Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Creed
I’ve crossed the line I vowed to never cross. All it took was a single moment of weakness. That glimmer of want in her eyes, the way she looked at me, dragging me into her soul.
I should never have kissed her.
I’ve messed it up for both of us. Truth is, I wanted it to happen, I have wanted it to happen since the moment Royce brought her home.
Pacing outside her door, I fight with myself whether to go in there and apologise, to scoop her face up in my hands and kiss her like my life depends on it. But after twenty minutes of back and forth, I decide against it.
No good will come of this situation.
Especially because I have created a social media job just for her. I wanted her to take it, but I think I have fucked that up, too. I really shouldn’t have kissed her.
Sighing, my chest vibrates as I do and only then, do I decide to walk into my room.
“Colby,” I say quietly into my phone.
“Lex?” He sounds unbothered.
“Can you make sure the jet is ready to go?”
“Sure thing, what time will you be there?”
“Under the hour.”
“Cool.” He cuts the phone off.
I didn’t miss my flight. I chose to cancel it because I wasn’t ready to go home. But now? I’ve left catastrophic destruction in my wake because I gave in. She is my Achilles heel.
Tossing my phone on the bed, I start pulling my clothes off the hangers and rummaging through the drawers before stuffing it into my suitcase.
I had planned to take her out on the yacht later this afternoon, wanted to watch the sunset and have dinner in the moonlight but I ruined it.
I should have never kissed her.
I knew when I was kissing her that it was going to end this way. If it wasn’t me that realised it was wrong, it would have been her.
But of course, I was the bad guy. Fucked it all up in a matter of minutes.
Dragging my suitcase off the bed, I move to the main area of the penthouse and pack my laptop and odds and sods into my rucksack.
Hovering by the door, I debate going to say bye, but I know no good is going to come of that.
And I may get a shoe to the face, or a fist… either is not something I fancy.
Sighing, I open the door and walk out, not looking back. Dick move, yes, but honestly, I think that’s the end of me and Ana?s Sinclair.
Touching down in London, I still feel shitty. There’s an annoying tightness in my chest and my stomach feels upside down. I hate it. Stepping off the plane, Colby is standing there waiting to greet me.
“So, he returns.” Sarcasm drips from his lips and I roll my eyes.
“Had to come home at some point, Colby.” I smirk, pushing my case into his hands and getting in the waiting car.
“I’ve not missed you,” he grits out as he puts the case in the back of the car then climbs in beside me.
“Feeling is mutual, my man.” I wink then slip my glasses on.
“You have Cowan’s contract on your desk.”
“Perfect, any other messages?”
“Nothing important.” Colby looks at his phone, tapping away at emails and I nod.
“How has Royce been?”
“Busy. Constantly been in the sim. We put him out on track yesterday and he is happy with the way the car felt. But, you know, this is Royce. He could find something wrong with it tomorrow.” He shrugs, turning his face to look at me deadpan.
“Well, at least he likes it today.” I smile. “That’s something.”
“That’s true.” He looks away from me and the rest of the drive is in silence, which suits me just fine, because I am smothered by this turmoil of guilt and regret.
Walking into the office, I am greeted by my team, and it feels good to be back. Sitting at my desk, Colby is behind me, hot on my heels.
“I think you were lying in the car, Colby.” I look up at him over my computer. “I think you have missed me.”
He laughs loudly and then abruptly stops, his smile vanishing as quick as the strange sound that filled the room just seconds ago.
“No.” He lifts his nose in the air and walks out the room, leaving me to go through a stack of paper.
I push all that aside for the moment and focus on the contract.
Once I have read through it, I’ll send it to HR to make sure I haven’t missed anything.
Last thing I would want is to fuck up and get stung because I had missed a clause.
The contracts are sneaky like that, there will be hidden clauses throughout.
I should know because I scatter them in mine.
You can never be too careful when it comes to your drivers.
Once they’re locked in, you want them to stay there unless it is your choice to kick them from their seat.
