33. Chapter 33
Chapter thirty-three
Dane
“S o, what’s the deal with that piece?” Dane lowered himself into the now vacant chair and gestured toward the screen. “It’s really interesting. A lot more structured than most of the other patterns. No flowers or anything.”
“Yeah. Purple’s a pretty rare color in Memphis, especially for a complete set. Nothing absolutely mind blowing, but that set’s probably worth a few hundred bucks. And for a reason. It’s stunning.” Aras leaned forward and grabbed Dane’s hand. “You’re stalling.”
Dane looked up at the ceiling. Easier than looking forward. “I took the job. Too good of an offer. And…I’m leaving in a couple days for Atlanta to get settled.”
Aras’s grip tightened around Dane’s fingers, forcing his gaze back down. Dane saw the confusion, the discomfort, the pain on his face. Only for a second before his expression faded back to passivity. “That’s…fast. They must really want you on that job.” He released Dane’s hand. “So two more days?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Nope.” Aras’s back straightened and he pulled his shoulders back. When he looked at Dane, there was such an intensity to his eyes, it almost stopped Dane’s breath dead in his chest. His voice was gravel as it passed through his throat. “Don’t apologize for pursuing something good in your life. I will be fine. We will be fine.”
“We will?” Dane hated saying it, calling it back into question, but he had to. He needed to know if Aras meant it or if it was a slip of the tongue. Maybe most of all, he just needed to hear it again.
Aras’s body actually relaxed. He smiled softly. “We will be fine. If we’re not, then we’re not.” He sucked in a shuddering breath after saying that, but gave no other sign of his nerves. Not that he needed to. Dane had the same nerves scratching frantically against the underside of his skin.
“Don’t sound so confident.”
“This was always a trial run, right?” Aras scooted his chair closer, rubbing his thumb over and over on Dane’s knuckles. “The timeline just got moved up a little bit, and we got a little bit more pressure put on the situation. But if that’s enough that we suddenly fall apart…well, that’s the results of the trial, isn’t it?”
“What if I don’t like the results?”
Aras shook his head. “We don’t know them, so that’s way too early to say.” He gave Dane’s hand a squeeze, then released his grip. “I’m not ready to call it at least until we finish our show. Wouldn’t be right to leave that halfway finished.”
Dane laughed in spite of himself. “The show? If I didn’t know better, I might think you’re only keeping me around for my taste in anime.” It was good to keep it light. If they pretended—if Dane pretended—well enough, then maybe the two of them could plaster over the bad parts. A broken bone only needed a little time forced together and it would heal. Dane’s ambitions were breaking them apart, but they could plaster it over.
“Not only your taste in anime.” Aras leaned in closer. “We’ve talked about your dick.”
“In public and everything?” Dane looked around. The playfulness helped, so he leaned into it. And he leaned in physically, pressing his forehead to Aras’s. “I wish I could stay, but—”
“Little break. That’s all it has to be. We’ll set up times to watch while you’re gone. We’re both on the east coast, so same time zone. I don’t think this is going anywhere.” Dane sighed as he felt rough fingers twining into his hair, holding him in place, and as Aras’s words washed over his cheeks. “And we have two days to settle things. Good foundation.”
“More nights of junk food.”
“Obviously.” Aras pulled back enough that Dane could see him properly. “If you’re going to be away, I can finally let myself go and pig out. You won’t be there to judge my body.”
“I’ve already made my judgment.” Dane patted his cheek, then sat up straight. “I should go actually do some work, and you have stuff to do. But same time as usual?”
“Obviously.” Aras gestured to the computer screen. “I’ll be working a damn office job until then.”
“Well, maybe I’ll give you a good hand massage while we’re watching tonight.” Dane raised his hand, making a concerted effort to keep it steady as he waved. Once he was out of sight in the backyard, he released a shuddering breath and his eyes fuzzed with brimming tears. They’d made it through the conversation, but he knew it hadn’t resolved anything. Not really. They were going to drift apart and the only thing holding them in orbit with each other was hope. Fragile, delicate hope.
Once he collected himself, he pulled out his phone. He knew nothing about hand massages, but he intended to follow through.
It was easy, with a couple containers of Thai food and the next episode of Ancient Protectorate queued up, to slip into a familiar pattern. Dane welcomed the normalcy as they settled into bed next to each other. He looked over at Aras. “Tough day at the office?”
“It was awful. I had to spend the whole day looking at pretty glass and playing home decorator.” He popped open his container of pad see ew. “Truly, God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.” He popped a piece of broccoli into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. “You have anything exciting after your meeting? Fill me in on some gossip from whoever you were filming, at least.”
“Not much gossip.” He didn’t want to focus on the meeting, even in relation to the rest of his day. Just for the one night, they could continue to pretend. “Back yard looks pretty amazing. I honestly didn’t think Ozzy was going to be able to pull off very much, but he’s made it work.”
“Don’t tell him I said it—he doesn’t need any bigger of an ego—but he does damn good work.”
They sat and ate for a while, watching their show. It was one of Dane’s favorite shows, but now it was inextricably linked to Aras. If this didn’t work out and the long distance really shattered them apart, would he able to watch it again? How long would it take for it to no longer be their show?
After the first episode, and with his belly full, Dane reached over and took Aras’s hand. He worked his thumb into the muscles and tendons, doing his best with limited research. “I think I promised you this.”
“I think you did too.” Aras leaned over and kissed him on the top of the head. Then on the forehead. Then on the cheek. Then on the lips, shooting a dart of warmth through Dane’s head and down his spine and straight to his crotch. But he didn’t listen to the lust rising through him. Dane just worked over Aras’s hands and breathed deeply when Aras shifted and laid his head on Dane’s chest. Then he started the next episode and they watched together, even as the massage eventually shifted into nothing but hand holding.