CHAPTER 12 CALLYN #2
The queen smiles in return, and it breaks through some of the melancholy on her face.
I don’t think I ever noticed it before, but there’s a tenor of .
. . of friendship between them. As if they have a history I was never aware of until this very moment.
It’s not romantic, because it doesn’t have that energy.
But it’s like that moment in the trap when Alek mentioned being a little brother.
It’s an awareness. An understanding. A shared loss. A depth I didn’t understand.
And all of a sudden, I realize why she once told me to hear Alek out. I understand why she sent me to visit him, as if she had no worries for my safety. I know why she sent him to fetch me from the arena.
There are no tricks here, no cunning, no guile. There’s just an ease here. Not necessarily trust, but it’s the comfort of family. Of being in the presence of someone you’ve known all your life.
In his silence, her smile widens. “You think I’m too altruistic.”
He offers half a shrug that mirrors hers. “That’s fair. You often think I’m too arrogant.”
I snort under my breath. He definitely is.
The queen must hear me, because she laughs lightly.
“If you agree with that, Callyn, then Alek is likely right about me, too.” She pauses, and the smile slips off her face.
She glances at the window, and I’m not sure what about the motion is telling, but I know she’s thinking of her husband. “Perhaps I am too altruistic.”
“I don’t think you are,” Nora says.
That brings the smile back. The queen reaches across the table to give my sister’s hand a squeeze. “I hope you keep thinking that. Don’t let Nolla Verin’s cynicism rub off on you too much, Nora.” She glances at me. “And don’t let Alek’s rub off on you.”
“You don’t have to worry about that,” I say.
“Callyn has made her feelings quite clear,” Alek agrees.
The note in his voice makes me frown, but the queen is giving Nora’s hand another squeeze, and then she sits back in her chair.
“I’m certain the two of you have news to report,” she says to me and Alek, “but Nora was surprised to hear that you were leaving the palace together.” She pauses, and there’s a weight in the sudden silence.
“Your sister was concerned that you’d never said a word about your continued friendship, Callyn. ”
Friendship. Is that what Alek and I have?
But as the queen says the words, I realize Nora is looking at me, and her eyes are dark with censure. She really has turned the corner to become less like an annoying little sister and more like a peer.
But the look in her eyes still slices right into me, and I let out a breath.
“Nora,” I begin . . . but then I don’t know what else to say.
In my silence, the queen says, “I told Nora that big sisters often keep secrets to protect the people they love.”
“That’s true,” I say, but the words feel hollow. Because I wasn’t just protecting my sister. If I’m being wholly honest, I was protecting myself, too.
Alek is listening to this from another angle, because his eyes are on the queen. “Do you keep secrets from Verin, Your Majesty?”
Her eyes narrow. “Oh, Alek, you’re not even being clever.” Without waiting for a response, she turns back to me and my sister. She gives Nora a wink. “Nora knows what secrets I’ve kept.”
My sister smiles, a bit of sunshine peeking through the storm clouds of her expression.
But then the queen looks at me. “Alek can tell me what you’ve learned, Callyn. I suggest you and your sister go for a walk.”
Nora’s smile vanishes. She looks as surprised as I feel.
But she rises from her seat at the table, so I do the same.
It’s so odd to walk beside her through the palace hallways. I don’t
really have a destination in mind, and I don’t think she does either, but it’s clear that sunlight and fresh air call to her.
Or maybe she’s just finding a place for herself among the recruits in a way I never have.
Either way, we end up striding down the stone steps to one of the many heavy wooden doors that lead out onto the training fields.
She hasn’t said a word, so I finally have to break the silence. “What secrets did the queen keep from her sister?” I say.
“Oh . . . just that she was falling for a man she shouldn’t have.” Nora’s eyes flick my way. “She didn’t want her sister to know, so she kept meeting him in secret.”
That’s so pointed that I nearly stumble on the path. “Oh, Nora!” I exclaim. A flush crawls up my neck. “That’s not what I was doing—”
“I’m not talking about you, Callyn. That really is the secret she kept from Verin.”