Walking into an empty house has my gut twisting. It’s quiet. I flick on the lights, my bags are already here from the flight. I sigh as I toss the keys onto the side table, I push through into the kitchen and raid the fridge for a beer or two.
The evening is drawing in, and I am sat in the snug area, eyes fixed out into the darkness. Not quite Monaco, but it’s home.
Swigging from the bottle, my phone is beside me. I sent Paula in HR the contract and she said she would update me tonight. I was eager to get this across the line before anyone else got wind that Cowan Pierce was thinking of joining Saint Onyx.
If someone knew he was available, they would take him. He is up and coming. Drives aggressive and only worries about himself, and I really do believe not only my team, but Royce needs him too.
Draining the bottle, I place it on the table and reach for my phone. Swiping down on my screen, my inbox still sits empty and my brows furrow. I shoot Paula a quick message to ask for an update, she simply replies: soon.
Nibbling on the inside of my lip, I open up my social media and have a flick through on my private account and find Ana?s.
I’m under an alias, so she would never know it was me.
I hit follow then skim through her photos.
She hasn’t posted since the night I gate crashed her evening.
She was the only account I was following.
Uneasiness settles in my stomach, and I hate that I left the way I did. She deserved an explanation but how do you explain it? We weren’t the right fit. We wouldn’t work. You dated my son.
Fuck.
The last one has my chest aching and my palm is there, rubbing small circles trying to alleviate it, but it’s no use. It’s still there, still prominent. I hate that.
The second bottle of beer goes down a little too easy, and after a minute, I am up and fetching another two. I shouldn’t be having anymore but all I can see is her face, the way her eyes locked on mine, glistening blues with unshed tears. I crushed her in a matter of seconds.
It was harsh and I hurt her, but I had to do it. Once the emotions calmed down, she would understand.
I sip the beer this time, not so eager to down this one as quick. My finger taps on the armchair of my sofa, eyes locked forward when my phone pings with an email. With a heavy inhale, I place the bottle down and swipe my phone.
“Please be good news,” I whisper to the abyss as I open it up.
Reading the email, my heart is in my throat.
We’re good to go.
“Yes!” I shout loudly and then wince, worried I would wake her when realisation settles in that it is only me here.
No one else.
She is still in Monaco.
I shut the thoughts down; I need to go to bed. I am tired and everything is escalated when you’re tired. Putting the still full beer bottle in the fridge, I finish the rest and leave the empty bottles on the side. I’ll deal with them tomorrow.
Making sure everything is locked up, I take myself upstairs and collapse onto my bed. Rolling on my back, I place my phone on charge and stare at the ceiling for a while, trying my best to not let my mind wander to the pretty red head I left in Monaco.
There’s that ache again, lodging itself into my chest.
“Fuck this.” I push up and move for the shower.
The hot water cascades over my body, the powerful jets hitting my skin, pinching for just a moment before easing away.
Scrubbing my body, I rinse off and shut the shower down.
Stepping out into the steam filled bathroom, I wrap myself up in a towel.
Brushing my teeth and rough drying my hair, I pad back into the bedroom and pull on my pyjama bottoms. Loose, black, wide leg. Comfort is key.
Hanging up the towel to dry, I finally climb into bed and groan with how good it feels.
I love the penthouse, but my bed is amazing.
When I move out there, this will come with me.
Rolling on my side, I will myself to fall asleep. The tiredness I felt downstairs has left and all I feel is wired.
My mind is too powerful. It plunges me back to this morning when I woke up, arm over her body as I held her close, my cock hard from pressing into her.
Shamelessly, I hate to admit that I took myself out of that bed as quick as I could and jerked off in the bathroom.
I’d needed to. My cock ached at the thought of being inside of her.
But that’s all it will be. A thought.
Rolling on my back, I feel my cock swell beneath my pyjama bottoms, and I smother myself with the pillow and push the images of her out of my head.
I am so fucked.
Ana?s
He fucking left without a word. Snuck out like a dirty one-night stand. Except it wasn’t even that, was it?
