transpired here.”
I inhale sharply, but she cuts me off.
“Do not lie right to my face, or you will discover my cynical judgment.”
Her voice is so even, so pragmatic, but there’s a warning in her tone. She might be the gentle sister, but even she has a limit.
Maybe Queen Lia Mara is less broken than I thought.
I close my mouth. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
“And whoever plots against me clearly still trusts you if you know I’m in danger. But you have no names. You have no evidence.”
I hesitate, then nod.
She turns away from the window, and this time, her eyes are clear and piercing. “Find some.”