Chapter 16 Daisy #2
I try to hide my disappointment. All I want is to be wearing his sweatshirt again, to be wrapped in his smell. Which is so
random, since I’m literally with him.
“So, Daisy, what’s new in Daisy-land?” he asks as we begin walking the trail.
“You already know everything,” I tell him. We’ve been spending a lot of time together. It’s not like he’s missed much.
“Then what’s new in Eden and Georgia land?” he asks, grabbing a stick and using it to needlessly whack at weeds and underbrush
on the sides of the path.
I shrug. “Well, Eden had a really hard time with Leo showing up at the party Saturday. We already talked about that.”
“Yeah, that was my bad. I made him storm off. I didn’t even know the guy was there!”
“I know. But it’s not your fault at all. He was being weird. That’s on him.”
Mateo shrugs. “Think I should say sorry to Eden anyway? I really thought it was just a funny inside joke, the whole sabotage
thing.”
“You don’t have to do that,” I tell him. “It’s nice of you, though.”
“Eh, I don’t know if it’s that nice of me. I think you give me too much credit sometimes, Daisy.”
“Do I?” I don’t know why this statement bothers me, but it kind of does. Like he’s suggesting I’m wrong about him.
He laughs. “Nah, you don’t. Changed my mind. I’m just as great as you say.”
I laugh, too. “You are! Anyway, Eden’s struggling, but honestly, it’s Georgia I’m more worried about. She’s been so off lately.”
“Ever since the party?”
“Actually, maybe even before then.”
Mateo sighs. “I guess she probably has a lot to process.”
“A lot to process?”
“Well, Rhys must’ve told her the truth. Maybe they broke up because of it.”
I stop walking. “Wait, what?”
Mateo stops too. “I mean, I’m not sure if they broke up, I’m just saying I would understand if that’s what she wanted. I think
it was probably inevitable anyway.”
“What? What’s inevitable? You lost me. What did Rhys tell her about?”
Mateo puts his hands up. “Sorry, sorry, maybe I misspoke. I don’t know what they talked about, I just know that he was going
to tell her about Lindsay. I don’t know when, though.”
“About Lindsay?! Lindsay who?” My face feels like it’s going to burn right off, and I’m starting to hyperventilate. “Who the hell is Lindsay,
Mateo?”
Mateo looks suddenly guilty. “Oh shit. You don’t know any of this. Shit shit shit.”
“Now you have to tell me,” I demand shakily. Even though part of me really, truly does not want to hear what he’s going to
say next.
Mateo shakes his head. “It’s none of our business—mine or yours. Rhys and Georgia were gonna take a break once college started
anyway. Let’s just say it’s probably coming a bit sooner than that now.”
“Take a break? No, they weren’t! They have a whole life plan,” I say, aghast.
“That’s not what I heard.”
“From who?”
“From Rhys!” Mateo says with a shrug. “He’s always said to me that he wants to be able to play the field in college. It’s
only natural. We’re all pretty young to be thinking about settling down.”
I stare at him. We’ve both stopped walking, and though we’re standing still, it feels like the earth is spinning too fast
beneath us. All I can do is blink. Am I going to throw up? Am I hallucinating this whole conversation?
Mateo sighs again and puts an arm around me. “Daisy. Don’t look so shocked.”
I swallow a hard lump forming in my throat. “I can’t. I am so shocked.”
“They’ll figure it out together, okay? I’m sure they will. They’re both mature.”
“But you never said who Lindsay is?”
Mateo squeezes me closer. “Come on, let’s go look at that view. Are we close to it?”
I pull away. “Rhys is cheating on my sister, isn’t he, Mateo? You understand why you need to tell me this, right? It’s my
sister. It’s her heart on the line. I can’t just do nothing with this information. You have to tell me everything.”
Mateo runs his hand through his hair. “She’s just one of the other interns in the program. I don’t know that any actual cheating
has happened. But he has expressed . . . interest. That’s all I can say. That’s truly all I know. But this isn’t even about her, really. Lindsay is just the symptom.”
The symptom?! My heart feels like it’s being twisted and wrung out like one of the towels in the tennis club locker room after it falls
into a gross puddle outside the showers. My head suddenly kills—a pressure headache from the cold humidity and the overwhelm
of this information. What do I do? What do I do?
“Do you still want to keep hiking? I didn’t mean to murder the vibe completely,” Mateo says.
“No. No, I need to get home. Right now.”
“Okay, sure, no worries.” He sighs. “I feel really bad about this, Daisy. I feel like such a dick. First, I fucked things
up for Eden, and now this.”
As we start to walk back to the car, my mind is reeling, but this gets through somehow: Mateo did kind of mess things up for Eden at the party. He says he didn’t mean to—just like he didn’t mean to blurt out anything about Rhys possibly cheating and wanting to dump my sister just now.
He brings these things up so casually. Like he doesn’t care what the consequences are, doesn’t see how anyone could be hurt.
They’re just punch lines. It’s so . . . insensitive. Does he even know he’s doing this?
I’m suddenly very, very angry at Mateo. I know it’s not really his fault—it’s Rhys’s—and you’re not supposed to kill the messenger.
But seriously, how does he not get how horrible this is? I choke back a rising sob in my chest. Poor Georgia. She has to know.
She has to know now.
We get back to the car, and before I can open the door, Mateo stops me. “You’re not going to say anything, are you? I really
think you should let Rhys tell her when he’s ready, if he hasn’t already.”