My head snaps around. “Wait. Really?”
She nods, keeping her eyes forward, avoiding my gaze now. It’s like she doesn’t really want to talk to me, but Nora can’t help the allure of gossip. “Apparently King Grey was first invited to Syhl Shallow to wed Nolla Verin.”
“Really.” I try to imagine the stoic, formidable king paired with the queen’s fiery and vicious younger sister.
In some ways, I can picture it: they’re both fierce and relentless on the battlefield, and I’ve never seen either of them flinch from conflict.
But as my mind envisions them together for anything other than battle, the illusion crumbles.
She’s too antagonistic. He’s too reserved. She’s relentless— and he never yields.
“Yes,” says Nora. “The queen told me that after King Grey and Tycho fled Ironrose Castle, she helped them cross the border into Syhl Shallow, knowing he was supposed to marry her sister to seal the alliance between our countries. I didn’t know this, but before the old queen died, Verin was intended to take the throne. ”
“That’s right,” I whisper. “I remember that.” Years ago, Mother used to talk about the younger princess being the queen’s favored. I look over. “You see why I don’t trust Verin. No wonder she’s such a bitter burn. There’s probably a part of her that resents her sister.”
“She doesn’t resent her! She spends her whole life making sure the army is prepared to protect her.”
“If you say so.”
Nora screws up her face, offended now that I’ve slandered her hero. “Fine. Forget it.”
I sigh. She sighs.
We walk in silence for another fifty feet. But she wants to keep gossiping. It’s killing her.
“Clouds above, Nora. Fine. I’ll build a shrine to Verin tomorrow. What happened?”
Nora glances over, her eyes flashing, eager to finish the story now. “Queen Lia Mara said she fell in love with Grey during the journey, but the alliance was more important. So she kept it from her sister in an effort to protect her.”
I wait for more, but that’s all she says. A bee drones past us, and I wave it away. “And?” I finally prompt.
“The secret eventually came out,” Nora says. “She said it was quite a relief. And then Queen Lia Mara took the throne anyway.”
She falls quiet again, and I wonder if she’s mad at me— or if she’s implying that I should be relieved that she knows something about my secrets with Alek now.
But I really don’t know how I feel.
“I’m not in love with Alek,” I say.
She makes a little hmph sound. “Are you sure?” she asks sarcastically.
“I don’t know what I feel about him,” I admit. “But . . . it’s definitely not love.”
That makes her peer at me. “Oh.”
I scrunch up my face and heave a sigh. “And I was trying to protect you, Nor. I never know if I can trust him. I never know if I can believe him. Until today, I don’t think I realized that the queen trusts him.”
She sighs, too. “Yes, I think she does, too. She says they practically grew up together. She knows he was involved with whoever was targeting the king, but she knows he’s always been on her side.
She told me that when she was a girl, she was always in the corner with a book while his family kept shoving him in front of the queen, but she definitely feels some kind of kinship with him.
” She peers at me again. “Maybe it’s a bit like you and Jax. ”
Jax. My heart gives a tug. I desperately wish I had a friend who could understand how much my life has changed.
But then I glance over at my sister, and consider all the secrets I’ve kept— and it makes me wonder if Nora is wishing for the same thing.
I let out a breath. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I shouldn’t have kept secrets.” I hesitate. “This isn’t an excuse, but I . . . I keep forgetting that you’re growing up.”
Maybe I’ve spent too much time with Alek, but I expect her to scoff or hold it against me. I should’ve remembered that Nora has always been quick to forgive and even quicker to forget. She hooks an arm through mine. “You can tell me everything now.”
She’s right.
So I reach down and rip a few blades of dried summer grass from the ground, then hold them out between my hands.
Nora frowns. “What are you—”
“I’m starting with this,” I say. “Watch.”
And then, as we look between my cupped hands, the blades of grass spark and sizzle with flame.