Chapter 37
Adam and I hover in awkward silence as we wait for the singer of the band to come and talk to us.
Just because Si didn’t come with us, it hasn’t made it any less awkward.
It’s like no one knows where they stand, so no one knows quite how to act.
Out in the audience, with our mates, it was easy to avoid each other – we both had plenty of other people to talk to.
Here, now, just the two of us… it’s like we’re both scared to speak, scared of crossing a boundary, or getting carried away, or saying the wrong thing and making things worse.
It’s a relief when Marty, the man we’re here to see, joins us.
‘Hi, I’m Marty,’ he says when he finally appears. ‘So, what did you think?’
‘You were great,’ I tell him. ‘Definitely the sort of band we want to play.’
‘Absolutely,’ Adam adds. ‘You’ve got a unique sound, but I think it will work really well with the other bands we’ve booked.’
‘Cheers, dude,’ Marty replies. Despite being just some guy in a local band, Marty looks every inch the rockstar he wants to be – he already oozes all the charm, charisma and confidence of a celebrity. ‘So, I’ve impressed you guys, does that mean we’ve got the gig?’
‘It does,’ I tell him excitedly.
‘We’re the only ones that matter,’ Adam jokes. ‘And you impressed both of us, that’s all it takes.’
‘Mr and Mrs Festival,’ Marty says with a laugh. ‘You two are a couple, aren’t you?’
Adam and I look at each other for a moment. Then back to Marty.
‘Oh, er, we aren’t actually, a, er…’ I babble at Marty, who clearly has no idea that he couldn’t have made things more awkward if he tried.
‘Oh, sorry – well, I’m shocked,’ Marty says. ‘You’ve just got that couple-y vibe about you, you know?’
Adam and I exchange glances again, still not knowing what to say to one another.
‘Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I’m making things weird and I’m worried you’re going to withdraw your offer, so let me buy you both a drink,’ Marty suggests, at least half joking.
‘Cheers, mate,’ Adam replies. ‘And no need to apologise.’
‘You guys go ahead, I’ll catch you up,’ I tell them.
‘You sure?’ Adam checks.
‘Yeah, I’ll just nip to the loos, and I’ll be right with you,’ I reply.
As the two of them head for the bar, I plonk myself down on the nearest seat.
It’s interesting that Marty says he gets couple-y vibes from the two of us, because, if I’m being completely honest, I feel it too.
Adam, on the other hand, is clearly putting the time and effort into showing me that there is absolutely nothing between us – that must be what Becka was in aid of.
Proving to me that he’s not interested, that he’s seeing whoever he wants.
I wonder how many people he is seeing. I suppose, if he fancies a girl at work, and he thinks I’m going to be a bunny boiler about it at home, he’s right to set boundaries, to remind me of my place.
Isn’t that just what I’m doing with Si? Trying to make my intentions – or lack thereof – clear?
I need to practise what I preach. I want Si to get the message that I’m not interested in him; Adam clearly wants me to get the message that he’s not interested in me.
Ugh, I just wish things were different. I wish things between me and Adam could go back to how they were.
I wish Si and I had kept things strictly platonic from the get-go.
I wish there was a way for this to all work out, but I’m officially out of ideas.
I definitely, definitely need to move out.
And, of course, that means moving back in with my parents. Regressing again. Back to my mum meddling, my dad having me try spoon after spoon of different flavours of jam, back to feeling like a kid in my old room.
At least I still have my job – for now. I just need to focus on that.