“Are you kidding?” I nearly scream. “No way am I just sitting on this information.”
Mateo frowns. He gets into the driver’s seat and slams the door. “I understand you’re upset. But you do realize this is going
to put me in a really bad position. If Rhys hasn’t spoken to Georgia yet, he’ll kill me for saying something.”
I swing toward him. “You really think that’s my biggest concern?
Rhys is a selfish, narcissistic asshole.
” As I spit this out, I feel the truth of it—since long before this news.
Rhys has strung my sister along for years, made her feel like she’s the center of the universe when they’re together, then out of sight, out of mind when they’re apart.
He’s always praised her “independence,” but I bet he just wanted to protect his own opportunities to flirt with other girls and live his life.
All while my sister was planning their life together.
I’m so angry I don’t know if I’m going to punch something or puke or burst into tears.
Mateo turns on the engine. “I’m sorry, Daisy. I thought you knew. I thought they’d already talked. Maybe they have? Maybe
that’s why Georgia’s been acting strange?”
I shake my head. “No way. If they’d had this talk, I would know. Trust me.”
We drive in silence for a few minutes, and I hear Mateo take a breath, like he’s trying to figure out how to say something.
I’m so tense, braced for whatever comes next, that I almost don’t want him to open his mouth.
But eventually, he does. “Look, I hope this doesn’t make you hate me. Or Rhys, for that matter. For what it’s worth, I really
don’t think he’s done anything wrong.”
“You don’t?!”
“It’s not that he doesn’t care deeply for Georgia. I’m his best friend, and I know he does. But it’s really not . . . unreasonable to, like, want to figure life out after high school. It’s not a time to be in a relationship.”
My chest feels like it’s caving in. Not a time to be in a relationship.
I feel so stupid. So very, very, very stupid.
I look at him out of the periphery of my vision, afraid if I turn to face him fully, all the emotion will break out of me like rain from heavy clouds. “Call me naive, but I guess I didn’t realize there was a right or wrong time for a relationship, if you actually care about each other.”
Mateo just sighs.
I stare at the road ahead of us, watching the broken middle line dissolve over and over again as we drive onward, leaving
all my pathetic little hopes and fantasies in the past. “I guess your theory applies to us, too.”
“Daisy.” Mateo’s voice sounds broken. And I can’t help myself. I turn to look at his face, desperate to see regret written
there, or reassurance, or something. Instead, I see him working his jaw like I’ve seen him do in the middle of a tough tennis match. “I hope I didn’t give
you the wrong idea about us. I really do like you. These past few days together have been such a blast.”
These past few days.
“You’re sexy and refreshing and a barrel of laughs,” he says, only making it worse.
A barrel of laughs. Is that supposed to be a compliment?
“But we both agree it’s just a casual thing. A summer thing. Right?”
I try to nod as if I’m completely cool with what he’s saying, but I can’t. The lump in my throat is so big that I know if
I move my head at all, it’s going to come spewing out in the form of an embarrassing sob. I try to choke it back, but it hurts
too much.
He puts a hand on my leg, keeping the other on the steering wheel. “I just want to make sure we’re on the same page.”
The same page. The same page?!
We are barely on the same planet right now.
Again, it’s too painful to speak. I try to breathe and regain control. I don’t know if I’m more hurt or humiliated. I blink
back approaching tears.
“Daisy,” he says, more softly. “Oh, Daisy. Come on. It’s been fun, but what did you think this was? A real relationship? I
mean, we’re not even sleeping together. I don’t feel like I need to apologize for anything.”
I stare at the road, though my ears are ringing loudly now. I’m helpless, gripping the door handle for dear life. There’s
no way I can speak without revealing the truth of how I’m really feeling.
And that isn’t for him to know. He doesn’t get to see my true feelings.
We pull up in front of the lake house silently. I gather my stuff and open my door, summoning all my willpower. Then I get
out of the car and finally turn to face him.
“Thanks for the ride,” I say. “I think I can find my own way home after today.”
I slam the door.
Inside, I march straight upstairs, swiping wetness from the corners of my eyes, to knock on Georgia’s bedroom door. There’s
no answer, so I peer in—empty. I remember I didn’t see her car outside, so she’s not home yet. Though the truth of what I’ve
learned is burning up inside me, I also realize I don’t know how I’m going to break it to her. I need to process. I need to
prepare. I need to find the words.
I can’t bear to think of how hurt she’s going to be. I can’t bear to have to sit there and see it.
Besides, I can barely keep myself together anyway.
So, I walk past her room and head to my own, throwing myself down on the bed, and let it all come pouring out.
When I’ve cried for close to an hour into my pillow—replaying every single excruciating moment with Mateo, the good and the
bad, hating him, wanting him back, wishing I hadn’t basically ended it, but also proud of myself for doing just that—I roll
over and stare at the ceiling, wiping my eyes.
And then I do the next most natural thing to do. I go to the desk and pull out a sheet of paper.
Dear Owen, I’m more ready for that European vacation than you can possibly imagine. Things up here at the lake haven’t gone
like I thought. You’ll probably think this is absolutely dumb and embarrassing—because it is—but I feel like I need to tell
you everything. I trust you to burn this after reading it. I trust you to not tease me ruthlessly for the rest of time. I
trust you—well, that’s really it. I trust you. And I hope that what happened at Holly’s graduation party won’t ruin that.
Because there’s a lot that’s happened since. . . .