Chapter 28
The alley behind the warehouse is comfortingly dark and quiet. I don’t make a habit of hanging out in alleyways, but the crowded event space at the robotics venue got hot. A wave of dizziness forced me outside to lean against the cool brick.
“There you are,” Jacob says as he approaches.
“I was hoping to find you out here.” Even in the dim light of the alley, he’s cute enough to give me butterflies.
It’s been three years, and every time I see him, I hope it will stop.
Or that I’ll be brave enough to act on those feelings that set them aflutter.
“Sorry,” I mumble. “I needed a minute.”
I needed a minute because the entire world has stopped for me.
Jacob is leaving. Transferring out of state at the end of the spring semester in a few weeks.
He was so happy announcing his retirement from our league.
And I’m happy for him, but it hurts. I thought we’d have more time together.
I thought we were stuck here together. I thought, maybe, that things might keep growing between us.
Sure, I’m nursing an entire garden of love for him, but maybe something could take root in him, too.
The world won’t stop spinning, and the last thing I need right now is to pass out in front of a bunch of people, especially him.
The alley seemed like a better choice. Now that he’s here, though, and we’re alone, I think it might be the worst choice.
He’s standing so close that I’m hot all over again.
“So, Caltech. Congratulations.” We have the same major.
The difference is that he leveled up so hard, he’s in the mesosphere, while I might as well be standing waist-deep in the Dead Sea.
He can’t hide his delight. His dimple is extra deep in the shadows, and it’s adorable. “Yeah, I’m really excited. I didn’t bother applying initially, but a recruiter reached out and—sorry,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “You don’t care.”
“Of course I care, Jacob.” I care too much. I’ll miss you. I want to go with you. “I’m so happy for you. I know that’s your dream.” My words are earnest. I am happy for him. Thrilled. This is the way he’ll achieve his dreams, and I want that for him more than anything.
“Thanks.” He looks at me through thick, bashful lashes. “I’ll miss you, you know. Even if I’m glad to get a break from losing to you,” he laughs.
The butterflies in my stomach seem to be trying to gnaw through my rib cage.
“Really?” He’s so hot, smart, and nice. He’s always kept it friendly, though.
He’s certainly never made a move. Even if I thought there were times he might, we’ve always firmly settled back into friend territory.
It’s not like I have time to date. It was a miracle I could get the kid next door to babysit tonight so I could be here.
It only cost me some free tutoring on his math homework.
Jacob is closer now, somehow. The warmth of his body is a breath away from mine.
We sit together all the time, even lean against each other.
But this? This is infinitely closer, like we are microns apart.
Those big gray eyes peer down into mine.
I could get lost in them. I could run away into them.
His eyebrows pinch slightly. “Of course.”
“There are much more interesting things to occupy your time. You’ll forget all about me in, like, two weeks, max.” It’s supposed to come out joking and with a smile, but his hand tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, and I lose all motor function.
“Impossible.” His eyes flick to my lips, and time slows down. “Maybe I won’t be as distracted for the first time in years, but I could never, ever forget you, Mari.”
The distance is so small between us, all I’d have to do is lean forward, and we’d be touching. Kissing. I could finally, finally kiss him.
The cool bricks are no longer touching my back as my eyes close. His warm chest brushes mine. “Mari,” he murmurs, breath dancing across my lips.
A shrill ring makes my eyes pop open. My pocket buzzes and blares. It’s the babysitter’s ringtone.
“I’m sorry, I have to take this.” I fumble for the phone, trying to reorient my entire life back to reality. Jacob nods, expression blank, and steps back. “Hello?”
The babysitter’s panic makes my sky-high heart rate shoot to the stratosphere.
“103.7 degrees? No, that’s not a normal temperature.
I’m coming home right now. Can you pack a change of clothes for both of us in my backpack?
We have to go to the hospital. Okay, thanks.
” Jacob’s big gray eyes are dark with worry. “I’m sorry, I-I have to go.”
“Do you need a ride?”
I pat my pockets, making sure I have everything I need to go. “No, I have the car. I just—I’m sorry.”