22. Chapter 22
Chapter twenty-two
Aras
O nce the words left his lips, Aras regretted them. It was too much out of nowhere, and he could tell as much from the expression on Dane’s face. “Sorry. Not my place to unload.”
“Well you can’t just leave it like that.” Dane popped up and flicked on the overhead lights, then sat back down cross-legged, giving Aras his full attention. “I mean you can, but you can also tell me whatever it is you feel comfortable with. I…you doing okay?”
Of course Dane was concerned. Aras had chosen one hell of a turn of phrase. “I’m fine. I just…do you like people? Crowds?”
Dane shrugged. “I don’t mind them.”
“Well I don’t like them. At all.” He really didn’t care much for talking about his distaste for other people either, but he was the one who was so stupid he let the cat out of the bag. “I hate being around people. I don’t do socializing very much, and that’s on purpose.” It was a bit childish, and definitely avoidant, but he grabbed his cake and picked at it, pulling apart one layer from the pale brown buttercream, but not taking any bites. “I didn’t do the math on it very well when I agreed to do the show. Didn’t want to let anyone else down, so I wouldn’t have said no even if I had.”
“But you act different with me than you do with the rest of the crew, too.”
Aras nodded. “Not proud of that. Trust me. I guess I’ve figured out that they can take it, so when I lash out, they get the brunt of it.”
“And you think Evander and Ozzy are annoying.”
Aras fought back a smile. “Pegged me right on that one. Love ‘em, but there’s a reason I never moved in with either of them.”
Dane raised an eyebrow. “You moved in with one of them?”
“After Robinson got out of prison, he wanted to move out of Jake’s place. Didn’t like feeling like he was a burden, but also had a hell of a time finding work. He moved out of Jake’s, told him he found a place. Moved in with me for three more months or so before he got a chance. He’s a damn good plumber, so once he was on the job, he was solid.”
“So you like him?”
“I like all the guys. Even when I think they’re annoying.” He scratched at a nonexistent itch on the back of his neck. “But getting through the camera crew and the lighting and the other contractors and hair and makeup and everyone else…I figured out that it’s a lot easier to get time to myself if everyone wants to stay away from me.” Aras sighed. “Present company excluded.”
“That’s just because you like my dick.”
Aras knew it was meant as a joke. That was the most obvious thing in the world. Knowing it didn’t prevent the barb from finding a soft spot and digging in. “I hope you don’t think it’s sex. I was low-key into you for months before I ever saw it. Not that your dick isn’t great.”
Dane moved a little closer. Not touching or anything, but closing a bit of distance and bringing his body heat in. “I’m glad you feel comfortable around me. But that doesn’t really address the mixed signals very well.”
Aras sucked in a long breath and looked up at the ceiling. Guess I didn’t dodge that bullet after all. He forced his gaze back down so he was making eye contact with Dane. He deserved Aras’s attention. This was important shit to discuss. “I shouldn’t be doing that to you. I know we can’t be a thing, but I keep pushing for it anyway. Selfish desires. Maybe I convinced myself at first that we were just being friendly and that was okay, but clearly I’m not stopping at friends.”
Finally, Dane moved all the way in, wrapping Aras in a hug. A surprisingly strong hug, which Aras leaned into. Leaned really far, until the two of them fell back onto the bed. Then somehow, Dane held him even closer. “Hear me out.”
“I don’t think I have much choice.” Aras gave a playful—he hoped—wiggle of his torso in Dane’s grip. “You’re too strong for me.”
“Bullshit, but whatever works.” Dane pressed his forehead to Aras’s, so close that Aras couldn’t focus on him properly anymore. So he only listened while trying to keep his hard-on from ruining the moment. “Pine Point Fixer-Uppers is a one season affair, right?”
“Assuming it doesn’t do well, yeah.”
“Right. And we’re most of the way through filming. Then we might never see each other again.”
That stuck into Aras the same way as that playful barb had before, but this one was made of ice. “Right.”
“So wouldn’t it make more sense to try being a couple now?”
“That doesn’t solve the power imbalance thing.”
“The power imbalance that’s only in your head? Or are you worried that, if you and I don’t work out, I’ll lose the job I’m only going to have for a couple more months anyway?”
That… Aras pressed in a little closer to Dane. “I hadn’t done the math on that either, I guess.”
“I figured. Anxiety’s not rational.” Dane’s fingers glided up Aras’s neck and raked through his hair. “Here’s how I see it going, as a paragon of rationality.”
“Let’s not get carried away, anime robot boy.”
“As the official paragon of rationality, it makes the most sense that we do couple things while we have the chance to be together. Try it out. Because if this ends up being serious, that means probably one of us moving to live with the other. We should know where we stand before committing to any kind of decision on that scale.”
And again, it made total sense, even though Aras’s belly still squirmed. “Moving across the country, huh?”
“Yeah. Big thing. Hence trying this now.” He sighed, and his breath washed hot and scented with vanilla custard over Aras’s face. “No pressure on that, though. We can just be a work fling and leave it at that if you’d rather. I just…it doesn’t feel like you’d rather.”
The ice already embedded in Aras’s gut chilled further. He didn’t like considering that this could be temporary…which was the problem. It was always the problem. Aras was antisocial and standoffish enough that he didn’t often find himself in a dating position, but way too much of the time when he did, he fell in deep. If someone was comfortable enough to be around that he even considered a relationship, that was a signal for every bit of his anxiety-riddled self to dump fully into them. Which made parting worse…and, if he was honest, it probably drove more than a few of them away. So the reasonable parts of him, rather than the emotional, latched onto the suggestion of a fling.
“Let’s…try that.” Aras had to see his face, so he pulled back just enough that his eyes could focus again. Dane’s cheeks had flushed, though that was likely simply due to their combined body heat. At least, that’s what Aras told himself. “A fling. And then if it works better than that, we can cross that bridge.” He wriggled an arm out of Dane’s grip and tapped him on the nose. “I guess you can have your title, too.”
Dane grinned, although pressed into the pillows, it was a little lopsided. “Paragon of rationality.”
“I won’t be using it in public.” Aras was determined to keep this light. He’d unloaded enough on Dane already. This was big boy decision making, and he was a big boy. “But yes.” He squirmed a little bit, just until he could see the screen again. “Now come on. We’ve got time for one more before I turn back into a pumpkin, and I want to see what the fuck the princess thinks she’s going to do about the rising spider squid things.”
“The demontide.” Dane finally let off his hug, but when he shifted around, he pressed himself firmly to Aras’s side before grabbing his phone again. “If we’re going to keep watching this, you’re going to need to get the terminology right.”
“As soon as you can tell me the difference between a Three Fruits bowl and a Three Fruits Medallion bowl. Until then, spider squid things gets the message across.”
“God, it’s like trying to tell my parents about anime.”
“Well, I’m a grouchy electrician who collects carnival glass. Did you think I wasn’t secretly an old person?” Light. Joking. No pressure. A fling.
He’d keep this a fling.