I am so stupid to have thought that something would have happened between us. He was right to stop it, but still, it hurt. He pushed me away. Then he left me alone.
Curled onto the sofa, I stare numbingly at the wall in front of me. Rue has tried to call a couple of times, but I don’t have it in me to this pathetic excuse of a girl at the moment. I need to pick myself up and dust myself off.
Rejection stings.
But we probably would have regretted it if it happened.
I am more sad that this has most likely ruined our friendship.
Annoying.
Letting out a heavy, over the top sigh, I move myself from my Ana?s shaped imprint on the sofa and move to drink coffee. I need it. Wrapping my hand around my mug, I bring it to my lips and inhale its scent and it’s heavenly.
I sit in the small chair, overlooking the quiet town beneath me. Sipping the coffee, it rebirths my soul in some way and I do nothing else in this moment except enjoy the silence and drink.
I’m dressed in a khaki two piece; my earlier outfit had been ripped off my skin and discarded. I couldn’t wear it again. It was tarnished with Creed.
And it not in a good way.
Pulling my hair from my face, I tie it up then grab my bag with my book and vlogging camera. Pacing into the living room, I swipe my phone and walk out the apartment.
I arrive at Rue’s and let myself in. She is tucked behind her desk unboxing new arrivals.
“Hey,” I say a little sheepish as I peer down at her.
“Oh, good, you’re alive.” She snaps her head towards me and rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, sorry… not a good morning,” I admit then slump myself down into the chair, dragging my bag onto my lap.
“Why? What happened?”
I stay mute for a moment, deciding whether I should say anything or not. Who am I kidding? She’ll pry it from me.
“Creed happened.”
She turns her body to face me know and falls back onto her bum, legs reaching out in front of her, hands resting on her knees. “What?” she says a little louder and I slide down into the chair.
“We kissed,” I mumble, breaking eye contact with her and focus on the woven threads of my bag, fingers drumming.
“And?”
“Well.” I nibble my bottom lip then suck in a breath. “Then things started heating up…” I trail off, flicking my eyes up to look at my friend and I hate that she is smirking. “This is not a time to smile.” I narrow my gaze on her.
“Sorry.” She twists her lips, fighting the stupid grin on her face.
“Things would have happened… but he stopped them, and I was so humiliated.” I drop my face into my hands, trying to hide myself.
“That’s not good,” she mutters, and I look up at her.
“No, it’s not,” I admit, sitting back and groaning.
“How was it left?” She pushes to her feet and places her hands on her hips.
Puffing my cheeks out, I hold my breath for a moment before I begin to talk, letting the air seep from my lips slowly. “I shut myself away in my room, and when I came out, he was gone.”
“As in gone for a walk?”
“As in got on his plane and flew back to London.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widen; she looks a little shocked.
“Yeah.” I nibble my bottom lip. “Not ideal really, is it?”
She shakes her head. “I mean… that is a bit of a dick move.”
“A bit?!” I shriek and she shrugs.
“Okay, it was a huge dick move.”
“Proper huge.” I shake my head. “So, now I’m all glum and sad and I don’t really know why because we were never anything more than what it was, a double booking between acquaintances. Does me a favour, anyway, puts a nice wedge between us.” She nods.
“Also,” I continue, not giving myself a second to bring up air, “I have been offered a job with Saint Onyx on their social media team. Literally a dream job for me but now I am thinking it’s not the right thing to do,” I admit with a shrug.
“Why not?” She stares at me blankly. “And I meant that in the nicest way, because I would really really miss you, but… why would you turn down a dream job because of a man?”
“Plural,” I correct her.
“Okay, men.” She frowns at me. “I think you’re being ridiculous.”
“Maybe.” My tone is nonchalant.
“No, not maybe.” She shakes her head and goes back to unboxing.
“That’s your opinion.” I smirk and pull my book out of my bag, getting comfortable before I begin to read.
“Enjoying it?” she asks.
“Loving it.” I beam and lose myself between the pages whilst she works.